I FOLDED and unfolded my napkin and trailed my fingers over my thin gold watch, checking it for the tenth time, then rolled my empty wineglass between my palms. I’d finished it in a few sips when I first got here to help with the jitters of seeing my dad. Not that it helped.
He was late. He was always late.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t coming. Right? How late was “didn’t show up” late? A sinking feeling started in my stomach and dropped through the floor.
How much longer could I sit here before I became truly pathetic? Pain tightened my chest, and my eyes burned. I would not cry. I should’ve expected this. I was just so desperate for crumbs that I grasped at the possibility of seeing him despite his words, “I’ll fit you in,” like I was a business appointment and not his daughter.
I didn’t realize how much I’d wanted to see him. To tell him all about my new internship and maybe even about Jax. I knew he’d have issues with it, but maybe after I explained how he was, he’d have some advice. Things were different. Instead, I sat here with a red face, and pitying glances turned my way. The part hitting me the hardest was I knew better. I let my heart soften to the idea of hanging with him, wanting to believe in a different reality.
I was sure my dad would have some reasonable excuse for not showing up. Something I wouldn’t be able to refute because it would be utterly rational. “Oh, sorry, kiddo. I couldn’t make it because my flight was delayed, and I didn’t have enough time between connections.” He always had a believable reason. That was, until you realized it was Every. Single. Time.
In reality, it all came down to the fact that I wasn’t important compared to his lifestyle. It was damn hard to compete with going on cruises, big celebrity parties, or playing giant arenas. You’d think he would have grown bored with that life enough to find some time to fit me in, but the opposite was true.
My dad spent barely enough time with me when I was a kid, but the longer he was a big-time coach, the more he believed his own excuses. And this right here was why I swore never to date a hockey player. It was a world complete unto itself, and it had a self-perpetuating feedback loop that made the world feel like it truly revolved around them. Asking someone to step out of that loop, to come back to earth and visit for a minute, felt like an imposition.
My hand pressed to my chest and tried to hold my heart together. Jax wasn’t like that, though. He was different, right?
I couldn’t picture him falling into his own feedback loop like my dad did. Jax was constantly thinking about how I felt and made sure I was happy. I was important to him. So why did a part of me feel like, no matter what, one day I’d end up right here again… but with Jax missing on the other side of the table?
Screw this. I refused to let my dad make me feel small. The heat of anger rose up my spine. I covered my bill, and I snatched up my phone, quickly ordering an Uber. It was time to smash some shit.
My heels crunched on the fine gravel as I stomped across the junkyard, making a beeline for the sofa. Everything was still where I wanted it, even though I hadn’t been here since the time with Jax. I dug in my clutch for a hair tie, snatching my hair up into a quick ponytail. I tossed my clutch on the sofa and dragged out my favorite bat and the safety glasses.
An hour later, my brow was slick with sweat, and my hands were shaking. I dropped the bat, knowing I’d probably made a callous on my thumb. I looked at my watch again. It was just under an hour until Lucas would get Piper. Flopping onto the sofa, I dug in my clutch for my phone and shot off a quick text.
Me: How’s it going? Everything in place?
Jax: What are you doing texting me? How’s your dad?
Me: I’m excited for them. It’s a big moment and I’m sad I’ll miss it.
Jax: Have your dad swing you around when he’s on his way back to the airport
Me: Well, that’s going to be a problem. My dad never made it.
Jax: WTF?
My phone immediately rang. I hesitated to pick it up when I saw Jax’s name scroll across the front. I took a calming breath, and I answered, “Hi.”
“Sid, is everything okay? Is your dad okay?” His voice was soft, questioning.
“Yeah, I’m sure he’s fine. He does this sometimes.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
“Does what? Leaves you hanging?”
“Pretty much. You know how it is. Important jobs come first.” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Seriously, that’s fucked-up. When’s the last time you saw him?”
“A year ago.” I held the phone away from my face as I took a shuddering breath and clamped my jaw shut, not willing to cry over someone I knew better than to count on. “Jax… I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m so sorry, Sid. I know how much you were looking forward to seeing him.” He let out a harsh breath, and I could picture him pacing in a circle.
