I can’t stop looking at the clock as I wait for my two older brothers to get home. A part of me almost wants them to stay away a little longer, because then I can pretend that my world wasn’t just completely ripped apart. I can imagine that Paul Ryan was lying when he said that he was our father and that, even worse, Shane knew, because otherwise how can the man who I respect more than anyone in this world, the man who raised us, have kept that from us? How could he have let us go through life thinking that our own father despised us?
Jessie is curled up on the sofa with Liam watching a movie while I pace the house looking for a better distraction. She is my perfect distraction, but I can hardly bear to look at her right now. To think that the man responsible for inflicting so much pain and misery on her – the man who did all of those awful things to her – might be my father, makes me feel sick to my stomach. Will she ever look at us the same way again? I spent most of my life wishing that I wasn’t Patrick Ryan’s son. How fucking ironic that now I wish for no other father but him.
The sound of the front door opening makes us all look up as Shane and Conor walk into the room. We all stare at them as they walk over and take a seat.
“Is he definitely dead?” Jessie whispers.
“Well, his head is no longer attached to his body, Angel,” Conor replies with a wink and she nods.
Shane sucks in a deep breath as he looks around the room at the four of us. “Sit down, Mikey,” he says and as much as I feel like telling him to go to hell, I take a seat beside Jessie.
We all look to him. “I know that I owe all of you an explanation and an apology.”
“Too right you fucking do,” I can’t help but snap and he scowls at me in a way that reminds me of being an unruly teenager and I sit back and shut my mouth just like I used to back then.
“Is it true, Shane?” Liam asks.
“I believe so,” Shane replies with a nod and me and my twin look at each other. I don’t need him to speak to know that we are both thinking the same things. Jessie takes one of each of our hands in hers and squeezes as we all stare at Shane.
“I only found out a few weeks ago before Alexei took Liam,” he says.
“How?” Liam snaps.
“Aunt Em called me. When Patrick couldn’t get in touch with any of us, his nurse kept contacting Em, saying he needed to speak to someone and unburden himself of something. Eventually Em agreed and he told her that our mom and Paul had an affair and that he wasn’t your biological father,” he looks to me and Liam.
“I don’t understand,” I frown. “There is no way Patrick Ryan would have stood for that.”
“And he didn’t. He didn’t know at the time, although he suspected something. But when he did find out…”
“That was why he killed her?” Liam says what I’m thinking.
“It seems so,” Shane nods.
“Because of us?” Liam adds.
“No!” Shane barks. “Because he was an evil cunt!”
“Is that why Paul left too?” Conor asks. “Did he know?”
“Yeah.”
“So, he knew and he just left us with that evil fucker?” I snarl. “So, he hated us just as much as Patrick? This just gets fucking better and better.” I pull my hand from Jessie’s and stand up, going back to pacing the floor.
“No. Paul told Aunt Em that he wanted to take you with him, but Patrick would have none of it. His ego wouldn’t let people find out that his wife cheated on him with his own brother, so he gave Paul an ultimatum. Leave or he would meet the same fate as our mom.”
“So, the coward just left!” Liam spat.
“Well, I think we’ve all learned that Paul and Patrick Ryan were both as sick and twisted as each other.”
“So you didn’t know until a few weeks ago?” Liam asks.
“Of course not. You think I would have let you grow up thinking our father hated you both for no reason? I mean he hated us all, but…”
“It explains his particular cruelty to the twins,” Conor finishes for him.
Liam pushes himself up off the sofa too. “You should have told us, Shane!” he barks.
“I know,” Shane holds his hands up in surrender.
I look at Conor, Shane and Jessie staring at me and my twin. Are they looking at us differently now, or am I imagining it? I can’t think straight. This is too much to deal with for one person. Our dad was an evil psychopath who had an affair with our mom, left us to save his own skin, and the kidnapped, raped and tortured the woman that we love. What the actual fuck!
“I need to get out of here,” I say as I head for the door.
“Me too,” Liam agrees as he follows me.
“Mikey! Liam! Where are you going?” Jessie asks.
“Let them go,” Shane says to her and I scowl at him. Is he saying that because he wants rid of us now? Or because he knows that some space away from them is what we need? My head knows it’s the latter, but I am pissed as hell at him, so right now, my wounded ego chooses to believe the former.
“I will never fucking forgive you for keeping this from us!” I snarl at him. “Never!”
“Mikey!” he frowns at me but I turn my back on him and head for the front door.
“I did what I thought was best,” he shouts after us.
“You don’t get to decide what’s best for us, Shane!” Liam snarls at him. “You are not our fucking father so stop acting like you are.”
