I’m about to be a dad.
Me.
I can’t believe it.
“Can you not move this truck any faster? I know it’s falling apart, but shit, you’re driving like you’re about to be a grandpa, not a dad.”
We’re fifteen minutes away from the hospital stuck in traffic. It’s moving, but not fast enough.
Fucking game days.
I spare Harper a glare. “I can only go as fast as traffic.”
“Bullshit you can. Get this baby up on the shoulder. Drive around.”
“Do you have no sense of legalities when it comes to driving?”
“No.”
“Remind me why I brought you again?”
“Uh, because you need me!”
I huff out a laugh. “More like because you accosted me.” I shake my head. “I don’t know what it is with you Kelly women just butting into other people’s business.”
“Lowell, I swear, I will pinch your nipple if you do not just shut up and drive. I don’t want to miss the birth of my niece or nephew!”
“And you think I want to miss the birth of my child?”
“Then drive!” she yells.
And I do.
I take Fiona right up on the shoulder of the road and I gas it.
We look crazy. Completely bonkers. What we’re doing is illegal, and if the Comets aren’t pissed that I ran out of the game without serving the second day of my healthy scratch, they’ll really be pissed after they find out about this.
Harper’s phone beeps with a notification.
“It’s Emilia,” she says. “She says they got her in a room and are waiting for the doctor.”
“How dilated is she?”
“Ew, gross. I do not want to know how big my sister’s cervix is.”
“Harper…”
“Fine. It’s a three.”
“Okay, okay. So, we have time. That’s good.”
I slow the truck down as I inhale a sharp breath through my nose, then exhale through my mouth. I am out-of-this-fucking-world nervous. In fact, the last time I was this nervous was during the Cup Final. I would have never told the boys because they didn’t need to see me sweat, but I was freaking.
That’s nothing compared to this though.
“Are you doing Lamaze?”
“What? I’ve been watching some videos on YouTube. Sue me.”
Hollis and I spent hours sitting in her bedroom learning breathing techniques. We’d practice until we’d start laughing.
Then we’d start kissing. And that always led to more.
“It’s cute,” she says. She reaches over, squeezing my arm. “You’re going to be a good dad, Lowell.”
I swear to fuck someone is cutting onions in this truck because tears spring to my eyes. I will them back, sniffling. If Harper notices, she doesn’t say anything, and I like that she doesn’t say anything.
“Are you excited to be an aunt?”
“Yeah. I’m going to be amazing at it. I already have a bunch of coffee and sugar at home.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to tell the parents you’re going to feed their child caffeine and sugar.”
“Oh. Well, then, I definitely do not have any coffee or sugar at home. Absolutely zero.”
I snort, then put my blinker on. I might be an asshole for driving on the side of the road, but at least I have some manners.
We pull into the parking lot and find a spot.
Then, I sit there. I sit there because I am having a complete and total panic attack and oh my god I can’t believe this is actually happening right now. I can’t believe this is happening when Hollis and I haven’t spoken in days.
I thought I’d have more time. I thought I might still have weeks to convince her I’m madly in love with her and want to spend the rest of my life showing her that.
“Lowell? You okay? You stopped Lamaze-ing.”
I chuckle at that because it’s not a real word and it breaks my tension.
“I’m okay. I’m just…”
“I know,” she says. “I get it. But you need to pull your head out of your ass and get in there. It’s a team effort and you need to support each other right now. Your girl—my sister—is waiting for you. Don’t make her do this alone.”
I grin at her. “You know, you wouldn’t be too bad behind the bench. We could use a motivator like you.”
“I know. Now, go tell my sister you love her.”
“Yes, Coach.”
“I’m looking for Kelly. Hollis Kelly.”
“Who are you?” the nurse at the station asks.
“Her…boyfriend. And the father.”
“Oh!” she says excitedly. “We were wondering when you’d get here. Follow me. I’ll take you to her. I was just about to go do my check-in.”
I follow the short nurse down the hall, Lamaze-ing the whole way down.
“Nice technique,” she says over her shoulder, pushing the door open.
All my technique goes right out the window when I see Hollis lying in the bed. She looks…well, fucking gorgeous.
And in pain. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut and she’s holding her stomach, trying hard to breathe in and out of her nose. She does this for what seems like forever, and all I can do is watch.
“Oh, thank god! You’re here!” Emilia says from behind me, walking into the room carrying two big cups full of ice, a soda tucked under one arm. “She’s been dying for some water.”
I don’t think Hollis hears any of this because when the contraction finally subsides and she peels her eyes open, she looks completely shocked to see me.
“Cameron, you’re—”
“I love you.”
The words just fall from my lips. So quickly and so randomly even the nurse stops what she’s doing and looks over her shoulder at me.
I ignore her, stepping farther into the room.
“I love you, Hollis. I’m in love with you. Like really in love with you. In fact, I think I might love you more than I love hockey.” I take a few more steps, inching closer to the bed where she’s staring up at me with wide, glassy eyes. “But I don’t love you more than our baby, and I hope you can understand that.”
She tucks her lips together, barely holding back a sob.
