thirty seconds before I scooped her into my arms. In my thirty-one years on this planet, I’d never known my heart could break so instantly or that such a tiny being would be capable of doing it.
But as quickly as she’d broken my heart, she gave me new life.
Pulling back, my baby girl gazed at me, little teardrops clinging to the long lashes surrounding her big, brown eyes. Then, without warning, she dove into my neck, squirming her tiny body closer and closer.
Holy Christ, I’d almost broken down in my own tears.
And then my Catherine decided to challenge my heart a little more. She’d strung colorful bunting in the living room that said, “Welcome Home, Elliot,” and had made a cake with the same message.
Never…
No one…
Only her.
The three of us kept each other close for the remainder of the day. Even while Catherine was nursing, Joey made sure I was there, reaching for my finger to hold.
It took some coaxing to convince her to go to sleep for the night, but once she did, Catherine and I snuggled together in the study, a habit we’d formed before my trip.
I stroked her hair between my fingers, my limbs and eyelids growing heavy as I relaxed. I was fighting off sleep just as hard as Joey had, not wanting to miss a second with Catherine.
“I’ll be here in the morning, you know,” she murmured.
“Shhh. Let me be in charge of my sleep schedule.”
She snorted. “If you fall asleep in here, I won’t be able to carry you to bed.”
I opened my eyes, laughing at the image. I was more than a foot taller than her. She’d have to drag me. But she was capable of anything, so I wouldn’t put it past her.
“I liked my welcome home, sweetheart.”
She smiled before touching her lips to mine. “You mentioned that.”
“It needed to be reiterated.”
“You’re welcome. It made me happy to do it and even happier to see your reaction.” She pressed on my chest, sitting up a little, her eyes alight. “Which was your favorite part? The decorations or the celebration in the limo?”
“All of it. I’ve never had anyone waiting at the airport for me, much less with a cute sign and a wet pussy.”
She burst out laughing, and the tinkling, delighted sound woke me up a little more. I planned to make it my mission to keep her laughing like that. Making her happy filled a cold, shriveled part of me I hadn’t noticed had been empty until her.
“You were saying some crazy things in the back of the limo,” she said.
“Mmm. Not crazy if you liked it.” I pressed my thumb to her plump bottom lip. “And from how tight you squeezed my cock, I think you liked it.”
Her tongue darted out to lick her lip, getting my thumb too. “I didn’t expect it, but yes, I liked it. The talk part. Getting pregnant while I still have a small baby sounds like a nightmare.”
“With you, it wouldn’t be a nightmare.” I kissed her cheek, then the corner of her mouth. “But for now, it’s just talk.”
“Really hot talk.”
Reaching down, I adjusted my half-hard cock in my sweats. “I wish I had more energy, sweetheart. I would love nothing more than to spread you out in my bed and tell you all the ways I’m going to fill you up.”
Her palm slid along my jaw. “I would love that too, but you need rest, and to be honest, so do I.”
“You didn’t sleep well when I was gone, did you?”
She shook her head. “No, it seems I’ve gotten used to you. Cuddling a pillow didn’t cut it.”
I heaved a sigh like I was burdened. “All right. If you’re going to insist, I’ll hold you all night long. Let’s go.”
We still had to talk about the Liam situation, but that would wait until tomorrow. For now, I was taking my girl to bed.
I was staring blindly at the computer screen in my home office, trying not to think about what was going on in the den, but it was impossible.
When I’d told Catherine about my visit to Liam, she hadn’t been pleased, to say the least.
“You spoke to Liam? Without consulting me first?”
“I did what I had to do to protect you, sweetheart.”
“And I appreciate that. I really do, but Elliot, you can’t go rogue like that. Not when it comes to my daughter.”
She hadn’t stayed angry at me long, though. Quickly, it had cycled to fear then determination as she’d swiped up her phone and gone to another room to call him in private.
The last hour, I’d sat in my office, holding my breath and cursing every fucking second that passed. I had no control here. No power. I could only wait to find out the outcome, which would happen without my input.
My advice would have been to communicate through lawyers, but she hadn’t asked.
This wasn’t how I’d thought it would go. I knew she’d be pissed at me for speaking to Liam without running it by her. I also knew she’d get over it. The rest had come as a complete shock.
If I’d predicted what Catherine would do, it would have been to tell William van der Wyck to get bent, not initiate a phone call behind closed doors.
I never saw this coming.
Catherine appeared in my doorway, clutching her phone in her hand. She circled my desk and tossed her phone down beside my mouse. I swiveled to face her, surprised but extremely pleased when she sat down sideways in my lap and nestled into the crook of my neck.
“Good talk?” I forced out the question through the melting wax dripping down my throat. “Must’ve been. You were in there for a while.”
“Our phone call lasted ten minutes. I’ve been sorting my thoughts the rest of the time.”
I wanted to demand answers, but it wasn’t my place. This was about her daughter and her daughter’s father. Not me.
So, I waited.
