The second Lexi was out the door, I regretted every word I said. Fuck, I was a mess, but now I’d hurt her. That was unacceptable.
For the next two hours, I paced my living room, torn between staying put or calling someone to stay with Paisley so I could run out the door after Lexi. But I couldn’t leave my little girl, not after what happened today. I needed to make things good with Lexi, though. She was so damn important to me, and I wanted her to know that.
I took out my phone, starting to dial Lexi’s number when I heard a patter of feet on the staircase.
“Daaaaad?” Paisley asked.
“I’m in the kitchen.”
She ran toward me and hugged my waist. I put the phone on the counter. Maybe it was better. There was no way I could make this right over the phone. I hugged my daughter back with all I had.
“Daddy, can I have waffles?”
Today of all days, I couldn’t say no to her, so of course I gave in.
“Daddy, is Lexi here?”
No, because your father scared her off. Fuck me.
“No, honey. She went home for a bit.” What else could I say? I felt horrible.
“She’ll be back, right?”
“Yes, sweetheart.” As soon as Paisley was eating, I was going to call and apologize. I’d seriously messed this up.
While preparing the batter, I kept a close eye on her. She brought her coloring book to the island, singing one of her favorite soundtracks.
‘How are you feeling?’ I asked her a few minutes later, putting a waffle with a smiley face and a party hat on it in front of her. That made her smile. I ruffled her hair, standing right next to her. After today’s scare, I didn’t want to be farther away than necessary. I couldn’t.
‘I’m okay. Really. I’m so sorry I scared everyone, Dad.’
‘Hey, don’t worry. It’s okay. We all do things we don’t mean to when we’re upset.”
Like me with Lexi. Damn it.
I touched Paisley’s shoulder and pulled her into a half hug. I wanted to keep her safe from everything and everyone. But I didn’t get to hold her very long because she pushed me away, looking up at me.
‘I’m not a baby anymore. I’ll be ten soon. I understand stuff.’
‘What do you mean?’
She shrugged, taking a bite of her waffle. ‘I spoke to Mom, and she said she might take me to Disneyland for my next vacation. I know Mom’s life isn’t here anymore, so I won’t see her as much. And that’s okay. You’re here. And so is Lexi.’ She put her fork down, looking up at me. She seemed nervous.
‘What is it, Paisley?’
‘Dad, do you think Lexi would want to be my mom?’
Something twisted in my chest. Shit. I fucked up so badly. I honestly thought the answer to that was a resounding yes, but I’d hurt Lexi, so now I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
I cupped my daughter’s cheek. ‘I think Lexi loves you very much.’
‘I love her too, Dad. She’s the best mom I could hope for.’
And that thing in my chest kept twisting, remembering how upset Lexi was when she left here. At that moment, I wasn’t in the right headspace, but I should have kept my mouth shut instead of voicing my fears. It wasn’t fair to her.
Paisley focused on eating her waffles, clearly happy in her thoughts about Lexi. My mind was racing at one million miles an hour.
The doorbell rang, startling me.
‘Oh, that’s Grandma Beatrice,’ Paisley said.
‘How do you know?’
‘I spoke to her earlier on the phone. That’s why I woke up. She asked if she could come here. She was worried too.’ My daughter bit her lower lip. ‘Now she’ll see that I’m okay, and she won’t worry anymore. And we need to check the list for my birthday party.’
‘Go on and open the door for her.’
She slid down from the chair, leaving the half-eaten waffle on the plate as she darted out of the kitchen.
‘You gave us quite the scare, girl,’ Gran told Paisley seconds after I heard the front door open.
‘I know. I’m sorry, Grandma. I promise I won’t do it again.”
Both of them came into the kitchen.
“Where is your list for the party?” Gran asked.
“It’s on my iPad. I’ll go get it.”
‘Perfect. Your dad will keep me company in the meantime.’ Something in her voice alerted me that Paisley wasn’t the only reason she was here.
The second my daughter was out of the room, Gran sighed, shaking her head as she pointed at me. ‘Tate, Tate, Tate, what am I going to do with you?’
I hadn’t heard that tone of voice since I was a teenager. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You need to make things right with Lexi,’ she said without further ado.
I stared at her. ‘How do you know something is wrong?’
‘Because I called to talk to her about Paisley’s birthday and the poor girl was out of sorts.’
‘Fuck.’
‘Language,” she said, giving me the side-eye. “Listen to me, Tate. Lexi cares about you, and you care about her. And I’m going to give you some advice.’
I grimaced.
‘Don’t make that face. Your dad was all full of himself too when he thought he knew how to get your mom back.’
I frowned. ‘When did he have to? He never said anything.’
‘Of course not. Men don’t like to bring up things like that. Your grandfather and I were married for twenty-five years, and we only had one big fight where he almost lost me. And you know what he did after that?’
‘No, what?’ I asked, now curious and earnest.
‘He did everything to make sure I knew exactly how strongly he felt about me. Strong enough that we could go through whatever life had to throw at us together and still come out on the other side loving each other.’ She paused, and the words sank in. ‘Is that how you feel about Lexi?’
