MY POUNDING heart echoed in my ears as I sucked down a breath deep into the bottom of my lungs. My legs burned with the effort to propel myself down the rink, but I ignored my body’s screams to stop. Instead, I dug into the feeling, knowing that it meant I was pushing myself to my very limit.
The puck felt natural on my stick, like the two were stuck together as I weaved in and out of defensemen. We were tied two-two in the championship game, and like hell I’d let us go into overtime. No, this stopped here, with this goal.
Alex skated up my left side out of view of the players focused on me. I deked right until they moved with me before sending a blind pass to where I knew Alex was just as the defensemen crashed into me, lifting me off my feet. Pain radiated through me, and my lungs refused to take a breath, but I didn’t care. All my focus was on Alex’s bar down goal.
I heaved my breath and shoved the player off me. He looked utterly defeated, and I patted his head while getting up. “Good game, buddy.”
He just growled. Not that I could blame him. They’d been fucking close to winning. Too fucking close, but we’d shut them down like I knew we would.
Our team was huddled around Alex, cheering our victory, but my eyes searched for the pretty brunette I knew would be in the crowd. Somehow, in the last few months, she’d become the only person I wanted to celebrate with.
My breath hitched when I spotted her wide eyes, a smile taking over her face. She bit her lower lip, knowing it drove me crazy. I skated toward her, and her eyes grew wider with each move until only a quarter inch of glass separated us.
“Meet me at the dressing room entrance,” I yelled over the roar of the crowd. I didn’t want to wait a single second more than I had to.
“What?” She turned her head and moved her ear closer to the glass.
“Meet me at the dressing room entrance.” I shouted the words.
She shook her head, and her cheeks turned the beautiful shade of pink I loved so much. She knew that was where girlfriends waited for their men.
I stared her down, hoping she could see just how serious I was. “You better fucking be there, Trouble. You don’t want me tracking you down, and I promise you I will.”
A shudder ran through her. Maybe she would like me hunting her. I stored that away for later.
Her hands wrung in front of her, and she nodded. “Hurry.”
Fuck. With that word, I raced to the dressing room.
Alex charged into me, nearly knocking me over. “Buddy, that pass was wicked.”
“Get off me.” I broke from his arms, trying to strangle me like a motherfucking python. “I don’t have time for this.”
“Your girl meeting you, Jaxy?” Lucas smiled from across the dressing room. This time, instead of denying it, I smiled wide, letting every player in here know she was mine.
Alex patted my back. “You better hurry the fuck up, then. That one’s skittish.”
Didn’t I fucking know it? It felt like any second she could disappear on me, but screw that. I was claiming her today, letting every asshole know who she was with.
Sidney’s muffled voice came from the hall. “He asked me to come.”
I was on my feet, half-dressed with my hockey pads still on but jerseyless.
Our security guard laughed and pushed her back. “Listen, I’ve heard that at least a dozen times today. That’s what all the bunnies say.”
Anger flashed through me, and I pulled the guard back by his collar. “Call my girl a bunny again and I can promise you will regret it.”
Both of his hands flew up in defense. “Sorry. I just—well, you know how it is.”
“No, how about you tell me why you stopped my girl from coming in?”
Sidney gasped at my words. There was no way anyone missed them. The place was packed with reporters and fans.
“I—I didn’t know. It won’t happen again.” I must’ve looked feral because there was genuine fear in his eyes.
“Jax, let him go. I’m fine.” I instantly dropped him and moved toward Sid. I was always taller than her, but I was more than a foot taller in my skates.
She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes blown wide. She always loved making me jealous. “No one touches you, Trouble.”
She smirked in response. “Except you.”
“Smart girl.” I hauled her off her feet into my chest, eating up her squeal, followed by a giggle. I lifted her high enough so she was a few inches above me, looking down. Our eyes searched each other’s while cameras clicked around us. I’d publicly claimed her, but she hadn’t claimed me.
Her slow, seductive smile grew, and she leaned down, owning my mouth, showing every single person here that she was mine and I was hers.
At least for now. That thought sank like a stone, and I struggled to take my next breath. Sidney caught it, searching my gaze before capturing my lips again in an all-consuming kiss.
Fuck it. This was worth everything that was coming. She was worth it.
My coach yelled from behind me. “Hurry the hell up, Ryder. You’ve got press in five.”
I reluctantly let her slide to the ground, my grip still tight on her hips. She looked around, her brows pulled together as she took in the dozens of cameras pointed our way.
“Eyes on me, Trouble.”
She didn’t hesitate, gaze flashing to mine, and I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll come to your place as soon as I’m done.”
It had been three days since we won the Championship, and our lives had been so busy I’d barely seen her. Now, Sid stood in my doorway, looking up at me expectantly. My smile melted from my face as she looked around, brows pinching. Shit. My breath caught in my chest, and my throat tightened. I’d been so caught up in everything that I didn’t think about how she would react to this. Everything had been nuts since our manager called this afternoon. Apparently, the Boston manager had watched our game three days ago and was so impressed that instead of leaving after graduation, I was heading out two weeks early. It had been a bit of a clusterfuck since that moment. The guys had told a few people, and the news spread fast. Our house had been filled with people for the last few hours. Sid’s cheeks were red from the crisp night air, and her head tilted to the side, looking into my eyes. A pit formed in my stomach. I didn’t want to tell her this next step. I didn’t want to acknowledge the end of our journey, even with the excitement of what was happening to my career.
Sid smiled up at me, looking a bit confused. The house was packed and boisterous with excitement, which was in stark contrast to its normal state. She wrapped her arms around my middle, gently pushing me back so she could get into the house. “What’s going on?”
