“Hayden,” I breathe, his name a gasp and a sigh all in one.
“It’s never been this way for me. I don’t know how to deal with it except to make sure that you’re safe and cared for at all times. That’s the only thing keeping me from going completely insane and kidnapping you. Although, I’ve thought about it. A lot.”
His words steal the air from my lungs. Taking a deep breath, I curl my fingers into his shirt, clinging with a desperation that frightens me as much as his confession. “This isn’t healthy. For either of us.”
His gaze holds mine, stripping away layers of armor and defiance to expose the lonely woman beneath the exterior I present to the world. The one who craves his affection with a thirst that could drown her. Am I in this thing as deep as he is? Not yet. Only because he’s accepted it and I haven’t.
“It might not be healthy or what’s considered normal.” He releases my chin to slide his hand in my hair, tangling his fingers in the strands to hold me immobile. “But I don’t want normal if it means I can’t have you.”
A choked sound escapes my throat as his words pierce the last of my defenses. No one has ever looked at me the way Hayden does. And they certainly have never gone through the lengths he has to keep me safe. Not even my father cared this much, and he loved me.
Whatever Hayden feels for me, it might be stronger than love.
But it’s more dangerous as well.
“Elite Health Care,” I whisper. Hayden’s brow furrows, and I close my eyes, unable to repeat myself while looking at him. “Elite Health Care is the name.”
Still gripping the back of my head, he uses his other hand to trace my eyelids, his touch lighter than the stroke of a butterfly’s wing. “Look at me.” When I do, I find confusion warring with the dawning comprehension that travels over his features. “The clinic,” he rasps. “That’s where you were that night.”
Witnessing the understanding blooming within his mind is swiftly followed by feelings of shame so raw my chest burns. Tears prick my eyes as I nod in confirmation. Keeping this piece of information from him is only delaying the inevitable. Similar to my relationship with him.
Hayden will ultimately get what he wants from me, and I’m powerless to stop it.
“Why are you telling me now, after refusing me for days?” he asks.
That’s the real question, the one that has my mind spinning and my heart pumping crazily. All night I’ve wrestled with the notion that Hayden is only pursuing me because he wants the details of my past, and that once he has them, he’ll be done with me. All of this passion and intensity from him will fade, and I’ll be left behind with my secrets exposed and only my loneliness to comfort me. By telling him the things he wants, I’m expediting the end of whatever this is between us.
Because I can’t imagine him keeping me when he knows everything.
I take a shuddering breath, willing the rapid beat of my heart to slow. “I’m telling you because I’m tired of running from you, Hayden. I’m tired of pretending this thing between us will somehow fade if I avoid it long enough.”
His eyes narrow, searching mine. “And knowing the truth will make me run from you instead?”
A humorless laugh escapes my lips. “I doubt there’s anything that would make you run away in fear. But to answer your question, I think it’s more likely that knowing the truth will make you realize I’m not…” I pause, choosing my words carefully. “I’m not what you really want. And that’s okay, but I’d rather you know that sooner rather than later before I—”
Fall in love with you.
I worry my lower lip between my teeth to stop myself from talking. For fuck’s sake, admitting that would’ve been disastrous. I wish I could blame the alcohol, but I doubt its effects on me are stronger than Hayden’s presence. With the two combined, I’m liable to say something stupid.
“What did I say about biting your lip?” He places his thumb on my bottom lip, gently prying it from my teeth. “I want to have this conversation with you, but you’re making it difficult. Now all I want to do is fuck this pretty mouth.”
He swipes his thumb over the seam of my lips, and I immediately part them. Inviting him. He dips his finger inside and sweeps the pad over my tongue before dragging it across my teeth. His body trembles, and he closes his eyes as though battling to stay in control of himself. When he looks at me again, the blue of his gaze has darkened with hunger.
“You make me ache, Callie. In ways I didn’t know I could.”
“You’ve done the same thing to me.”
I flatten my hands against his chest, unsure if I have the emotional fortitude to push this man away. The raw longing etched across his beautiful face has me shaking with desire. And fear.
“I think it’s best that we don’t kiss or do anything else until you’ve solved my father’s murder and reviewed all of the information that I’m going to give you.” A shadow crosses his features, and I rush to explain. “If this thing between us is inevitable, then putting it on pause won’t matter in the long run.”
