The next week passes by in excruciating torture, the days growing warmer now that we’re nearing the height of the English summer. Sure, we still get a couple of dull, rainy days—this is Britain after all—but on the whole, we are blessed with blue, cloudless skies, a complete juxtaposition to the twisting storm that’s spiralling inside me.
This nauseating mix of hope and despair swirls in my stomach like curdled milk; knowing that my time being held captive here is coming to an end, but that it won’t be without bloodshed. I’m hoping that it’ll be just my uncle’s lifeforce staining the walls, but there’s always the chance that someone I care about will be caught in the crossfire.
I manage to message the guys every day, and even a few whispered FaceTime calls late at night, Roman and Rowan leaving the room to allow us to talk in privacy. I find seeing my guys heartbreaking and comforting in equal measure. Feeling so close, yet so far away, leaves my soul keening when we hang up and I’m returned to my isolation.
The day of reckoning arrives, another beautiful, clear morning with the dawn chorus serenading the sparkling dew on the clipped lawns surrounding the house. I was ready before Mai even got here, my mind restless and unable to settle into a deep sleep last night, regardless of how tired my body was.
“Can we go outside?” I beg, and she laughs at my widened, pleading eyes.
“Sure, I mean, it’s like seven in the morning, but what the hell!”
I grab her arm, almost causing her to drop my tray of granola and fresh juice.
“You must eat first,” she orders, her voice stern yet a smile teasing her mouth. “Then we can go.”
“Fiiine!” I pout, letting her arm go and rushing over to the table in front of the window where I take all my meals.
After a rushed shovelling of cereal in my gob, I’m practically hopping on my feet as I drag her to the doorway, a chuckle escaping her whilst she opens the door. Unlike Jacky, she’s never locked it. The freedom the unlocked door offered was an illusion and one that I just couldn’t force myself to fall for. My uncle could be around every corner, every turn, and I can’t let him know that Mai is on my side. Plus, I don’t want to face that jizzcheese wanker anytime soon, even with one of the twins by my side.
I questioned her about the other midwife, desperate to know if she was party to my uncle’s plot, but as far as Mai knows, Jacky was told that I was a danger to myself and my unborn child due to ‘mental instability,’ hence the need for sedation and monitoring. Mai knows this because she was told the same, my uncle not realising that she was connected to The Shadows and put into place by my Knights.
Mai also told me that the drug I’d been given is a type of strong antihistamine, and it’s basically an antihistamine that, if given in high enough doses, can cause nightmares, dizzy spells, plus feeling tired all the time and unsteady on your feet. It’s used for insomnia, hence my tendency to knock out after I’ve eaten the drugged food. Luckily, it’s perfectly fine for pregnancy. The overwhelming relief I felt that my baby hadn’t been harmed was staggering, my whole body sagging with the weight that was lifted from my shoulders.
The damned wheelchair waits by the door, parked up against the wall like a silent spectator, waiting for my downfall. With a cursory glance, I stride past it, deciding that today I will remain on my feet. After all, I no longer need to keep up any kind of pretence that I’m weak. I want to be ready for when my guys come, to show them how strong I am.
Especially as when I suggested that I could try and escape sooner without them, they wouldn’t hear of it, Ash ordering me to remain where I was or face dire consequences. Arsegobbler.
I was tempted to disobey, but when Loki mentioned the pregnancy and the possible harm the baby could come under were I to be caught, not to mention the stress involved, I relented. I can’t jeopardise the life and health of our unborn child, not for my own pride.
“Are we…” Mai starts, indicating the wheelchair behind us with her hand as I head towards the stairs.
“We don’t need it today,” I calmly inform her, pausing at the top step and gazing into her kind eyes. “I won’t need it ever again after today.”
Her eyes widen a fraction, realising what I’m saying, then she pulls me into a tight hug.
“I’ll stay with you the whole time, and afterwards. Make sure you and baby are okay and well,” she whispers into my ear.
I cling back just as tight, tears pricking my eyes, soaking in her support and letting it shore me up for the trial ahead. It means so much to have her with me, beside me. I know that she can handle it, she’s told me a little of growing up in The Shadows before Hunter paid for her to go to med school and train to be a midwife several years ago. She said that she owes him a debt, and not just in terms of money, but he refuses to let her pay a penny back, stating that knowing that she’s ‘out of the life’ is more than enough. And this is the only time he’s ever asked anything of her in return, and even then he gave her a choice.
Even though we spend a good portion of the day outside, having a picnic lunch on the lawn that Mai prepares, the day drags unbearably slowly, time mocking me with each tick of the clock in the main hall. Taunting me from afar. Eventually, after I’ve bitten my nails down to the quick, Mai suggests that we head inside and that I try to rest.
