“All right, tell me what’s going on.”
My brows scrunch together. “I don’t know what you mean. Nothing’s going on.”
Emilia looks at me with shrewd eyes. “Hmm, nice try. But you’re my best friend and I know you better than that. So, tell me…what happened?”
Everything happened.
“It was…nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing. You were dehydrated and in the hospital, so it clearly wasn’t nothing.”
Oh. That’s what she’s talking about.
“Right. It was just that—a little dehydration, but I’m better now.”
“Good. I’m glad. Now tell me about what happened with Lowell.”
My heart leaps into my throat just hearing his name. “W-What about him?”
“Why is he moping around the rink?”
He is?
I think in another life at another time, it would give me a bit of satisfaction to know he’s hurting like I’m hurting.
But it doesn’t. If anything, it makes me feel worse.
A small wave of discomfort surges through my belly, and I rub it to help soothe it. I take a mental note of the time like I have been all day since they began in the wee hours of the morning. They’re getting closer together and more painful, that’s for sure.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say to her, pushing through the discomfort.
“Yes, you do. Start talking.”
I know she’s not going to give up. To be fair, I knew she wasn’t going to give up when she came over here tonight when she’s supposed to be working. She took a personal day just to spend time with me. I love her for it, but I also would have been fine having a night to myself to sulk.
I finally convinced Harper to stop “dropping by” to check on me, to not swoop me out of my apartment for a “girls’ day” and kidnap me to take me to her house and watch the game tonight, which Collin is back in action for after being a healthy scratch last night.
I was at their house when he came back from practice with a busted lip. I didn’t ask how he got it. I already knew.
It made me love that Collin is going to be my baby’s uncle just a little more in that moment. I know they’ll always be safe with him around.
I fill Emilia in on everything. What happened at the hospital, what happened before that. Everything that’s been running through my mind for the last several months.
When I’m finished, she doesn’t say anything for several long moments. Then, her lips pull into a soft smile, the bun of beautiful red hair piled up high tipping sideways with her head tilt. “You love him, don’t you?”
I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. “I do. But that’s bad, right? I…I just got out of a long-term relationship. Hell, out of a marriage. I can’t be in love with someone else already, can I?”
“Of course you can. There’s no timeline on things like this, Hollis. Is that what’s been holding you back?”
In a way, it is. I didn’t tell Harper that because, no offense to her, she wouldn’t understand. She doesn’t know what it’s like to promise yourself to someone and have them betray you in the worst way possible.
Emilia…she understands.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. We never officially defined what we were, you know? We just…were. Until we weren’t.”
“But it felt like you were dating, didn’t it?”
I nod. “Yes.”
As much as I told myself not to, I got attached to him. I got attached to us.
“When the doctor came into the room and called him my husband…” I trail off, conjuring up the image of the look on his face when she said that with ease. “He said he was just the dad. That was it.”
I can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at me in that hospital room. He looked angry and scared and hurt and back to scared. I get it—I was scared too.
But it was more than that with him. He looked unsure. About us…about everything.
That scared me more than anything else. I can’t open my heart to someone again and then get hurt. I just can’t. I have more than me to think about. I have my baby too.
“I see the wheels turning in your head, and you’re a fool if you think that man doesn’t love you, Hollis. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You mean the world to him. I’d wager to bet you mean more than the world to him. He won’t hurt you. I know he won’t.”
“Giving him that power though…”
“Trust me,” she says, “I know better than anyone how scary that is. I mean, look at me, it’s been nearly three years since The Dick Who Shall Not Be Named, and I still can’t get over it.”
If I thought what I went through with Thad was a roller coaster, it’s almost nothing compared to what happened with Emilia and her ex. I don’t blame her for not being ready, though I do think some of that has to do with a certain older hockey player…
“But I think of all people in the world, Lowell might just be worth putting your heart on the line for. You need to talk to him. Tell him how you’re feeling. Be honest with him.”
Truthfully, I think she’s right. Hell, I know she’s right. I can either put my heart out there and see what happens, or I can hurt and suffer alone.
I’ve never really been one to run from my problems, and I’m not about to start now.
“I will. I’ll talk to him and I’ll tell him how I feel. I—”
Another tidal wave of pressure hits me, and I press on my belly once again.
Emilia notices this time. “Are you okay?”
“Uh…yes.” I wince.
“Are you sure?”
“Maybe? I’m cramping.”
“How long have you been cramping?”
“Inconsistently? All day. Consistently? A few hours now, I think.”
“A few hours…” she mutters. “Hollis, are you…”
“Oh god.” I lurch forward, my stomach really hurting now.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s happening. Is this like when you felt dehydrated?”
“No, no. This is…I…I don’t know. Something else—oh!” Yet another wave of pain courses through me.
“Are you in labor?”
“No! Yes! I can’t be! I don’t even have my go bag packed!”
“Yes, I am certain that is exactly what your baby is waiting on—you to be prepared with your go bag.”
“Not”—another wave, another sharp inhale—“helping, Emilia.”
“Okay,” she says, standing. “Up. We’re going to the hospital.”
“What?” I swat at her. “No. I’m telling you, it’s nothing. I’d know if I were in labor. I’d—”
“Are you peeing on the couch?!”
I look down and—yep, there’s a pool of fluid turning the light gray couch into a dark one.
Oh no…
“Uh, Emilia? I think I might be in labor.”
“No shit! Come on, up. We’re leaving.”
She grabs me, helping me off the couch, tossing her purse over her shoulder as she rushes to get shoes on.
Another contraction hits me.
Oh my god.
Have I been in labor all day and not realized it? My stomach has been hurting worse through the day, but I shouldn’t be in labor yet. I’m only 38 weeks. I still have time…
“Okay, let’s go,” she says, leading me to the door.
“My phone!”
“Your—where is it?”
I point to the couch, still trying to breathe through the pain since it’s lasting for about a minute each time now. “I need to call…”
“Who? Who do you need me to call?”
“Lowell. I need Lowell.”
