CADE’S angry thrusts are just another reminder of how much he owns me.
There’s been years between us, yet as he pushes in and out of me with such force my hip bones are almost rubbed raw from slamming into the saddle stand, it seems like we’ve never been apart.
It isn’t just the way he thrusts into me that proves I had no chance of ever being anyone else’s. It’s in the way he possessively wraps his fingers in my hair, looping the strands around his palm to control the top half of my body. Even if I wanted to push off this stand and put us in a new position, I wouldn’t be able to. Cade makes sure that even as he pounds into me from behind in a way that follows through on his promise to punish me, that he’s the one in full control.
I let him have it.
I thrive with him having it.
My body comes alive underneath his dominating touch. It feels too fucking good, the pleasure mixed with his painful thrusts, something I excitedly welcome.
Cade pulls on my hair, forcing me to arch my back. The movement helps him push even deeper inside me—something I didn’t know was possible. He’s too deep, so deep that it hurts every time he fully seats himself inside me. His thighs slap against my ass with each thrust, his pace punishing.
I gladly take all of it—all of him. I’ll take anything he’ll give me, my body desperate to feel completely owned by him.
He said he was punishing me, but his possessive thrusts and growls still feel like he’s worshiping me.
When the hand not in my hair drifts up my ribcage and plays with my exposed nipple, I moan. Tingles move from my breast all the way down to my clit. His hips are unforgiving as he pushes in and out of me angrily, but his fingers playing with my nipple are gentle. He caresses over it, teasing me.
“Cade.” I moan again, it feels too good. It feels like too much. I know that another orgasm is building inside me. I fight telling him that I’m about to come, fearful that he’ll stop as another way to take his anger out on me.
“What, baby?” His words come out strained. I feel power knowing that he’s as unhinged as I am. I need it as proof that nothing has changed between us—at least when it comes to the way our bodies speak to one another.
My teeth clamp down on my lip as I fight the urge to tell him how close I am. I wouldn’t put it past him to cut me off from coming just to spite me for last night—for the past five years.
His quick, deep thrusts make my toes curl in my cowgirl boots. I know I’m seconds away from coming, the feel of his cock stretching me and punishing me too much.
Right before I’m about to be sent over the edge, his thrusts slow.
I moan because I was so close but the change in tempo has the pressure building but not quite reaching the edge. It’s the most euphoric form of torture, being on the brink of an orgasm but not quite reaching it.
“I feel your cunt hugging me tighter. Did I say it was time for you to come again?”
My head falls forward, hitting the leather saddle. He allows it, but his fingers stay firm in my hair.
He slowly pumps in and out. Tingles run all over my body as the orgasm threatens to overtake me. I know whenever I finally reach the release, it’s going to be powerful.
“What if I wasn’t done punishing you yet?”
“I’m sorry,” I croak, pushing my hips against him to try and get him to speed up, to go deeper, something to push me past that last little bit.
Cade rests his chest against my back, his weight heavy on top of me as he aims his mouth right next to my ear. “It’s not fun thinking you’re going to get something only to have it taken away is it, Goldie?”
His lips brush against the side of my neck tenderly. He steals whatever answer I could give him from my mouth when he pulls out of me and turns my body. The movement is so fast I can’t even process what’s happening until he’s got me seated on the saddle stand once again, my legs spread wide open as he steps between them.
Cade doesn’t make me wait long, he pushes inside me, not allowing much time for our bodies to be separated.
One hand runs up my back and over my shoulders until he grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him.
“I’m done punishing you. It’s time for you to come, but you’re going to look at me while you do it.” As soon as he utters the last syllable, he’s slamming into me, my body coming off the saddle with the movement. He lowers both his hands to rest under my ass, keeping me upright as he takes out all the anger and frustration from all our years apart out on me.
I gladly take each punishing thrust of his body. It only takes a few before I’m finally pushed over the edge. I scream so loudly from the orgasm ricocheting through my body. Cade’s lips crash against mine, stealing any further sounds of pleasure straight from my mouth.
My entire body shakes from the position I’m in combined with the effects of coming off the orgasm. Cade thrusts into me, taking everything he wants from me as he chases his own orgasm. It doesn’t take long until he’s groaning against my mouth, his muscles going tight. He gives one last thrust until I feel wetness between my thighs, our cum mixing together as he moans Goldie one final time.
For a few moments, the only sound in the tack room is the sound of our intense breathing. His chest presses into mine, sweat coating both our bodies after what just happened. It feels like I just went for a run, but instead it was just me getting railed by the one man on this planet I have no business getting involved with again.
Cade pulls out of me, his cock still hard as he takes a slight step back. He doesn’t break our connection, his fingertips still digging into the flesh at my hips. I look away from his still-hard cock—it’s skin glistening with me—and look into his eyes.
I find him staring right back at me. When our gazes lock, I know that something has shifted between us.
He pushed it to shift last night, I just wouldn’t let him.
Now, I don’t know if I have a choice.
“Even after all these years,” he says, breaking the silence.
“What?”
He pushes hair from my face, lifting my chin up before he presses a kiss to my lips. “Even after all these years your pussy still fits me perfectly. Like it was made for me and only me.”
“Cade,” I mutter, not knowing what else there is to say. He was the first man I was ever with—the only one I’ve ever loved. I would’ve spent the rest of my life with only ever having him and only him. It was him that made the decision to ruin everything we could’ve been.
I should feel exposed sitting completely naked on the saddle. I should definitely be rushing to get dressed before someone stumbles upon us. But I don’t move an inch.
I’m too focused on the way Cade looks at me. It’s easy to tell that I won’t get away with pretending this never happened. Not like I’d even want to.
The moment I saw that photo in his hat, every reason I was denying him disappeared from my mind. He hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me when he forced me to leave. But I’m learning that maybe we were too young to handle how strong our feelings were.
We’re older—wiser—now. Maybe we can give in to each other, and it won’t end in devastation.
All I know is that when Cade pulls me into his chest in a warm embrace, I’m not capable of being angry with him any longer.
We both let out a collective sigh of relief. It’s as if he’s coming to the same conclusion as I am.
He presses a kiss to my shoulder before pulling away. He grabs my sweatshirt from the ground. His movements are soft as he pulls it over my head. Once we’re both dressed and cleaned up, he grabs my hand in the doorway of the stables.
“Goldie?” The nickname caresses deep parts of me. I forgot how much I’d missed the nickname, how much I still love it after all the time and hurt that’s passed between us.
“Hm?”
“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight. If I don’t find you at my door, don’t think I won’t come and get you and put you where you belong.”
“And where is that?”
He laughs. “For tonight? With me.”
“Just tonight?” I ask hesitantly.
His eyes soften as he fixes a piece of my hair. Hurt flashes through his eyes briefly. He hides it as quickly as it came. “That’s not my decision,” he answers.
We stare at each other, neither one of us saying anything else.
It makes me wonder, not for the first time, what would happen if this time I didn’t leave Sutten.
What if I stopped fighting the feelings between the two of us and actually gave things a chance?
I know one thing for sure. What Cade and I have is undeniable, no matter how much hurt we’ve caused each other—and how much hurt we’ll cause each other if I do end up leaving Sutten again.