Just then, Fred drove by in a truck, and a high-pitched beeping sound echoed off the towers of scrapped metal all around when he got to work.
“Trouble?” Jax could obviously hear it through the phone. “Where are you?” His voice was pitched low with concern.
With my hand pressed over the mic on my phone, I waited for Fred to shut off the incessant beeping.
“Sid… Sidney?”
“I just… need to blow off some steam,” I blurted out. Jax went to say something, but I cut him off. “Enough about me. Tell me about the engagement!” I didn’t have to force my voice to lighten as my genuine excitement shined through. “Do you think it’s weird if I ask you to FaceTime with me so I can see it too?”
Muffled noise came from the other end. Jax talked to someone but must’ve covered the phone, just like I did.
“I’m coming to get you.” It was a statement, not a question.
“What? Jax, no, you can’t. There’s not enough time. You can’t miss it.” I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me.
He paused. “You’re right.”
Letting out my breath, I thanked god he saw reason. “Have fun. Make sure you take pictures, and don’t forget to save me a piece of cake.” I forced as much cheer into my voice as I could.
“Whatever you want, Sid.” There was noise on the other end of the phone, and I could tell he’d muffled it again. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you later.”
It used to be that the junkyard could relieve all my worries. It was my haven. My odd source of strength. My immediate confidence booster. The cheapest therapy money could buy. But it hadn’t been able to work its magic tonight.
Someone cleared their throat. As if I conjured him from thin air, Jax stood there in a long-sleeved hunter-green Henley and dark-washed jeans. His hair was in its signature ruffled style, and his smile spread as his eyes roamed over me.
I was sure I must look ridiculous in my heels and cocktail dress, standing in the middle of the junkyard with safety glasses on, shit-smashing bat in hand. “How did you find me?” I dropped the bat, turning to face him.
Jax shrugged, lips tipping up in a grin. “The tow truck was a bit of a giveaway.”
Instantly, a weight fell from my shoulders, and I ran to him, throwing my arms around him. “You’re not supposed to be here! Lucas’s proposal is more important than this,” I muffled out, my face pressed into his chest, but I had no will to pull away. His strong arms tightened around me, and I met his concerned gaze.
“Lucas’s delaying so I could come get you. He won’t pop the question until we get there, but you better hurry.” There was a smile in his voice, and his tone was warm, comforting.
“Delaying?”
“Yeah, and there’s only so many tricks to keep Piper distracted, so let’s go. Grab your stuff. And keep the safety glasses,” he added with another smirk. “You look hot.”
With all my previous worries of the day forgotten, I grinned as Jax pulled me away with him.
We crouched behind the concrete railing and looked down the line of people. Everyone was here: the guys, close friends, what must be Piper’s family and friends from back home. Everyone smiled, silently waiting for the signal, telling us Lucas and Piper were in place. There was an electric joy buzzing in my chest, and Jax faced me, gaze peering into my eyes, a grin pulling at his mouth. His giddiness was contagious, and I covered my mouth to stop from laughing.
I barely caught Alex’s signal from the corner of my eye, and we jumped out, flipping a giant banner with the words “Will you marry me?” written across it in bright purple letters.
All of us watched with bated breath as Piper’s eyes widened. She looked from us back to Lucas, who was already down on one knee. Piper’s hand covered her heart, and even from here, I could see her mouth tremble and tears rolling down. She nodded her head vigorously, and a cheer broke out as Lucas pulled her up in his arms, her legs going around his waist.
The guys had thought of everything. The venue was located only a few blocks away, and my mouth dropped when we stepped in. There was a double-length table filled with Piper’s favorite foods. On the other side, there was a dance floor and a DJ setup playing ’90s music. Jax and I dropped off our stuff on one of the wooden tables, and he smiled down at me, eyes wide and happy. “You look beautiful.”
Heart skipping, I wrapped my arms around his middle. “You don’t look half-bad yourself.”
