I almost abandoned my whole plan the minute I held her in my arms, the second I touched her lips, the instant she moaned my name.
But there was no way in hell I was going to watch her walk again. No, not this time. I’d be the one to leave.
And the corner of my mouth turned up as I made my way through the crowd. She was as stiff as an ice cube when I took her from Aidan, and then she’d melted like liquid in my arms. Now she was a puddle all over the dance floor.
I am the man.
Who cares that she looked like sex standing up on that stage? Or that I’d been a little jealous when Aidan started dancing with her? Or ready to kill him when I caught sight of his hand inside the back of her shirt?
Fuck him, and fuck her.
“Fuck you!” Ashtyn screamed at me as I came back to the table. I saw her rear her hand back, and I ducked out of the way just before her hand would’ve landed across my cheek.
“Seriously?” I held up my hands, laughing. “Calm down. It was just a joke.”
I guessed she’d seen the kiss.
“You’re an asshole!” she shouted and stomped out of the bar.
People around us chuckled, including Jax, while Jared shook his head and Tate scowled.
“Oh, please,” I begged sarcastically. “You missed me, and you know it.”
Tate rolled her eyes and stood up, straightening her shirt. “I thought I did.” Looking around, she sighed. “You boys play nice. I’m going to go dig Fallon out of the bathroom.”
I didn’t know how Tate saw her head to the back of the bar through the clusters of people, but she was up and gone in no time, pushing through dancers, in search of her friend. Taking a seat, I downed the rest of my beer and lurched forward when Jax slapped me on the back.
“You’re not going after either one of them?” he asked, locking his fingers behind his head and leaning on the back legs of the chair.
“Tate and Fallon?” I peered over at him. “I think they can take care of each other.”
“No, I meant Fallon or Ashtyn. Isn’t Ashtyn your girlfriend?”
Girlfriend. The word made me want to dunk my head in mud and not come up for air until I was dead.
“No.” I looked back to the dance floor. “When do I have girlfriends?”
I locked eyes with Jared across the table, and he didn’t speak. He said enough with his eyes, though.
He knew something was going on, and he knew I was off the rails. But like a good friend, he didn’t feel the need to state the obvious.
Just knowing he was there, and that he got it, helped.
I caught sight of Tate’s red T-shirt coming out of the crowd, and I sat up straight when I noticed that she was alone.
“Well,” she sighed, putting her hands on her hips, “I guess we can head out. I’m done for the night.”
She smiled down at Jared, a look going on between them that said they weren’t done for the night. But I was confused.
“Where’s Fallon?” I asked.
Tate busied herself, slinging her purse across her chest, barely meeting my eyes. “Oh, Fallon? Yeah, she’s . . . I guess . . . heading out to another bar with that guy that was sitting here before. What was his name? Aidan?”
Anger radiated out of my pores, and my eyebrows pinched together painfully.
“What?” What the fuck?
Tate finally looked my way and fixed her lips into a thin line, looking like it was no big deal. “Yeah.” She shrugged. “I went to grab her from the bathroom, and she was chatting with him in the hall. They headed out the back way.”
I pushed out of my seat, glaring at Tate.
She left with him? Hell, no.
Without so much as a good-bye, I headed out of the bar and through the door. Coming out to the sidewalk, I stopped and twisted my head to the left and right.
Where the hell was she?
Oxygen flooded in and out of my lungs in heavy breaths.
To the left was nothing but darkness. To the right was the strip of college bars where he would’ve taken her.
I turned left first. Aidan wasn’t a creeper. I had no reason to suspect that he’d lure her somewhere quiet and try anything, but it felt like the better option to make sure before I searched the populated and somewhat safer public bars.
I pounded the pavement, the town getting quieter the farther I walked.
Son of a bitch.
I was going to find her, punch him, and then fix Tate’s car, so Fallon could get the hell out of town. Tonight.
I messed with her on the dance floor, kissed her almost beyond my own control, and then thought she’d stay invisible and quiet?
Why didn’t I just let her leave this afternoon like she wanted?
In the three or so months since I’d last seen her, I’d been doing fine. Sure I wasn’t happy, but like before, I got over the separation and moved on with my life. However dull it was.
Now, she had me chasing her down and in knots.
