A week later, and Justin had practically become a local star in Newport overnight. The crowd at Sandy’s was nearly double what it had been before he became the nightly entertainment. Of course, the newest patrons were primarily young women who had heard about the hot new headlining guitarist.
One late afternoon, Jade and I were just headed out the door to work when her cell phone rang. “Shit. Hold up. It’s my agent,” she said.
I waited in the doorway for her to take the call.
After a few seconds, her hands started trembling. “You’re kidding. You’re kidding!” Jumping up and down, she covered her mouth. “Oh my God. Oh my God! Yes, of course, I can.” Finally, she just let out a yelp of excitement. “Thank you, Andy. Thank you for letting me know! Oh my God. So, what’s next? Okay. Okay. I’ll call you tonight,” she said before hanging up.
“What’s going on?”
Jade let out a scream of joy and pulled me into a hug, her boney frame pressing against my ample chest.
“I got the part of understudy for a pretty big role in The Phenomenals…on Broadway! It was one of the two auditions I had last week. I had thought it was a longshot. My agent wasn’t even going to send me initially!” When she let out another loud squeal, Justin came downstairs.
“What the hell is going on down here?”
She ran toward him and threw herself into his arms. “Baby! I got understudy for the role of Veronica in The Phenomenals!”
“Are you kidding? Holy shit. That’s fucking awesome!” He lifted her up in the air and spun her around.
Feeling awkward and like a third wheel, I cleared my throat and said, “Congratulations, Jade. I’m so happy for you!”
Justin finally put her down. “When does this all go down?”
“They want me in New York in a couple of days.”
He looked frazzled. “Aw, shit. Alright…um…I wish I hadn’t committed to that gig at Sandy’s. I would have just gone back with you.”
“It’s okay. It’s only a couple more weeks that you promised him, right? It’ll go by fast.”
“Yeah.”
Jade smiled. “Be nice to Amelia.”
***
From the moment Jade left, Justin made even more of an effort to stay in his room during the day and also ignored me at the restaurant. He never performed She Likes To Watch again.
Aside from my intentionally joining him in the kitchen when I knew he was having his coffee, there was no other interaction. It seemed that Jade’s departure was causing even more distance between us. It went on like that for a few days until the one afternoon that everything changed.
I’d just gotten home from an afternoon shift at Sandy’s when what sounded like wretched hurling coming from upstairs caught my attention. Without thinking it through, I ran up the steps to find Justin keeled over with his face inside the toilet.
“Oh my God, are you throwing up?”
“Nah. I’m giving cunnilingus to the toilet. What the fuck do you think?”
“Did you eat something bad?”
He shook his head before another volcano of puke erupted within him. Looking away, I shut my eyes until he was finished.
“Can I get you any—”
“Just go, Amelia.” He flushed the toilet.
There was something about a person being sick and helpless that made you see the child in them. Despite Justin’s trying to act tough, he seemed virtually helpless in that moment.
“Are you sure I can’t get you—”
“Leave!” My body shook as he screamed.
As another round of vomiting commenced, I reluctantly went back downstairs.
After several minutes, I could hear him returning to his bedroom. I stayed downstairs for about an hour. Things were unusually quiet. On a normal day, he’d be moving around in his room, so I knew he’d either fallen asleep or was lying down. Being the paranoid person that I was, I started to imagine that maybe he’d passed out from dehydration. He hadn’t come down to get a drink of water. Given all that he’d thrown up, that was dangerous.
I sucked it up and marched up the stairs. Lightly knocking on his door, I didn’t bother to wait for him to respond before entering. “Justin?”
He was lying on his side, his head against the pillow, and his eyes were open. He just stared at me blankly, but his eyes seemed glassy.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
Without seeking permission, I approached and placed my hand on his forehead. It felt hot to the touch. “You’re burning up. We need to take your temperature.”
I ran to the bathroom and fished through the medicine cabinet for a thermometer before returning to Justin.
“Put this in your mouth.”
He chuckled. “That’s normally my line.”
Rolling my eyes, I demanded, “Just do it.” I was slightly relieved that he was actually joking around with me.
Amazingly, he didn’t fight me on taking his temperature. The thermometer beeped, and it showed that he had a significant fever.
“It’s one-hundred and two point five. Were you supposed to play tonight?”
“Mmm hmm,” he moaned.
“I’m calling Salvatore, telling him you can’t make it.”
