The end of the breaking period: Day 14, hour 8
“You’ve been in a coma for three days.” John hovered inches away from me.
Finally, some good news. I shifted and regretted it as my arm fell through the hole in my cot.
“You could have died!” John’s brows were pinched with worry, and he didn’t move away to give me some space.
I rubbed my hand across my face and was pleased by the feel of smooth, cold skin.
I’d healed completely.
“Say something!”
I sighed heavily. “I’m trying to enjoy my coma and you’re ruining my peace.” People had no manners these days.
“Seriously?” John whined, “That’s all you have to say?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yay. I’m awake. Now I can be tormented by a vampyre who has the hair and temperament of a large horse. How’s that?”
John’s dark eyes were midnight black as his frown deepened. “You’re a real piece of shit, Aran.” He flashed two dimples. “I’m gonna fuck you up if you ever do that to me again.”
My shoulders relaxed, and I lightly punched his shoulder.
He gently punched me back.
I punched him harder.
He slammed his fist against my bicep, and bones creaked.
“Really?”
“Oh, man up.” To punctuate his statement, he punched me in the gut. A full wallop. “If you can take fire, you can take a punch.”
My eyes watered. “Not sure that’s how it works.”
“I make the rules, so I say it is. Don’t be a wimp. It’s awkward for everyone.” John smiled and pushed me over so he could lie next to me on the cot.
We didn’t fit.
He shoved me through the hole so I was half-smushed on the rocks.
But I couldn’t stop smiling.
There was something about John’s intense persona that put me on edge.
Like, when he was all dark and moody, our energies were too similar, but when he was all smiles and dimples, there was hope for us yet.
John’s dimples were a balm to my soul.
I couldn’t wait for him to meet Sadie.
Out of nowhere, red lights exploded as flames consumed me.
Oh, wonderful. I’m already having flashbacks.
I dug into my sweatshirt pocket and nearly wept with relief when I felt my pipe.
Lifting it to my lips, I closed my eyes.
The enchanted smoke filled my lungs with something blessedly close to indifference.
When I opened my eyes, the fire was gone.
I sighed out a ring of smoke. “So what did I miss?”
“Zenith, Horace, myself, and Malum lost our fights, so we spent an entire night in the Black Ocean. Since then, we’ve attended some classes and run twice, but it’s been pretty chill.”
“Sounds like paradise.”
Only a masochist would consider running twenty-plus miles at a sub-five-minute mile pace “chill.”
The sudden memory of Sadie trying to survive a singular mile had me chuckling.
She’d be so dead by now.
John’s voice filled with concern. “Just a heads-up. During our night in the ocean, Malum whispered all the ways he was going to kill you. I’ve never seen him so mad. No one has ever beaten him before. I’m pretty sure like ever. In his entire life. Plus, he said you were eye-fucking Orion and he was going to have to teach you a lesson.”
I laughed.
John shoved at me, and my face cracked against the jagged ground. “I told you not to do anything stupid with Orion, but you just couldn’t listen to me.”
“He’s cute,” I said defensively as I twirled my pipe expertly with my tongue. It felt right to have it back between my lips.
John choked. “He’s not cute, Aran. He’s one of the most powerful beings in all the realms. He’s a serial killer.”
I shivered with excitement.
Nice. Apparently, I wanted to die.
John was definitely being dramatic, but my heart rate increased at the thought of Orion as such a badass. Hot.
“So where is everyone now?” I expertly changed the subject.
“We’ve been off for the last three hours. Field training starts soon, and Lothaire’s just been waiting for you to wake up. The other guys are letting loose.”
I grunted at his unspoken words—all the men were fucking.
“Then why are you here and not letting loose?”
John winked suggestively. “Oh, I already had my fun. Don’t worry about me, Aran. Just thought I’d come check up on my little Smurf shish kebab.”
“What did you just call me?”
“You resemble a blue gnome’s skewered meat.” He waved his hand. “You know, since you were crispy.”
