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Refuge: Chapter 19


I AWOKE SLOWLY inside a deliciously warm cocoon that I never wanted to leave. Blissfully happy, I sighed and snuggled against the source of the warmth.

“Good morning.”

It took several seconds for the voice to register in my brain. My eyes shot open and the first thing I saw was sunlight pouring through a window. The second thing was the wide chest beneath my cheek. I blinked a few times, trying to clear my muddled head, and I soon wished I hadn’t when I realized where I was and, more importantly, whom I was sprawled across.

“Morning,” I mumbled, too embarrassed to move.

A hand moved against my back. “How do you feel?” Nikolas asked in a husky morning voice that made my stomach quiver.

Last night came rushing back, and I remembered every humiliating detail of my time on his bathroom floor, followed by our conversation and him holding me on the couch. What I did not remember was falling asleep or how I had ended up in my current position.

“Good,” I said hoarsely. “Considering.”

“Considering the gallon of alcohol you threw up, you mean?” I didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling. I scowled at his chest. Good to know one of us was enjoying this.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” I pushed away from him and sat up, unable to meet his eyes. Smoothing my hair back from my face, I wondered how things would be between us now. Emotions had run high last night, and we’d said too much, shared too much, for us to go back to the relationship we’d had a day ago. I was happy with that, but I had no idea how Nikolas felt in the light of day.

“Are you going to look at me?”

“I hadn’t planned on it.”

He laughed softly and sat up. “You know you can’t avoid me forever.”

I focused on the blue sky outside the window. “What makes you think I can’t?”

“Because you like me . . . a lot.

My face grew hot and I turned to glare at him, but whatever I was going to say was forgotten when I took in his tousled hair, warm eyes, and sensual smile. My stomach did a somersault, and my only thought was that I wanted to go back and wake up in his arms all over again.

His smile grew as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “See, that didn’t take long.”

“Shut up,” I retorted, and he laughed again.

He put a hand through his dark hair, and my insides squeezed again. It was so unfair for him to look this good in the morning when I probably looked like crap, especially after last night. And I didn’t even want to think about what my breath must smell like. I could probably take down a vampire just by breathing on him.

“Are you okay?” he asked with more seriousness. “With us?” The uncertainty in his eyes made me want to hug him. God, one night on the couch with him and I was a sentimental mess.

I nodded. “Are you . . . okay with it?”

“Yes.” His smile was so tender, I suddenly felt shy.

I got to my feet. “Excuse me; I need to use your bathroom and about a bottle of mouthwash.”

He smirked. “Help yourself.”

Standing before the bathroom mirror, I grimaced at my tangled hair and puffy eyes. I splashed cold water on my face and did my best to comb through my hair with my fingers. Nikolas’s brush lay on a shelf, but it felt too intimate to use his personal things.

Yeah, because using him for a bed wasn’t personal at all.

I was gargling my second mouthful of mouthwash when I heard a knock on the outer door, followed by male voices. The last thing I wanted was for someone to know I had spent the night here with Nikolas. I quietly spat out the mouthwash and wiped my mouth with a towel, waiting for his visitor to leave.

I did not expect the knock on the bathroom door. “Sara, do you mind coming out here for a minute?” Nikolas called through the door.

Oh crap! Nikolas wouldn’t expose me to gossip so that meant there was only one person who could be out there with him. “Sure,” I said nervously and smoothed my hair again before I opened the door.

Tristan stood in the living room, looking equal parts worried and angry as he took in my disheveled appearance. At least my wrinkled clothes were evidence that I had slept in them. I glanced at Nikolas’s tousled hair and bare feet that suggested he had just woken up. Seeing us together, I could only imagine what Tristan thought.

“Nothing happened,” I blurted out. “I got drunk and Nikolas took care of me. That’s it.”

He nodded, but his expression did not change. “Nikolas already explained it to me, and I told him he should have brought you back to your own room or to my apartment down the hall.”

Nikolas smiled, completely unfazed by Tristan’s scolding. “And I told him that whatever transpires between the two of us is no one’s business but ours.”

