with being unwanted, I was always vigilant for the signs.
Disinterest.
Loss of affection.
Sudden silence.
Impatience.
I’d been so eager and proud to show Elliot my almost-finished house, and he stalked through like he couldn’t wait to be out.
That was after barely speaking to me the night before when I’d kind of needed his support. I was scared of what would happen when Liam showed up and had thought I’d made that clear, but Elliot had stayed locked in his home office until long after I’d gone to sleep. Only then had he slid into bed with me.
I’d woken sometime around one a.m. to him holding me in his sleep and had watched him dream. He’d been restless, his mouth moving, muscles twitching, and had finally settled when I’d tangled my legs with his and scooted closer, our bodies flush.
It’d made me feel so good to be the one who could settle him, and I’d thought maybe we were okay.
But the distance returned this morning and hadn’t closed.
The primary bedroom was the last stop. I’d painted it dove gray and hung up some of my art from Mexico that had been in storage.
I gestured to the painting above the bed. “This is by the same artist who did my thigh tattoos.”
He nodded, staring at the painting like he wanted to burn it to a crisp. “Looks good up there. This will be a nice room to wake up in every day. Close to Josephine’s room.”
“It is.” I jiggled her on my hip as she looked around at all the new sights. “Though she’s only ever napped in there. She slept in here with me.”
“She’ll need her crib soon.”
“Yeah. We have to figure that out.” It made me nervous, but it was probably time to give her her own space.
He looked around, nodding. “You did a lot in a short time.”
“I know. A lot of it’s thanks to Miles really narrowing down exactly what needed to be done. I bow to his planning skills,” I quipped, but Elliot barely reacted.
It seemed his mind was elsewhere, just like it had been last night.
We walked down to the living room, and I placed Joey on a pile of blankets with a couple toys. She happily lazed on her back, gumming a rattle.
Elliot toed the ratty couch. “You should probably replace this.”
I scrunched my nose. “I know. It fit when this place was a hovel, but now it looks like it snuck in from the trash pile.”
When we’d begun reno, I’d been thinking I’d be moving back here at the end. But over the last month, my mindset had changed, and I’d started to think I was fixing this place up to sell. The paint I’d chosen was neutral, and I’d talked to Ray and Davida about borrowing some furniture to stage a couple rooms for pictures.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
Elliot hadn’t asked me to stay or brought it up at all, and he was showing all the signs I had become hyperaware of as a teenager.
Plus, I really needed to stand on my own. Elliot had done so much, even flying to Australia to deal with Liam—which I was deeply embarrassed about. What kind of man wanted to deal with his girlfriend’s…well, baby daddy was the only term for it.
God. No wonder he’s pulling away.
Elliot’s hands were in his pockets instead of on me. “Seems like it’s pretty much finished.”
“Yeah. There’s some tile work that isn’t done in the upstairs bathroom, but it’s basically done. I’m pretty prou—”
“When will you be moving back here?”
My mouth slammed shut, and my heart went boom, shaking me down to my core.
He raised an expectant brow, waiting for my answer. I thought about what Davida would say…what she’d been saying all along. That Joey and I needed our own space. It was fine and dandy to fall in love, but having a home base that was only mine made the most sense.
“Well, I could move back here anytime, really. Obviously, I didn’t want to do it while you were gone, but…”
Tell me to stay. Please tell me and I will.
His jaw rippled. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I nodded, the pieces of my exploded heart fluttering like confetti. “I guess there’s no time like the present.”
This was the right thing to do. Moving back here didn’t mean we were breaking up, even though it felt like it at the moment.
Most couples didn’t live together so early in the relationship. This was a good thing. We’d both have some breathing room and when we saw each other at work and maybe on date nights, it would be even more exciting.
This was for the best.
It was right.
We’d both be happier this way.
And if Elliot really was pulling away from me, I’d already have my lovely home to live in and nurse my shredded fucking heart.
“Efficient,” Elliot muttered. “Right, well, I have to head to the office for a few hours. I’ll take you back to my place so you can pack your things. Anything big I can bring later.”
I straightened my shoulders and put on a shiny smile. “That sounds like a plan. Let’s get going.”
I could be brave. This was a good thing.
Joey and I had been happy living with Elliot, but we would be happy here too. We would make memories, and if we were lucky, Elliot would be part of a lot of them. But if he wasn’t, if he really wanted out, we’d still have each other.
