OH GOD. How can he ask me that right now? Here in the pizza place, surrounded by all sorts of strangers?
But what better place to ask, right? I can’t go off on him, not that I want to. There’s a new sense of calmness to Cam tonight that wasn’t there before. When we were seeing each other, sneaking around, there was always this sense of underlying urgency about him. He was anxious. Hurried.
Like he knew it was all going to blow up in his face so he had to get every second with me that he could.
Now though? He seems very…centered.
I don’t know what exactly has changed about him, but from what I see, I like it.
Do I like it enough, trust it enough to give him another chance though?
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Answer mine first.” He lifts his brows. “Please?”
It’s the please that gets me.
“Time’s almost up.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “So, you’re telling me there’s still a chance.”
“A lot depends on how you handle this.”
“Tell me what I need to do.” He sits up straighter, paying close attention, like I’m the teacher and he’s the student.
“I love that you’re working on yourself.” I slide back into the booth, running straight into him since he scooted farther across the bench after I vacated it, and now that I’m back, he doesn’t move. Meaning I’m pressed right up against him. All that warm, solid muscle smashed into me is enough to leave me lightheaded. “I was afraid you were going to drown yourself in alcohol and women after my—blow up.”
“There is no other woman for me,” he says, deadly serious.
My heart rate ratchets up. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“I mean every word I say.” He watches me, not reaching out to touch me. Not doing anything else but letting those words sink in, his gaze intense. He means it.
I can tell.
And, oh God, that leaves me feeling all giddy and fluttery inside.
Taking a deep breath, I mentally tell myself to calm down. “Before we—do this, you have to tell Knox.”
“Tell Knox what, exactly?”
“Whatever it is you feel about me. You don’t have to say it to me right now, but you need to tell Knox about us.” I hesitate. “Sooner rather than later.”
“I’ll tell him,” he readily agrees.
“You will?” I sound full of doubt.
I am full of doubt.
He nods, pushing against me like he wants me out of the booth. “Let’s go now. I’ll tell him when I get home.”
“But he just left with Joanna.”
“Pretty sure they’re going back to our place.”
Is he purposely being dense? “I think they’re going to be…involved in other activities with each other by the time you get there.”
“I’ll tell them after they have sex then,” he says, sounding perfectly logical. “When he’s all mellow and more willing to listen to me.”
“Eww.” I make a face, and he chuckles. “Maybe you should wait and tell him tomorrow.”
“Whatever. Just know that I will tell him.” He stops trying to push me out of the seat. “What else do I need to do?”
“Accept the fact that I want you for who you are and stop trying to push me away by saying you’re not good enough.” My voice is soft, and I’m hoping he doesn’t take offense. That is my biggest pet peeve with him. I don’t like how he does that. If a man keeps telling you that he’s wrong for you, then eventually, he’s only proving the point.
“I can do that too.” His gaze is imploring as he stares into my eyes. “I’ve been talking to a therapist.”
“You have?” I’m surprised. And relieved.
He nods. “Twice a week. Betty’s cool.”
“Betty?” I lift my brows.
“My therapist. She’s sixty-five and a hottie.” He starts to laugh, and I can’t help it.
I do too.
“She’s helping?”
“A lot. Look.” He angles his body more toward mine, and I wish I could snuggle with him. Press my face against his neck. Absorb his warmth. His strength. Feel those thick arms wrap around me and hold me close. “I know it hasn’t been long, only a month. And you probably think I’m a giant asshole for not contacting you these last four weeks, but I was doing everything I could to focus on me. I needed to work on that before I could work on us, you know?”
I nod, trying to fight back the tears that want to fall at his using the word ‘us.’ He notices my reaction. My trembling chin and shiny eyes probably give me away, and he makes like he’s going to reach for me, holding back at the last second. “Don’t cry, B. This is a good thing.”
“It is,” I murmur, one tear slipping down my cheek.
He gives in to his urges and stops the tear with his thumb, lingering on my skin. “Come to my game this Saturday.”
“It’s an away game.”
“So? Ride with Joanna. I want you there.” He streaks his thumb across my cheek. “I wanna see my number right there.”
“What?” I’m gasping, shocked he’d even suggest it.
“A big ol’ four on your cheek. I’ll give you a jersey with my name on the back if you want to wear it.”
“You want me to wear your jersey?” I would love to wear his jersey. And his number. I want to shout and cheer him on and not worry what other people are thinking. I want him to smile at me and tell everyone that we’re together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Acknowledgement of his love. Because, deep down, I know it’s true.
Camden Fields loves me.
His nod is slow, and he reluctantly drops his thumb from my face. “I’ll make sure it all comes together like you want it to. I’ll talk to Knox. Your dad.”
“My dad?” Oh God. I don’t think he needs to take it that far. Not yet.
“I’ll ask for permission from him to date you.”
I’m shaking my head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t?”
“No. Please don’t. They don’t need to be involved yet.” I’m not ready to deal with all that.
“They’ll be involved someday,” he says almost ominously.
A sigh leaves me and I finally give in, touching his arm. “One step at a time, okay?”
His smile is hopeful. “Wanna go back to my place?”
“Absolutely not,” I say, though my body is screaming a resounding yes.
“I had to try.” He’s smirking. Reminding me of the Cam of old. The one who flirted and tempted me all the time.
“Aren’t Knox and Joanna there?”
“It might be a great way to let them know that we’re…”
His voice drifts, and my brain fills in the word he didn’t say.
Together.
“Nope.”
“Your place then?” He won’t let up, and I appreciate his persistence.
“My roommates wish bodily harm upon you on a daily basis. I don’t think that’s the move,” I tell him.
“They know?”
I nod. Shrug. “I had to tell someone.”
“I’ll earn back their approval.” He sounds determined.
“You’re going to have to work extra hard, Camden Fields.”
His grin is devastating. “A little hard work has never scared me before, Blair Maguire. Trust me on that.”
I stare at him in wonder. “Is this really happening right now?”
“You’re in control of this entire scenario, B. I know I fucked up. I have to earn my way back into your heart,” he says, and I almost want to laugh.
Earn his way back into my heart? Doesn’t he realize he’s still there?
That he never left?
“Well, it’s working.” I shouldn’t cave, but what’s the point of torturing him any longer.
Or torturing myself? I care about him. More than that, I’m in love with him.
If he does everything he just promised, it’s going to be okay.
But he needs to come through first.
After that mind-blowing conversation, he walks me out to my car, ever the gentleman while he holds the door open for me at the restaurant’s entrance. A group of guys who are just about to enter the place offer up high fives to Cam, all of them calling out his name in greeting when they spot him, and he slaps their hands. Even poses for photos with them, smiling for the camera as they all surround him, offering their congratulations and support before they walk inside.
I just watch it all with a faint smile on my face. I even took the photos so the entire group could be in them with Cam. He’s a bit of a superstar in town and on campus, and he takes it all in stride. As I’ve told him from the beginning, I’m used to this sort of thing, thanks to my family, but then again, it’s a little different when it’s all happening to the man I’m in love with.
It feels so good, thinking like that. Again. Not going to lie, I’m wary. Who could blame me for feeling that way? I bet even Cam would want me to be wary.
But I’m also…
Happy.
This might work between us.
Maybe.
