after his shower, he’s wearing his usual beige hoodie and black shorts combination, as well as his glasses under freshly washed, towel-dried hair. He finds me sitting up in bed, waiting for him, wearing a white crewneck sweater and black bicycle shorts.
“Hey,” he whispers, looking over at me as he places his prosthesis next to my dresser. “I thought you might be asleep by now.”
“Hi,” I say, “I wanted to talk to you first…”
“Everything okay?” he asks, lowering to the edge of the bed, his back facing me. I watch as he takes off his glasses and places them on the bedside table next to his phone.
I take a trembling breath in and dive toward him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my head between his shoulder blades.
“Hey,” he says gently, his neck turned as far as he can over his shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I answer, my voice muffled by his sweater. “I just needed to hug you.”
“Okay,” he says, placing his hand on mine over his ribs. “Let me lie down, and then we can both get in on this.”
I nod, pulling away.
Bo twists and lowers himself until he’s flat on his back, then gestures for me to come snuggle into his side with an outstretched arm. Instead, I crawl over top of him, straddling his hips and burrowing my face into his chest.
“Win…” Bo says as his large hands spread across my shoulders, rubbing up and down my back. “Talk to me, honey. What’s going on? Did something happen?”
“When you went to shower, your dad and I talked for a little bit.”
“Did he say something to upset you?”
“No…” I say, turning my head out to the side. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my sweater and sniff back tears. “But he told me about your mom.” My voice pitches up, near breaking. “About how she passed, and… Bo, I’m so sorry.”
“Oh,” he breathes out, his hands stilling on my back. “I was going to tell you, Win. I just—”
“No, no.” I sit up, teary-eyed, and look down at him. When I do, his expression isn’t what I expected. He looks scared, almost. Not sad. Not mournful. But scared. His jaw hardened and his eyes soft and held on me with a concern that has me wanting to smooth out the line between his brows with my thumb. More than that, actually. I wish I could take out his soul and smooth it out too, remove every wrinkle and crease and stain and give it back to him as good as new. “I’m not upset you didn’t tell me. I’m just… I wish I’d known,” I say. “So I could help somehow.”
Bo lifts up, forcing me to shift off his lower abdomen as he moves to sit with his back against the headboard. I go to move to the mattress next to him, but he pulls me back onto his lap with his hands on my hips.
With our faces just a few inches apart, Bo moves his hand to my neck, his thumb tracing my jaw tenderly next to my ear as his eyes delicately track the pattern.
Let me in, I want to say amidst the silence. Love me. Trust me. I won’t let you down. I swear it.
“I was scared that if I told you how my mom died, you’d think I was doing this for all the wrong reasons,” he says, his chest rising and his tear-brimmed eyes held tentatively on my jaw. “I didn’t want you to think that I asked you to move in just so I could monitor you or something. And…” He sighs, letting his forehead fall against my chin as he sniffs back tears.
“It’s okay…” I say, wrapping my hand around his neck, brushing over his hair. “You don’t have to explain. It’s okay…”
“I convinced myself that you wouldn’t be honest with me about how you’re feeling if you knew what had happened. I never wanted to risk your safety because you were more worried about my feelings than your own.” I feel his hands move to my hips, the tension pulling on my sweater as he balls up the material in his fists on either side. “But I did want to tell you, Win. I don’t want any secrets between us. Not anymore.”
I nod, my lips quivering against his hairline. He shakes with a soft sob, his shoulders falling forward. “It’s okay…” I say, over and over. “What happened is not at all your fault. It’s no one’s fault. You were just a baby. You’re not to blame.”
“I think…” He clears his throat, sitting up, his face level with mine. “I think having August is helping me realise that.” His nostrils flare on a deep inhale, and a tear drips down the left side of his cheek that he quickly wipes against his shoulder.
“Good.” I put my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me, to hear me. “Because we’d never blame them, would we?”
He shakes his head, his eyes locked on mine.
“You’ve given me so much, Win.”