“Sara is not yet eighteen, Nikolas, and her uncle trusts me to take care of her. That includes her virtue and – ”

“Oh my God, you did not just go there,” I croaked in mortification. Nikolas coughed, and I shot him a warning look. If I heard even one snicker out of him, the bond wasn’t the only thing he had to worry about me breaking.

Tristan raised his hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to embarrass you, but in your situation, you cannot take sex lightly. It would – ”

“Gah!” I made a beeline for the door. Both of them called to me, but it would take a legion of demons to keep me in that apartment. I slammed the door behind me and ran down the hallway. Who the hell gets a sex talk from their grandfather, and in front of the guy she spent the night with? Tristan and I were going to have a serious talk about boundaries. At least Nate never tried to step into that territory.

Thinking about Nate reminded me today was Thanksgiving and he wasn’t going to be here. I could smell the delicious aromas already coming from the kitchen, but it meant nothing knowing Nate could not enjoy them with me. How could I enjoy dinner knowing he was alone and sick?

“Sara, you missed the rest of the party and . . . Hey, where are your shoes?” Josh said when I passed him on the stairs.

I stared down at my stockinged feet and realized that my shoes were still in Nikolas’s living room, where I’d kicked them off last night. “Don’t ask,” I mumbled and hurried past him to hide the heat rising in my cheeks.

* * *

“Nate, it’s me again. Just calling to see how you’re feeling. I know you’re probably asleep right now, but give me a call when you get this. Okay?”

I laid down the phone and stared at it for a long moment. It was the third time I’d called him today and he hadn’t picked up once. Yesterday, I’d spoken to him for a few minutes after lunch and he’d said he was sleeping a lot because of the drugs prescribed by his doctor. He hadn’t sounded like himself at all. Worry gnawed at me. Was it normal to sleep this much with pneumonia? Was he eating enough? I decided to call him in another two hours, and if he didn’t pick up, I would be on the next plane east whether he wanted me to or not.

I walked over to the window to stare out at the thick blanket of snow sparkling in the last rays of the evening sun. I had never seen snow at Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t help but admire the breathtaking picture created by the snow-laden forest with the mountains rising in the distance. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

Turning from the window, I glanced at my alarm clock and saw it was after five. Everyone else was most likely downstairs for the big dinner. I exchanged my T-shirt for a nice top and brushed out my hair. I wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit, but Tristan was looking forward to our first Thanksgiving together and he would be hurt if I didn’t go. I would not do that to him just because I was down in the dumps about Nate.

It would be my first Thanksgiving with Nikolas too. Warmth filled me when I thought about waking up in his arms. He had been so tender and open last night, and he said we would take our time and figure this out together. What did that mean? Would he kiss me again? My stomach fluttered wildly and I touched my lips, remembering our first kiss, his mouth exploring mine and his heady scent. I definitely hoped he would do that again.

A knock at my door tore me from my daydream, and I blushed at how much one kiss could affect me. “One minute,” I called, trying to compose myself. When I’d seen Jordan at lunch, I’d made the mistake of telling her I was not in the mood for Thanksgiving dinner. She’d told me if I didn’t show up, she was coming to get me. Apparently, she decided not to wait.

“What are you doing here?” I stammered, staring at the last person I had expected to find at my door.

“I don’t think that is the proper way to greet the person escorting you to dinner, little one.”

I stepped outside. “Dinner? In the library?”

Desmund smiled with an ease I had never seen in him. “Tristan would not forgive me if I kept you all to myself today. Not to mention a certain warrior who would take umbrage with me as well.” He reached around me and shut my door. “Tristan told me how disappointed you were that your uncle could not be here. I know I am a poor replacement for him, but I hope you’ll allow me to keep you company in his stead.”

A lump formed in my throat. Desmund had left his sanctuary and was willing to go among all those people for me? Was this really the same man I’d met just three short weeks ago? He appeared strong and self-assured, and he looked a lot healthier than he had in weeks. But was he ready to face all those people so soon?

