Leaving my advisor’s office, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My grades have been rising and I’ve officially gotten my biology grade exactly where I need it to be to maintain my scholarship. Coach will be pleased because now I no longer need to worry about potentially losing game time. It was my biggest fear and it seriously feels like I can breathe now without feeling the weight of it all.
I owe it all to Aspen. There’s no way I would have been able to do it without her. And thankfully, even though my grade is up, she’s still agreed to help me the rest of the semester. God knows, if I let her get away now, I’m bound to end up failing and losing it all.
Aspen is already waiting for me in the library when I get there. In typical fashion, she has her notes and books spread out on the table. A smile touches my lips as I watch her from afar for a moment, admiring her beauty.
We haven’t really spoken since I dropped her off yesterday morning. And it wasn’t awkward between us when I gave her a ride back to her apartment. After the night that we had together, I can only imagine that she needed to rest, because I was fucking exhausted afterward.
It’s weird… this friends with benefits thing. Even though Saturday night was our first time truly crossing into the benefits area, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. And that’s not the way this arrangement is supposed to play out. No strings attached, and that includes the ones my brain is trying to fucking create.
Aspen has definitely worked her way under my skin and I’m not so sure that I like it. It feels too comfortable, like that’s exactly where she belongs, and I don’t want her to. But I don’t want her anywhere else… I don’t want her anywhere but with me.
As I walk over to the table, Aspen lifts her gaze from her notes in front of her, her eyes meeting mine as a soft smile touches her lips. “Hey,” she says quietly, her irises glimmer under the lights above.
“Hey you,” I murmur, fighting the urge to capture her plump lips with my own.
Chill the fuck out, Cam.
“Sorry that I was a few minutes late,” I tell her, glancing at my watch again before taking the seat next to her. “My meeting with my advisor ran over and I had to shower after practice so I didn’t come here smelling like disgusting hockey equipment.”
Aspen laughs lightly, turning her head to look at me. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, my senses do not detect any gross smells.”
A smirk forms on my lips as I lean back and place my arm across the back of her chair. “So, you’re saying I smell good then?”
She tilts her head to the side. “I didn’t say that. I’ve smelled the smell in your car when your bag is in there. You smell better than that, but that’s as far as I’m going with feeding your ego right now.”
“Ah, baby,” I chuckle softly, the term of endearment slipping out before I can stop it. It doesn’t even fucking matter anymore. I can call her whatever the hell I want. Even though we’re not together, she’s still mine. “You keep me humble.”
“Someone has to,” she quips, winking at me as she picks up her pen and taps it on her notebook in front of her. “Now, you need to focus so we can go through this shit for tomorrow’s exam.”
A ghost of a smile plays on my lips as I scan her face, free from any makeup. She’s naturally beautiful and I can feel it in my core. Fuck, she isn’t just under my skin. She’s the marrow inside my goddamn bones. “It’s hard to focus sitting this close to you.”
“There’s a chair on the opposite side of the table.”
Shaking my head at her, I can’t fight the smirk that forms. She keeps me on my toes with her quick responses and I love it. “That chair is reserved for the friend zone. Sitting next to you comes as another added benefit to our friendship.”
Aspen rolls her eyes at me, but I don’t miss the grin she attempts to bite back as a pink tint spreads across her cheeks. “How did your meeting go with your advisor?”
“You’re never going to believe this,” I start, unable to contain the excitement in my voice. “We did it. My biology grade is officially where it needs to be. My scholarship is safe and so is my place on the team.”
I watch as her eyes widen, her smile spreading across her entire fucking face as she stares at me with so much pride. “That’s amazing, Cam! Seriously, I’m so proud of you. I knew you would be able to do it.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you,” I admit, my voice hoarse as my eyes bounce back and forth between hers. “Seriously, Aspen. You’re my saving grace. I literally owe you everything.”
“Nonsense,” she shakes her head, a wave of shyness passing through her. She’s discrediting and dismissing everything she’s done to get me to this point. “You don’t owe me anything. Just make sure your grade doesn’t slip again.”
My eyebrows tug together for a moment. “Are you saying you’re done with me now? I thought we had an agreement, that you would help me through the rest of the semester?’
Aspen tilts her head to the side. “Do you still want me to? I’m not saying I don’t want to, because if I can help you, I most definitely want to. But are you sure you still need me?”
More than you’ll ever fucking know…
“Yes.” The word comes out in a rush and I don’t even care how desperate it sounds. “I don’t think I can do it without you.”
Her lips curl upward. “Then I’m not going anywhere,” she breathes, a fire burning in her eyes as the flames lick at her irises. She clears her throat, collecting herself as she turns her gaze back to the notes in front of her. “We’d better get to studying then because you have to pass the exam tomorrow.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.
No strings, just a friends with benefits arrangement. Saturday was nothing more or nothing less than that. Just two friends indulging in our benefits.
For some reason, it feels like there’s something different between us now. Like there’s been a shift, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. And the way she’s burrowed herself into my bones, I’m not sure I want to even acknowledge it at this point—let alone discuss it.
And this is when I just let it ride and see where this goes.
Which is hopefully not up in fucking flames…
