I haven’t spoken to Aspen since the night we set our days to meet for tutoring. That was Monday evening after practice. I could have met with her on Tuesday, but I already had plans with the guys after our off-ice workouts. It would have been too suspicious if I canceled at the last minute, and the last thing I need is any of them digging around for more information.
That’s the way it works between all of us. There aren’t many secrets kept between us, as we’re all practically like brothers. Everyone knows each other’s business, except a few things are kept private. Like the fact that Logan was in love with August’s little sister. That shit went on for a long time before anyone found out.
Thankfully, it all worked out in the end and they ended up together. If not, I’m not sure what would have happened between August and Logan. That’s a line that once you cross it, there’s no going back. Things could have gone a lot worse for them, but August came to his senses and realized that Logan was the best thing for Isla.
It was surprising to all of us. Logan kept it under wraps from us all, even though he was acting suspicious and we all had our theories that it involved a girl. None of us knew it was Isla until their little secret finally surfaced.
My secret, however, isn’t one I want to come to light. I can’t afford to have them afraid that I’m going to let them down. They’re my damn family. I refuse to be the one who disappoints them all.
It’s been strange seeing Aspen in class and keeping our little secret. It would be unusual for the two of us to be seen talking since we were never really friends. It was almost as if there was a mutual decision made between the two of us without either of us actually discussing it. Nothing changed with the way that we interacted—or lack thereof, should I say.
Sweat drips down the sides of my face as I finish up my workout and my muscles are aching. You would think that it would get easier, but Coach has been pushing us harder each day, knowing regionals are approaching. We all need to be in top shape and performing like we never have.
It was a struggle getting through the evening workout with the anxiety rolling in my stomach. I’ve never had to have someone tutor me before, so I’m not sure how this is going to work out, but I fucking need it to. This is my last-ditch effort and I’m relying on Aspen to help me get through this.
“Yo, Cam,” Hayden calls out my name as we head back to the locker room to shower. “What are you up to tonight? I think Simon and I were going to head to the bar and get some food. We all know that Logan and August are too whipped to tag along all the time.”
August narrows his eyes at Hayden as we all head to our lockers. “Did you forget that I have a pregnant girlfriend? Perhaps that might be a little more important than drinking my sorrows away.”
“Who said anything about drinking away any sorrows?” Hayden quips as he pulls his shirt over his head. “Sorry that not all of us are tied down already.”
“And is there something wrong with that?” Logan questions him as he grabs his things to head to the shower. “It sounds like you might be a little jealous, King.”
Hayden chuckles, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. You guys can have fun with your commitments. I’m perfectly fine doing my own thing.”
“You’ll see how things change when you find the person you can’t get out of your head,” Logan informs him, leaving the three of us standing there as he disappears into the shower room.
“And that is one thing that will never happen,” Hayden replies, glancing at August and I. “Some of us have no interest in ever being tied down to anyone.”
August laughs at him, rolling his eyes. “I said the same thing and look at me now.”
“Yeah, well, getting someone knocked up isn’t exactly on my agenda either,” Hayden tells him as he grabs his things and turns back to me as August disappears from where we’re standing. “So, what do you say, Cam? I know you don’t have anything else going on like the two of them.”
“I’m sorry, bro, I can’t tonight.”
Hayden’s eyebrows draw together. “Not you too.”
A chuckle slips from my lips and no one notices that it’s forced as I shake my head. “Nah, trust me, I don’t plan on following in their footsteps. I just have other plans.”
“With who?” Simon asks as he strides toward us, freshly showered and dressed. “Come on, man. If you’re not with one of us, it’s gotta be a girl.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I tell the two of them as they stare at me expectantly with their cocky smirks and eyebrows raised. “It’s nothing like that. I have a shitload of studying to do and a girl in my class offered me her notes.”
“Who is—” Hayden starts, but I quickly shut him down, shaking my head as I walk away.
“Nope, we’re not doing this.”
I hear Hayden’s laughter as I make my way to the showers and slip inside, stripping out of my clothes before stepping into the hot water. I can still hear him and Simon talking shit, but that’s what they do. Shit, it’s what we all do. But the difference here is, I’m not taking the bait. They don’t need to know about this arrangement.
All that they need to know when it comes to Aspen is she’s giving me her notes. They don’t need to know that she’s actually going to be tutoring me too.
When I arrive on campus, the parking lot is practically empty. The library usually stays open until ten during the week, since a lot of students need to use the resources in there. I’m not sure what most colleges do, but that’s one of the things our university offers and I’m thankful for it at this moment.
With how crazy my schedule is and not being able to get here until seven-thirty, it’s a relief knowing that we have enough time to hopefully work through all of this.
As I step through the doors of the library, I notice there are a few students scattered among different tables. Surveying the vast space, I don’t see Aspen sitting at any of the tables in my immediate vision. Walking through the room, I round one of the rows of books that leads to another area that has more tables when I see her.
Aspen is tucked away in a corner, her back facing me. Her raven-colored hair is pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head, and I notice she has a pair of AirPods in as she flips through the pages of her textbook. Her other hand moves as she jots something down on the notebook beside her.
A smile touches my lips as I notice she’s wearing a hoodie and a pair of sweats. She had no intention of trying to impress me. In fact, I think she was trying to do the exact opposite. As I round the table, she catches sight of me, lifting her eyes to mine. Her face is free of any makeup and her soft sage irises shine back at me.
I’ve noticed the light makeup she wears during school hours, but honestly, she doesn’t need it. She’s naturally beautiful and looks even better with a clean face. A smirk forms on my lips as her tactics aren’t fucking working on me. Either she doesn’t care about how she looks or she wants to appear unattractive, but it has quite the opposite effect on me.