“Don’t. I might see how I feel in an hour.”
“There is no way you are going to be able to perform like this.”
“I’ll call him in an hour,” he insisted.
Justin’s phone buzzed, and he reached over to check it before placing it back on the nightstand.
“Was that Jade?”
“Yeah.”
“Does she know you’re sick?”
“Yes.”
“Does she have rehearsals tonight?”
“No.”
“Is she coming?”
“No. Why would she come all the way here because I have a fever?”
I didn’t have an answer. I just knew that if my boyfriend were this sick, I would want to be with him. Maybe he’d downplayed it.
“What can I get you?”
“Nothing. Privacy. That’s what you can get me.”
“I’m getting you something to drink. I don’t care what you say. You’ll get dehydrated.”
“Make it a stiff one if you’re gonna continue playing nurse,” he yelled after me.
I went downstairs and returned with a bottle of water and a small towel.
Handing him the bottle and two Tylenol, I said, “Here. Drink up.” Justin swallowed the pills and took a sip before eyeing the wash cloth.
“What the hell are you going to do with that thing?”
“It’s a wet cloth.” I placed it on his forehead. “It will bring down the fever.”
He moved my hand off of him. “I can take care of myself, Amelia.”
Ignoring his comment, I simply said, “I’ll call Salvatore. Get some sleep.”
After another bout of vomiting, Justin turned in for the night. Even though I’d left some extra waters with him, I worried that maybe he wasn’t drinking anything. So, I decided to check in on him one more time before I went to sleep.
He was awake and sitting up on the bed and looked really pale.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
“We should take your temperature again.”
This time when I pulled the thermometer out of his mouth, my heart nearly stopped. “Oh my God. It says one-hundred four point five. Justin, that’s dangerous. We need to get you to the emergency room.”
“I’m not going to the hospital.”
“This is not up for debate.”
Grabbing my phone, I immediately started searching the Internet for information on adult fevers. “It says here that a fever over one-hundred and five can be deadly. You could get brain damage.”
“That’s a little extreme. Don’t you think?”
“I don’t care if it’s extreme. You need to get seen.”
“I’m not going.”
“Then I’ll stay here all night until you agree to go.”
“Emergency rooms skeeve me out.”
“Would you rather be dead?”
“Hmm. It’s a toss-up between that and being stuck in this room with you yelling in my ear.”
“That’s real nice.”
“Why are you involving yourself in this, Amelia?”
“I don’t care how you feel about me, alright? I care about you. I always have, and I always will, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
After a long pause, he closed his eyes, and let out a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll fucking go.”
“Thank you.”
Justin was shivering during the dark ride to Newport Hospital. Before we left the house, I’d texted Jade and promised to keep her updated throughout the night.
When we arrived, we lucked out that the emergency room was pretty quiet. They took Justin right into one of the small curtained-off treatment areas in the back. No one—including Justin—protested my going back there with him.
They hooked him up to an IV and gave him Motrin. Over the course of an hour, they also ran a battery of blood tests.
A new doctor who had just come on shift entered the room.
“How are you feeling Mr. Banks?”
“Like crap.” Justin squinted his eyes to get a closer look at the doctor’s hospital I.D. “Is your name seriously Dr. Danger?”
The doctor rolled his eyes. “It’s actually pronounced like hanger. Dan-ger.”
“Do they know what’s going on with him, Doc?”
He held out his hand. “Call me Will. Please.”
I took it. “Amelia…”
He smiled, sort of giving me a flirtatious vibe. “Well, we think it’s a combination of things going on here. An unidentifiable bacterial infection that caused a high fever and vomiting in addition to dehydration. We’ve ruled out more serious issues.” He looked at Justin. “You’re very lucky your girlfriend brought you in. Fevers of that level can be quite dangerous in adults.”
Justin glanced over at me briefly before he turned to Dr. Danger again. “How long am I gonna be sick?”
“It’s probably going to last a few days, but we’d like to keep you overnight for observation because of the severity of your fever and to get some more fluids and vitamins into you.”
“I have to sleep here?”
“Yes. We’ll move you into a more comfortable room.”
Justin frowned. “Can I object?”
“I’m afraid not. I’m sure your girlfriend will keep you company.”
“Oh. I’m not his girlfriend,” I corrected. “His girlfriend is in New York.”
“Sister?”