I was Madoc Caruthers. I don’t get mad, and I don’t chase women that don’t want to be chased.
But I couldn’t let her go with him. That wasn’t happening.
The sharp glow from the streetlights illuminated the whole area, and so far I’d seen no one resembling Fallon. A few couples here and there. Some drunk students stumbling around together.
Stopping at a corner I looked left again and let out a breath, finally spotting her. Her legs moved briskly, and she disappeared under the shadow of trees, shielding the moon’s light. But I knew it was her. That damned ripped shirt.
Digging in my heels, I walked as fire and anger urged my legs forward. I wanted to run. To race up behind her, throw her over my shoulder, and take her home.
My voice was deep and bitter as I shouted. “Where are you going?”
She spun around, stopping and scowling at me. “You followed me?” she accused.
I ignored the question. “Where are you going?” I asked again.
Her lips twisted up, enough to know she was done with me for the night and was not cooperating.
But then . . . she turned her lips up in a sinister smile and looked me up and down.
“For someone that hates me,” she started as she looked at me with heat in her eyes, “you are awfully concerned about my comings and goings.” She dragged a delicate hand down her neck, over her breast, continuing down to rest on the inside of her turned-out thigh.
Holy shit.
My eyes had a mind of their own. They just followed.
She smirked as if she’d just won, and I blinked, trying to drag my gaze away from where her hand rested. Turning back around, she walked even faster as she continued down the sidewalk toward wherever she was going.
That’s when it occurred to me that she was alone.
“Where’s Aidan?” I shouted, but she ignored me, steering into the dim park.
Running after her this time, I tore off my light blue button-down and threw it across her arm.
“For Christ’s sake, Fallon, it’s cold and dark. Take the shirt.” I shook it at her, but took it away when she continued to ignore me.
I stuck my tongue between my teeth to keep from grinding them. “You can’t walk through a park alone,” I barked. “Where’s Aidan?”
“Why would I know where Aidan is?”
“Because . . .” I trailed off, blinking long and hard.
Fuckin’ Tate.
Realizing I’d been set up, and even more aggravated that Tate allowed Fallon to walk through town by herself in the dark, I exhaled deeply through my nose.
Of course, Tate probably assumed I’d run after Fallon, anyway.
“Well, looks like I got played. I was under the impression you left a bar with a complete stranger.”
“Yeah, that would be so like me, wouldn’t it?” The resentment in her comeback was thick.
“Yeah, well, you looked comfortable with him on the dance floor.” I struggled to maintain pace and still look cool. She was almost speed-walking.
“Yeah, just like you with the brunette?” she said over her shoulder. “Am I complaining, Madoc? Nope, because I don’t care.”
Bitch.
“Hey.” I brushed off the sting of her words with a casual smile. “I moved on. It wasn’t hard. Just like you did in Chicago, I’m sure.” I swerved in her path and cut her off, staring down at her as she tightened every muscle in her face. “With as easily as you open your legs for me,” I continued, “I’m sure you’re having a great time in college.”
Her eyes flared, and she slammed her hands into my chest, but I barely stumbled. “Ugh!” she growled. Her green jewels fired in anger, and her hair fanned around her face in a wild storm.
“Come on,” I challenged, breaking into a laugh. “You know I like it when you fight me. It gets you hot, and I get laid.”
Her fingers balled up, and I saw her hand coming before she probably even knew what she was doing. Her tight fist landed right across my jaw, hitting the corner of my mouth, and I didn’t even try to stop it. I loved Fallon’s fight. I always did.
The sharp ache in my face spread across my chin, and I pursed my lips, sucking and swallowing the blood from the cut on the inside of my mouth.
Her fists didn’t stop, though. Landing with two hard thuds right on my chest, I grabbed her wrists, trying to still her.
“I hate you!” she screamed, but the flutters in my stomach turned to amusement that I couldn’t hold back.
I burst out laughing, and she went wild.
Her arms flailed, and she tried pulling away and kicking at me, until finally I let her body crash into mine, dragging us to the ground. She landed on top of me, but I quickly rolled us over, straddling her.
She didn’t cry out, thank goodness, only wiggled and shot me with bullets from her eyes. God help me if a police officer stumbled this way, though. This “banter” was something most people wouldn’t understand. I wasn’t going to hurt her. I just wanted her attention.
