DEJONAE
“What are you doing?” Vanya gives me a panicked look. “Hurry up, Deej. What if we miss the kids’ performance?”
“Relax, babe.” Hadyn checks his watch. “We still got a couple minutes.”
“Wow. Now that you’ve told me to relax, I feel so much better.”
Hadyn laughs and rocks Baby Ollie in his arms.
Despite her heavy sarcasm, Vanya breaks out into a smile too.
Baby Ollie coos her happiness. She truly looks like the daughter of a fashion icon tonight, her little arms and legs are shrouded in shrills and lace.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Baby Ollie had her own social media account with a horde of loyal followers eager to see her next outfit.
“You guys go ahead,” I squeak out. It’s obvious that Vanya wants to hurry inside and I want to do the opposite.
Vanya turns sharply. Her brown eyes study me in the dusk.
I glance away, pretending to take great interest in my surroundings. The school parking lot is flooded with luxury SUVs. Small photo booths are set up along the back. Photographers are mounting their lights and colorful backgrounds, preparing for an influx of rich parents high off their children’s awkward first performances.
“Dejonae?” Vanya calls.
I want to move. I really do.
But it’s like my feet are stuck on the cement.
Hadyn and Vanya exchange a wordless look.
Anger boils inside my chest when I watch them.
Adam and Nova and Vanya and Hadyn have shown the ability to communicate without words. So why the hell is it so hard for me and Sazuki to get on the same page?
Hadyn clears his throat. “I’ll find the others and save you both a seat.”
“Thanks, babe.” Vanya waves him away and then trots toward me. “Honey, if you clutch that bouquet any tighter, you’re going to give Niko a pile of stems.”
I relax my fingers, but my heart is still beating fast.
“Are you nervous about seeing Sazuki?” Vanya asks, rubbing my shoulder.
I shake my head.
Somehow, I’ve managed to survive working at the foundation and seeing him every day. It killed me inside, but I held out for so long because I thought he would come to me immediately.
But he didn’t.
I didn’t think he’d let our break stretch out for this long, and now everything is a mess.
“Is it because she’s inside?” Vanya whispers.
My eyes dart to her.
“Niko told Beth that her mom was here. Beth told Dawn and… well, you know how the farmhouse grapevine works.”
I inhale a shuddering breath. “I’m okay. Niko asked me to show up. I’m doing this for her.”
“Then you better get inside,” Vanya says gently.
I follow her into the school auditorium. Fancy, cushioned chairs face the stage. Speakers hang from the walls like we’re in a movie theatre. Private schools really are a different breed. My public school auditorium did not have air conditioning, surround-sound speakers, and velvet seats.
Sunny and Darrel Hastings are sitting at the front of the room. They turn and spot us wedging into our seats at the back. Sunny shoots me a beaming smile and waves. Her movement catches Dawn and Max Stinton’s attention. The couple notice me and Vanya. They nod and smile in acknowledgement.
“Why aren’t we sitting with them?” I ask Vanya.
She takes Baby Ollie from Hadyn and adjust the frills around her wrist. Eyes sparkling with love, she focuses on her child even as she speaks to me, “Up front is for the parents.”
“Ah.” I sweep my gaze over the room again and freeze when I see a familiar head of black hair.
I would recognize Sazuki from the back if I were in a crowd of millions. His hair is longer than usual, brushing his broad shoulders. He turns slightly to the side, showing off his impeccable profile—strong forehead, sharp nose, chiseled jaw line.
My heart rams against my ribs.
Stupid tears start piling in my eyes.
Ridiculous.
I miss him so much, but I’m not going to cry at the sight of him.
Don’t be a child, Dejonae.
Sazuki dips his head closer to the woman sitting beside him. The sensation of a thousand sharp needles stabbing my skin hits me. I wish I could go numb, but there’s no relief from the pain. No shelter. No life raft to save me from drowning in my own stupidity.
Ashanti tilts her face up to Sazuki. Whatever he says makes her laugh.
My stomach clenches.
I press a hand over my mouth, fighting back the urge to run right out of the auditorium.
“Deej?” Vanya calls.
“Deej, you okay?” Hadyn asks.
Groaning, I fight to keep my composure. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go find Niko and give these to her.”
Vanya says something else to me, but I don’t hear her over the rushing of my own heart.