I can’t take it. I have to touch her.
I rush across the rest of the distance in hurried steps and cradle her face in my hands. I look into those deep, dark blue eyes I can’t get enough of, the ones I’ll never get enough of.
“I just need you to know I love you, okay?”
She nods, and then, I kiss her.
I don’t care if I’m not supposed to kiss her right now. I don’t care if she’s mad at me.
I have to kiss her. I can’t stand here and not kiss her.
Luckily, she kisses me back with just as much fervor.
“You’re here,” she says when I pull away, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. I kiss those too.
“I’m here.”
I kiss her again, and then once more for good measure.
“All right, Dad,” the nurse says, laughing at us. “We need to check some stuff. Make yourself comfortable over there, all right?”
I move around to the other side of the bed, not letting Hollis’ hand go as the nurse checks her over and makes sure everything is good.
“Well, we’re moving along nicely. We’re at a four now. We still have hours to go, so you just rest, all right, Momma?”
Hollis nods, already looking tired.
The nurse promises more people will be in and out, then leaves.
Emilia points to the door. “I’m going to give you two some privacy. Let me know when I can start playing some Bon Jovi.”
“Bon Jovi?”
“You know, when we’re halfway there and livin’ on a prayer.” She winks, then closes the door behind her, leaving Hollis and me alone for the first time in a week.
I blow out a breath and look over at her. Even a little sweaty and tired from the contractions, she’s fucking stunning.
“Hi,” she whispers quietly.
“Hi.”
Then I just stare because she’s here and I’m here and we’re having a damn baby and I can’t wrap my head around it.
I don’t know how long we sit like that, but it’s long enough that day turns to night and the moonlight shines in through the window directly onto her. She looks just like she did back in that garden, and I think I loved her even then.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, the words tumbling out of me. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m an idiot for implying that you would do anything to harm our baby. I was just…”
“Scared,” she supplies for me, nodding. “I know. I was too. I am too.”
I blow out a breath because it makes me feel better to know she’s afraid of this too. “I didn’t plan on this, you know? I’ve been so against relationships and love and all the bullshit that goes with them for so long now. I’ve been putting hockey first and trying to forget that people have the ability to break you. But along the way, I forgot there’s this whole other side to love. I forgot all the good parts, the ones that make you feel like you’re on top of the world. I forgot all the parts that make it feel just as good as lifting a trophy over my head.”
“Not just any trophy—the Super Bowl trophy.”
I glower at her, and she giggles.
I fucking missed that giggle.
She sobers, squeezing my hand. “I know what you mean, Lowell. The thought of putting myself back out there after my divorce made me want to puke. Hell, it still makes me want to puke. I thought I’d have more time before I jumped into another life-altering thing. I thought I’d have time to figure out what went wrong before, to figure out what I want from life. But this”—she places her hand on her belly—“this is what I want. It’s not what I planned by a long shot, but I’ve never been gladder for something to happen. And I’m glad it was you.”
“I’m glad it’s me too. Even if we don’t work out together, I’m so glad my baby will always have you.”
“It’s a lucky baby, huh?”
“The luckiest.” I kiss her hand, trying to ignore the way my hands are definitely shaking right now. “We are totally crazy for this, right?”
“Absolutely insane.”
“That’s okay. I’ve heard crazy is hot.”
I wink, and she laughs.
“Miller?” I nod. “Figures. I can’t believe we’re here right now.”
“I know.”
“I can’t believe you love me.”
“I do.”
“And I can’t believe I love you too.”
Her words shouldn’t shock me. Not given the circumstances.
But they do.
They shock me because…this?
This is what Smith was talking about all along.
This is what was missing.
Them.
“Okay, wow. That is the cutest little bundle of squish ever.”
Harper coos at the baby tucked safely in her arms. It’s the same thing she’s been doing for the last thirty minutes, not letting a single other person have a chance to hold her.
Hollis finally gave birth just after midnight.
Watching her deliver our child will forever be imprinted on my mind. Not just because it was completely disgusting—absolutely nobody can deny that—but because I swear it made me fall even more in love with her watching her power through that.
“Did you decide on a name yet?” Collin asks, looking over Harper’s shoulder.
They’ve both been unable to stop staring.
“Miller!” the guy himself says. “It’s totally unisex.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not Miller, but we did settle on something. Do you want to tell them?”
“You can,” Hollis says, looking exhausted but so incredibly beautiful all at once.
“Freddie Olivia Lowell.”
Harper looks down at her brand-new baby niece. “Freddie. It’s perfect.”
They all clamor around her again, looking at the baby differently with her name.
“It is perfect, you know,” Hollis says, grinning up at me.
“I know. And so are you.” I wink.
“You know we can’t have sex for like six weeks, right?”
“I’m aware…”
“So, then, why are you saying so many nice things?”
I lean down, pressing my forehead against hers. “Because I’m in love with you…darlin’.”
She sighs. “I’ll let you get away with it this time, but only because you gave me a beautiful little girl.”
“Hell of a one-timer, right?”
“The best one-timer of my life.”
“I love you, Hollis.”
“And I love you…Cameron.”