She sucked in a breath. “I told him all about Joey. Her milestones, how she’s sleeping, who she looks like, that kind of thing. He said he was glad we were doing well and apologized.”
“Do you believe him?”
A shrug. “I don’t know. He might be sorry, but he doesn’t love her, so he doesn’t really get how sorry he should be.”
But I do.
She went on. “He says he’s going to come here next week to meet her. He actually emailed me his flight information once we were off the phone, so I think he really meant it. Oh, and he sent me the money he stole from me. Fudging asshole.”
My heart slammed then stuttered to a stop. During my conversation with Liam, I never truly believed he’d had an interest in Joey, nor had I imagined in my wildest dreams he’d book a flight to meet her, that he’d want a relationship with her.
Out of my control.
“How do you feel about that?” I asked.
“I don’t know. She’s technically his too, so if he wants a relationship with her, I should encourage it, but I…I guess she doesn’t feel like she’s his. She’s mine and—” She cut herself off, shifting in my lap. “She’s mine.”
I slid my palm down her arm to take her hand in mine, going through the motions though my head was miles away. “She is yours. You’re not going to ever lose her.”
That was a fact. No matter what happened, I would never allow anything to separate Cathrine from her daughter, not even the father of her child.
“Thanks to you.” Sitting up, she brought my hand to her mouth and kissed my knuckles, but I didn’t feel much of anything. “I would be freaking out times a thousand if you hadn’t gone to him like you had. And I know my knee-jerk reaction was to say you overstepped—which you definitely did—but in this case, I can only say thank you for being you and taking control. I would be floundering without you.”
“You would have figured it out, Catherine. You didn’t need me to do it.”
Out of my control.
“Sure. I would have ignored the problem until it had fallen down around me. Like my house.” She tugged on my shirt. “Which reminds me, will you come to the house with me tomorrow? I want to show you how good it looks. I’m pretty proud of all I’ve accomplished.”
I wanted to burn that house to the ground with Liam inside it.
But I nodded, blood roaring in my ears. My fingertips were numb, and my chest was in a vise. I recognized panic for what it was, remembering these feelings from when my mother was alive.
“Tomorrow.” I patted the outside of her leg, needing her up and out of here so I could catch my breath and think critically. Panicking would get me nowhere. “I have some work to do, so…”
“Oh.” She straightened. “Oh, okay. I’ll let you get to that.”
She walked out of my office, looking back twice. I should have said more. Reassured her in some way. But I wasn’t there.
I was losing my dad.
My mom.
In chaos.
The reins were slipping from my hands.
Joey wasn’t mine.
Catherine didn’t live here.
Out of my control.
This was why I didn’t do this. I didn’t open up to more people than I had to because I couldn’t control the outcome. Business made sense. I could predict market fluctuations. People weren’t so easy. Falling in love didn’t guarantee she would stay or even fall too.
Now that I had them, I wasn’t willing to lose Catherine or Joey, but I had to get my head straight. If I didn’t accept that I couldn’t control everything, I wouldn’t be good for either of them.
Catherine’s house was beautiful.
I hadn’t seen it since she’d started working on it. In fact, she had forbidden me from coming, wanting it to be a surprise.
And it was.
The new wood floors gleamed. The walls were freshly painted and crisp. She had a kitchen. A really nice kitchen.
With Joey in one arm and my hand clasped in hers, she pulled me through the house, enthusiastically detailing everything that had been done, pointing out how Miles had helped, what Raymond’s cousin had done, the projects she’d worked on with Raymond and Davida.
“I tiled that backsplash, Elliot. Me.” She beamed, her cheeks glowing rosy.
“Amazing.”
It was. She’d put her all into fixing this place up, literally dirtying her own hands to bring these walls back to livable conditions. More than livable. A nice family home.
It made me sick.
She looked so fucking pleased, and I couldn’t bring myself to match her enthusiasm.
But if she wanted this, I’d give it to her, even if it killed me to let them go. Catherine had to make the right choices for her and Joey, and if she thought living on her own was it, I wouldn’t stand in her way.
Her smile wavered. “Let’s go upstairs. Maybe you’ll be suitably impressed with my bedroom.”
“I’m impressed already, sweetheart. You wanted this, so you made it happen.”
She kissed my knuckles. “Without any help from you. Don’t you appreciate your independent girlfriend? If it weren’t so cringe, I’d call myself a girl boss.”
“Ah, good thing you told me it was cringe. I’ll return the girl boss mug I bought you.”
Her teeth nipped at my knuckles. “Don’t joke about that, Elliot Levy. That’s not funny.”
“It’s rose gold,” I teased, but my heart wasn’t in it. Not even a little bit. I felt like I was losing her and she was right fucking here.
I had to get over it. Give her the life she wanted. If it was this, she’d have it.
Puffing her cheeks, she released a heavy breath. “You know how much I love rose gold, but no.” Another kiss on my knuckles. “Come on. Let’s go check out the rest of the place.”
With my hand in hers, I followed like a dead man walking.