I laughed. “That’s some bullshit my friend Sadie would say.”
“Oooh, a lady friend. Is she hot?”
I imagined what Cobra would do to him if he ever tried to come onto Sadie. Her snake shifter mate would probably disembowel John. He’d done it before.
“Don’t be a pig.”
This damn assassin program was a constant reminder that men were inferior to women in every way.
Like how were they even functioning? I didn’t get it.
Not that I was doing much better.
If Sadie were here, she would wrap her arms around my shoulders and sob for me while we cuddled and talked shit about Malum.
It would have healed me.
John lazed beside me on the cot and watched me smoke. The punch to the stomach had been nice (my abs still throbbed), but it wasn’t enough.
My soul was not healed.
It fucking ached.
John shrugged, and his pointy shoulder shoved me harder into the rocks as he spoke. “Well, maybe I’ll get to meet her at friends-and-family week. We have a week for visitors in about a month. They use an enchantment to find those close to us, and it’s basically just a massive party to help boost morale.”
I’d get to hug Sadie.
A bright kernel of excitement burst through my chest. It was so startling and foreign that it took me a moment to realize what it was.
Happiness.
“Egan finally decided to wake the fuck up.” Malum’s deep voice filled the small space as the other recruits stomped into the barracks.
Good vibes died a swift death.
Scorpius sneered, “Aw, he’s not dead. That’s too bad. Now I owe Orion fifty thousand credits.”
I rolled my eyes and tried not to feel pleased that Orion had bet a small fortune on my surviving.
It was kind of romantic.
I cracked my forehead against the ground and focused on smoking. At this rate, Dr. Palmer was going to heavily medicate me.
Hopefully max dosage.
“Why are you sharing a cot with John?” Malum suddenly sounded pissed off.
“Just two bros chilling, killing, and spilling the gossip.” John took the pipe from my mouth and blew on it. “Oooh, that’s the good shit.”
I grimaced as I pulled it from his lips and wiped it on my shirt.
He was making us sound so lame.
Why had I befriended him?
Horace stood over us, and his yellow eyes glowed. “You don’t smell good anymore, Aran.”
Sun god, give me strength.
“Sorry, I’ll have to set myself on fire again so I can smell good to you, Horace.”
The vampyre stilled.
I tensed my muscles, prepared to throw John at him as a sacrifice so he wouldn’t hurt me.
John noticed me trying to hide behind him. “Really, Aran? People have no loyalty these days.”
He put his arms behind his head, and his elbow slammed into my temple.
“Ow, what the fuck, John?”
John bounced up and down on my cot like he was trying to ruin it more. “You know for a dude that was just all flaming and, frankly, psychotic, you’re being very dramatic.”
“You just elbowed me!”
Dimples flashed as John wrapped his bicep around my neck and aggressively ruffled my hair. “Come on, be a man and fight.”
“You have the personality of a rock.” I pinched his forearm until he let me go.
“Thanks!” John kept smiling.
A harsh, breathy rasp burst from Horace, who was still staring down at us like a creep. “You’re funny, Aran.” He leaned forward and plucked the pipe out of my fingers like John had.
I growled and tensed.
Horace took a long drag from the pipe, his deadly fangs flashing. “I’ve had better.” He dropped it back into my hand, then walked away, pulling his clothes off.
Now I couldn’t smoke until I’d cleaned it.
Fuck them.
“Damn, I think Horace likes you. That’s really good for your chances of survival.” John smiled as he climbed off my mangled cot and pulled down his pants.
Penis!
Ever been violated? Same.
My eyes burned, and I pinched my nose with my fingers.
Once again, against my will, I was surrounded by nude men changing.
“Oh, fae man, you’re awake.” Shane sauntered into the barracks. Beside him, Noah scowled. Demetre’s pink eyes were flat and unreadable.
“Yep,” I said awkwardly as I hid my pipe in my pocket.
I didn’t know what the drug use policy was.
