It was two in the morning, and I was asking myself what the hell I was doing there surrounded by all those shallow, stupid people I couldn’t stand and who, to make matters worse, were sucking up to me like they thought they could become my best friend.
We were at a golf club, the kind of place my father would go to meet his friends, and I was there because it was a good place to seal deals. I understood the game: I’d gone with Dad a few times, and I liked playing. Not as much as surfing, but still, it was entertaining. The thing I didn’t understand was why you would go to a place like that for a meeting. I found the whole thing irritating. Being surrounded by dudes in suits, sitting on leather sofas, smoking cigars, pretending to be the masters of the universe, having to watch people cross out clauses we’d spent six months putting together to their specifications.
I’d had to go there on the fly. That’s why I was there in jeans when everyone else was dudded up. My shirt was nothing to brag about, and I’d had to borrow a tie from Steve, because otherwise, they wouldn’t even have let me in.
I took out a cigarette, the sixth one I’d had that night, and watched Steve walk off to take a call. I had hoped he would give me an alibi to leave as soon as possible, so when he hung up, frowning and nodding, and came over to me, I gave him my full attention.
“I need to step away for a bit,” he said with a grave expression.
Step away?
“What’s up?” I asked, excusing myself from my colleagues, standing up, and walking with him to a corner where we could talk freely.
He smiled and shook his head. “Noah just called.”
The sound of her name was like an electric shock.
“Apparently, she’s popped a tire and doesn’t have a spare. She’s on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. She asked me to come help her.” He clicked his tongue.
Wait, what?
“I’ll go,” I said, surprising myself when I realized how badly I wanted to do it. “Tell me where to go.”
“Nicholas, she asked me if I was with you and told me specifically not to tell you anything.”
I grinned. “Looks to me like you didn’t listen to her. I’m going, Steve. I’m not asking your opinion.”
“Fine. I’ll book a car home. I’m texting you her whereabouts now. There’s a can of Fix-a-Flat in the trunk,” he said patiently.
I gave him a friendly bump on the shoulder and walked back over to the men in suits. “Gentlemen, I’m sorry to inform you I have to leave for the evening. There’s an emergency, and I’m needed immediately,” I said, pleased with the indignant look on their faces. “We can meet back at my office at a more reasonable hour. Good night.”
I didn’t even give them a chance to respond before I left. Noah was always the perfect excuse.
I followed my GPS, but I got worried as I drove into an increasingly deserted area bordering a secondary road people often caught when traffic was bad. I’d always told Noah not to do that; it was dangerous, some of the places you passed through were really run-down, but she was always determined to do things her way.
I found her car not far from the exit. Visibility was bad, and it would be easy for a distracted driver to ram right into her. Except for her hazard lights, there was nothing to indicate she was in trouble. I flashed my brights to let her know I was there, then parked in front of her and got out. She got out, too, and we stared at each other, me wanting to stuff her into my car and speed off, and her acting like she’d just come face-to-face with Satan himself.
I looked her over as I approached. My headlights revealed every one of her curves against the darkness of the night and gleamed alluringly in her hair. She looked like an angel surrounded by blackness.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, crossing her arms. She wanted me to think she was angry, but I could tell she was terrified. Her miniskirt didn’t leave much to the imagination. Without meaning to, I began stripping her naked in my mind… Were those lace garters I saw around the tops of her tender thighs?
I couldn’t help but step a little closer to her than she might have liked. Normally I was very respectful of the distance between myself and others. Noah didn’t make it easy, though.
“So that’s how you greet the person who’s come here to save you?” I asked, wanting to hug her, to warm her up and stop her shivering.
“I called Steve, not you,” she said, looking away. The intensity of my stare must have made her uncomfortable.
“Too bad Steve works for me.”
“Steve told me if I ever had a problem, I could call him.”
“And who do you think told him to say that?”
I smiled as she gave me a stupefied look.
“Don’t you have anything better to do? I know you’re a very busy man these days. Plus, what about Sophia?” she asked with what seemed like mild disgust.
She wasn’t trying to put me in a good mood if she mentioned Sophie. I could still remember the look on Noah’s face when she’d run into her at the LRB offices. Even if she kept up appearances, I knew her well enough to see it had affected her just as it would have affected me if I had to think about her being with another man.
“She’s with her parents in San Francisco… Now, come on.” I grabbed her hand and walked with her around to my trunk. I dug around until I found the Fix-a-Flat and a reflective vest she could throw on—Steve always had everything ready for the worst-case scenario. I guessed it was his job, after all. “Here, put this on.”
Noah jerked away but didn’t refuse the yellow vest, which she donned without complaint.
“I don’t need to tell you how irresponsible it is for you not to have a backup plan for emergencies like this,” I said, grabbing the can of Fix-a-Flat.
Noah followed behind me at first but then ran forward, trying to grab the can, protesting, “I can do it myself.”
As she crouched beside me, I told her, “I know you can. That’s not the point. I’m here to help you. Stand back and let me do it.”
“I don’t want your help, Nicholas.”
I turned, trying not to upbraid her, but I couldn’t keep it all in. “Oh, so you don’t want my help? Fine, I’ll go. I’ll take the Fix-a-Flat, and you can wait forever for a tow truck to come, and you can pay whatever it is they decide to charge you for putting a spare on in the middle of the night.”
“This is why I didn’t want Steve to say anything… You always wind up throwing everything in my face.”
That wasn’t what I was trying to do. As a matter of fact, I was happier being there in the middle of that busted road at two in the morning with Noah than I would have been anywhere else. That was the problem.
Angrier at myself than at her, I turned around and got to work. I knew she was watching my hands. The only sound was the cars passing by us and the wind that seemed to want to carry us away.
When I had finished and was about to take off, I found Noah leaning on the car and staring at me. A car passed, and I stepped toward her. She fell back against the door, and my hips were drawn magnetically to hers.
Our eyes met in the darkness, and I felt the painful need to touch her and see if her skin was as hot as mine was. I placed a hand on her thigh, and my fingers slid under her skirt.
“You’re freezing,” I said, pushing closer, wanting to feel her. She pressed a hand between us. I grabbed it and brought it to my chest, and she pushed me back slightly.
“Don’t do this, Nick,” she said, looking away.
“I just want to make sure you don’t have hypothermia,” I said, so softly that I didn’t think she heard me. Everything seemed to vanish. All I wanted was to cup her cheeks and kiss those lips until the sun came up and we were both burning like fire… I hated not being able to just pull her close and hug her; I hated that she wasn’t begging to curl up under my coat until the cold died away; I hated not seeing her smile from ear to ear knowing I was there.
I went to kiss her; I didn’t even hesitate—what were those lips made for if not to be kissed by mine?—but Noah didn’t let me: she crouched and slipped under my arm.
“I need to go,” she said, barely wavering, opening the driver’s side door and getting in.
Now I was the one who felt cold. I couldn’t let her just leave like that. I’d been a dick, it was wrong, but I couldn’t think clearly when we were alone.
“Hey, Noah,” I said, kneeling till she could see me through the window. She rolled it down to see me better. “It won’t happen again,” I said. “I promise.”
I don’t know what went through her head just then, but I do know the look she gave me made me feel like a madman for days on end.
