Delilah’s gaze is on the side of my face and when I turn to look at her, she raises an eyebrow. I shouldn’t have agreed to drink because regret instantly floods me as soon as I realize that I called Cam pretty boy. This is exactly why I don’t drink. Once I start getting a buzz, it’s like I lose control of all of my inhibitions. Thankfully, my meds have already worn off from earlier in the day, because that is a combination I don’t enjoy at all.
But I must admit, the warmth spreading through my body feels pretty nice right now. I feel like I can finally breathe without a weight on my chest. Tearing my eyes away from hers, I meet Cam’s gaze across the table, his lips lifted in a grin as he stares me down.
Hayden makes his shot and it effortlessly lands in a cup. Cam doesn’t take his eyes away from mine, following suit as he makes it in too. Delilah throws her hands up in an uproar as I grab both of the balls and roll them across the table to them. Grabbing the cups, I slide them out of the way.
“There’s no way that the two of you are making those shots again,” I tell them, attempting to talk shit and get into their heads. It’s worked in the past, as a tactic to shake up an opponent and throw them off their game. With the way Hayden and Cameron are smirking at me, I don’t think it’s something that will work on either of them.
Delilah and I both grab our cups of beer, taking long swigs as the boys toss their balls across the table. Neither one makes it in and for that, I am eternally grateful. I may not have gotten into their heads, but they still didn’t make the shots, so it makes me feel a little better about talking shit.
We go back and forth, throwing ping pong balls at cups filled with water, all of us talking shit to each other as we drain our drinks. The game goes on for longer than anyone expects, until we’re down to only one cup each. Delilah was right, the beer does go down better the more you drink. And I’m well on my way to being drunker than I’ve been since high school.
A crowd has since grown around the table, everyone watching in awe and cheering us on as we continue to shoot our shots. I don’t know if it’s because everyone has gotten pretty drunk at this point, but all four of us are shooting air balls. Even though we haven’t been hitting any cups, we all continued to drink, which has led us to this inevitable moment.
Delilah fumbles with her ball and it slips from her hands, rolling off the table and onto the floor on my side. Abandoning my spot at the table, I start walking to get it at the same time that Cameron starts to move. We both bend down at the same time, just nearly bumping our heads as our hands touch around the ball. I wrap my fingers around the sphere as Cam encapsulates my hand with his own.
We’re both crouched down, his hand covering mine as his deep green eyes search mine. A heat creeps up my neck, spreading across my cheeks as his gaze drops down to my lips. I can’t tear my eyes away from him, watching as his tongue darts out and he wets his lips before looking back up at me.
“Damn, Aspen,” Cam mumbles, shaking his head at me as a ghost of a smile plays on his lips. “Can’t you just lose already?”
“Absolutely not,” I retort, straightening my spine as I push my shoulders back. “Believe it or not, I’m actually pretty competitive and this game just so happens to be something that I’m actually good at.”
Cam tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows pulling together slightly. “There’s a lot of things you’re good at. Not just beer pong.”
A soft laugh falls from my lips as I study his face for a moment, his features appearing to be tormented as he looks at me thoughtfully. “Let’s be real… the only thing I’m actually good at is related to studying and school shit. I’m not athletic, I’m not artistic. I’m just your average nerd.”
Cameron’s lips curl upward, a fire burning in the depths of his eyes as he stares back at me. “You’re the best nerd I know. Dare I say, my favorite?”
“I find it hard to believe that you’re friends with any other nerds,” I snort, rolling my eyes as the alcohol allows me to let my guard down. My calves begin to ache from the way we’re still crouched down and I rise back up. Cam follows along with me, slowly removing his hand from mine. As soon as it’s gone, I miss his warmth and resist the urge to demand he put it back.
“So, we’re friends now?” he questions me, the flames licking at me as I tiptoe closer to the fire that burns in him.
I shrug, my body swaying slightly from the alcohol. Dropping my hands to the table, I brace myself, feeling Cameron’s arm sliding around my back as he grips me around the waist. “I’m fine,” I mumble, glancing over at Delilah, who is too busy with Alexander. “Ugh.”
“Let’s go outside and get some fresh air and maybe some water.”
Nodding, I look back to Cam and throw my arm around his shoulders as he walks with me, still holding on to my waist. I’m fairly certain that I could walk by myself, but I’m pretty drunk and he smells good. Too good that I don’t want him to move away from me right now. I like him this close, even if it’s the last thing I’ll admit when I’m sober.
A drunken mind speaks sober thoughts.
Cam leads me outside, grabbing two waters as we pass through the kitchen. There are a few people out on the back patio, but he finds a bench that isn’t occupied by anyone and sets me down. He follows along, sitting down beside me as he unscrews the top of the water bottle and hands it to me.
Lifting the rim to my lips, I tilt it back and swallow some of the cold liquid. Looking back at Cam, I find his gaze on mine, studying me as he watches me put the lid back on my bottle of water.
“Since we’re friends, can I tell you something?”
Swallowing hard over my buzz, I nod. I don’t trust my voice in this moment with the way that Cameron is looking at me. Both of our heads are turned toward each other, the only thing touching is our thighs pressed together. Cam’s eyes are filled with a burning desire as they slowly move back and forth between mine.
“You’re fucking breathtaking.”