“No…”
“Ever since I met you, it’s like every part of me has healed a little bit. Do you know that? Do you know that you do that for people?”
I nod. Not because I agree, but because I understand. “I think we both needed a fresh start. I think we gave that to each other.”
Bo’s hands begin shifting against my hips, his thumbs brushing the front of my stomach as he looks down between us. “It’s more than that, Win.” He tilts up to face me, his gaze pleading. “At least, it is for me.”
I swallow tightly, my hands still on the back of his neck.
“I’m not sure how to pace myself here. How to slow down so you can catch up,” he whispers.
“Catch up?” I ask, trembling.
“I think we both know how this is going to end,” he says, his voice gruff. “I’m just trying to figure out how to get us both there at the same time.”
“But… what about Cora?” I stutter out.
Bo leans back, studying my face intently with pouted lips and a raised brow. “What about Cora?”
I look down between us, dropping my hands from his neck. “That day, on the beach… you said you love her. You said you hadn’t gotten closure. It sounded like you were still—”
“I called her as soon as we got home, Win,” he interrupts.
“What?” I stammer.
“We got home from the beach, and all I could think was, here I am at the start of something new and beautiful, and I’m still stuck in the past. I realised I couldn’t keep making excuses for her. That I couldn’t leave things unresolved for the sake of peace. You deserved better than that. The baby deserved better than that. You made me realise that I deserved better than that. So I called her.”
“I… I didn’t know.”
Bo licks his lips, his eyes focused on something off to the side. “We talked for a few hours. I apologised for clinging to something long-over out of fear, and she apologised for… well, everything else. I think she’d been expecting me to call. She seemed ready for it. We both said our piece, and then she asked how I was. And then… I talked about you.”
“Me?”
Bo shakes his head, smiling. “I’ve been talking about you to pretty much anyone who would listen for months,” he laughs out softly. “I thought you knew, Win. I thought it was so painfully obvious how I feel about you. What I want here. I thought that’s why you set such clear boundaries. I thought you didn’t feel the same.”
I bring a hand to my mouth, covering a wavering smile. He wants me.
“I’ve been hanging on your every word, hoping you’ll give me a green light. I don’t want to push you. I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable, but… I don’t think I can pretend any—”
I kiss him. Because I have to. Because I can. Because it’s right.
And he kisses me back, fierce yet gentle, and it’s like a thousand hours spent wanting each other spilling between us. His hands go from my hips to my hair, clinging to me.
“You’re sure?” he asks, pulling back.
I giggle against his lips. “I’m sure, Bo. I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Okay… we’ll talk after?”
“After,” I agree, laughing still, giddy and relieved and so effervescently happy.
Our kiss quickly turns feverish, with an intensity I’ve never felt before.
I don’t question if he wants this, because he’s told me he does. I don’t question if it’s a good choice or a bad one or worry about all it could ruin. Because when you love someone this much, when you’ve seen their hurt and their heart and you recognise them as your own—you’re left with no choice but to give yourself over to it. And I’m tired of being scared. I long to be loved by a man like Bo. I long to love him, the way he deserves.
Our souls were tied a long time ago, I think. We’re just finally admitting it to each other.
Bo twists and lies down lengthways across the headboard, keeping me on top of him with a steady hold. We’re both smiling when our lips meet again, but that ends when Bo’s hand curls around the back of my neck, pulling me farther against him than it seems I can go.
I feel it too, wanting to fuse our bodies together—the need to become one living thing.
I sit up, reaching for the hem of my sweater, but he takes it off for me, throwing it across the room. I fumble with his hoodie as he struggles to lift enough for me to get a good grip. We both laugh softly, tugging and pulling and shifting until we’re both topless and pressed against each other again. Bo rolls us so I’m on my back and he’s between my legs.
“They’re really sensitive now,” I whisper, holding my tits as he pulls my shorts and underwear off.
Bo lifts my foot onto his shoulder and begins kissing his way down the inside of my leg. “In a good way?” he asks, nibbling at the side of my knee, watching my hands eagerly.