Sazuki and Ashanti are together again as parents. Is that the reason he hasn’t bothered to fight for me? To chase me? Did Ashanti get her way? Has he just not found the right time to tell me he chose to be a family for Niko?
My heart sinks fast.
I want to throw my hands high and yell ‘screw this!’
But I promised Niko that I’d stay for her performance and I never break my word.
The crowd backstage is thick with parents, teachers and children preparing for the show. Bright lights illuminate the kids’ wide grins and heavily made-up faces. Two little girls in tutus hurry past me.
I stop in place and glance around, looking for Niko.
“Dejonae?” Kenya appears in front of me, wearing a curly afro, jeans and a fancy blouse. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I glance behind her and see Alistair walking in holding Belle’s hand. Their adorable little girl is also wearing a tutu. “Is Belle dancing tonight?”
“Yeah, the older girls asked her to be in their performance.” Kenya blinks steadily at me. “Who are you looking for?”
“Niko.”
“She’s over there!” Belle points. Excitedly, the adorable ballerina breaks away from her parents and joins Niko, Beth, Bailey and Micheal, who seem to have formed something of a ‘cool kid’ table at the center of the room.
Sunny and Darrel’s boys are dressed in karate uniforms, hinting of what their performance will be.
“I’ll deliver this prop to her teacher,” Alistair says. I focus on him and realize he’s wearing a pair of sparkly pink fairy wings on his back.
My eyelashes bounce as I struggle to make sense of the tall, intimidating man wearing a fairy costume.
“Don’t say a word,” Alistair warns me.
Kenya’s mouth trembles. She bursts out laughing when her husband walks away. “Poor thing. He had to wear that the entire drive. He can’t say no to Belle.”
My smile turns pained. “Good fathers will do anything for their kids. I understand.”
“Are you okay, Dejonae?” Kenya touches my arm.
“I’m fine.” My voice cracks. “I’ll deliver these to Niko and then head back outside.”
Kenya nods, her concerned eyes watching me long after I walk away.
Niko sees me approaching and a giant grin spreads over her face. She leaves her friends and flies toward me. I have to lean back before I get slapped in the face with her tablet as she throws her arms around me for a hug.
“Hi, baby.” I rub her back and sink my head into her neck. My heart rearranges in my chest.
I’m not her mother.
I know that.
But I would honestly die for this little girl.
And I am.
Because being separated from Sazuki feels like I’m dying slowly.
Still, if it means that she has her biological mother in her life and she gets to see her father and mother connecting again then… maybe…
I fight the tears because I really can’t finish the thought.
“Is this the tablet you use to talk to your friends?” I ease her hand back and divert her attention to the device before she senses how torn up I am inside.
Niko nods and shows me the tablet.
There’s a half-written sentence on it, which tells me I interrupted her in the middle of a conversation. I notice a side tab with pre-written responses too. It must make things easier for her when she’s talking with her friends.
Smoothly, she clips the tablet under her arm and uses her hands to sign with me. “I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be,” I sign. “You’re going to do great.”
Beth approaches us. She waves at me, remembering me from the last time I visited the farmhouse. Her hazel eyes brim with intelligence and she moves gracefully.
“Hi, Miss Dejonae.”
“Hey, Beth.”
Beth taps Niko’s shoulder to get her attention. “Pictures,” she gestures. With her mouth, she explains, “Belle’s mom wants to take pictures.”
From the slight frown, I can tell that Beth isn’t into all that fuss.
Bailey runs up to her. “Come on, guys. It’s almost time for Belle’s dance.”
Niko wanders off with her flowers and her friends. I watch her get absorbed into the fray, perfectly content. Perfectly safe.
She belongs.
It hurts even as it heals.
Niko might have needed me before she met them, but she’s surrounded by so much love and care now.
Maybe I don’t need to be in her life anymore.
Maybe it’ll be okay if I just disappear.
I slip away the moment Niko’s piano performance is over.
She did amazing.
Somehow, Adam engineered the MTB to look like a pink, girly headband. The pack that delivers vibrational frequency to her ribs was under her clothes, so no one in the audience would know that she had any device on.
I was absolutely bursting with pride and completely in the moment…
Until I saw Sazuki and Ashanti hugging.
