WILDEST DREAMS
I wake up with Ford between my legs. Again. It should be criminal to experience this much pleasure in one week.
“You’re spoiling me,” I rasp, though instead of fighting it, I rake my hands through his hair and hold him in place until I’m shaking.
When I go limp, he pulls me on top of him and forces me to ride him until we’re both sweaty messes and exhausted again. “We should stay in bed all day,” Ford suggests, stroking my back as I lie on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart.
“You’re not going to work?”
With a soft smile, he cups my chin. “Not a chance. Play hooky with me today?”
The smile that splits my face is so big my cheeks ache. “Can we go to breakfast? And maybe go for a walk downtown?”
One last day to be Lake and Ford. Not Lake Paige, who has to go back to her real life and put on a show again, day after day. And not just on a stage, but in the production I’ve realized my life is. Constantly being on. Constantly smiling. Not because I feel actual joy, but because I should feel joy. Because I should appreciate all I have when, for so long, it was all I wanted. My career, my fans, my fame.
Only it’s not what I want anymore. More than anything, I want to be a girl in a small town who is loved by this man.
Even if we have an expiration date. Even if it’s not real. For today, I’d like to pretend I’m his entire world. Because it’s clear to me now that if we didn’t have a time limit, he’d become mine.
With his lips against mine, Ford murmurs, “We can do anything you want, Red. Today’s all about you.”
“And you,” I reply, leaning in and kissing him.
“That’s good news for you, because I just want to be wherever you are. So you lead and I’ll follow.”
The words light a small fire in my chest that warms me from the inside out. With a soft sigh, I snuggle him again. I really could get used to this.
We spend the day popping into one store after another, hands clasped and smiles easy. Ford bought every single item I commented on. The first time he pulled out his wallet, I argued. I don’t really need the bangle engraved with the town’s coordinates.
He slipped it around my wrist anyway and held it there, gaze heavy. “Please, Red,” he whispered, “let me give you something to remember me by.”
I wanted to tell him that I had no intention of forgetting him. God, I couldn’t if I tried. If only I could get the words out. Garner my strength and tell him that there’d be no need to forget him if we just keep doing what we’re doing.
Being happy, making love.
But because I’m a coward, I accepted the bracelet and every other thing he purchased. Sunglasses, a new hat, a pair of glittery earrings, and a blue cashmere scarf. He tugged it around my neck and kissed me. “It’s the color of my eyes,” he said.
We both knew it was a replacement for the red one I’d continued to wear to keep warm. I tossed the old scarf into the trash as we walked out of the store.
That evening, we had dinner in a tiny Italian restaurant, and Ford told me all about the first record he produced. It was wild hearing about his side of the business I knew so well. I soaked up every detail. Stories about the early days of his career. Where he started. How much he’d accomplished. Each new fact only made me appreciate him more.
As he guides me into Thames now, his arm looped firmly around my waist, I can feel the clock ticking down on our time together.
“Maybe we should just go home,” I choke out, cursing the way my heart cracks.
He pulls me closer but keeps pushing forward. “Let’s do what we both love, baby. Let’s listen to some music.”
I heave a sigh but don’t argue. It’s probably for the best. It’s going to be impossible to walk away from this man. No amount of time in his bed will change that. At least here, I can focus on the music rather than on the little time we have left.
Nate wanders over when he spots us, and he and Ford exchange pleasant hellos before he pulls me in for a warm hug. “Ames is just checking on the baby,” he says, pointing to the ceiling. “Her best friend owns this place. Normally Ames stays home with our Paulie girl on Fridays, but she wanted to see you, so the baby is napping in the apartment upstairs.”
“I’m glad I get to see you both. It really takes me back.”
Nate tips his head back and laughs. “God, I wouldn’t go back to those times if you paid me.”
Jaw dropping, I rear back and try to decipher his expression.
He waves his hand in jest. “Not that it wasn’t great. It’s just—” His eyes flit to one side and lock on something over my shoulder. Ford and I both turn and find Amelia sauntering toward us. She literally stole her husband’s breath.
The tall blonde who rarely smiles presses a kiss to her husband’s jaw before she even greets us. At the sight of their easy love, I have to swallow back my envy.
“What was I saying?” Nate asks with a big grin on his face.
“I think what you were saying is that you prefer married life to playing in bars by yourself,” Ford suggests rather astutely.
Amelia shakes her head as she laughs. “Always so swoony, Nate Pearson. But you know you’re gonna get lucky tonight. No need to sweet-talk me.”
Nate’s only response is a wicked smile directed at his wife.
My heart is cracking in my chest as Ford’s eyes meet mine. The expression on his face tells me he sees what I see.
That’s real love. That’s it. The thing people write songs about. The reason stadiums sell out. We’re all chasing that feeling. No wonder these two haven’t gone on tour. There’s nothing to chase. They have it all right here in this little bar on the water in their hometown. With their child sleeping upstairs and a guitar leaning against the fireplace, just waiting for Nate to pick it up and play. What more could they need?
