I stared at the door, silent, just like everyone else there, for the moment.
Then someone said, “Fuck that boss,” grabbed his things, and walked out.
“I guess what the papers say is true,” said another, making me turn around to see who it had been. People were looking at me with pity, since I was the only one he’d actually called out.
Simon leaned in and whispered in my ear, “You want me to go with you?” Everything about the past few weeks stopped making sense.
“Don’t worry, it’s fine,” I said. “I know how to deal with him.”
We’d had a few more dinners since that first one. One night, I’d told him about me and Nick. Obviously, it’d surprised Simon to find out that relationship was very far from us just being stepbrother and stepsister.
I smiled and walked toward the office Nick kept there, which was empty most of the time. I knocked on the door before entering, while everyone around me stared.
“Come in!” he roared.
When I did, I found him pacing anxiously back and forth.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
I took a deep breath while he stripped off his jacket, slung it into his chair, and rolled up his sleeves.
“I work here,” I responded. “I thought you knew that.”
He was jerking down his tie, but he stopped, looked over, and narrowed his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I lost my last job, and I remembered Lincoln Baxwell giving me his card at Jenna’s wedding. I called him, and he told me he’d find me something here.” I shrugged, as if the story were all too convenient, but that was how it actually had been.
Nick leaned on the desk and stared me down. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked, sounding almost disappointed. “I could have gotten you something much better.”
“You don’t even know what I do.”
“That’s true. Who do you work for?”
I had a hunch he wasn’t going to like what he heard, but I couldn’t lie; he would find out the truth almost instantly, and I didn’t want to piss him off worse. “I work for Simon… I’m his assistant.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “His assistant?” he replied mockingly, his eyebrows raised. “What the fuck does that mean?”
I crossed my arms. “What’s it supposed to mean, Nicholas? I help him with his agenda, I make him coffee…”
“Coffee?” He pronounced the word like an insult.
“Yeah, you know that black stuff people drink in the mornings—”
“Don’t be funny with me,” he cut me off, sitting down. “Aren’t you meant to be studying? Are you still pretending you need to work for some reason?”
“You’re the one who doesn’t need to work, Mister Leister,” I responded.
He looked at me the way a principal looks at a badly behaved student. “You’re really on fire this morning… Does acting like an idiot at work put you in a good mood?”
Fine: arm wrestling at work wasn’t the most professional thing ever, but Nick was the one who’d showed up late.
“What puts me in a good mood is seeing how jealous you are that I’m having a good time with your employees.”
“With Roger, you mean.”
“Employees,” I said, emphasizing the plural.
“I’m not jealous—I’m pissed off to see you wasting people’s time when they should be busting their balls to get this company off the ground.”
“So now it’s my fault that we were killing time waiting for you to show up at a meeting you called…”
“Look, let’s not start talking about what is whose fault, Noah. That could take all day.”
I’d forgotten how fucking annoying he could be.
“Can I go?” I asked, staring daggers at him.
“No.”
His eyes gleamed, with rage, with fury, with lust…
“You look good,” he said after a tense silence. The compliment caught me off guard. “You’ve put back on the pounds you lost. That’s a good thing. I don’t like you looking like a skeleton.”
I hadn’t expected that. “Are you calling me fat?”
He laughed in a way that nearly gave me a heart attack. “Do you think you look fat?”
No, of course I wasn’t fat, I’d never been fat; I’d just put back on the weight I’d lost after our breakup. I looked healthy now, less gaunt. That was a good sign. It meant I was moving on.
“You don’t look bad yourself,” I said, avoiding the question. “I guess being apart from me is doing you some good.”
My tone was cold, I knew that, and Nick didn’t reply. As he observed me, I imagined he was remembering the last time we’d been together. I know I was.
“You want anything else?” I asked, popping the bubble the two of us seemed to inhabit. “I ought to get back to work.”
He shook his head, almost leering. What was that look trying to tell me? I turned around and walked to the door, but before I left, I looked over my shoulder.
“You should take it easy on your employees, Nick. They’re good people, and they were all excited to meet you today.”
He leaned his head back as if about to say something, but then he just nodded. I left him alone, with a lot to think about, I supposed.