After that, the night was ruined for me. I hurled an excuse at Vanya, bustled out of the auditorium and hurried home.
Now, I’m sitting in my pajamas, trying to get drunk on wine and popcorn while my sister scolds me from a video call.
“You should have stayed,” Yaya signs on the screen. “And grabbed her hair.”
“Do you think my life is a reality show?”
“You’re friends with a bunch of real-life billionaires,” Yaya gestures. Her eyes widen to emphasize the point. “You’re not living in reality.”
I grip my wine glass. “It’s over. I’m going to find a way to graduate without having to work with him. Even if it means quitting school and starting all over, I’m not going to torture myself watching him be happy with her. I can’t do it.”
“Tell him that.”
“I can’t,” I croak. My mind flips back to Ashanti’s speech in the apartment and her smug words when I ran into her at the foundation.
Niko’s so much happier seeing her mom and dad trying again.
“Niko deserves to have her parents together. And I’m not a home wrecker.”
She flings me an angry look. Her hands flail. “He’s divorced. He wrecked his own home. Not you.”
“But now he can build it back. I shouldn’t get in the way of that.”
There’s a knock on the door.
My shoulders slump.
I have no energy to get up.
The knock sounds again.
I groan and squeeze my eyes shut.
“What?” Yaya gestures.
“Someone’s here.”
“Maybe it’s Sazuki,” she signs.
I refuse to allow that thought to give me hope. “I doubt it. I’ll check who it is and call you back.”
She blows me a kiss and signs off.
I drag myself to the door. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Vanya’s voice echoes.
Stunned, I unlock the door. “Vanya?”
“Hey, Dejonae.”
I stop short.
Sunny’s eyes sparkle at me beneath her thick lashes. She spots my glass. “Ooh, wine.”
My jaw drops when she takes the glass from me and sidles her way into my tiny, one-bedroom apartment.
“You got a head start,” Kenya says, waving a bottle around. She walks in like I invited her.
“Cute place.” Dawn moves past me, her eyes whipping around.
Vanya is the last to enter.
I meet her eyes and hiss, “What’s going on? Why is everyone here?”
“We couldn’t think of a better place to go for Girl’s Night.”
“Girl’s Night?” I frown.
“You’re familiar with the concept, right?” Vanya tilts her head.
“Of course I know what Girl’s Night is. But… why is it here? And didn’t your kid’s talent show end just a few hours ago?”
“Two hours to be exact. The kids got ice cream and a sugar rush.” Sunny folds herself into my sofa. “So naturally, we shoved them on their dads and ran away.”
“And the ‘Mom of The Year’ award goes to…”
Kenya guffaws.
Sunny cackles even louder.
Ugh.
I want to wallow in self-pity, but I genuinely like them.
“We’re here to raid your house for snacks,” Dawn says.
“I don’t buy it.” I stalk to the middle of my living room. “This feels like an intervention.”
“And your feelings are totally valid,” Kenya quips with an innocent tone.
I scowl at her.
She smiles. “Seriously, do you have snacks? I didn’t eat much of the ice cream.”
“In the kitchen.” I gesture that way.
“I brought wine.” Vanya offers the bottle to me. “I thought of making you chai, but I’m not that delusional. You are the undisputed chai queen. I’m not worthy enough to touch your blender.”
“I found Oreos!” Dawn cries gleefully.
The other women pump their fists.
Slowly, my living room is overtaken by four gorgeous mothers who all seem to have no objections to home invasion.
“Vanya, put that chair down this instant,” Dawn yells, pointing a finger as the model carries furniture from the kitchen to the living room.
“You guys realize I gave birth months ago, right?”
“It doesn’t matter. Hadyn will kill us if we have you lifting a finger,” Sunny says, popping to her feet.
“Deej only has this tiny sofa. We can’t all sit in it,” Vanya defends herself.
“I got it.” Sunny takes over from Vanya. She drags the chair over to me. “Sit here, sweetie.”
“Thanks.”
“Kenya, pass the Oreos,” Dawn yells. “You’re not a squirrel storing up for the winter. Put some back.”
“Never.” Kenya shoves two in her mouth.
I laugh and tuck my leg under me.
“Did you enjoy the performances, Deej?” Sunny asks, eyeing me carefully.