Pinning her arms to the ground at the sides of her head, I leaned in, whispering in her ear.
“What did I say wrong?” I teased, feeling the fast rise and fall of her breasts against my chest. “You’re not having fun at college, or you’re mad that I called it? Don’t be ashamed for spreading yourself around, Fallon. It’s genetic. You’re your mother’s daughter, after all.”
“Ugh!” She reared up, trying to throw me off, but I pressed down.
“Come on!” I challenged, seeing the tears I wanted in her eyes. “Come on. Admit it!”
Her face, hot with fierce defiance, looked about ready to explode.
And then she screamed, “I’ve never been with anyone but you, asshole!”
And I stopped. Everything stopped.
The air left me. My face fell. I didn’t care that my heart pounded like a baseball bat across my chest.
What the hell did she just say?
I narrowed my eyes, studying her. She sucked in air through her teeth, glaring at me like she wanted to tear me apart.
“No one,” she growled. “Now get off me before I scream.”
I couldn’t believe it.
“In the two years that we were apart, there was no one else?” I questioned, still hovering over her.
“There will be.” Her threatening whisper sounded scarier than her shouts. “I’m going to make you a distant memory.”
I narrowed my eyes at her challenge, and whether I understood it or not, my dick started to swell, as well. Maybe it was the position we were in, the heat of battle, or the need to break her down, but I wanted to touch her hard.
I saw the silver glint of her tongue ring through her teeth, and I instinctively ran my tongue across the back of my bottom teeth, remembering the feel of that in my mouth on the dance floor.
Her breathing was slowing, and she licked her lips, not wavering under my gaze.
I kept my voice low and soft, trying to reach her. “You act like you have no heart, like you just swallow your conscience with all of the pain you cause. But I see through it, Fallon. The truth is, you want me like nobody’s business.” She closed her mouth and swallowed. “You’ve always wanted me. You know why? Because I don’t try to kill your demons. I run with them.”
Her chest started rising and falling faster again, and her eyes faltered.
“And I never stopped wanting you,” I added before crashing my mouth down on hers.
She moaned into my throat, and I was like a man at a feast. I couldn’t kiss her fast enough. The more my lips moved over hers, the deeper the hunger in my stomach.
More, more, more. My whole body was on fire.
How did she always do this to me?
I straightened out my legs, flattening my body against hers, and moved my hands off her wrists and to the ground. I was about ready to do fucking cartwheels when she didn’t hit me but instead took my face in her hands to deepen the kiss.
Her hot, slick mouth connected with mine, and I kept my lips open over hers to play with her tongue. Every time the tongue ring brushed over a part of my mouth, my dick jerked with the rush of blood.
“Goddamn, Fallon. Your fucking tongue,” I gasped before diving in for more. The ball in her mouth turned me on to the point where I’d probably be okay just kissing her for the rest of the damn night.
But . . . hearing that she’d only ever been with me made me feel a ton of different things I couldn’t analyze right now.
All I knew was that I wanted to be her first with everything now. I wasn’t worrying about her comparing me to other guys. I was only worried about living up to her fantasies.
Which, strangely, was a taller order. I wanted to give her everything.
Moving to lie on the ground at her side, I didn’t break the kiss as I ran my hand down her body and slipped it inside her jeans.
“Jesus.” I pulled back, opening my eyes and looking down at her.
She wasn’t wearing underwear. Just her jeans.
My hand reached lower, finding what I wanted between her legs, and a smile tugged at my lips. My fingers found her center, and I could already feel the wetness at her opening. She arched her head back and panted.
“Do you know how much you turn me on?” My question sounded more like an accusation. “So wet and perfect.”
Mine.
Sliding two fingers inside of her, I nearly fucking lost it. The heat. The wetness around my fingers. “I want inside this,” I told her, pumping my fingers faster.
“Madoc, please,” she pleaded, and I dipped down to trail my tongue along the ridge of her ear. She shuddered and leaned her head into me.
“Not yet. I want to give you another first.”
Pushing myself up on one knee to hover over her again, I took my hand out of her jeans and reached up, pushing the hem of her shirt up below her breasts. Taking the skin of her stomach in my mouth, I teased it with little kisses, trailing a line down to the top of her jeans.
