Oh, shit…oh, shit…oh, shit. I gripped the sink and rocked forward. I hadn’t meant for that to happen, hadn’t meant for it to go that far. I’d fucked it all up. I’d…fucked…up. My core throbbed and pulsed, swollen and aching. Needing like I’d never needed before. It was this house and these men. It was London…
London had caused this.
London, and now Colt.
Their fucking mouths, their tongues in my…
“Idiot,” I whimpered as that desire bloomed like a deadly flower once more.
Goddammit.
I closed my eyes. This will ruin them. This will fucking destroy—
A touch dragged along my arm and made me wrench my eyes open to find movement beside me. I unleashed a scream, stumbled backwards, and slammed into the wall. My head impacted with a crack! But he was there, filling up my bathroom, all magnetizing blue eyes and thick, dark curly hair.
Horror flared in his eyes as he lunged, grabbed me by my arm, and yanked me forward. I slammed into the brick wall that was his chest and was pinned there as he probed with those big fingers along the back of my head and my shoulder.
“I’m okay,” I muttered, and pulled back. “I’m okay.” He just stood there, watching me as I shook my head. “You don’t have to worry about me. You don’t have to…”
Then I saw what was in his hand.
A sheet.
With tiny blotches of bright red blood.
I turned away instantly as my cheeks burned, and stared at the wall. My throat thickened and pinpricks of pain flared through my head. Then there was that warm touch again as he slid his hand along my arm and reached up, captured my chin, and turned my gaze toward him.
Heat burned in my cheeks. I just wanted to crawl into a hole as I forced the words. “It’s not a big deal.”
There was a scowl. Pain flared in his eyes as he slowly shook his head and quietly murmured. “It is to me.”
My heart thundered. Too loud. Too fast. The bloody sheet was in his clenched grip. It all meant too much to me at that moment. Him. Them. Everything.
“Our,” he murmured. “Secret.”
Our secret? What did that mean?
He took a step forward and slid his hand around the back of my neck and tilted my gaze to his. Our secret. Those blue eyes raged. I knew then…I knew he was more than my guardian in the night, he was now my lover…he was mine.
He lowered his head, closed his eyes, and kissed me.
I’d never felt something so pure, so tender, so…real.
When he pulled back, he brushed his thumb along my cheek. I stared up at him as I felt the thunder of hooves in my chest and whispered. “Oh shit.”
There was a curl at the corner of his mouth. He knew. He knew because he felt it too. A slow nod, and he dropped his hand, then the silent asshole turned around and left me standing like I’d just been blindsided by a blow I hadn’t seen coming.
One that was as silent as the night.
And just as fucking deadly.
My bedroom door closed with a thud as he left me to stand there and try to remember how to breathe. He wasn’t going to tell. I stepped back, then glanced at my empty bedroom and the closed door before I undressed and stepped into the shower.
I’d just had sex…
I’d just had…sex.
It hadn’t been how I’d thought it would be. The pain and the sting I’d expected. The panic, even I’d known that would come. But him…he wasn’t what I’d expected at all, nor the way the rush stayed with me even now, or the way I could still feel him, his terror, his pain…his utter devotion.
I washed and scrubbed, then stepped out and dried myself, but when I walked into my bedroom, London was there. I froze as I watched him stride out of the walk-in closet carrying a pair of black slacks and a red top. I stared at the color, then lifted my gaze to his. Red. He’d never asked me to wear red.
“Get dressed” he murmured. “We’ve been summoned back to The Order.”
Cold plunged all the way deep inside me and tore away the moment of happiness. “The Order…no.”
He straightened, then lifted that stony stare my way. “You do this, and they sign the contract. You become…mine.”
Become his?
My heart thundered, slammed by happiness, fear, desire, and above all, uncertainty.
He took a step toward me, but there was no kindness in his eyes. Just the same cruel hardness he’d had last night. “If you don’t do this, they will come and take you back for good.”
“But you paid…”
“It’s an interim contract, Vivienne. This summons is…a good thing. If you want that after what’s just happened.”
