IT’S A TUESDAY. The one day where Cam gets out of class early and I wait for him in his room at his apartment because Knox won’t be there. Cam rushes home from his class and we mess around for an hour before he goes to practice.
It is the best hour, ever. I enjoy myself immensely. The clever things the man comes up with to do to me in such a limited amount of time…
My body trembles just at the thought.
Since that game a few weeks ago, Cam and I have seen each other as much as possible, but have not clued anyone in on what we’re doing. It’s hard, keeping it a secret. I want to tell Knox. I want to tell everyone, but Cam isn’t ready. Why, I don’t know, and if I think about it too much, I get mad.
And that’s…that’s bad.
Especially because my parents are coming to this weekend’s game and I would love to tell them that Cam is my boyfriend. Even though we haven’t defined exactly what we’re doing, I don’t know how else to describe it. My hook-up partner? My booty call? No one says it’s a booty call anymore.
I’m at a loss.
I hear the front door open and close, and seconds later, Cam is opening his bedroom door, a smile on his beautiful face. He shuts it behind him and crosses his arms, watching me.
“Hi.” I wave at him.
“What are you doing?” He makes his way toward the bed, his steps slow. Methodical.
“Waiting for you.” I tuck the comforter closer to my body, only my arms and shoulders exposed. “Naked.”
“Just the way I like you.” He leans in, nuzzling the side of my face before finding my mouth, kissing me hard. I drown in his lips for a moment, pulling away to tug at the hem of his sweatshirt.
“Take your clothes off.”
With a chuckle he does exactly that, slipping beneath the comforter with me, rolling me over onto my back, so he can kiss me.
Devour me.
I let him, kissing him in return, letting my hands roam all over his bare skin. It’s like this for a few minutes, until he becomes impatient and starts issuing orders, which always work in my favor.
“Get on your hands and knees.”
I get into position, wriggling my ass at him, yelping when he gives it a light slap. He soothes the sting with his palm, then bends over and drops a kiss on the spot where he smacked me.
I feel the touch of his lips on my skin to my very core, making me quiver.
The last couple of times we’ve had sex, we’ve included him fucking me from behind in our roster, and oh God, it feels so damn good, how deep he gets. How easily I come when he slams into me again and again.
When he finally slides inside me, I suck in a deep breath, savoring the feel of him buried so deep. His thick cock pulsing inside me, making me shiver all over. I remain still, hanging my head, taking in the moment like I always seem to do. He does the same, his big hands kneading my flesh, all the encouragement I need to start moving.
It’s his turn to stay still as I slide up and down his cock, slow at first, gasping at the friction, how my body drags along his shaft, eventually picking up speed. Until he grips my hips hard and slams into me, that guaranteed orgasm hovering in the near distance, making me reach for it…
I cry out his name the moment it hits me, falling forward so I can whimper into the pillow in front of me, clutching it to my face while he continues to fuck me. Another orgasm builds, this one smaller but still intense, and when it’s all over, I collapse onto the bed with Cam wrapping me up in his arms, my face pressed against his chest so I can feel his thundering heart.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually find me dead on a Tuesday,” he says once he’s caught his breath. “You right next to me. Dead as well.”
“What are you talking about?” I lightly slap his chest, hating the visual.
“I mean that if we keep this up, I don’t know how we’re going to survive it.” He kisses my forehead. “I have news.”
I frown. “What is it?”
“There’s no practice today. Some sort of coaches’ meeting is happening instead and they told us about it at the last minute.” He smiles down at me when I tilt my head up to look at him. “I’m free for the rest of the afternoon.”
“That’s great,” I breathe. “But what about Knox?”
“What about him?”
“Is he coming home eventually too?”
“Oh yeah. Probably.” Cam’s gaze turns distant and I wish I could read his mind.
Or maybe I don’t want to know what he’s thinking. I’m not sure.
Eventually we climb out of bed and get dressed, Cam protesting that he’s hungry. We put together a snack in the kitchen for him and I join him on the couch, where he turns on some action movie that he cranks up the volume on, leaning back against the couch to eat his nachos, flashing me a smirk every once in a while.
“What is your deal?” I finally have to ask him.
“Life is good, you know? Got you sitting by my side after banging our brains out. Eating nachos. Catching up on the Fast and Furious franchise. No practice. I can’t complain.” He holds his arm out to me and I snuggle in close, leaning my head on his chest.
Thinking of all the things I could complain about, though I keep my mouth shut.
It’s starting to get to me, all the sneaking around. He acts like he’s totally into me, but he doesn’t seem in any hurry to let people know we’re even together.
Specifically, my brother.
How hard is it, to just come clean and tell Knox the truth? I’m getting to the point where if Cam doesn’t do it, I will. I’m not scared of Knox. He’s all show anyway. He’ll put up a fit, yell that Cam isn’t good enough for me but then eventually settle down. Then we’ll be able to move on and actually be in a public relationship.
But Cam doesn’t take the initiative. He always puts it off. And I’m growing impatient.
Like the I want to smack him, kind of impatient.
The movie bores me and I start to drift off to sleep at one point, when suddenly Cam sits up, causing me to practically fall off his chest, rousing me.
“Knox is on his way home.” He leaps to his feet and starts gathering up the mess we left behind on the coffee table after eating our snacks, gathering the empty soda cans. “Maybe you should…”
“What, you want me to go?” I stand, brushing my hair out of my face, the annoyance growing as he dashes about the apartment, looking to trash any evidence that shows he might not be alone. “I’m so tired of this.”