“Sure…”
“She left after Niko’s piano piece,” Vanya tattles.
I give her the stink eye.
She shrugs. “It’s the truth.”
“Uh, I wish I could have run away too. I came to watch Belle stick her leg out a few times, pirouette once and then skate off the stage. My baby was up there for less than two minutes, but I had to sit through hours of a kid hawking on a trombone and two screechy violin acts.”
“Beth’s tire-changing performance was nice though,” Vanya points out. “I’m still trying to figure out how they fit an actual car through the door.”
All the ladies murmur in agreement.
“And Niko’s song was just…” Dawn sighs happily. “It was beautiful. She impressed me so much.”
“How does she do that without being able to hear?” Sunny asks me.
“Learning the piano as a deaf person doesn’t necessarily require hearing. Seeing the keys is enough to get started and after that, your body memorizes the placement of the fingers. It’s actually really healthy and therapeutic to play the piano, no matter who you are.”
Dawn bobs her head, impressed.
Vanya smiles. “It sounds like you’ve rattled that speech off before.”
“I’ve had to mention it a time or two at the foundation.”
“Speaking of the foundation,” Sunny begins.
I tilt my head and face the ceiling. “I knew this was coming.”
“What’s going on with you and Sazuki?” Kenya asks.
Four pairs of eyes drill into me.
“I… we…” My throat closes up. All the happiness I’d felt being in their company drains into a painful knot in my chest. “We broke up.”
Gasps ripple through the room.
“Are you kidding? Why would he make an idiotic decision like that? I thought he was a smart guy!” Vanya shrieks.
Dawn approaches me. Her hand falls on the top of my head. “Are you okay?”
I was before she comforted me.
But now the waterworks are turning back on.
“I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Every time I close my eyes, I can… I can see him. Smell him. Feel him. The pain,” I hit my chest, “is like someone died for me. I thought I could handle it, but I feel so lost.”
“Sweetie.” Vanya abandons her chair and pounces on me.
Soon, all the women are embracing me. The smell of cocoa butter, natural hair products and sisterhood fills my nose and unleashes the tears I’d been fighting back.
I brush the tears away. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for feeling what you feel,” Sunny coaches me. “You just let that wave ride right on through.”
“I always thought of myself as strong,” I confess to them. “I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who’d let a man devastate her. I’m confident, I’m smart, I’m in control. I can find another one.”
“But you loved him,” Dawn says simply.
I glance up, stunned.
“When you love someone, you let your walls down. You become soft. You become vulnerable. That’s why it hurts. When someone gets you to take your armor off and they impale you, you don’t just feel hurt. You feel stupid.”
“I can’t even hate him. That’s the worst part.” I straighten and the women give me a little breathing room.
“Before I met Sazuki, I thought all I wanted to be was a songwriter. But since working at the foundation, I’ve found my real dream. I want to keep helping the deaf community. I want to bring music to the people who can’t hear it.”
“That’s so inspiring,” Sunny says.
“But you know the worst part?” I glance at each of them. “Doing the work that I love feels meaningless now. Even though I found my purpose, it feels like… like I lost something too.”
Sunny rubs my back. “Did the break up happen because of what we discussed that night at the farmhouse?”
“What did you discuss?” Dawn asks.
“Oh…” Sunny looks to me for permission.
I nod.
She explains, “Dejonae slammed a reporter’s head into a bathroom stall and Sazuki didn’t take her side.”
“You what?” Vanya hurls back.
“Straight into the door? Like MMA style?” Dawn asks, looking excited.
“Which reporter?” Kenya strokes her chin. “Not that annoying one on the local news channel, right?”
Astonished, I pin Sunny with a dark frown. “Why’d you say it like that?”
“It’s true, isn’t it?” she fires back.
“I have so many questions,” Vanya says in a daze.
“I will not be answering any of them,” I insist. “Sazuki and I didn’t break up because of the reporter incident.”
“Does it have anything to do with the woman who was in the seat beside him?” Sunny asks quietly.
Dawn’s brown eyes scour my face.
The room falls silent again.
“Her name is Ashanti. She’s his ex-wife. They divorced when Niko was three, but they’re still really involved in each other’s lives. As you can see from the show tonight, he sat beside her, laughed with her, took pictures of Niko with her. They’re trying to be a family again.”