It’s so frustrating not knowing exactly what’s going to happen. Or even when they’re going to get here, and I feel like a child waiting for their parents to return home after a trip spent apart, desperate to see them again, full of barely contained excitement. The guys refused to tell me the whole plan just in case something had to change, and I think because they didn’t want me to worry about anything. But what they don’t realise is that not knowing worries me more, and fills me with edgy anxiety until I’m ready to burst.
Once we’re in my room, I find it almost impossible to settle, sitting at the chair then getting up almost immediately to pace over to the bed and back again.
“Lilly…” Mai scolds from her seat in one of the chairs by the window, and I pause, wringing my hands and drawing my bottom lip under my teeth. “This won’t make them come any faster, you know.”
I hear Loki’s snort in my head at her word—bloody, filthy-minded bastard!—and I know that she’s right, but the tension coiled up inside me refuses to be quietened.
Standing there, I look out of the window at the beautiful landscape that surrounds us; the trees swaying gently in a soft summer breeze, the sound of birds chirping as we move closer towards evening even though the sun is still pretty high in the sky. Taking deep, even breaths, I allow myself to soak in the beauty, the majesty of nature. The world keeps turning, regardless of what happens today, and we must accept that nothing will stop that. Life will go on.
My baby gives a small movement, my warm palm coming to my stomach over the floral maxi dress that I’m wearing today. Perhaps not the most practical attire for escape, but it makes me feel good and is really comfy, so I refuse to change out of it and my flip-flops.
Just as the sun sets below the horizon, I hear the opening strains of ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ by Wagner fill the room, the entire mansion seeming to vibrate with the sounds of the violin strings.
“What the fuck…” I trail off as the wardrobe starts to rock violently, my heart beating faster with each tilt. Mai rushes to my side, pushing me slightly behind her as the piece of furniture comes crashing down with an almighty boom, the floor trembling and a couple of pictures falling off the wall, landing with a smash of glass.
Two black-clad figures emerge from the darkness as the music builds to a crescendo, and my heart stills in my chest as they look straight at me. A fallen angel with hair of fire and a Viking with piercing, blue eyes.
“Hey, Pretty Girl,” Loki whispers, and I’m not even sure if I hear him over the music or if his voice sounds in my head, but the low sensual sound of it races across my skin, setting me alight and leaving me breathless.
“Baby,” Jax rumbles, his deep timbre stroking my soul and wrapping me up in smoky notes, cutting through the music.
“You could have just used the door, fucking heathens,” a familiar drawl sounds from across the room, and my head snaps in that direction as two more black-clad figures enter the room.
Grey eyes lock on mine, and before I can say a word, think a single thought, Ash leaps onto and over the bed in a feline move, gently pushes Mai to one side, grabs my face in both his palms and slams his lips onto mine.
His kiss is devastating, full of pent-up longing and desperate sorrow. Each stroke of his skilled tongue is begging for my forgiveness, every caress of his lips a declaration to never let me out of his sight again. I return his embrace, trying to breathe him in, absorb every part of him into my own being.
My fingers clench into his T-shirt, my cuticles ripping with a sharp sting against the webbing that seems to cover parts of him, no doubt holding weapons. But I don’t care. It’s been so long, too fucking long since I’ve been in my husband’s arms.
He pulls back, albeit reluctantly, his grip on my face still firm as his eyes trace over my features, drinking me in like a dying man.
“Hello, wife,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Fuck, I missed you, Princess,” he confesses reverently, dipping his head once more to rub my nose with his in a gesture so heartbreakingly sweet that tears fall down my cheeks.
“Hello, husband,” I choke out, holding him to me for another moment, knowing that it won’t be enough. It’ll never be enough.
But my soul needs to feel the others with my own hands and lips to know that they’re real. As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, Ash lets me go, his hands slipping down my face when he steps aside to reveal Kai.
“Darling. God, you are a sight for sore eyes,” he says, his gaze devouring me as he steps into Ash’s space and engulfs me in his fresh, woodsy scent. His fingertips brush my cheek, coming away glistening with my tears, and he pops the digits into his mouth, tasting my overwhelming happiness leaving tracks down my face.
“Kai,” I can’t think of a single thing to say, my entire being thrumming with his nearness after being away from them all for so long.
“It’s okay, love, we’re here now, and it’ll all be okay,” he assures me, eliminating any space between us, his hand tangling in my hair and angling my face as he kisses my trembling lips.
Like Ash’s kiss, there is sorrow and regret in Kai’s, but also a deep possession and assurance that lends credence to his words of moments ago. His lips and tongue tell me that he, they, will keep me safe, and never again will I have to endure this horror. My tongue matches his, our movements in perfect synchronicity as we relearn what each other tastes like.