She’s fucking gorgeous.
Aspen pulls her AirPods from her ears and sets them down on the table in front of her. “Hey,” she says softly, smiling at me as I pull out the chair across from her and sit down. “Sorry, I was just working on some things for one of my other classes.”
“What are you majoring in?” I ask her, the question random as I look over what appears to be some type of math that I sure as hell would never be able to do in my life.
“Pre-med,” she tells me, a bashful smile on her lips as she bats her eyelashes. “What about you?”
“Marketing,” I answer her with a shrug. “Not exactly something that interests me, but it’s something to fall back on if hockey doesn’t work out.”
Her eyebrows draw together, a playful look in her eyes. “Is Cameron Sawyer really doubting his abilities to play professional hockey? Where’s the Cam that I’m actually supposed to be tutoring right now?”
A soft laugh falls from my lips and I roll my eyes at her. “You know what I mean. It’s always safe to have a fallback plan. You never know what is going to happen. I could easily get injured and poof—there goes everything I’ve worked for.”
She stares at me for a moment, her smile falling. “Okay, enough of the pessimism. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, positive energy is the only thing that is acceptable.”
“You weren’t exactly exuding positive energy when I first asked you for your help,” I quip, a smirk on my lips.
Aspen’s expression softens and she offers me an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. It just seemed kind of weird and caught me off guard. I didn’t mean to be abrasive and appear cold. I have some trust issues occasionally, especially with people that I don’t know.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re going to be spending so much time together,” I retort, winking at her. “That way you’ll be able to get to know me a little better.”
“Who said I want to get to know you?” she throws back at me, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips as mischief sparkles in her soft sage irises.
I shrug, a look of indifference passing over my face. “We’ll see what happens.”
“How about we see how terribly you’re doing in bio so we can figure out how much work is going to be needed to get you back on track?”
Her question thrusts me back into reality, away from the flirtatious behavior between the two of us. Swallowing hard, I nod. “Good idea.”
Aspen stares at me for a moment, her expression unreadable before she closes her math book and slides it to the other side of her. Grabbing her biology book and notes, she flips to where we are in our studies right now.
“What are you struggling with the most?” she asks me, no judgment in her voice, only curiosity. “I need some type of a baseline for us to start.”
A nervous chuckle escapes me. “Um… everything?”
“Why are you even taking a biology course if you’re majoring in marketing?”
Her question catches me off guard for a moment. “Honestly, I don’t know. It was listed as a class I needed my freshman year and I literally pushed it off until now because I knew it wasn’t something I was ever good at. I barely passed the class in high school and I was going to try to get out of taking it, but it was too late.”
“Okay. So, do you understand the basic stuff that we’ve gone over in class? Or do you need me to start from square one? Because if we have to do that, it might take a long time.”
“Fuck no,” I tell her, shaking my head rapidly. “I just need to literally bring my grade up to a C. So, if we can just focus on the stuff we’re learning now and I can pass the tests coming up, then I’m good to go.”
Aspen nods. “Well, let’s get to it then.”
We spend the next two hours with me staring at her, attempting to retain everything she’s explaining to me. It’s confusing as fuck, but she breaks it down, taking her time to explain everything to me in a way I am able to understand.
By the time we finish, I feel like I have a better understanding of the material, although I am nowhere close to being able to pass a test with the score I need to raise my overall grade. Aspen finishes up, her pale, sage eyes searching mine.
“I hope some of this made sense to you,” she offers softly as she closes her books and slides them into her bag. “I know it’s a lot to try and remember, but we can try different things to help you get there.”
“No, everything you did so far was perfect,” I tell her with honesty, momentarily getting lost in the green depths of her irises. “It makes a hell of a lot more sense than it did listening to our professor drone on. I think these one-on-one sessions are exactly what I need.”
Watching her throat bob as she swallows hard, I don’t miss the way a pink tint creeps across her cheeks. I bite back the smirk that plays on my lips, reveling in the notion that I have some type of an effect on her.
Get it together, Sawyer. She’s here to tutor you, not fall into your lap and into your bed.
“What does your daily schedule look like during the week?” I ask her as we both rise from our seats and begin to walk through the library. “I have, like, an hour-and-a-half break between classes around noon on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”
She pauses for a second, chewing on the inside of her cheek before she nods. “That could work for me. I have a break around the same time, too, and usually end up in here.”
“Not only are you a grandma, but you’re quite the bookworm too, huh?”
Aspen rolls her eyes at me, shoving her shoulder into mine. “Hey. Some of us aren’t star athletes and actually have to worry about a career that doesn’t involve playing a sport after we graduate. And, I need to be on top of my grades if I want to get into med school after this.”
Pulling open the door, I hold it for her as she walks through, quietly thanking me. “You know, you’re pretty inspiring, Aspen Rossi.”
She glances over at me, a sad smile touching her lips. “I learned from a young age not to depend on someone else. I want to make a life for myself—create a safety net—that way I don’t have to worry about relying on anyone else.”
My eyebrows draw together, so many questions on the tip of my tongue, but I clamp my mouth shut and swallow them back. It’s none of my business and if Aspen wants to share, I’ll wait for her to feel comfortable enough to tell me.
If there’s one thing I’ve found out about Aspen Rossi in the past two hours I’ve spent with her, it is that she isn’t who she appears to be to the rest of the world.
There’s more to her than she lets on.
And I fully intend on peeling back her layers and figuring out who the fuck she really is.