He squeezed me to him, kissing the top of my head. I didn’t notice the dance floor filling with people until Jax backed up, taking my hand. “Let’s dance, Trouble.”
I couldn’t resist the wicked grin that tilted his lips.
The music had a slow, deep bass undercurrent that screamed of late nights. Jax pulled me close to him, and we danced with my cheek against his chest. I relaxed into his body, letting the warmth seep into my skin, chasing away the pain from tonight. Lifting onto my toes, I whispered, “Thank you.”
He kissed my nose, eyes light with joy for his friends. “You have nothing to thank me for.”
“Yes I do. Thank you for coming for me. I didn’t realize how much I needed you to.”
“Sidney…” He ran his thumb along my jaw until I met his gaze, and his voice turned serious. “I will always come get you when you need me. We’re a team. I would never leave you hanging.”
The air whooshed out of me because I wanted to believe him. I wanted to give it a chance. I trusted him. It felt like I was hanging over a precipice, unsure what would happen if I fell, but I didn’t want to stop moving forward.
“I was thinking we could make a trip to the city the weekend of my internship meeting?” My gaze met his, and I knew he could read my hopeful expression. “We could go check out the apartments I’m looking at? Make a night of it?”
I knew he read between the lines, that this was a chance to see what it would be like if we stayed together. See how we could fit our lives together, even though there were obstacles.
“Eeeee!” A high-pitched squeal had me turning in time to catch Piper as she slammed herself into me. I got caught up in her joy, and soon, I was hugging her back and jumping with her.
Jax stepped back and smiled. “Congratulations. Let me know if he causes you any trouble.” He pointed his thumb in Lucas’s direction.
She beamed up at Lucas but turned back to me. “I’m happy you came. Lucas told me you almost couldn’t make it.” Her eyes glowed, joy radiating from her as she hugged me close. “You’re practically family now. Wouldn’t have been the same without you.” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before Lucas swept her away to speak with another couple.
I watched them as they moved together in sync. Their situation wasn’t much different from ours, and they were taking the jump. Sure, Piper would eventually move to wherever Lucas was playing, but that would be years away. Piper would always be the center of his universe, and if they could have that, maybe I could too.
Jax placed a gentle kiss on my head, pulling me from my thoughts and sending a shiver down my spine. My entire body sank into him. I stayed there with his arms wrapped tightly around me, even as the songs changed. Jax’s fingers drifted mindlessly up and down my spine, occasionally stopping to run through my hair, and his breath skimmed my neck, sending electricity down my spine with every exhale. He hummed deep within his chest, rumbling against me every so often, arms solid, content to stay like this. I ran my fingers through the back of his hair. It had grown out a bit since I’d met him, enough that I could swirl it around my finger. He swayed me back and forth in our own rhythm as dancers moved around us. Everything in this moment was perfect.
JAX
Sidney was lying cuddled into my side as I traced designs on her back in long, slow movements. We had been like this for hours, neither of us speaking, both lost in thought.
I couldn’t shake the image of her standing in the junkyard in her sleek gray dress, her shoulders tense and her knuckles white with how tight she was gripping the bat. I watched her smash through several vases before interrupting her, and anger at her dad raised in my chest. She hadn’t seen him in a fucking year. No wonder she put up boundaries with men.
I gently placed a kiss on her head before I asked, “Is your dad the reason you’ve been going to the junkyard?” I tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ears, and her eyes met mine.
“I found it my junior year after he bailed on a weekend with me. I needed some way to blow off steam.”
I ran my thumb over her cheek, wiping away a tear trailing over her cheek, and pressed a kiss there. What she was feeling right now was why she didn’t want to take the risk. I wanted to promise I’d never miss a date, but I knew that wouldn’t be the truth. Life on the road was chaotic, but I had to believe I’d be different.
“What he did tonight.” I paused, choosing my words carefully because, no matter how disappointed she was, Sid loved her dad. “You shouldn’t have to put up with that. He was an ass for not showing or, at a minimum, not giving you a heads-up.”
Shrugging, she settled herself back into me. “I’m used to it.”