“You ready for some music?” Amelia asks, pulling up a chair and setting it beside me.
“You going to play?” Ford asks her.
She shrugs. “I’m sure Nate and I will get a set in. Maybe you want to join?” Her brows are lifted and her expression is bright as she focuses on me.
I shake my head. Tonight is about watching. Learning. God, could I use a few lessons, and not all of them are about music. “I’m excited to be a fan tonight.”
She shrugs. “Suit yourself. I’m going to see if Hailey needs help at the bar. Be back in a bit.”
The first artist to take the tiny stage has a voice like Jewel, all gravel and gorgeous. I’m immediately lost in the moment. The guy who follows doesn’t have quite as much talent, but he can work the crowd like none other.
Then Nate grabs his guitar, pulls his hat backward and sits on the lone stool. A hush takes over the room as he gets situated. It lasts so long I start to fidget, but I freeze again when Amelia’s rasp fills the room. It’s a cappella and angelic, and from the adoring expression on her husband’s face as he watches her, she’s utterly captivated him. She takes slow steps, one after another, from the bar to the stage. His fingers don’t start strumming until she’s at his side.
“Holy shit,” I mutter under my breath when they finish their set.
Ford nods beside me. “It’s been a while since I sat in a bar and scouted out talent, but fuck. If they didn’t already have a deal, I’d offer them one right here.”
“You miss this part of it?” I ask, resting a hand on his bicep.
He dips his chin. “Didn’t realize how much until now.” He takes a sip of his whiskey, and then his eyes find mine. “You know, I saw you at the Bluebird many years ago.”
My breath catches, and I sit a little straighter. “You did?”
He brings his lowball to his lips again and hums. “You were incredible. I was there to meet with someone else, but I left thinking only of you.”
“But you didn’t approach me until years later,” I remind him, my stomach sinking just a little.
“You were picked up the next day. The deal happened too quickly. I shoulda signed you on the spot. Big mistake,” he mutters.
“Huge!” I retort with a grin, mimicking Pretty Woman.
His responding laugh and the lightness in his eyes make my heart jump. “But I still got you. Honestly, nothing was a bigger mistake than not asking you out before Paul did.”
This time my lungs seize in my chest and I rear back. “What?”
Scrubbing a hand over his face, he huffs. “Fuck, Lake. Life would have been so different if I’d just gone for it when I saw you again two years ago.”
“You think not asking me on a date is a bigger miss than not signing me?” My pulse flutters at the intense way he’s watching me. “Seriously? We’ve made millions together.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “I’d rather have you.” His grip on my hand is tight, unyielding, his focus clear. All on me.
My throat clogs, and I have to look away. If he had, then maybe what we have could be real. It could have worked. The thing I witnessed between Nate and Amelia, that forever, soulmate kind of love, that’s what I feel when I’m in this man’s presence. He could have been it for me.
But he didn’t take that chance, and now we’re nothing but a news story. Lake Paige gets revenge with her ex-boyfriend’s dad. We’ve made a mockery of what we could have been.
We don’t stick around another minute. Quickly waving goodbye, we head out into the night, silent. There’s simultaneously so many unspoken words between us and nothing left to be said.
The second we step through the door to his house, we’re attacking one another. We peel away our clothing, layer by layer, our movements in sync until Ford lays me down and covers me with his hard body. He warms me from the inside out as he sinks inside one last time, moving slowly, never breaking eye contact. The experience is haunting and beautiful and soul shattering. Desperate to leave my mark on him, wishing there was a way I could physically become a part of him, I dig my nails into his back.
When we come together, tears stream down my face, but still, we say nothing. We simply kiss one another through it. He knows why I’m crying. I don’t want it to be over. But because he can’t change our circumstance, he doesn’t even try to stop the tears.
“If he wasn’t my son—” The sound of his voice in the quiet startles me from my thoughts. It’s the vulnerability in his tone. The yearning. His stormy eyes are a beacon guiding me to his truth.
I nuzzle into his neck, silently assuring him that he doesn’t need to finish that thought. I know his heart. It’s stamped on mine. The feel of his hands against me are the safety net I never knew I needed. His tone, his demeanor, all of it tells me all the things I need to know. Everything I’ve ever wanted to hear.
He swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing against me. The movement forces the knot in my chest to tighten and press against my lungs so forcefully it’s hard to take in air. Disappointment consumes me. He can be nothing more than the man who put me back together after my heart had been broken by his son. Though not a single moment with Paul was as powerful as the one I’m living with Ford now. Outside of the relationship between the two men, I haven’t thought of Paul at all. I haven’t missed him a bit.
I don’t beg Ford to choose me. I don’t speak at all. Instead, I respond by pressing closer to his body and fusing our lips. When the first hints of daylight stream into his bedroom, I take a moment to memorize every inch of his face, and while his eyes are still closed, I disappear from his life.