“Madoc, you can’t.” She took my head in her hands, lifting her head up. “Someone will see us.”
“I don’t give a damn.”
I unbuttoned and unzipped her low-rise jeans and had barely yanked them down to her knees before I dove down to taste her.
It was the beginning of October and already cold as hell, but I was burning up.
Her body was so hot, and I looked up at her as my tongue swirled her clit. I breathed out a laugh, seeing her peek out of her hands.
She was embarrassed, and I was fucking ecstatic. I might be the only one that’d been inside of her, but that didn’t mean that no one else hadn’t done this to her. Now I knew no one else had.
My dick, my mouth, my tongue. She was mine.
I pressed my tongue down on her swollen nub and moved in circles, and soon her hands were off her flushed face and grabbing at my hair.
Her legs started shifting, the left and then the right, and I realized that she was trying to kick her jeans all of the way off.
That a girl.
I shot up and grabbed the hem at her ankles and yanked on the jeans, tossing them I-didn’t-know-where.
“Son of a bitch,” I groaned under my breath, looking down at her, T-shirt pulled up and naked all the rest of the way down.
I dropped back down between her legs, and she fisted my hair as I licked her length long and gentle and then swirled my tongue around her clit.
“Madoc,” she panted, grinding herself into my tongue. “That’s so good. Make me come. Please.”
My whole damn body was tense, and I was on fire from the waist down. My dick rubbed against my jeans, and I could feel the sweat trail down the middle of my back under my T-shirt.
I couldn’t take much more of this.
Not the wanting her, but the needing her. It was like a fire in my belly having her again, and I pushed the notion away that she didn’t need me, too. She could admit it or hide it, but it rolled off of her like lightning.
Putting my whole mouth on her, I ate her out, causing her to moan more. I sucked and nibbled her, licked and plunged inside of her.
“Oh, God, Madoc.” She threw her head back, her fast breaths going a mile a minute as her body shook. I gripped her hips, and she damn-near pulled out my hair as she came.
And I didn’t nurse her back down to Earth as she shuddered.
Leaning back and sitting on my heels, I dug a condom out of my wallet. Before she’d even opened her eyes, I’d torn open the package, rolled on the rubber, and crowned her entrance. I wanted inside of her before her orgasm finished. Leaning over her and panting just as hard as she was, I reached behind my head and grabbed my black T-shirt, pulling it off and flinging it to the side. I supported myself with one hand on the ground and one hand on my cock, hard and ready for her. She pushed off the ground, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me hard.
I rubbed the tip of my cock over her clit, and she quivered against my lips.
“Lie back,” I gritted through my teeth. “I need you now.”
As soon she fell back to the ground, she spread her legs wider, and I worked the tip inside of her. Grabbing her hip to steady her, I plunged inside completely.
“Ah!” she moaned, and I closed my eyes, letting out a low grunt.
I wrapped my arm under her knee and grabbed her thigh with my hand, pulling her down on me as far as she could go.
“Madoc.” Her whisper was wanton. She was lost, craving more and more. She grabbed my ass inside the back of my jeans, and I winced as her nails dug in. I loved that.
“That’s it,” I breathed, moving in and out of her in a quick rhythm. “Touch me, Fallon.”
Her fingers grappled with my ass and then trailed up my back and brought my head down to meet her lips. She was wild. Her tongue licked my neck, sucked on my ear, and dove into my mouth with full force.
“Go faster, Madoc,” she whispered in my ear. “Come hard.”
Pulling back, I continued to support myself with one hand on the ground and one hand on her tit, pounding into her as she squeezed my hips tight with each thrust.
Her hair fanned out across the cold grass, and I watched, mesmerized, as her body pushed back and forth on the ground as I entered her each time.
I was consumed with Fallon, and while I knew I’d survive without her, I didn’t want to. I wanted her in my bed, in my lap, at my dinner table, and on my arm every goddamn day from now on.
This was my girl, and I finally understood why Jared needed Tate so much. Why he hurt her when he thought he couldn’t love her.
He just wanted her.
Fallon looked up at me, folding her bottom lip between her teeth, and I saw her eyes tense. She tightened around my cock, and I knew she was about to come.
“Stay with me,” I urged, keeping my eyes on her.