“In a great way,” I say, plucking my nipples. “In a way where I’ve been imagining you touching them every night.”
Bo’s smile turns heated, his eyes locked in on my tits as he wets his lips. He continues kissing the inside of my thigh, holding my leg over his shoulder as he makes his way down to my centre. He brings his other hand to my breast, his palm covering the peaked flesh and squeezing indelicately.
He pulls away, holding my calf with both hands as he shakes his head, his eyes skimming over every part of my body. “God, I can’t decide where to start. I’ve missed your body so much. I wish I had more hands.”
I raise a brow, and he nods, his lips tight. “Heard it.”
“We’ve got time,” I reply breathlessly. “But touch me somewhere.”
Bo nods, lowering himself to the floor at the side of the bed.
He reaches across the mattress, the tendons in his arms flaring as he grabs the extra flesh of my hips and uses it to pull me to the edge.
I yelp, biting my lip as I smile down at him, grateful for his roughness.
“I’ve decided,” he whispers, biting the opposite thigh as he parts my legs with his hands.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Good decision…”
He laughs darkly with his mouth against my core. Then he swipes his tongue expertly from my wet entrance to my clit.
I cry out, covering my mouth with my forearm. “Yes,” I say. “Right there.”
He sucks and flicks his tongue against that same spot until I’m panting, gripping the sheets and his hair. Unwinding into a complete, utter mess.
Removing his mouth, he presses two fingers inside me and curls them, tapping in an achingly perfect rhythm. I match each motion with uncontrollable gasps and squeaks and moans. “Oh my god,” I moan, baring my teeth as pressure builds.
“Fuck yes…” Bo’s voice is low and steady, in complete contrast to how I feel, floating above it all. “Do you have any clue how sexy you are? How sweet you taste? How much I’ve been thinking about you like this?”
I whine, biting my bottom lip as I try to will myself closer to that sweet oblivion.
“I’ve thought about hearing my name come out of those perfect lips every fucking night since I heard you from down the hall. Please, Win. Please. Say my name.”
“Bo,” I say like a promise. “Bo,” I force out from the hollow of my chest. “Fuck me,” I beg. “Please,” I whine, thrashing backward.
“Not yet, honey. Not until you come on my fingers first. I’m fucking dying to. Trust me. But I need this from you first. Need to watch you.” He places a hand on the swell of my stomach as his eyes grow hooded. “I was obsessed with your body before, but now, I think… I think I’m a goner. Look at you. Fucking perfect.”
“I’m… I’m close,” I say, my jaw clenching as my legs fight to close. Bo pins my knee down with his shoulder, keeping me open for him as I begin to shake.
“That’s right, honey. Come for me. Please.”
I come so hard I hear a ringing in my ears, my body taught and contracted and spasming all over. I scream around my wrist, silencing myself as best as I can.
Once my body stills and my breaths slow, Bo starts tenderly kissing my throbbing sex. It’s almost too much, but I press my lips together and force myself to relax into it.
Bo whimpers alongside little throaty sounds of greed as he laps up every single bit of my release. “God, you taste so fucking good,” he grinds out before gently kissing my clit one last time, sending a shock of overstimulation through my system.
“Show me,” I offer, rolling my neck to see him. “Kiss me,” I say, wearing a satisfied smile.
“Gladly,” Bo says, using his arms to help lift himself off the ground.
I rotate myself, lying lengthways on the bed, and make room for him to lie down next to me. Once he’s settled, I drape myself across his chest and kiss him leisurely.
“My favourite thing in the world,” he says against my lips, swiping his thumb across my cheek, then trailing a lazy finger down my neck to my chest, where he taps the space between my breasts, coloured pink. “I was scared I’d never get to see this type of blush from you again.”
I lean down to kiss him again. He grips the side of my face as I nibble his bottom lip, pulling it between my teeth and releasing only when I lift away, pressing my forehead into his. I groan in frustration, angry that I can’t be nearer than this.