A heat creeps up my neck, spreading across my cheeks as the warmth spreads through my body. My eyes widen as I stare back at him, completely taken aback by his admission. I choke out a laugh, the sound getting caught in my throat.
“You’re only saying that because you’re drunk,” I respond, my voice soft as I recover from my embarrassing choking episode.
Cam reaches toward me, lightly brushing a piece of hair from my face before tucking it behind my ear. “Can I tell you another secret?” he asks me, leaning closer.
My breath catches in my throat and I nod as he leans even closer, his lips brushing against the outer shell of my ear. He’s overwhelming my senses as I inhale the smell of his cologne. He smells like a mix of the forest and bourbon.
“I’m not drunk.”
Swallowing hard, my heart pounds erratically in my chest as his fingertips trail down my neck and he rests his palm against my collarbone. He doesn’t pull away at first, his breath still warm against my skin as his lips lightly brush my ear again.
“Aspen,” he breathes, the sultry sound of his voice wrapping itself around my eardrums. A shiver creeps up my spine, feeling the warmth of his hand through my sweater.
Holding my breath, I wait for him to say something else but he doesn’t. He lifts his hand away from my collarbone and moves back, his breath leaving the side of my neck. My eyes desperately search his and my body sways from the alcohol as a ragged breath slips from my lips.
There’s a look of torment lingering in his stormy eyes as he stares directly through me. “How are you getting home?” he questions me, his voice strained.
Shrugging, I chew on the inside of my cheek. “I met Delilah at campus and we walked here. I don’t even know where she is now, though…”
“I’m pretty sure I saw her disappear somewhere with Alexander.” Cameron pauses for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “I’ll walk back with you and drive you home, because there’s no way in hell I’m letting you get behind the wheel right now.”
“I’ll be fine,” I tell him, brushing away the feelings as his rejection lingers in the air. He didn’t flat-out reject me, but he got close and then backed off, the tension around us building. If he actually wanted me, he would have acted on it instead of pulling away. “I’m sure I’ll be sober enough to drive by the time I get back to my car.”
“Nope,” he says, popping up to his feet. He pulls out his phone and taps on the screen before holding it up to his ear. “Yo, Hayden. I’m gonna drive Aspen’s car back to her apartment. I need you to pick me up there.”
I watch him and he’s silent for a moment, listening to Hayden speak to him before he ends the call and slips it back into the pocket of his jeans. He extends his arm, offering his hand to me. Dropping my gaze to it, I stare at it for a moment, unsure of what the right move is to make. I’m just supposed to be tutoring him. I don’t have to be his friend, and I sure as hell don’t need to get close to him.
A sigh slips from my lips and his palm feels warm against mine as I place my hand in his. He lifts me to my feet, making sure I’m steady before he leads me around the side of the house. We bypass everyone still partying hard and I make a mental note to text Delilah and let her know that I went home.
We step onto the sidewalk and Cam falls into step beside me, his hand still in mine as we walk through the brisk night back toward campus. My body sways slightly, but I don’t stumble as the cool air helps with the buzz I had going.
“I’m sorry if I was misleading,” Cam says quietly as we approach the parking lot to the campus. He follows along with me as I walk closer to my car and he moves with me over to the passenger’s side. As I pull out my keys, he takes them from me and unlocks the door before pulling it open for me.
As I drop down into the seat, my eyes meet his. I get lost for a moment, watching the storm clouds roll in his pupils before he closes the door and walks over to the driver’s side. He slides in behind the wheel, pulling the door closed, and starts the engine.
We fall into an uncomfortable silence, the tension hanging heavily in the air as he pulls the car out of the parking lot. I stare at him and he glances over as he stops the car at the stop sign. “Where do you live? I need directions to your place.”
I tell him my address and the apartment complex I live in and he seems to already know where it is. He pulls out his phone, I’m assuming to text Hayden, before he begins to drive without needing any further direction.
The silence is deafening and the alcohol still coursing through my system gives me a boost of courage I don’t necessarily want.
“How were you misleading?” I blurt out.
Cam glances over at me before looking back at the road. “I don’t want to blur the lines because I can’t give you any more than this strange friendship. And I actually need your help and for you to tutor me. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
You’re fucking breathtaking.
His words float into my head and I feel the sting from him wanting to take back what he said. My stomach sinks and my hand grips the handle on the door as I direct my gaze out the window.
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it, though,” he adds, his voice soft and barely audible.
I don’t tear my eyes away from the window, feeling a spark of hope as we pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex. Another car pulls in not long after we park and Cameron and I both get out, him handing me my keys after locking the door.
“Can I walk you to your door?”
Shaking my head, I wrap my arms around my body to shield myself from the cold air of the night. “I’m good, but thank you for driving my car for me. I’ll see you in class on Monday.”
Cam’s jaw tics, but he doesn’t say a word as he gives me a curt nod. He lingers, but I don’t entertain him any further. Spinning on my heel, I head into the apartment building and press the button for the elevator. As the doors slide open, I chance one last look into the parking lot and see Cameron still standing there, watching me.
A sigh slips from my lips as I step onto the elevator and press the button for my floor.
We have an arrangement for me to tutor him and help him get through the rest of the year. Nothing more than that. Once he gets his grades up, he won’t need me anymore. Our so-called friendship was just drunken words spoken into the void.
We’re not really friends and I don’t think we ever will be.