Vanya chews on her bottom lip.
Kenya glances down.
Sunny is the first to break the silence. “But wait a minute, that seat wasn’t for her.”
Dawn straightens. “She’s right. Sazuki came to the talent show alone.”
“Ashanti must have been running late,” I mumble. Shards of glass are rolling around in my gut. I don’t really want to discuss Ashanti and Sazuki’s second stab at a romance.
“No.” Sunny’s voice rises. “Darrel was chatting with him, so I wasn’t really paying attention. But I’m sure I heard him say that Niko called to invite you to the talent show and he was saving a seat for you.”
Dawn jumps in. “When his ex-wife—I didn’t know she was his ex at the time—but when she arrived, she took the seat, assuming it was for her. Sazuki didn’t ask her to sit there. He looked kind of annoyed, actually.”
“Doesn’t that mean he still has feelings for you?” Vanya points out.
A sprout of hope rises from the ashes, but I stomp it down. “It doesn’t matter. Ashanti will always be in his life, hovering around, waiting for her chance to slip in and get back with him.”
“A relationship is two-sided,” Dawn points out. “If he doesn’t open the door, she won’t have a chance to come in.”
“I want to trust him, but my faith in men resisting their exes is low.” My fingers tremble and I tuck them into my lap. “Things are so complicated. I want to protect myself. I’m afraid that I’ll give him everything and, one day, he’ll still choose the person that he walked away from. I can’t get over that.”
“I’ll be honest with you, Dejonae,” Sunny says. “I sat beside Sazuki today and, honestly, he looks about as broken as you do.”
Dawn agrees. “You can tell he’s exhausted. Max gets just like that when he’s overdoing it at work.”
Vanya looks down at me. “It seems like both of you have made the same decision. And you’re both running from it.”
“What are you talking about? What decision?”
“The decision to choose each other.”
Kenya nods along. “The important thing is whether or not the man loves you. If it’s clear that he loves you, then I say go for it.”
“But Ashanti—”
“If he wanted his ex wife, they would be together,” Sunny says.
Her words ricochet through me.
Vanya narrows her eyes. “Isn’t his misery a confirmation that the person he’s in love with isn’t his ex-wife at least? If he wanted her, she wouldn’t have to try so hard and neither would he. She’s there. Niko’s there. All he’d have to do is walk into that picture-perfect reality. But he hasn’t. Instead, he’s hoping you’ll sit beside him instead of her.”
“What if he doesn’t keep choosing me?” I croak, frightened out of my mind. “What if he gets up one day and doesn’t make that choice?”
Sunny speaks up, “My mom always told me that ‘love is a choice’. If he stops choosing you, then that wouldn’t be love.”
“I think we’ve all had our share of nicks and bruises from past relationships,” Dawn glances at the other women who all nod, “but the one thing Max has taught me about love, is that you can’t kill it. No matter how hard you try.”
As if on cue, all of their phones start ringing.
“The guys want to know why we abandoned them,” Kenya mumbles.
“You should head back.” I drum up a smile. “I’ll think about what you said tonight.”
“And remember, you can always stop by the farmhouse. You’re not just Vanya’s friend.” Sunny squeezes my hand. “You’re our friend too.”
“You’re going to make me cry,” I tease, pretending to wipe at my eye.
The women all give me hugs as they file out.
Vanya gives me the biggest one.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice muffled in her neck.
“Of course. You and the girls were there for me during a hard time too.”
“What hard time?” I ask.
Her eyes shift to the side. “We can talk about it later.”
I nod and close the door behind them.
In the silence, I get ready for bed and fall into the comforters that still smell like Sazuki, mint, and us no matter how much I’ve washed them. It’s one of the reasons why I haven’t been able to fall asleep lately.
Can I trust him? is the question that’s been running through my mind every night.
But after the girl chat, the question has changed a bit.
Do I want to live in a world where I don’t at least try?
Groaning, I roll to a sitting position and stare at the sun as it makes its way through my bedroom.
Another new day.
I check my phone.
The group chat is exploding with pictures of all the kids at the talent show, and all the couples hugging each other. I scroll for pictures of Sazuki and find one where he’s alone with Niko.
My fingers caress his face.
My heart pangs.
Ugh.