“Just in time. Lothaire told us to get everyone ready to leave. We’re doing a special activity to celebrate the end of the ‘breaking period.’ It’s a tradition.”
Demetre walked over and handed me a pile of black clothes that had bright-red markings. And I realized everyone was changing into them.
His pink eyes were hard as rose quartz, but he nodded at me.
For a moment, I was dumbstruck. Whenever I was around the famed half warrior that shifted into a dragon, he glowered with vitriol. Now he seemed almost approachable. More normal.
Like he had been when I was a teen and he’d befriended me. Before he hated me.
“Thanks.”
Demetre’s lips pulled up in a half smile, and I almost fell off my cot in shock.
I’d never seen him smile.
However, the moment was fleeting. He turned around, massive muscles rippling, as he stalked out of the barracks with the other warriors.
Weird.
“Ninety seconds until we leave!” Lothaire yelled outside.
The room erupted in a frenzy of movement.
“I gotta piss,” I said dramatically as I ran behind the barrier in front of the toilet to change.
With impressive speed, I pulled on the new clothes.
The material was expensive and buttery soft, and the outfit was much tighter than the heavy sweat suit.
It was so tight that I was grateful the enchantment created the illusion of a bulge at my crotch. I wasn’t sure how it worked, since it didn’t actually give me a penis, but I was grateful for it since the clothes fit like a second skin.
A part of me wanted to compare my bulge to Malum’s to see whose was bigger.
I blamed sleep deprivation.
For a long moment, I admired the bright-red stripes that crisscrossed over my biceps, chest, and thighs.
It looked pretty intense, and I loved it.
Once upon a time, I’d loved playing dress-up and wearing nice clothes.
I barely remembered what it was like to care about small things like looking nice. Fashion. Art. Expression. They were all luxuries that I didn’t know I’d loved until I lost them.
Crammed behind a shoddy metal wall in front of a toilet, sadness washed over me.
I mourned. For the feminine parts of me that were smothered away. Maybe lost forever. The softer, lighter ones that had no place in an assassin academy filled with warriors.
“Out of my way.” Malum shouldered past me and slammed me against the wall.
Before I could blink, he whipped out his cock and started peeing.
Who did that?
Rude.
“Gross.” I covered my eyes. His heady whiskey-and-tobacco scent filled the small space.
“What are you whining about now, pretty boy? You afraid to look?”
A weird feeling pinched my lower stomach.
“I’m reporting you,” I said as I stumbled away from him as fast as possible into the jumble of men rushing out the door.
Malum laughed and yelled over the clamor, “To who?”
Since we were training to be assassins for the High Court who oversaw realm wide peace, we would be the law. A terrifying thought.
Plus, if I complained to Lothaire, he’d probably just beat me with his baton and tell me to “man up.” If it wasn’t clear, I hated the male species.
“Let’s go.” John tugged me along.
Before I knew it, we stood in a line at attention while a homicidal vampyre with anger issues lectured us on not being pathetic.
Literally.
Lothaire kept repeating, “You need to start acting stronger and less like weak little bitches.”
We stood and took it.
He spoke with disgust as he looked us up and down, “As is tradition, Lyla is going to lead us on a retreat.”
I gulped.
It was never a good thing when the witch got involved. Usually, she was on standby to heal us during the worst training exercises.
Plus, there was that one time she’d told me I was selfish.
Was I selfish? Probably.
But you still didn’t just tell people things like that to their faces. She could have at least given it in a compliment sandwich.
For example, “Aran, you have great abs. You’re a little selfish. But you‘re also a loyal, great friend.”
That was how I would have done it.
Lothaire brandished a glowing, circular device. “We’re taking an RJE and going off realm. Lock arms.”
Realm jumping enchantment? I knew they were virtually impossible to get, because Mother had always raged that she couldn’t get her hands on one.
That was the only warning we got.
Lothaire held a small, glowing white ball in his hands, and when he reached out, the world disappeared in flames.
We ripped through time and space.