“You are so sweet, but you don’t have to do that. I know how much you dislike crowds.”

His mouth turned up in an arrogant smirk. “Correction, my dear, I dislike everyone. Present company excluded, of course.” He presented his arm to me. “Shall we?”

I took his arm. “Okay, but you have to promise to try to be nice to my friends.”

He made a harumph sound. “Let’s not push it.”

Laughter and the rumble of voices reached us as we neared the first floor. Desmund paused for a moment at the bottom of the stairs and I worried again that this was too much for him to take on all at once.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind having dinner upstairs. I’m not that good with crowds.”

He patted my arm. “I’ve dined with kings and czars. A few warriors are nothing. Just follow my lead.”

When we entered the dining hall no one seemed to notice us, and I gave a little sigh of relief. It did not last long. Olivia saw us first, and I watched her eyes widen as she forgot what she was saying to Mark. He turned around to see what had distracted her, and his mouth fell open. One by one, people stopped talking and heads turned our way until silence fell over most of the room.

Desmund led me across the floor, and people parted like the Red Sea to let us pass. To avoid their questioning stares, I looked at the tables that were set with nice linens and china for the holiday with candles flickering in pretty centerpieces. At home, Nate and I did the turkey and trimmings, but we didn’t make a big deal of decorating or pulling out the good china. This was a lot more festive than any holiday dinner I’d been to.

We stopped at a table at the end of the room. Ignoring our audience, Desmund pulled out a chair for me facing the room. I sat, and he took the one next to me then leaned in close and said, “You see; nothing to it.”

Before I could answer, Tristan joined us. “Desmund, I’m glad you decided to dine with us this evening.”

“I thought a change of scenery was overdue, my friend.” Desmund perused the occupants of the room and I noticed his gaze lingered appreciatively on Terrence. I couldn’t blame him; Terrence was gorgeous. I debated whether or not to tell him Terrence was straight, but then I thought, who was I to ruin his fun?

Tristan took the seat on my right. “I’m happy you joined us,” he said in a lowered voice. “I know it’s not the same for you without Nate.”

“No, but I still have family here with me.”

He smiled, and then his eyes slid to Desmund. “Did you . . . ?”

I gave the smallest shake of my head. “His idea,” I mouthed.

“Well, this should make for a fun evening.” Chris pulled out the chair across from Tristan and winked at me like I should be in on some private joke. “I see you’re still kicking, Desmund.”

Desmund inclined his head. “Christian, it is good to see you again.”

Chris looked from Desmund to me, and I ignored the question burning in his eyes. Like everyone else here, he wanted to know what I was doing with Desmund. I had no intention of satisfying their curiosity at the moment.

The noise level in the room began to rise again as people got over their shock and started to talk quietly among themselves. Someone came by and filled our water glasses, and I sipped my water as Desmund and Tristan talked about people they knew from a long time ago. A waving arm caught my eye and I spotted Jordan, who was giving me the “you have some explaining to do” look from the other side of the room. I smiled and shrugged, and she shot me the “don’t even think you are getting out of this” look.

One person was noticeably absent. I was wondering if Nikolas was going to join us when he walked into the room. My heart did a little skip when his eyes found mine and he started toward us. Then his gaze shifted to my left and surprise registered on his face when he saw my dinner companion. It was quickly followed by a scowl, and it was obvious he was not happy to see Desmund beside me. I hoped he was not going to make a big deal of it. Bond or no bond, I was still going to pick my own friends whether he liked them or not.

“Hey,” I said breathlessly when he sat across from me. I gave him a timid smile, not sure how to act around him now.

“Hey,” he replied, his eyes noticeably softer. He greeted Tristan and Chris then looked at Desmund. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

Desmund chuckled. “As am I, but I am feeling quite like my old self again of late. It’s miraculous really.”

“Is that so?” Nikolas gave me a suspicious glance. “I wonder what could have caused it.” The look in his eyes promised we would talk later.

“If I could credit it to anything, it would be my charming little friend here.” Desmund laid a hand over mine on the table, and Nikolas’s eyes narrowed. I could tell by Desmund’s tone that he was enjoying himself immensely, and I groaned silently. “I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed our evenings together.”