Lexi meant everything to me. She’d changed my life so much. She’d changed me.
‘Yes,’ I said without hesitation.
‘Good. Then make it clear to her in no uncertain terms. I don’t know what youngsters these days do that counts as big gestures. I’m old as dirt, so my ideas won’t be any good. I suggest you come up with something quickly. Make sure it’s romantic, because romance never goes out of fashion. And I’ll have one of those waffles too.”
‘Yes, ma’am.’
***
Lexi
Usually, I was in a good mood when I was working on crafts, but today, that wasn’t the case. I was working on the hand-painted decorations I’d promised Paisley for her birthday. I’d started yesterday after leaving Tate’s house, and today I jumped on them early in the morning. I only had until eight o’clock; then I was picking up Paisley’s birthday dress from Macy’s.
I sniffled and then shook my head, mad at myself. I didn’t want to be sad. I loved that girl. I loved Tate too. And I really, really hoped he would love me too, that he would believe in us, but clearly, he didn’t. And now I was at a loss as to what to do.
My phone rang, and I had to do a double take when I looked at the number. It was Reese.
Oh my God. Did something happen to Tate or Paisley?
I dropped the heart I’d been working on for the past half hour to answer the phone.
“Reese, hi! Is something wrong?”
“No, of course not.”
I pressed a palm to my chest to calm my racing heart. “You scared me. Umm… why are you calling?”
“Just wanted to let you know that I dropped by Macy’s and picked up Paisley’s dress so you can take that off your to-do list for the party.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
I pouted, taking in a deep breath. I’d been looking forward to picking up the dress. It gave me something to do since it was a Saturday.
“What are you doing now?” she asked in a chipper voice.
“I’m painting the fairy-themed decorations for the oak tree.”
“Want company? I’ve been told I’m excellent with heartbreak.”
My heart skipped a beat. What does she know? I opened my mouth to ask, then decided against it. I didn’t want any details.
“Thanks, but it’s not necessary. I’m going to finish the decorations today.”
“Hmmm, if you change your mind, call, okay?”
“Sure. Thanks, Reese.”
“You’re welcome.”
After hanging up, I picked up the heart I’d dropped, inspecting it for any damage. It was made of glass, but it seemed intact. Thank goodness. I was painting stars on it, and I’d only managed four so far. I still had ten to go.
***
The next two hours flew by. I finished three pine cones I’d sprayed gold and silver and painted five glass ornaments. My neck was stiff, and my back was hurting from sitting in the wrong position. I needed a break.
Rising to my feet, I grabbed my phone, pacing the living room. I’d put it on airplane mode so I wouldn’t be distracted. To my astonishment, I had three missed calls from Tyler.
Holy shit! I stopped in my tracks, feeling like my heart was about to jump through my rib cage. I called him right back. Something bad happened. I was sure of it.
“Finally,” he said instead of hello.
“Hey. What happened? Is someone hurt?” I asked, almost breathless.
“No, why would you think that?”
“You called me three times.”
‘Yeah, that’s because I need some advice. I want to take my woman to a super-romantic place to surprise her. Paisley told me you took her to a clearing that she loved, but she can’t remember how to get there.’ His voice sounded a bit off, but I couldn’t quite understand why. Maybe the idea of doing something romantic scared him. And even though my heart was heavy, that romantic streak flared up.
“Yes, it’s amazing. I think I can grab a snapshot on Google Maps and send it to you. I’m not sure, though, because I don’t know if all the trails are on it. I stumbled upon it by mistake.’
‘If it’s not too much trouble, could you show it to me? I have lots of time right now. I have to fill it up somehow.’
I was sad for him. It was a good thing that he was in a new relationship because he could at least draw some positive aspects from that and not think all the time about his accident and his career.
“You want us to go there?” I glanced at the crafts table. I still had three glass ornaments to paint. ‘When?’
“Tonight?”
“You know, it’s funny. I was supposed to pick up Paisley’s dress tonight, but Reese already did it, so I’m free.”
“Cool. Nine o’clock?”
“Hmm… it’s gonna be dark, but maybe that’s for the better. I think it looks even more romantic at night, but you’ll get a chance to check for yourself. I’ll text you the address nearest to it.”
‘Cool. Thanks, Lexi.’ His voice still seemed off, but I was going to get the bottom of it tonight. I could give him some advice too, if he wanted it. Not that I was an expert in romance, clearly, but if there was anything I could do to lift his mood, I was willing to try it.
I spent the rest of the afternoon finishing up the decorations, trying hard not to think about what would happen when I eventually had to drop them off at the house for the party. Would Tate even want to talk to me? I loved him to the moon and back, but I didn’t think I could stand to be on friendly, simple terms when it felt like my heart had a crack right in the middle of it.
At eight o’clock, I left my building and drove my Mini Cooper to the lake, cranking up the A/C because it was hot even at this time of night. When I arrived, Tyler wasn’t at our meeting point near the lake. I frowned, picking up my phone. I already had a message from him.