“No. We’re just…” I hesitated. What were we? “We were friends years ago. Now we live together in a house we both inherited.”
Dr. Danger looked utterly confused then asked, “You’re not dating each other then?”
“No,” Justin was quick to answer.
“No,” I repeated.
“Do you live locally, Amelia?”
“Yes. I live about ten minutes down the road.”
“I’ve actually just moved here from Pennsylvania. Perhaps, you’d like to show me around the island sometime?”
He’d really caught me off guard. Dr. Danger—Will—was definitely attractive in a clean-cut semi-older way. With his dark hair and large brown eyes, he was handsome enough. I couldn’t say my body had anywhere near the reaction to him that it did for Justin. But maybe it would be good to accept his offer.
“Sure. That would be nice.”
“Great.” He fished inside the pocket of his white jacket for his phone. “Give me your number? I’ll program it here.”
Justin looked miffed as I recited my digits.
“The nurse will be back in to check on him soon. I’ll call you.” He winked.
“Okay.” I smiled, offering a small wave.
After Will left the room, Justin looked over at me from the bed and huffed, “What a fucking loser.”
“Loser? Why? Because only a loser would be attracted to me?”
“What kind of a doctor picks up a patient’s friend like that on the job?”
“Oh, now we’re friends?”
Ignoring my question, he said, “Seriously, that was lame. He’s a cheeseball.”
“I happen to like cheeseballs, especially if they come in the form of good-looking doctors. Cheeseballs are better than downright mean people.”
“Whatever.”
A nurse then came in to tell us that the other room was ready. She walked us into an elevator to the second floor where Justin was placed in an overnight suite. Still hooked up to the IV, he finally fell asleep. Soon after, I followed suit, conking out on the cot next to his bed.
About an hour later, it was sometime early in the morning. I woke up before he did and marveled at how even though he was so sick, he was still handsome as ever with his matted hair and especially with his overgrown stubble. Then, Justin unexpectedly opened his eyes. When he saw me lying on the makeshift bed next to him, he looked surprised.
“I thought you would have gone home.”
“No. I couldn’t leave you.”
“You really didn’t have to stay.”
“It was fine. I would have been worried.”
He didn’t respond, but the look on his face softened.
The nurse walked in and checked his vitals and temperature. “Your fever is still high…one-hundred two point five…but at least it’s responding to the medicine and going in the right direction. I’m going to check with the doctor on call about your being discharged.”
“Thank God,” Justin muttered.
***
When we arrived back to the beach house, Justin settled into his bed once again. Thankfully, the vomiting part of the illness seemed to have passed, even though the fever hadn’t. Jade would text from time to time, and I would continue to give her updates.
The nurse had said it was important for him to eat something and stay hydrated, so I boiled him some chicken broth and brought it upstairs. He was sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake him, so I opted to take it back downstairs until he woke up. He must have heard the mug moving against the saucer because as I was heading back out the door, his voice stopped me.
“What are you doing?”
“I made you some broth. The nurse said you need to eat.”
Returning to his bedside, I handed it to him as he scooted up against the headboard and began to sip it. I turned around to head out the door again when I felt his hand grab my arm.
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I’ll just come back for the mug.”
As I headed out the door, his voice stopped me again. “Patch.”
My body froze. His calling me by the old nickname had totally stunned me. I never thought I’d hear it again.
“Turn around,” he said.
When I did, his face reflected a sincerity that I hadn’t seen in years.
He placed the mug and saucer on the table and said, “Thank you…for everything. Thank you for taking care of me.”
So caught off guard and overcome with emotion, I simply nodded once and continued out the door, unable to stop thinking about his words for the rest of the night.
***
Two days later, Justin’s fever had finally broken, but he still wasn’t feeling up to performing. I was watching television downstairs when he sat down on the couch next to me. He put his legs up on the ottoman and crossed his arms. It was the first time he’d ever chosen to hang out in the living room when I was lounging.
He’d just showered and smelled like aftershave. My body immediately reacted to the closeness of his legs to mine even though we weren’t touching.
I wished he were mine.
Where did that thought come from?
“What’s this crap you’re watching?”
“Some reality show. I can change it if you want.”
“No. I invaded your space.”
“I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too.”
Throwing the controller at him, I said, “Seriously, take the remote.”
He handed it back to me. “Nah. I owe you. You put up with my shit when I was sick and whiny. The least I can do is sit through listening to these whiny bitches.”