“Perhaps, not, but that doesn’t mean I want to suffer in the interim,” Hayden says. He releases me completely and takes a step back. The hunger in his eyes doesn’t fade, but his face takes on a cool expression. “I’ll agree to that, but I have conditions that must be met.”
“What are they?”
I hate the distance between us, but it’s something I desperately need if I’m to negotiate with Hayden. Without the warmth of his body seeping into mine, I find myself chilled and wrap my arms around my waist. Or maybe I’m fortifying myself for what he’s going to say.
“First, you’ll move in with me.” When I sputter, he holds up a hand. “You said you have a stalker, which means you’re in danger. I can’t do whatever’s necessary to solve your father’s murder if I’m spending all of my time worrying about you. With you living here, I’ll know you’re safe.”
“Are you serious right now? I’ve known you for all of what? A fucking minute? And what about my job?” I extend my arms, nearly flapping them in agitation. “Stalker or no, I can’t just stay here all day and do nothing.”
“Language,” he says, his tone laced with warning. “If you want to dirty your mouth, I know plenty of ways to do that without the use of words. As for your job, I will escort you to and from work, as well as assign you a personal bodyguard during the time we’re apart.”
“Hayden, this is crazy. I can’t agree to this.”
“You can and you will.” When I glare at him, he continues as if my anger is a mere annoyance. “Secondly, you will give me your word that you’ll notify me immediately if anyone threatens you in any capacity. Whether that’s a random stranger or your ex-fiancé stopping by the Sugar Cube. And lastly, once I find your father’s killer, you will give yourself to me. Completely, without restriction.”
I gape at him. Because there’s nothing else for me to do except scream in frustration or pass out from shock. I’d love to say that Hayden is just messing with me in some wild attempt to get me in his bed, but the look of certainty on his face says this goes beyond sexual gratification.
Hayden Bennett wants to fucking own me.
I drop my gaze, unable to bear the intensity of his. Because when I look in his eyes, all I can see is the determination written in their depths. As well as his need for me.
I start to bite my lip and quickly release it at the growl that leaves Hayden’s throat. Ignoring the flash of lust that streaks through his gaze, I cross my arms and consider his conditions. As much as I chafe at the restrictions, the safety he’s offering, both physically and financially, is too enticing for me to turn down. If I didn’t have a stalker prowling about in my apartment, violating my private spaces, I’d have more courage to tell Hayden to kiss my ass. But with my life on the line, I’m less resistant to his demands if they’ll keep me breathing.
“If I agree to this,” I say, “then you have to promise to respect my decisions and not try to dictate everything I do or where I go. I need to be free to spend time with Harper, go to work, and just live my freaking life without your interference. I’m sure you can understand that?”
He gives me a blank stare, and heat rises to my cheeks. How can he unravel me with a single glance? It’s baffling.
“I’m fine with that as long as none of it involves another man,” he says. “Unless you want me to threaten his life. I might not have claimed your body, but I’ll be fucked before I let someone else touch you.”
My gasp is nothing more than a puff of air, and not enough to satiate my lungs’ need for oxygen. I drop my gaze and suck in several deep breaths, having given up on trying to calm my fluttering pulse. If the things Hayden says gives me a heart attack, then that’s how I’m meant to go.
He places his index finger under my chin and lifts my head. ‘Once this case is solved, you won’t have any excuses left and no places to run. Right now, you’re the only obstacle in my way, but you’re also the only woman I want. Despite what you believe, that’s never going to change.”
“I don’t believe you, but even if I did, what do you want from me? Sex? A relationship? Love?” I jerk my chin away and scoff. “I doubt you can answer that. I know I can’t.”
At least I can’t without sounding as deranged as he does. It’s not that I’d marry Hayden tomorrow, even if he asked me. What I want is for us to be together with the end goal of figuring out what we mean to each other. And that takes time.
But with time can come disinterest. Have I bought myself enough time to test Hayden’s infatuation? And my own?
“I do know what I want, Callie. You. All of you.” He takes my face between his large hands, the tips of his fingers digging into my head. Not enough to hurt, but enough to keep me still. “Agree to my terms. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Give me seventy-two hours.”
He nods slowly and then drops his head to rest it against mine. “Until then, I intend to convince you.”
“Until then, I intend to resist you.”