He takes everything to the kitchen and dumps it in the trash. “Tired of what?”
“Being your secret.”
He enters the living room, a little slower this time, resting his hands on his hips. “I don’t think now is exactly the right time to tell him.”
“There will never be a better time.” I throw my hands up in the air, exasperated. “This is getting old, Cam. I feel like I don’t matter to you as much as you matter to me.”
Cam stares at me, as if he needs a moment to allow the words I just said to him to sink in. “Give me—just give me a couple more days, okay?”
“How many more days do you need?”
“I don’t know. I definitely don’t want to tell him right now.” The pleading look he sends me has my heart cracking. Ugh, I need to be stronger. “But don’t leave yet. Go hide out in my room for a few.”
“This is ridiculous.” I grab my phone and march into Cam’s room, shutting and locking the door behind me before I flop onto the bed and stare at the ceiling.
I’m fuming. This is not how I imagined my relationship with Cam playing out. He’s being a complete wuss if he can’t explain to my brother that we’re two consenting adults and if we want to see each other, there’s nothing he can do about it.
Nothing.
Instead of lying on the bed and waiting him out, I eventually creep toward the door and press my ear against it, straining to hear Knox and Cam’s conversation when I hear my brother arrive at the apartment. Of course, I can’t hear anything, but a few chuckles, and Knox saying the name Joanna once or twice. Of course. He’s completely sprung over her and in love and doesn’t give a damn who knows about it.
I envy him that.
Eventually I hear a door shut and then there’s a soft knock sounding on Cam’s bedroom door before he jiggles the handle. “Let me in.”
I turn the lock and step back, crossing my arms the moment he strides in, shutting the door behind him.
“Where’s Knox?”
“Taking a shower.”
“Did you tell him?” I already know the answer. I don’t know why I even bother asking.
“No, of course not. When am I supposed to fit that into our conversation when he just came home? ‘Oh hey, bro. By the way, Blair is in my room and we just fucked. We’re together now. Hope you’re cool with it.’”
“God, you’re crude.” I drop my arms and march past him, opening the door and exiting the bedroom with Cam hot on my heels.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
I whirl on him, poking his chest with my index finger. “I’m leaving. And I’m not coming back until you tell him that we’re doing—whatever it is we’re doing.”
“See, you can’t even define it.”
“Because you won’t let me!” I practically yell, taking a deep breath to calm myself. I don’t need to cause a scene and bring Knox back out here. “This is dumb.”
“Just be patient with me for a little bit longer, okay? I’ll take care of this with Knox. I swear.”
Collapsing on the couch, I lean my head back, staring at the ceiling. Contemplating all the ways I could torture this man. Withholding sex from him might work, though what if it doesn’t? And how petty is that? I don’t want us to play games with each other. That is not the answer.
Sneaking around and continuing to do what we’re doing now is definitely not the answer either. I know it isn’t, but if I cut him off, I’ll only be hurting myself too.
And I don’t want to do that. I may think Cam is weak when it comes to admitting we’re together, but I’m weak too when it comes to him.
“Bumblebee, don’t be sad.” He settles onto the couch next to me. Reaching for me. I try to resist, remaining in place, but the next thing I know, he’s got his hands on me, and his mouth on mine. His lips are persuasive, and so is his tongue, and I fall into his kiss, reaching for him right back.
Only to hear the front door start to open.
Shit!
We leap away from each other so fast, I don’t know even how it happened. I’m sitting there staring at the TV screen blankly, Cam just out of reach, his left arm stretching toward me, resting on the back of the couch. Both of us pretending to watch this stupid movie.
Oh yeah, we’re not obvious at all.
Joanna comes to a stop in front of the door, her delicate brows drawn together, her gaze going from Cam to me and then back to Cam. “Hey, you guys.” She waves at the both of us, all friendly-like.
I’m sure she can feel the tension hanging heavy in the air.
“Hey.” Cam keeps his gaze fixed on the TV, his expression sulky. He won’t even look at her, and the frustration boiling inside me is now threatening to show itself in the form of tears.
“Hi, Joanna,” I offer, trying not to sound as sad as I feel.
She draws closer to me, her gaze locked on my face. “How are you?”
Before I can answer her, Cam is talking.
“I’ll let you ladies chat. Knox is in the shower. He’ll be out soon.” He turns off the TV with the remote, rises from the couch, and leaves the two of us alone, slamming his bedroom door behind him a few seconds later.
What the hell?
A sigh leaves me and I shake my head. “He is such a prick.”
“He is?” Joanna sounds shocked.
I nod, letting my annoyance bleed into my words. “The worst, but please don’t mention this to Knox, okay? He doesn’t even know I’m here.”
Now Joanna seems extra confused. “He doesn’t?”
I stand, grabbing my tiny bag that’s on the coffee table in front of me that I bet money on Knox didn’t even notice, and sling the strap over my shoulder. “I need to go.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Joanna follows me all the way to the door, and I hurry my steps, desperate to get out of here.
Away from him.
“There’s nothing to talk about. And please…” I turn to face her. “Please, don’t mention this to my brother. It’s really none of his business.”
I don’t even give Joanna a chance to respond. I stride right out of the apartment, shutting the door behind me and marching my way toward my car. Not giving into my emotions until I’m sitting in the driver’s seat with the engine running.
Only then do I break down and cry.