Tyler: Hey, I think I found the clearing.
Lexi: Oh, good. I’ll be there in a few minutes.
There was a thick patch of trees separating me from the clearing. I’d never been here in the evening, but it truly was even more romantic than during the day. My bruised heart gave a mighty sigh.
I walked through the trees, drawing in deep breaths and letting the fresh air fill my lungs. I arrived in the clearing a few minutes later, and I swear my heart stopped.
Tyler wasn’t there waiting for me at all.
It was Tate.
For a few seconds, I forgot how to breathe. My whole body was stiff. And then I found it in myself to move my legs.
He smiled, coming up to me. His eyes searched me, first my face, then down my body and back up.
‘I’m sorry for using subterfuge to get you here.’
‘I gather Tyler isn’t here at all.’
‘No.’
‘What’s going on?’ I whispered. I’d been so focused on him that I didn’t see what was next to him. There were a few blankets on the meadow, and on the blankets were flowers, as well as a basket with a bottle of champagne and glasses.
I looked from the blanket to Tate. His eyes were warm. He stepped closer to me, taking both my hands in his. ‘I hurt you, Lexi. And I’m so sorry about that.’
I was trembling slightly, not sure what to say.
‘So you brought me here,’ I said eventually, because he seemed to be waiting for a reaction.
‘Yes.’ His lips curled into a beautiful smile. ‘I was advised to make a grand gesture.’
For the first time since yesterday, I didn’t feel like I had a weight pressing down on my chest anymore. Something else entirely seemed to take hold of me. An immense joy swept through me, electrifying me from the tips of my fingers to my toes.
“By whom? Beatrice?” I whispered.
‘Exactly. And then I thought, what to do? I remembered you told me about this place, and I asked Paisley to show it to me.”
“Oh my God, that’s why Reese picked up Paisley’s dress. So I could have the evening free.”
His lip curled into a half smile. “That’s right.”
‘And where does Tyler come into this?’
“I needed a good reason to get you here. Something that wouldn’t make you suspicious.”
He kept my hand against his chest, looking me straight in the eye. ‘I was wrong, Lexi, in everything I said. What you and I have is stronger than everything. I know we can get through anything life throws at us. I want to be at your side for everything if you’ll still have me. I love you with all I have. With all I am.’
‘Tate, I…’ My voice trembled a bit. ‘I love you and Paisley. And I’d never do anything to hurt her.”
“I know. I’m sorry I said all those things. I believe in us. I’m going to spend every day proving it to you. Being the best version of myself, for you and for Paisley. For our life together.’
‘And how exactly do you plan to do that?’
‘I haven’t thought that far ahead, I confess.’
‘We’ll find a way,’ I said.
‘Together.’
‘Yes, together. I love you, Tate. Of course I want you in my life. I want to be next to you for each of those moments. For all of them. And enjoy them with you.’
I sensed relief coursing through him. His heartbeat intensified, but his muscles loosened. He tipped my head back, sealing his lips over mine. His mouth was soft and determined at the same time, his kiss deep and full of emotion and need for me.
Joy thrummed through my veins. I could feel it in every inch of my body, mixed with relief. He loved me, and he did want me in his life. He saw us together.
‘I love you,’ he whispered against my cheek. ‘So damn much.’
‘I can’t believe you brought us here. With champagne.’ My voice was full of emotion.
He kissed my temple before straightening up and looking me straight in the eyes.
‘I wanted tonight to be special, Lexi, so we both remember it.’
“I’m sure we will.” I kneeled on the blanket, picking up the bottle of champagne.
He effortlessly popped open the cork and poured two glasses. Then he growled, kissing me. I laughed against his mouth, struggling to keep the glass upright so it wouldn’t spill all over. But damn, the way this man kissed always made me forget my head and my manners and my decency. He always made everything else blur except him.
When we paused to breathe, I said, ‘You know, I always come here alone. I just came once with Paisley.’
‘And now with me.’ He sounded deliciously possessive.
‘You look pretty satisfied too.’ I guess that tickled his Neanderthal bone somewhere. Well, that was fine with me.
We clinked glasses, and I took a sip of the bubbly, letting it course through me. Tate held my other hand, fingers interlaced with mine like he didn’t want to let go of me. I flexed my fingers against his, smiling at him.
“I love you, Lexi. I told you once that you made me want. You made me feel. I want more of everything and you. Every damn day, I’m going to love you and prove to you how much you mean to me.”
“Tate Maxwell. You brought me to my favorite spot and have my favorite bubbly. What else do you have up your sleeve?’
He winked. “I’m not going to give away all my aces in one evening.”
“Hmm… pacing yourself. I like it. Besides, there isn’t anything more you could do. This evening is amazing.”
This evening was so magical that I knew I’d remember it for the rest of my life. Us here in my favorite spot under the moonlight, listening to the most romantic song with the man I loved. Life couldn’t get better than this. It was perfect.
‘I’d do anything for you, Lexi. Always.’