Nikolas eyes glinted dangerously, and I wanted to kick Desmund for his devilry. Surely Nikolas knew Desmund was gay and only messing with him, right? I gave Chris a helpless look and found him trying to suppress a grin. Now I knew what he’d meant when he said this was going to be fun. At this rate, we weren’t going to make it to the first course.

“We play checkers,” I clarified, and Nikolas’s gaze swung back to me. “One of these days I might actually beat him.”

“Checkers. How quaint.” Celine slid into the chair next to Nikolas wearing a sapphire blue dress so tight I was surprised she could sit without splitting a seam. She leaned toward him and gave a throaty laugh, her barely covered chest on display. “Although, I can think of much more entertaining ways to spend an evening.”

Nikolas smiled, and I had a sudden desire to kick him under the table. That, or remind him that I could zap Mohiri, too. The only question was whether to do it to him or Celine first. I would not forget how she had lied to me and tried to manipulate me into breaking the bond with Nikolas.

“Ah, the beautiful Celine,” Desmund said, earning a smile from her. “Did I ever tell you that you remind me of a courtesan I knew once in King George’s court? She was stunning to look upon and much sought after.”

Celine toyed with her hair. “You flatter me, Desmund. Was she someone of noble birth?”

“No, but I believe she serviced a duke or two.”

I choked on my water. Tristan reached over to pat my back, while smiling graciously at the outraged woman. “Celine, I have a Beaujolais that would go lovely with this meal. If I remember correctly, you prefer French wines.”

She tossed her hair, only slightly mollified. “That would be lovely, Tristan.”

Tristan called over a server and requested the wine. While he waited, he stepped in to steer the conversation to safer subjects. He talked about the teams he had sent to Las Vegas after the young couple from town had returned home as vampires. It might just be a coincidence that two local people vacationing in Las Vegas had run into a vampire, but he was not taking any chances. In addition to searching Nevada, he had posted several people in town to keep an eye on things.

“You think they’re up to something?” I asked, pleased that he was finally willing to discuss it in front of me.

“Vampires are always up to something,” Nikolas replied for him. “It’s our job to anticipate what they will do next.”

I knew I was safe here, but a shiver passed through me. I had learned firsthand how crafty and resourceful vampires could be – and determined. Eli’s Master had enlisted the help of a dying sheik and a Hale witch to get their hands on me. Thank God the Master thought I was dead or who knew what he would come up with next.

The wine arrived, and Tristan poured a glass for Celine then asked me if I would like some. The memory of hanging over Nikolas’s toilet made me almost gag at the thought of drinking alcohol. “No thank you,” I managed to say. I avoided looking at Nikolas, but out of the corner of my eye I saw his knowing smirk.

While we were talking, everyone else took their seats. Tristan gave the servers the signal to start serving the meal; then he stood and addressed the room.

“My friends, it has been another great year for us. We’ve had many successful missions and saved countless lives. There is no greater reward for a warrior than to fulfill the destiny we were created for.”

“We have a fine group of trainees who will soon be warriors themselves, and I am proud of each and every one of them.” He looked down at the people around our table and continued. “I am especially blessed to be spending the first of many Thanksgivings with my granddaughter.”

Warmth filled me at the emotion in Tristan’s normally calm voice. He wasn’t the only one who had been blessed this year. The last few months had been difficult and life-changing for me, but I had gotten so much in return. I had a grandfather and a cousin I hadn’t known existed a few months ago and new friends.

And Nikolas.

I looked at him and found him watching me. Our gazes met, and for a moment there was no one in the room but the two of us. The gleam in his eyes told me I wasn’t the only one remembering last night and all that had been said between us. It wasn’t that long ago that I wished him out of my life, and now I could not imagine my life without him in it.

A server placed a bowl of soup in front of me, breaking the spell between me and Nikolas. Soon everyone at our table, except me and Desmund, was talking about council business. On my left, Desmund was quiet and I figured he found council talk as boring as I did.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” I said to him. “I wish Nate could have been here, too. I really wanted you to meet him.”