Her smile faded a bit as she saw my serious expression. Fuck. I should’ve told her as soon as I’d heard. If I wanted her to trust I would consider her first, this was a hell of a way to show it. We agreed everything would end once I left, but I was counting on Sid to give a little on this. At a minimum, for her to recognize what we had and be willing to take a chance on us. I didn’t need her to follow me to Boston, but I hoped she’d wait for me. I tilted my forehead down, resting it on hers, and ran my thumb over her knuckles. My hand dwarfed hers, skin smooth as my thumb stroked over it. I wanted to pause this moment. Live in it a bit longer.
Pain radiated in my chest, knowing what I had to say, and I did my best to put on a smile. It faltered when I said the next words. “There’s some good news I want to tell you about.”
She searched my face. “Okay, I actually have some good news too.” She drew the words out, hesitation seeping into her voice.
I led her up the stairs to the privacy of my room. She took no time to sit comfortably on my bed, having spent so much time here in recent months. She backed up to lean against the headboard, tucking her knees to her chin. I never wanted to leave this room. I took a breath, trying to act normal, but questions invaded my mind. Would she be happy for me? Had her mind changed at all? Could I possibly let her go?
I met her eyes. “The Bruins called, and they’ve invited me to early spring camp.” I paused before delivering this next blow. “I’ll be leaving a week before graduation, but after classes.”
Sid’s breath hitched, and her face snapped downward, hiding her reaction from me. Her only tell was the barely there tremble as she released her breath.
“Hey.” I tipped her chin up so I could look at her. “This was always the plan, right?”
She flinched at my words, and I’d never hoped for someone to tell me I was wrong more than I did at this moment. My breath caught when I saw fire in her eyes, but she looked away and nodded.
Sidney stood, and her body lost its softness that was there a minute ago. “Yeah, of course.”
Why couldn’t I tell her I wanted the rules to change? That I was a safe bet. The truth was simple: I wasn’t. I was everything she worried about. I’d never be around, but I was still standing here selfishly, wishing she would stay with me.
“That’s amazing, Jax. You deserve it.” Her smile grew, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Coming closer, she tucked herself into my chest, and her arms tightened around me. “I had some pretty great news today too. The head of my internship finally called, and they’ve set up my in-person interview next weekend.” She smiled up at me for real this time. “I guess we should celebrate.”
I rubbed my thumbs along her cheekbones and leaned down, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Yeah… I guess we should.” Except I didn’t feel like celebrating. I felt like hiding in here, away from everyone and everything that was going to stand between what we had, wanting to soak up every precious diminishing moment until I left.
When we got downstairs, there were even more people here. I barely recognized any of them. Everyone wanted to be a part of the excitement. An overwhelming need to grab Sid and drag her back upstairs filled me, but before I could, she gave me another small smile, leaving my side, and headed off to see Piper.
Good. Maybe Piper could rub off on her. She was sticking it out with Lucas. She was visiting when she could during the season, and they’d stay together when we were off. She wasn’t afraid to commit to him, to accept the challenge of being with a pro athlete.
Piper chose Lucas, willing to make hard sacrifices because she believed he was worth it. I knew Sid was, that we had something special, a once-in-a-lifetime kind of connection. I would spend the next two weeks doing anything I could to convince her to feel the same.
Late at night, I thought about making the sacrifice myself. I could ditch the team and follow her to Ottawa. In those moments, I truly understood why she kept her distance because even in my thoughts, I regretted it. Like she would regret not getting the life she had planned. It didn’t stop me from wishing for it, though.
Lucas handed me a beer and wrapped his heavy arm around my shoulders. “Relax a bit. It’s the happiest day of your life. Act like it.” His voice was loud, but it was missing his usual lightness. His eyes focused on Piper, and worry coated his face. He dragged me into the other room, getting away from the girls for a bit. He was right. It was time to celebrate, not dwell on things we couldn’t change.
I was talking to one of Alex’s friends when Sid touched my arm. “Hey, it’s late. I’m going to head home.”
We’d both been busy all night talking to everyone. I’d stolen her away for a hidden kiss earlier, but she’d been preoccupied with chatting. I almost believed she was fine with me leaving sooner, but the way her arms tightened around me and her eyes roamed over me during that kiss said otherwise. We paused for a moment, foreheads pressed together, breathing in each other’s air before she pulled back, giving me a weak smile, and walked away.
“What? It’s only 10:30 p.m.” My brows pulled down. We’d been together every night since I’d come back early from spring break.
Sid’s hands ran along her arms, and I tried to meet her gaze, but she looked at the floor. The thought of her not being beside me sent a pain through my chest.
“You’re not staying the night?” I stuffed my hands in my pockets, already knowing the answer.
She took a beat but shook her head no. “This party looks like it has a few hours left in it.” She adjusted her bag and shrugged. “I’m tired, and I have an early shift tomorrow.” Her eyes finally met mine, and there was light in them. “I’m thrilled for you. This is such a huge deal, and I’m proud. Someday soon, I’ll be able to say I went to college with that guy!”
Her words stung, and a bitter taste filled my mouth. “If you weren’t so stubborn, it wouldn’t have to be that way.”
It fucking sucks. I knew it would be hard, but it didn’t mean we shouldn’t try. My jaw clenched, and I stood straighter. The truth she couldn’t see was she was the one leaving me.
“No need to make this harder on us. Like you said, this was the plan.” Responding in a crisp, impersonal voice, she turned and left, with me following a few steps behind her. I stood out on the porch as she drove away, and dread filled me. Everything in me wanted to promise her it would work. That we would find a way and that all of her worries were unfounded, but deep down, I knew I’d break every promise, and she knew it too.