I searched his gaze. “This is what you want?”
He didn’t answer, just took a step backwards and went to the door. “I’ll be downstairs waiting.”
I’ll be downstairs? He hadn’t answered, but I still heard the thud he left behind as I glared at the clothes waiting for me. Red. He wanted me to wear red. My hands shook as I stepped closer and grabbed the soft satin top, knowing exactly what that meant.
If he wanted me to wear it, then I would. After all, that’s what he’d paid for, right?
I dressed in the clothes he wanted and slipped on the shoes he’d bought. I brushed my hair and put on light makeup, the ones he’d chosen for me, and made my way downstairs.
He didn’t look my way as he waited in the kitchen. But Colt was there in the doorway to the dining room, which drew my gaze to that glass-topped table. I swallowed hard and looked away, but I saw the tortured stare of my silent protector. He looked tortured and terrified all at once. But he didn’t make a move to stop me. He held my stare for a second and gave a careful nod when I walked past him as I followed London out to the car.
No words were spoken when I climbed into the Mercedes, pulled the seatbelt across, and latched it. He just started the engine, put the car into gear, and drove. I didn’t see the streets or the cars. I didn’t see a damn thing as we left our home behind and drove through the city streets.
By the time we were out the other side of the traffic and headed toward the towering trees in the distance, I could have cut the air with a knife. My thoughts turned to this morning and my pulse raced. I clenched my jaw and looked out the window.
London finally spoke. “I don’t need to remind you how important this is.”
I jerked my gaze to his, to see that same cold stare fixed on the road in front of us. “Important for you or for me?”
He swung that careful gaze my way, but he didn’t answer. Something had changed between us and it wasn’t even this morning. It had started last night at the warehouse. Was he starting to think he’d chosen the wrong woman from The Order? Maybe being here might give him an opportunity to find a Plan Fucking B.
I turned away, saw the towering steel fence of The Order, and tightened my grip on the seatbelt. The closer we got, the colder London became. My heart leaped into the back of my throat as we pulled up at the guard hut outside the gates and all of a sudden, I had the urge to run.
My hand went to the door handle, but London reached out and placed his hand on my thigh.
“Thank you,” he spoke to the guard and hit the button to shut the window.
He didn’t move his hand as he drove through the gates and headed toward the building. The warmth of his touch seemed to permeate my panic. But when he turned the wheel into the parking area in front of the building, he pulled his hand back. “They can’t know. You get that, right?” he murmured as he stared straight ahead. “They can’t know, or they’ll take you away from me.”
Take you away from me.
The world felt far too small. The car doors pressed in, crushing me. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but feel the terror wash through me. He was so cold to me. Did that mean he was just as scared? I searched that unflinching stare before he broke the connection and climbed out. “They’ll be watching our every move,” he murmured.
Heat lashed my cheeks as it hit me. I followed, closed the door behind me, and went toward the pit of Hell itself. How should I act here? What should I say? I didn’t need to worry, as London met me behind the car, gripped the back of my arm, and steered me toward the front door as it opened and The Principal stepped out.
“Say nothing unless spoken to,” his whisper reached me as we neared the stairs. “And whatever you do, do…not…react.”
My stomach rolled as The Principal headed toward us. He didn’t look at me, barely even noticed I was there. His sole focus was on London.
“St. James.”
“Cruz,” London answered coldly. “How long will this take?”
The answer was a twitch at the corner of his mouth as he stepped to the side and motioned for the open door. “Let’s find out, shall we?”
My steps stuttered as I stared into the empty foyer. My heart smashed against my chest as that urge to run for my fucking life became overwhelming…until a brush came at the back of my arm. The touch was so slight, no one else could see it.
But I’d felt it.
The slow slide of his thumb let me know I wasn’t here alone. As The Principal turned and headed for the door, London met my gaze. I’m right here, those unflinching dark eyes whispered. I saw in that second, he was just as scared.
Because if this went wrong, then there was no coming back from this…
For me…
And them.