The meeting the next day was much better. Nick was nice to everyone, charming, but he didn’t apologize for his conduct the day before. He was the boss, after all, and I could see that finding his entire staff giggling and goofing off would have gotten under any boss’s skin. He had everyone there eating out of his hand by the end—everyone but Simon, who observed him politely but coldly. I didn’t like that, but there was nothing I could do about it. Nick treated me with the respect I deserved, and he kept his distance, which I appreciated. Now and again, I caught him looking at me. I couldn’t deny I liked having him there, even if it hurt me at the same time. Despite everything, I tried to concentrate on my work. It’s not like I had many chances to talk to him. Most of his meetings were private and didn’t require my presence. After all, I was simply an intern.
But everything got worse the day I emerged from my office and found myself face-to-face with…Sophia. We stared at each other for a moment, and even though I was dying inside, I struggled with all my might to stay calm.
“It’s nice to see you,” I said in the calmest, most buoyant tone I could muster.
Sophia gave me a surprised look, and Nick, who had heard my words on his way to Simon’s office, came to a stop next to her, looking at me warily, but not without interest in his blue eyes.
“If you’ll excuse me…” I turned on my heel and went straight to the bathroom, where I took a minute to try to relax and not cry.
Take it easy, Noah… You’re on your way to getting over him, remember? Breathe, breathe…don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing this is affecting you.
Seeing the two of them together, one right next to the other, would never stop tormenting me. It was one thing to see a photo; it was another to see the two of them together, and the way Sophia’s face lit up as soon as she felt him next to her, and Nicholas’s hand coming to rest on her lower back…
Fuck, no, no, don’t cry now, don’t do it, don’t be an idiot…
I stood up straight and splashed water on my face, careful not to let my makeup run. I touched up my lipstick. I needed to look strong, be the strong, mature Noah I had shown everyone up to that point.
When I walked out, Nick and Sophia had left. I walked to Simon’s office, knocked, and when he told me to come in, I nearly ran into Nick, who had hurried over to open the door for me.
He stared at me, and I looked away, edging past him to speak with my boss.
“I’ll get you all those numbers you asked for, Nick, no worries there,” Simon said.
Nick nodded, still staring at me.
Why are you just staring at me, Nick? Go be with your girlfriend; let me suffer in peace!
Nick must have read my thoughts, because he nodded again, walked out, and shut the door.
Simon came over and grabbed my hands. “You okay?”
I nodded, and he guided me over to his desk, leaning back against it.
Simon and I had just kissed, nothing more, and even that we’d only done twice. I knew I couldn’t keep pretending we were just fifteen. He was twenty-eight, and he’d made it evident that he liked me. A lot.
When he took my face in his hands and put his lips on mine, I did feel something, a kind of tickle, but it was nothing like the intoxication that overtook me whenever Nick looked me in the eyes.
Simon must have known I wasn’t into it, that I was distracted. He was right. At that moment, I was thinking of everything but him.
“I wanted to ask you something,” he announced, walking back to his chair. He opened a box and took out a white envelope. “In a few days, we’re having the grand-opening party. Everyone’s going. I’d like you to be my date.”
I opened my mouth a bit, ready to say an abrupt no. Go with him? Like I was his girlfriend? That would mean shouting to the four winds that we had something going on. At the same time, wouldn’t it help keep Nicholas in check? He would be going with Sophia for sure, so what was the problem?
“What do you say?” Simon asked hopefully.
“I mean, I’ll need to go out and buy a dress…if my boss will give me the time off, you know.”
He smiled with actual joy, and I left before I could regret it.
I was entering the belly of the beast.
The next night, I went out for a drink with Jenna. We hadn’t seen each other for weeks, and we’d decided it was time for a girls’ night out. I needed to feel like I was still nineteen, and Jenna needed to let out the old her, the Jenna who wasn’t married and never used to spend more than three nights in a row at home.
I put on a red leather miniskirt, which I felt the occasion demanded. It was a gift from my mother, as were the knee-length high-heeled boots. I crimped my hair and left it hanging loose down my back, and I painted my lips the same blood red as my skirt. Jenna would be proud.