He dabbed his mouth with his napkin. “He will come as soon as he is well, correct?” I nodded, and he smiled. “Then he and I will have plenty of time to get to know one another.”

Dessert was being served when Ben came to whisper something to Tristan. I could not make out what was said, but Tristan wore a puzzled expression when he stood and excused himself.

“The rest of the world doesn’t take a holiday when we do,” Nikolas said when I looked at him. His easy manner usually put my mind at rest, but it didn’t this time. A tiny knot of anxiety formed in my stomach. Call it intuition or paranoia, or just a history of bad things happening around me, but something did not feel right.

I laid down my napkin and pushed back my chair. “Excuse me.”

Nikolas, Desmund, and Chris stood at the same time like perfect gentlemen. “Is everything all right?” Nikolas asked.

“Yes. I just . . . I need to check on something. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“She’s fine, gentlemen,” Celine scoffed, put out by the lack of attention being paid to her. “She doesn’t need an escort to go to the ladies room.”

For once, I was glad for Celine’s presence. “She’s right. Please, finish your dessert.”

The three men took their seats again. Nikolas was the last to sit, and I saw the doubt in his eyes. I didn’t know if it was the bond or our history together, but he was getting way too good at reading me. Soon it would be impossible to keep anything from him.

I exited the room and turned toward the main hall. I didn’t know why, but something told me to go that way and intuition was all I had right now. When I rounded the corner, I saw the open front door and my steps picked up. I neared the door and heard male voices outside, one of whom was Tristan. Wintry air hit me when I reached the door, but that did not deter me. The same gut feeling that had made me leave the table, told me I needed to go out there and see who was on the other side of the door.

The cold sucked the air from my lungs when I stepped outside, and I wrapped my arms around me for warmth. The night was dark because the moon had not yet risen, but there was enough light around the entrance to see Tristan standing at the bottom of the steps with Ben, and they were alone and facing the driveway as if they waited for someone. Maybe it was someone from the council. It must be someone important to make Tristan leave dinner and stand out in the cold to wait for them.

The sound of a vehicle reached me before I saw headlights coming up the long driveway. Soon a white van with the name of a Boise airport shuttle service on the side pulled up and stopped a short distance from the steps. I watched as the driver got out and slid open the back door on his side, which faced away from us. There was a murmur of voices and creaking sounds and finally the crunch of feet on snow as he shut the door and came around the front of the van. He was alone and empty-handed, and I stared at him in confusion. What was he doing? Who had he been talking to?

Movement drew my attention from the driver, and I let out a loud gasp at the man coming around the corner of the van in a wheelchair.

“Nate!”

It all made sense now, why he hadn’t answered his phone today; he had been flying out here to spend the holiday with us. My heart threatened to explode from happiness.

A wide smile split Nate’s face, and he stopped beside the driver. “I hope I’m not too late for dinner.”

“You are just in time, my friend,” Tristan said graciously. “Why did you not tell me you were coming? I would have sent our plane for you.”

I laughed and flew down the stairs. Later, I would scold Nate for travelling against the doctor’s orders. Right now, all I wanted to do was hug him. Then he was going to get all the turkey dinner he could eat followed by the biggest piece of pumpkin pie he’d ever seen. I was going to feed him so well he would never want to leave.

It hit me just as my feet touched the bottom step, the sensation that someone had stabbed an icicle into my chest. Gasping, I skidded to a stop beside Tristan and stared in confusion at Nate, and then in dawning horror at the van driver who had stepped behind Nate’s wheelchair.

Oh God no.

“Vampire!” I screamed.

Tristan grabbed my arm, and Ben drew his sword. The driver’s eyes went wide and he whirled to look behind him. Nate sat calmly in his chair.

The chair creaked as Nate leaned forward. I watched mutely as he put one foot then the other on the ground. His gaze met mine, and his mouth curved upwards in a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.

“No,” I uttered, choking on the word.

He stood and my world crumbled around me.


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