My head spun as I stumbled around. Wet leaves crunched beneath my feet, and I was enveloped in warm rain.
Everything was different.
The red sun and black rocks were replaced with gray skies, green foliage, rushing water, and rustling branches.
Trees towered around us.
Lyla stood beside us, which was weird because I swore she hadn’t been with us before.
For the first time, the witch wasn’t wearing a dress. Instead, she had on tight garments similar to ours, but hers were emerald green.
Hers were prettier.
The white runes on her dark skin glowed impossibly bright as she stared at us with a serene expression.
Green hair floated around her head like it defied gravity. She wasn’t touching the ground.
Wait a second.
I wasn’t touching the ground.
None of us were.
We all floated inches off the forest floor. My body slowly drifted downward onto twigs. I tensed my thighs and gave a small jump. I floated a few feet higher.
I was flying.
Elation bubbled up my throat, and I giggled uncontrollably.
Whatever realm we’d jumped to had weak gravity.
My limbs were light, and delicious, warm rain pattered gently against my skin like a caress.
I breathed in deep.
Even the air was different.
There was no sulfuric stain. No harsh, pungent aroma that made your eyes water.
It was fresh and crisp with a smoky undertone. Like drinking a refreshing glass of water.
It was intoxicating.
I barely stopped myself from throwing my hands into the air and spinning like a fae ballerina.
The other recruits floated with scowls on their faces and didn’t look impressed. Even John twisted back and forth like he was uncomfortable with the lack of gravity.
I swallowed down another giggle as I pushed off higher into the air.
It was everything.
Lothaire’s angry voice was muted by the peaceful sound of rushing water. “Lyla will lead you through a practice to prepare you for what’s to come. I recommend you focus because your sorry asses are going to need all the help you can get.”
I gulped with trepidation.
Lyla nodded gracefully, and the runes on her skin glowed brighter.
The patter of rain became a loud rush as the gray sky opened up in a downpour that turned the spaces between the rustling trees dark.
Lyla opened her mouth, and words I’d never heard spilled out like the richest honey.
She chanted.
I inhaled deeply. Clean wood-smoked air cleansed my lungs.
Water streaked across my face.
Rain filled the forest.
Lyla stopped chanting. “Follow my practice. I will lead you through a soul cleansing.”
The witch grabbed the bottom of her foot and slowly lifted it above her head. She levitated in the air and spun in a circle.
“Close your eyes.”
I obeyed, grabbing my foot and pulling it high.
Her voice mixed with the rain; the rain mixed with the endless emptiness of existence.
I spun slowly. In a forest.
Far away.
“Very good, Aran,” Lyla praised, and Malum said something nasty under his breath.
Scorpius grumbled, “Don’t tell me Egan can do this shit.”
“Holy fuck, Aran,” John said.
I gritted my teeth as the men ruined my inner peace. Yet again.
Had they no sense of decency?
Opening my eyes, I was surprised to see that they were all struggling to lift their legs above their waists.
In contrast, mine was hyperextended, foot against my head as I easily held a standing split.
I might have noticed Orion staring at me with an impressed expression, and I might have pulled my foot a little straighter and spun faster.
He stared, transfixed.
I flashed a gloating smirk at Malum, who was looking at me like he wanted to set me on fire. Again.
The half warriors were a little more flexible but not by much.
Shane whistled. “I’m impressed, fae man.”
I tried not to grimace at the growing familiarity of the man who wanted to murder me violently.
Lyla led us into another pose, and I closed my eyes and tipped my head back to the sky.
Water washed over me.
It was euphoric. It was everything.
For the first time in a very long time, tension drained from my body, and I lost myself in the stillness of just being alive.
I opened my ears.
The forest whispered the secrets to inner peace.
Lyla hummed silky-smooth words.
The downpour cleansed away phantom flames.
My body contorted to its limits.
I floated in the stillness of a dreamy forest.
In the haze, I fell away from my sense of self.
For the first time in forever.
Everything was okay.
And I was free.