“Well, if you really want to thank me for nursing you back to health, there is something else you can do.”
He lifted his brow curiously. “Alright…”
God, I just realized how that sounded.
“You can talk to me.”
“Talk?”
“Yes.”
He let out a deep sigh. “I really don’t want to open up an old can of worms. We both know what happened. It’s not gonna change anything.”
Not beyond begging, I looked into his eyes. “Please?”
He suddenly got up.
“Where are you going?”
“I need a drink for this,” he said, walking toward the kitchen.
“Can you get me one, too?” I hollered after him. My heartbeat began to accelerate in preparation. Was this really happening? Was he going to talk about what happened or just listen to me ramble?
He returned with a bottle of beer for himself and a glass of white wine for me. It surprised me that he knew exactly what I wanted, even though I hadn’t specified. It proved that he’d been observant even when pretending to ignore me.
He took a long sip then placed his beer on the coffee table. “We have to set some rules.”
“Alright.”
“Rule number one, if I say we’re done talking, we’re done talking.”
“Okay.”
“Rule number two…after tonight, we don’t talk about shit that happened in the past. This is it. One night only.”
“Okay. I can handle that.”
Grabbing the bottle again, he downed half of the beer before slamming it down on the table. “Alright. Go.”
Where would I begin?
I just needed to throw it all out there.
“There is no excuse for my leaving the way I did. I was young and stupid and scared. My biggest fear had always been getting hurt by you, because you were the one person I could count on besides Nana. When I found out you knew what was happening behind my back…I took it as betrayal. At the time, I didn’t realize that you were just trying to protect me.”
***
Nine Years Earlier
Mom was out per usual, so I would be sneaking out with Justin to go to the little red theater. This week, they were playing an Italian film called Si Vive Una Volta Sola that I had been wanting to see.
As he always did, Justin met me at the corner.
“We’d better hurry up,” he said. “We don’t want to miss the nine o’clock show.”
“We’re good on time. Relax.”
We started the walk to the bus stop when I realized I didn’t have my bus pass. It was inside of a hoodie that I knew I’d left inside Justin’s house when we were doing homework the other day.
“Shoot. We need to go inside your house. My bus pass is in the pocket of my jacket that I left in your dining room.”
He waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll just pay for you.”
“No, Justin. That’s stupid. We still have plenty of time.”
I started walking back toward his house.
He grabbed my arm. “Stop. I have it covered.”
“I’m going inside.”
An uncharacteristically panicked look flashed across his face. “We can’t.”
“Why?”
As was usual every other week, his mother, Carol, was on an out of town business trip. I couldn’t understand why he was so insistent that we not go inside his house.
He looked like he was struggling to come up with an excuse. His eyes moved from side to side, and my instinct just told me something was off.
“What are you keeping from me?”
“Nothing. We just can’t go in there right now.”
“I don’t understand. Your father’s car is outside. He’s home. Why can’t I just run in and get my jacket?”
“My father would get mad if he knew I was going out with you. I told him I was going out with Rob.”
“I don’t believe that. Your father knows we hang out. He’s cool with it.”
“Not at night.”
“You’re lying.”
“Patch, will you just trust me?”
I suddenly ran toward the front door and knocked frantically. There was no answer for almost a full minute before Elton Banks finally answered the door.
“Hi. Justin and I were heading to the movies, but I need my bus pass. It’s in my jacket that I left in your dining room. I just need to come in and get it.”
Justin’s dad looked over at him worriedly. Meanwhile, Justin’s face was practically white.
When Mr. Banks hesitated to let me in, I pushed my way past him. “I just need my jacket.” After entering the dining room, I spotted my sweatshirt hanging on the chair. Something else caught my eye: my mother’s faux fur coat.
What was she doing here?
It didn’t take me long to figure it out. Storming upstairs, I knew exactly where I was going to find her. I burst through Justin’s parents’ bedroom to find my mother frantically trying to put on her clothes.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I shook my head in disbelief before running back down the stairs and out the front door.
Justin ran after me. “Patch, wait. Please!”
I turned around and spewed, “You knew about this?” You KNEW that my mother was here messing around with your father? How long has this been going on?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“I can’t believe this!”
“I’m sorry, Patch. I’m so sorry.”
I ran back into my house and slammed the door, unsure of what hurt more: my mother’s actions or Justin’s keeping it all from me.