“I wish I could…” I say, not knowing where I want that sentence to end. What I mean is I want him inside me. But not only in the way he will inevitably be soon. But burned inside of me. Like lightning hitting a tree and starting a fire from within. I want him, his life, his lessons, his soul and its impressions to be branded under my skin. “Eat you” are the closest words I can find.
“That’s frowned upon, honey.” Bo says as I lift a leg over his lap to straddle him.
“Would you let me?” I ask as he grips my lower back, then lowers his hands to the globes of my ass, his fingers digging into my flesh. “If I asked nicely?”
“You know I would,” he says, laughing.
I bend down and kiss him some more, my nipples grazing against his chest in the most incredible way.
“Turn around for me,” Bo says, his teeth against my jaw. “I want you to lower yourself onto me, then lean back against me, okay?”
I nod, repositioning myself. Bo’s hand wraps around my waist as he sits up underneath me. He kisses across my shoulder, pushing his forehead into the back of my head as I raise up onto my knees and sink onto the length of him.
“Fuck,” I whisper, my lips parting on a ragged inhale. No matter how many times I replayed the memory of our night together, I knew, deep down, it was never close to the real thing. Nothing could have prepared me for how incredible it would feel again.
“Win…” Bo moans, his voice breathless. “How is it even better this time?”
“Because now we’re us,” I reply, whispering through a thick fog of desire.
I do as I’m told and lean back against his chest. Bo’s arms wrap me in a tight embrace, one hand reaching across my abdomen, holding me there. The other has a tight grip on my breast. I use my shins and knees pressed into the mattress to roll against him. “Like this?”
Bo hisses, his teeth on my ear. “Yes,” he says sharply. “Fucking hell…” He slowly lowers his hand from my stomach to between my legs, spreading goose bumps in his wake.
“Too much,” I say as he begins playing with my clit, my movements jittery. “I can’t move while you’re doing that. It’s too good.”
“Then don’t move,” he commands sternly. “I need to feel you come around my dick before I lose my fucking mind.”
“Bo,” I hiccup, bringing my hand up to play with my breast. “I’m so full…” I say, feeling myself twitch and tighten around him. I roll my neck back, letting the back of my head fall against his collarbone.
“That’s it, honey. Relax. I’ve got you,” he says, the corner of his lips against my forehead.
I begin rotating my hips in small, circular motions, my ass pressing into Bo’s abdomen.
Bo moans, broken and gruff with warm breath across my hairline.
“Can you come with me?” I ask, swallowing tightly, feeling a bead of sweat trickle down past my shoulder blades.
Bo laughs once, without much humour to it at all. “Win, that’s all I’ve been trying not to do.”
“Please,” I beg. “Please, I’m close. I want to. Together.”
Bo applies more pressure to my clit, keeping his movement consistent as I continue rotating my hips. He presses his nose into my hair, breathing me in deeply as he whimpers again.
“It’s so good,” he says, his voice in a near whine.
“Almost…” I say, gasping.
“Almost,” he repeats raggedly.
“Yes,” I gasp.
Bo grunts, pumping into me from below.
My stomach tenses as I feel the anticipatory drop, my heart skipping a beat before my body’s overcome with pleasure. “Now,” I cry out around shaky breaths.
“Win,” Bo says, parting my name into two syllables. Then I feel his warmth spill into me, sending me further into bliss.
I tremble against him, and his hold tightens all around me.
“Shit,” he groans out before collapsing backward, taking me with him. His back falls onto the mattress as I fall onto him. The sweat that has been dripping down my back meets the hot flesh of his abdomen underneath me.
“Wow,” I say, catching my breath, pressing my ear to his neck. His heart’s beating almost as fast as mine.
Bo laughs, just once. “Damn.”
“Yeah,” I agree, smiling to myself, my eyes drifting closed with every exhale.
I feel his heavy breaths under my back and bring my hands up over my head to touch his face. “Amazing work, honey.” I throw the nickname back to him as I pat his cheek.
“Who said I was done?” he asks mockingly, lifting his hips and reminding me that he’s still very much inside me and growing harder by the second. “I’ve been waiting for this… honey.”