With every thrust, a whimpered breath came out of her, her emerald eyes pleading with me. I bit down, steeling my jaw.
She finally squeezed her eyes shut and cried out, and I let it go, too. Her muscles clenched around me, spasming, and I slammed into her twice more before spilling and collapsing.
I lay there with my head on her shoulder, our ragged breaths the only sound in the otherwise silent park.
Shit.
I didn’t even want to look around to see if we’d been caught. She’d been loud, and I felt my skin warm as my heartbeat picked up.
She twisted her head toward me, and I leaned up, inches from her mouth. Her lips parted, and her eyes begged as she just stared at me, both pain and pleasure in her eyes.
Taking the invitation, I kissed her, wrapping my arms around the top of her head on the ground and enveloping her with my body.
The full force of her lips pushed back against mine, deepening the kiss.
“Madoc,” she quivered against my mouth. “I—”
“Shhh,” I urged, taking her mouth again.
There were things we needed to say. But not tonight.
• • •
That night I crashed on the couch in my father’s house, not wanting to push Fallon too far, too fast. Our midnight romp in the park was enough to scare her off, and I was pissed that I felt the need to walk on eggshells around her.
I had never cared about any other girl like this, and I didn’t know if that was just me, or if it was Fallon. She and I started so young; maybe she’d ruined me for other women. I didn’t know. And I wasn’t in the mood to think about whether or not I loved her.
I settled on the fact that I was simply not done with her.
So, I backed off, not insisting that we share a bed, and opted to let her get some rest.
Tate and Jared were already home by the time Fallon and I walked in. I didn’t see them, but I could definitely make out certain little noises coming from their room that told me they weren’t asleep.
I planted a long kiss on Fallon’s lips before saying good night.
But the next morning, it was Jared shaking me awake.
“Hey, we’re heading out soon,” he alerted me.
I brought the heel of my hands up to rub my eyes. “Is everyone up?” I asked, sitting up. He threw two duffel bags into the foyer next to the door. “Yeah, but Fallon’s already gone.”
I threw my legs over the edge of the couch with my elbows on my knees.
“What?” I blurted out, looking at him like he better be lying.
“I guess she woke Jax up early to fix the car.” He gave me a knowing look. “Obviously, that didn’t take long, since he only had to plug back in the throttle body, so she’s already been gone an hour.” He stopped and stared, chewing on his gum and waiting for me to say something.
“Un-fucking-believable!” I shouted, picking up a vase from the coffee table and hurling it across the room where it shattered against the wall.
I slammed myself back against the brown leather couch, running my hands over my face in exasperation.
What the fuck?
“What’s up?” I heard Jax come around the corner and ask. I laid my head back, closing my eyes and locking my hands on top of my head.
“Nothing,” Jared answered. “Let me handle this.”
I didn’t hear Jax leave, but when I dropped my hands and opened my eyes he was gone. Jared walked around the coffee table and sat down in the brown leather chair that matched the sofa.
“She went back to Shelburne Falls for the rest of the weekend. Her mom texted saying she needed her there or something,” Jax said. The anger inside of me created a fog in my head too thick to think.
Jared dug in his hoodie and seemed to be removing one of his keys. “We’re heading back now,” he said as he worked. “We’ll visit the parents, and Tate’s got a race tonight. You should come.”
I shook my head, not even looking at him.
Was he nuts?
He held a key out to me. “To Tate’s house,” he explained. “Fallon is staying there tonight. Mr. Brandt is leaving town on business early this evening, and I’ll keep Tate in our room at your house. You go sort this out.”
I shook my head. “No way. I’m done.”
What the hell did Fallon ever really do for me anyway? This was the last straw. If she couldn’t open up and act fucking normal, then she wasn’t worth it.
Jared stood up and threw the key on my T-shirt-clad chest. “Just go,” he ordered. “Sort this shit out. I want my friend back.”
“No,” I maintained. “I’m not chasing after her again.”
“I told the whole school about my teddy bear to get Tate back.” He scowled down at me. “Chase. Harder.”
But I couldn’t.
Fallon knew I wanted her. She had to know that I cared about her. But I didn’t trust her. She was playing me, and I didn’t know why.
When she was ready to talk, she’d find me.
