I can sense Hayden’s reluctance to let go of me, but he does and steps back. The imprint of his hands burns still against my skin, his final words echoing through the restless chambers of my heart. I stare at him, torn between relief for the delay and regret for a reckoning I’m still not ready to face.
How could any reprieve be long enough to prepare me for a man hell-bent on possession of my body, my secrets, and my very soul?
This man offers sanctuary and solace with one breath, command and conquest with the next. Safety and stability in exchange for absolute surrender on his merciless terms. However, I have no one to blame but myself.
I knew what I was getting into the moment I sought out his help.
It begs the question: Am I really upset? Or am I pretending to be because I’m not and I know I should be?
“Are you ready for bed?” he asks me.
It’s a simple question, but I can’t stop the nervousness that flows over my skin. After this lengthy conversation, I’m confident that Hayden won’t try to have sex with me. So why don’t I feel at ease?
“Yes.”
He tilts his head. “This way.”
Once again he places his hand at the small of my back and guides me down the hallway. To his room. When I stop, he does the same, turning to look down at me with confusion written on his face.
“That’s your room,” I say, by way of explanation.
“I know that.”
“Don’t you have a guest room?”
He nods. “I do, but you won’t be sleeping anywhere unless it’s with me.”
“Hayden…”
His eyes soften as he takes in my obvious distress. “I gave you my word, Callie. My only objective tonight is to keep you safe. Nothing more, no matter how much I want to.”
My stomach dips at the hunger in his voice. I might be fighting my attraction to him, but Hayden is fighting more than that. He’s battling his primal instincts. That’s what drives him to delve into the baser wants, the ones that seek out satisfaction at any cost.
He presses his hand against my spine, and I allow him to lead me inside. I walk over to the bed and sit on the plush mattress, more than ready to sleep in my dress. Not that it covers much, but it’s better than sleeping naked. I’m not brave enough to test Hayden’s limits, even if he did make me a promise to keep his hands to himself.
He makes his way over to a dresser and removes a plain, white t-shirt before offering it to me. “Here. Change and then come to bed.” At my hesitation, he exhales, the sound full of frustration. “What did I say? You know, you’re going to have to trust me at some point.”
“I know, and I do to a certain extent. But asking me to undress in front of you and share your bed is pushing the limits of that trust.” I cross my arms, distress giving way to irritation at him. “A guest room and t-shirt seem perfectly adequate for ensuring my safety tonight.”
“You don’t have to change in front of me.” He juts his chin in the direction of the bathroom. “Change in there, but you will sleep in my bed.”
Lifting my chin, I take the offered shirt and head into the en-suite bathroom, changing and washing up for bed. By the time I emerge, Hayden has dimmed the lights and lies atop the covers with his hands folded behind his head. I run my gaze over him, taking in the relaxed position, finding it at odds with the tension lining his body.
He sits up as I approach the empty side of the bed and pulls the cover back in invitation. I take a deep breath and slide beneath them, my movements stilted due to my uncertainty. He settles against the pillows once more and we lie in strained silence for several moments.
Until Hayden releases an exasperated sound and rolls to face me. “For fuck’s sake, relax. I’m not going to kill you.”
“There are things worse than death. In fact, sometimes killing is a mercy.”
“You believe that?”
I nod. “It depends on the situation, but yes, I do.”
“I’ve always seen death as a solution.”
“It can be that as well.”
He studies me. I can feel his gaze traveling along my profile, down my throat, and across my chest. It’s a phantom caress, one that still ignites my blood. I turn my head to meet his gaze.
Instantly falling under his spell.
“Hayden?”
“Yes?”
“I already lost my father to death,” I whisper, unable to speak at a normal volume with tears scratching my throat. “Please don’t let it take you too. I don’t want this stalker to hurt you.”
Hayden stares at me, his eyes widening, allowing me to see the emotion swirling inside. It pulses like a living thing, growing stronger until the blue becomes all I can see.
In one swift motion, he shifts positions, eradicating the distance between us. Hovering over me with his hips pressed against mine and his fisted hands on either side of my head, he stares down at me with raw intensity. The air thickens with a mixture of desire and vulnerability, as if the weight of our connection hangs in the balance. Then he lifts a hand and captures my face, running his thumb along my lower lip.
“Never,” he says, the sound guttural and deep, as if summoned from the depths of his soul. “Do you hear me, Callie? I’ll never leave you. Not in this life or whatever comes after. You are mine. And I will burn this world to fucking ashes before I let anything take you from me. Or me from you.”
His passionate declaration wrecks me in the best possible way.
I fist the material of his shirt and yank him to me, molding my mouth to his. I part my lips, opening eagerly to welcome him, to invite him to take what belongs to him. He groans into the kiss, making me clench my thighs, my body yearning for his touch.
The heat and feel of him lying on top of me seeps into my bones, leaving an imprint on my DNA as well as my heart. He delves his tongue into my mouth with a fierce hunger that slowly chases away the tendrils of doubt and fear, replacing them with desire and longing.
When I moan into his mouth, he tears his from mine, easing back to let his gaze roam where I want his hands to explore. After the thorough perusal, his eyes find mine, and he shakes his head.
“I thought you said ‘no kissing?’”
I shrug. “I said you couldn’t kiss me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do what I want.”
“That’s unfair, but I’ll never deny you.” He grinds his cock into me, causing my breath to hitch. “I’d give you anything if it meant I’d get to keep you.”
“Keeping me means surviving you.”
His brows snap together. “Explain.”
“If I give myself to you—”
“When,” he interjects.
I glare up at him, but it lacks any real heat. “If I give myself to you, you’ll break me into pieces so small I won’t be able to put myself back together or make myself whole.”
“I’ll fuse your broken pieces with mine. Together, we’ll be whole, Callie.”
Hayden’s eyes blaze, the blue within the hottest flames as he gazes down at me, his promise floating in the atmosphere. I tremble at the savage beauty etched into his face. It tells of a longing so acute it leaves him raw and me in danger. Not of my heart being broken, but of it being stolen completely.
This man could reach inside my rib cage, claim my heart, and leave me empty where it once beat for him. An echoing in my chest that’ll last for the rest of my life. I’d rather be a part of him, than separate and hollow.
His pupils contract at the acceptance that’s sure to be on my face, a direct reflection of my thoughts. He lowers his head, claiming my lips in a kiss, and I gasp against his mouth, tightening my grip on his shirt to anchor myself as the world threatens to disappear. It always does when I’m with him.
He groans and slides a hand behind my neck, angling my head as he deepens the kiss. He drinks from me, devours me, as his tongue strokes and flicks, igniting flames that dance along my senses. Only when my lungs burn for air does he lift his head. Our ragged breaths mingle, both of our chests heaving.
“Sleep now,” he says.
“What about you?”
He squeezes his eyes shut as though in pain. “I need to leave you alone right now, or I’ll break my promise to you.”
“Will you come back?”
His eyelids lift and he gazes at me with such tenderness that I nearly sigh. “I will always come back to you, Callie.”
