ONE WEEK LATER
JAX SAT on his silver Suitcase and tugged at his hair, completely oblivious to the chaos around him. I was too far away to make out his features, but he was paler than normal and looked like he was wearing two-day-old clothes. My heart ached at the picture he made and I desperately wanted to run to, but my feet remained planted, my body hidden behind the house across the street. My eyes roamed over him, eating up every detail, knowing this would be the last time I saw him, and my chest burned at the thought. I swallowed back a sob and quickly wiped away my tears with the ends of my sleeves.
The yard was pure chaos. His teammates moved in and out of the house, hauling the guys’ things into a moving van. All four of them were off to spring camp together.
“What are you doing here, Sid?” Alex’s firm voice came from behind me, and I jumped a good foot in the air, a squeak escaping from my mouth.
“Jesus Christ, Alex. You scared the shit out of me.” My hand went to my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest.
He nodded in Jax’s direction. “Go talk to him. He’ll want to see you. Know that you came.”
“I can’t.” My voice caught on the words. “It’ll only make it worse.”
I pulled back my shoulders and plastered on a faltering smile. “Anyway, I’m just a fan now. I’ll be following along from afar.”
Alex shook his head, his hands landing on my shoulders, shaking me. His voice was low and serious. “You could never be just a fan. Never. You’ve got to know that. He would give you anything.”
Alex stepped back, a small smile on his face breaking the intensity of the moment. “Now, where’s Mia? I’m assuming she came with you” Alex’s eyes roamed the alley, searching for where she hid.
Sadness filled my voice, knowing I was breaking a part of him. “She didn’t come.”
Mia had watched me get ready but refused to go anywhere near them.
Alex’s smile faltered, and he shook his head, taking a deep breath in as he stared through me, nodding once, twice, his body rigid, before throwing his coffee against the wall. I jumped back from the spray, and Alex looked at me, shocked, like he’d forgotten I was there.
“Shit, sorry.” He looked around one last time, then wrapped me in a bear hug, lifting me off my feet. “I hope this isn’t goodbye but see you later.”
He took off toward his house, and I looked for Jax one last time, but he was gone. Tears stung my eyes, and my hands curled at my sides. I said the words one last time. “I love you.”
Turning away, I didn’t look back at the dream I could’ve had.