It’s going to be another long day.
I plod to school and find my seat in Mr. Howel’s class.
Taylor sashays past me, one hand on her school bag and the other twirling her blue hair. “It’s been a while since Sazuki picked you up after school, Darlene. Are you and daddy fighting?”
I wrap my headphones over my ears and ignore her.
If she keeps talking, I’m going to smack her in the mouth and then I’ll lose my scholarship. As satisfying as the thought is, I’ve learned my lesson after tussling with the reporter. My actions have consequences far beyond me.
Plus, she isn’t worth threatening my entire future.
Taylor laughs and trots away.
I glare into her back when she’s not looking. The moment graduation’s over, I’m going to find her in a dark alley and let her have it.
Until then…
I flip through my music theory book, the words blurring.
Mr. Howel enters the classroom. His eyes go straight to me. “Miss Williams, I’m still waiting on Sazuki to call me back.”
So am I, dude.
I give him a tight-lipped smile and hunker low in my seat.
Thankfully, Howel gets the hint and drops the subject.
I barely make it through class. The moment it’s over, I’m the first to head through the doors. I don’t want to hear another stupid comment from Taylor’s ignorant mouth.
The sun is hot on my skin, but inside I feel cold.
Everywhere I look, I see memories of Sazuki.
Him bounding up the stairs in his black jacket like a dream come to life.
Him and his bodyguards surrounding me on the path to the quad.
Even that black SUV reminds me of…
A woman pops out of the truck and I gasp. “Akira?”
“Miss Williams, if you have some time, I would like to speak to you.”
“Uh… about what?”
Akira pins her lips together. She looks particularly pale today with her slashing red lipstick and trim black pantsuit.
“Is there anywhere we can talk?”
“We can go to a café on campus.” I offer.
She nods and I lead her there. The café isn’t too crowded. There are a few students on their laptops, working quietly and sipping on their coffees.
Akira and I snag a free table.
She sits straight as a pin, her shoulders tense and her eyebrows knitted.
I wait for her to say something.
She doesn’t.
The silence makes me squirm. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
“So… is this about The Sazuki Foundation?”
“It is about Ryotaro.”
I jolt a little. Feeling off-kilter, I drag my hands off the table and set them in my lap to hide their trembling from her eyes.
Akira hesitates, her lips pursed, then she seems to come to a decision because she leans forward. Speaking in low, urgent tones, she says, “When Ryotaro got married, his family was largely against it. They threatened to kick him out. They turned their back on him. Through it all, he remained strong. He took responsibility for the woman he had slept with and the baby they had made. He was determined to do everything he could to make life better for them.”
I suck in a rasping breath, hating that I’m interested in Ashanti and Sazuki’s story despite the sharp pain that it brings.
“After the divorce, Ryotaro adjusted to the new normal. He willingly shared custody with his daughter, although his heart broke to have her so far away. He flew back and forth on many exhausting trips. He began to plan how he would move to America to spend more time with her. Through it all, he remained determined. He bore the setbacks with a relentless fire.”
I’m cupping my chin at this point. I don’t know if Akira was a storyteller back in Japan, but the way she’s weaving the threads together has me by the throat.
“No fear would stop him. No threats of being cut out of the family ancestry. No doubt about moving to a foreign country where he knew few people and had even fewer friends. Nothing has ever stopped Ryotaro Sazuki in his tracks… until you.”
I can’t name the feeling that slices me open at that moment. I swallow hard, digging my fingers into the table.
Akira’s eyes are as black as marbles. They hammer into me with a powerful force. “He is working, he is moving, he is breathing, but he is crumbling beneath it all, Miss Williams.”
“And you’re saying that’s my fault?”
“I am saying,” her voice cracks and she takes a moment to compose herself, “that I have watched over Ryotaro and his family since Niko’s birth. His mother sent me to America not only to protect her granddaughter, but to protect her son. Ryotaro is breaking down. We cannot remain uninvolved.” She leans forward. “I do not know why you and Ryotaro are no longer together, but if there is any part of you that still cares for him, I ask—humbly—that you either tell him so or put him out of his misery. I cannot watch from the sidelines while he lives in pain.”
I lick my suddenly dry lips.
“Please, Miss Williams.”
To my ever living surprise, Akira dips her head and bows to me.