After fighting with my GPS, I reached the bar where we were supposed to meet. My friend was waiting for me at the door and smiled wide when she saw me.
“You’ve gone all out today. Are we going on the prowl or something?”
“Me looking good doesn’t have a damned thing to do with men. I’m getting dressed up for me. Anyway, you’re married.”
Jenna didn’t even seem to hear what I was saying.
“This bar’s not bad. It’s not some dance-club shit, the lights are low… What do you want to bet that in half an hour, we’ll have every guy in here trying to get with us?”
“I thought we were just going to have a couple of drinks, talk, have fun, you know… I’m not interested in looking for a guy. If it’ll make you chill, you should know I’ve already got a thing…with my boss.”
Her jaw dropped. “Tell all!” she shouted. She liked gossip even better than she liked attention from guys.
I shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Buy me the first drink and I’ll tell you, but I’m warning you…it’s not a very long story.”
She nodded, still excited despite what I’d said, and dragged me inside. It was a small place, but it was packed. She ordered shots of some pink drink, and we sat at a small table in the corner. Then she demanded, “Talk! Are you fucking him? Are you fucking your boss?”
“We haven’t fucked, we went out to eat, and…well…we kissed…three times.”
“Three times?” she repeated in the sardonic tone I knew all too well. “Easy there, tiger, you don’t want him to think you’re a whore.”
“Shut up!” I said, tossing a peanut from the little dish they’d served with our drinks at her head.
She laughed, but she was still looking at me as if I were a mutant from another galaxy. “For real, Noah. I get that for you sex is something special and all, but fucking does have its advantages.”
I laughed and shook my head. But Jenna wouldn’t give up that easily, and she spent the next hour trying to get me to hook up with someone that night. By the time she was about to introduce me to the fifth guy of the evening, I looked at the clock and told her it was time for me to go.
“Sorry, Jenna, but I have to leave if I want to be able to keep my eyes open at work tomorrow. I don’t want Mr. Stiff to call me into his office and shout at me again.”
She chuckled.
“I didn’t ask you how it was going,” she remarked, a little warily. Nicholas had become an uncomfortable subject for both of us. No matter how close she and I were, she had known Nick since they were kids. She had always been there for me, but deep down, she’d never forgive me for breaking his heart.
“As long as we keep our distance, I think everything’s fine,” I said, lying like a dog. Nick’s presence affected me more than I was willing to say.
Just then I saw Lion, tall and ravishing, walk through the door of the bar. He found us right away, as if he had a radar in his head. I smiled and said hi, and Jenna scooted over to let him sit.
“What’s up, Noah?” he said, planting his big hand on her bare knee.
“Great. Tired, you know,” I said, putting down my glass, ready to go home. Now that I knew I wouldn’t be leaving Jenna alone, it was time to make a break for it.
I said goodbye and walked off to where I’d left my car. It was later than I’d wanted, but I felt good knowing Lion was there now. Jenna’s ability to stay up was legendary, and I just didn’t have the energy for her anymore.
I got in and took off toward the freeway. It was Friday night, and the traffic was terrible, so instead of being one more car stuck at a standstill, I took an exit, even if it meant a longer route home.
I turned on the radio to distract myself. After ten minutes, I noticed something strange. The wheel started jerking to the right, and I was having trouble keeping it straight.
Shit!
I slowed down, realizing I was in the middle of nowhere, slipping and sliding through the light rain that had been falling almost all day. I pulled onto the shoulder of the road and turned on my blinkers.
I tried to remember what you were supposed to do in cases like this. I got out, surrounded by darkness, and looked in the trunk for a flashlight, a reflective vest, a safety triangle, anything…but I couldn’t find them. I rooted around everywhere, throwing aside all the stupid things I’d left in there, using the flashlight on my phone, but…there was nothing.
A car zipped by so fast, I screamed and jumped back at least three feet.
“Dumbass!” I shouted.
Looking at the wheels of my Audi, I found a punctured tire, and I didn’t have a spare, a jack, or anything else that could help me just then. How I wished I had my old Beetle back, with the spare tire right in the front. I cursed myself for trying to feel all fancy in my convertible.
I took out my phone and called the one person I knew would come help me as soon as I hit the green call button.
It rang once.
