Calista has awakened something in me.
Something I thought dead and buried.
Fragments of my childhood rise like ghosts from their tombs, their ominous presence chilling my skin. I concentrate on Calista’s face when another tries to take its place. That of another woman.
The only one I’ve ever loved.
My mother’s features briefly take over in the form of blonde hair and light blue eyes the same shade as mine. Her voice drifts past my ears, the words full of hopes and dreams that never come to fruition. But I hold her in my arms regardless, determined to fight the demons ravaging her body. How can someone fight an enemy they can’t see?
Addiction is the strongest adversary I’ve ever encountered.
The depression.
The panic attacks.
The delusions of a better future.
I clench my teeth and hold my mother closer as if to shield her from the battle within, knowing the poison is already coursing through her blood stream. My focus narrows until the only thing I can see is her glazed expression; pale blue eyes dull from the drugs, becoming more lifeless as each second passes. A moment of time I’ll never recover. Because deep down, I know how this all ends. It doesn’t stop me from saying what she needs to hear.
“You’re safe,” I tell her, my thumb tracing the curve of her cheek. “I’ve got you.”
A hint of jasmine.
A warm touch.
A soft voice.
The gentle caress along my jaw, accompanied by my name being spoken, pulls me from the dark recesses of my mind.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Hayden. I’m fine.”
I look down at Calista as if seeing her for the first time. In return, she smiles up at me. To reassure me.
To comfort me.
Even in the midst of anxiety ravaging her mind and body, this woman’s only concern at this moment is me. I frown at this selfless act. It takes me back to that day at the funeral where Calista consoled everyone else instead of receiving support like she should’ve.
Despite my churning thoughts, she continues to explore my face, slowly and deliberately, as if wanting to commit it to memory. All the while, Calista’s body quakes in my arms. In contrast, I’ve become immobile, a living statue.
Until she touches my lips.
Something about that shatters the remaining vestiges of my childhood memories. Despite my lingering affection for my mother, I’ll never confuse the feel of Calista’s touch with another’s. Each stroke of her fingers brands me, the heat of her skin on mine is a fire that burns deeper and hotter than a supernova.
Calista drops her hand, tucking it close to her chest. My brows snap together at the loss. Craving the feel of her touch, I take her hand and bring it to my mouth, my lips brushing her fingers.
Her tremors increase in strength. Is she afraid of me?
“Don’t stop,” I whisper. Even with me speaking at a low volume, it doesn’t disguise the vehemence coating my tone. I am desperate for Calista. In ways I didn’t realize until now. “I need more.”
I flatten her palm against my cheek and briefly close my eyes, siphoning the tenderness from this woman. She stares up at me, her gaze wide, the hazel within molten gold. What does she see when she looks at me?
“I’m here,” she whispers back. “Whatever you need.”
Calista Green has given me permission to take.
To consume.
To own.
How can I resist?
I. Can’t.