The embrace ends with a bittersweet final peck of lips, and Kai steps away with a deep breath, letting Jax take his place.
My protective Viking wastes no time on sweet words or gestures, his huge hand wrapping round my throat and pulling me to him, crushing his lips to mine with the same force that he undoubtedly pushed the wardrobe over. He decimates me with tongue, teeth, and lips, punishing me for my absence, then soothing me a second later as his other hand gently strokes the side of my rounded stomach.
As if in reproach of his barbaric behaviour, the baby gives his palm a vicious kick, and Jax’s mouth abruptly leaves mine, a dark, pride-filled smirk on his lips.
“I will fucking chain you to my bed if I have to, Baby Girl, but you are never to leave us again. Got it?” he growls at me, and I can’t stop the visceral reaction I have at the sound of his voice and his words. It’s fucked up, but my cunt clenches at the raw dominance coming off him in waves, and he fucking knows it as his smile gets wider, flashing me his pearly whites in what might be considered a snarl. “Good girl.”
He too steps to the side, releasing my throat, and my eyes land on the perfect beauty of my trickster. But unlike the others, Loki stays back a few steps, avoiding my seeking gaze.
“Loki?” I question, advancing towards him on unsure steps, coldness suffusing my limbs as I worry about what might be causing this strange behaviour. Stepping right up to him, I can feel the tension vibrating in his body, his muscles twitching. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I reach out, cupping his strong jaw in my palm and turning him to face me. I startle when I see his eyes swimming, his face a mask of tortured pain that cracks my fragile heart clean in two. “Talk to me, my love. Tell me what’s wrong, please?”
His head drops, then slowly rises as the breath rushes out of his chest. His emerald eyes study me, cataloguing all that has changed over the past five weeks. His jaw tightens as he undoubtedly notes the slight gauntness that I still have from all the meals I missed when I was in a drug-induced sleep, the purple bruises under my eyes from the sleepless nights, all those times that my nightmares consumed me, nightmares that may have been more real than I knew.
“Fuck, baby, I’m so fucking sorry…I—” he cuts himself off, his voice cracking, full of rage and self-loathing, his upper lip curling upwards. “I shouldn’t have left you that night.”
My own chest empties as the breath leaves me at his confession.
“Loki, no, none of this is your fault. None of it,” I tell him firmly, my eyebrows dipped as I will him to accept my words for the simple truth that they are.
Before he can argue further, and I see the reply about to leave those lush lips of his, I brace my other hand on his firm chest, lifting myself up onto tiptoes, and press my own mouth to his. My eyes close as the sweetness that is Loki Thorn rushes over me. He freezes for a millisecond, then with a panty-destroying groan, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight into his hard body as he kisses me back. His tongue seeks forgiveness that I readily give, and I willingly drown in his vanilla scent, needing him with a desperation that rivals my need to breathe.
Our kiss is interrupted by the crackling of a radio, Roman’s voice sounding in the now silent room, their epic entrance song having finished at some point during our reunion.
“The dirty rat has been trapped in the library, Conrad. I repeat, the dirty rat has been trapped in the library. Over and out.”
“I’m destined to spend my days surrounded by fucking imbeciles,” I hear Ash grumble, and a giggle escapes my lips.
“Come on, Pretty Girl,” Loki tells me, turning and slinging an arm over my shoulders. There’s still a look of haunting guilt in his eyes, and I’ve the feeling that it’ll take a while for that to vanish completely. “Time to skin ourselves a rodent. I made a playlist especially for the occasion.”
“Of course you did,” I respond with a chuckle, and a fissure of adrenaline rushes through my body at the fact that I’m being included in what they have planned. There’s no hesitation in him, no protest from any of them as Loki guides me down the small gap between the fallen wardrobe at the end of my bed towards the door.
I look behind me as we exit the room, the others and Mai following us as we head towards the stairs. Catching Ash’s eye, he gives me a small nod, an affirmation that he believes in me and my ability to cope with what lies ahead. I also like to think that he recognises my thirst for vengeance.
I stride down the stairs, one Knight beside me with three others following behind, my steps sure and steady. I look inside myself and realise that I, too, don’t falter, don’t pause at what is undoubtedly about to be a very bloody end for my uncle.
A smile that is most likely quite terrifying in its peaceful serenity tugs up my lips as I reach the bottom step, knowing that my only living relative will not see another sunrise. The thought fills me not with horror, but with grim satisfaction, and with a sense that justice will be served in my name once more to a monster, doled out by monsters much bigger and more frightening than he is.
Not for the first time, I know that I am one of them.
And damn proud of it too.
