I should be able to spot it from a mile away, but we enter the calm before the storm and, like an idiot, I let myself just enjoy it. Gabe and Atlas start to take turns sleeping in my room with me on a mattress on the floor. I marinate in the scents of my Bonds on the pillows, then spend all day wrapped up in their scents with whatever shirts Gabe can steal for me without being too obvious. It keeps my bond calm… not exactly happy, I don’t think I’ll ever really be happy with having them so close but not being Bonded, but I’m level and able to keep my gift under control.
The students all calm down about me being a monster, and the rumors of the nightmare creature hiding in my hair eventually go away. I start to win every week in TT, thanks to my friends and Bonds having my back. Gryphon still won’t talk to me in our training sessions but I don’t exactly bother trying either. We move on to hand-to-hand, and he spends his time tearing me down because I know nothing about punching people correctly.
I’m more of a skilled amateur who gets shit done through sheer force of will. It works.
North is too quiet around me, his eyes a little too keenly observant, and I find myself getting even more nervous around him as the days go on.
Nox stops coming to the Bond dinners altogether.
I stop seeing him in the hallway and at the cafe, and if it weren’t for his scent on the pillows and the hour per week I spend in his class, I would think that he’d disappeared into thin air.
Again, this should be an amazing thing and a total win for me, but my bond is Not Happy with his absence. Even with the stack of soft, worn shirts Gabe found of his for me to wear, it’s like an open wound.
I start getting more assignments back and I find myself comfortably passing all of my classes. I’m definitely not in the top five but I’m way above the bottom, so my panic about my grades eases up a little and I stop studying way into the night.
After the first few weeks of Gabe sneaking off to football games without us, I finally ask North about going to all of the home games to support him. He’s slept on my floor every other night, stolen clothes and pillows, sat in a booth in the cafe for hours to keep an eye on me, and tagged along to every shopping trip I’ve demanded to get my wardrobe situation under control without a single complaint. He’s been more than a good friend to me since he called in a truce.
He’s been a perfect Bond.
The least I can do is show up to his football games in a Draven shirt and face paint to yell at a game I barely have a grasp on the rules and regulations of. It costs me a fortune but I also buy a season ticket for myself and offer to get one for Atlas as well. He declines and pays for one himself but I didn’t want to force anything on him, even though I’m keenly aware that he would never let me go alone.
Sage is thrilled.
We pick her up in the Hellcat because there’s no way I’m going to just meet her there, no matter how calm and boring life has become since we were taken. She climbs into the backseat in a jersey of her own, giggling at the war stripes on my face, but I have much, much bigger fish to fry here.
“Uhm, Sage Benson, I’m fairly sure your brother’s number is sixty-nine. Actually, I’m sure it is because I’ve heard just about every dirty joke possible about it, so why are you wearing a big old number four?”
She blushes and ducks her head a little before she clears her throat. “Felix asked me out and I’ve decided to just give it a go. I’m nervous as hell about it and feel like I might die if he gets the call up for his blood work anytime soon but… yeah. I’m wearing his number tonight.”
I squeal so loud that Atlas winces a little, but he’s grinning just as wide as I am about it, which is all the more points in his favor. He gets us back on the road and racing down the highway to the stadium in no time.
Even thinking about Felix getting a call for a match to his blood work makes me feel sick. Most families in the Gifted community have their children’s blood drawn and entered into the blood directory when they’re born, waiting for the day that they’ll be matched with their Bonds, but there are still thousands of cases of people not being entered until much later in life.
Myself included.
I never had the chance to ask my parents why they decided to wait, and my chest aches a little to think that I’ll never have an answer for that question, as well as a million other things I’ll never get to know.
Atlas notices how quiet I’ve become and threads his fingers through mine as he drives, a silent comfort to me that I’m pretty sure has become vital to my survival at this point.
When we arrive at the stadium, we head straight up to sit in Sage’s ideal seats, Atlas laughing over how excited and bouncy she is as we get up there. Her parents sit directly in front of us and this time, they’re actually nice to me.
Her father tears up as he thanks me for saving his daughter, shaking my hand and clutching at it so desperately that Atlas has to quietly intervene to get me out of his grateful, but forceful, grasp.
I share a look with Sage over it, and she’s cringing like crazy, but if her parents ease up about us being friends, then I’m fine with a little crazed gratitude.
When the players run out onto the field, Sage and I cheer so loudly that people around us stare and whisper, but neither of us give a shit about it. Atlas buys us all hot dogs and drinks, then holds them so we can cheer as the game gets underway. Sage talks the whole time, giving me every stat about the team that could possibly exist, but it just makes it even more fun to watch.
Until it’s not.
I feel the hostility in the air before the first signs of something being wrong.
At half time, we’re up by six points, and there’s a small moment of quiet that no one else seems to notice, but my gift is singing through my veins, coming to the surface as though it’s about to take over my body to keep me safe. The teams run back onto the field and get ready to start the second half, but I want to vomit.
I glance at Atlas, but he’s still laughing with Sage over my head, completely oblivious to the wrong in the air. No one can feel it, no one but me as I sit in a crowd and try not to lose my goddamn mind over it. I start to shake uncontrollably.
“Oli? Sweetness, what’s wrong?” Atlas says, and Sage immediately grabs my hand.
Then the music cuts and the teams go back into their locker rooms, the field clearing quickly as the crowd grows quiet.
There’s a small pop sound and a disturbance in the air next to us before Keiran is suddenly there, standing over Atlas in the aisle.
He doesn’t waste time with niceties or explanations. “Fallows, we need to leave. Benson, go with your parents to the north exit. Straight down and into your car, call Atlas the moment you’re home safe.”
Sage’s parents don’t hesitate to grab her and get moving, so I give her a quick hug and then I’m moving in the opposite direction. The people around us in the crowd call out to Kieran, his TacTeam gear making him an easy target for their fear and confusion, but he just leads the way down towards the tunnels to the locker rooms.
I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m worried.
When we get to the second floor, there’s a huge crowd of people already trying to get out, yelling and screaming about a bomb, and then I officially start to lose my cool. Atlas pulls me into his arms and covers my back entirely and I know he’s preparing himself for an explosion, just in case he needs to shield me. It doesn’t help my freakout. If anything, it makes it worse.
Brutus starts growling at my ear, not a sound, but a feeling, like a rumbling deep in his chest.
The last staircase to the tunnels is bad but when we make it down there, we reach the lowest point of the stadium and the smallest space so far. There are people everywhere, bodies crushing up against mine as we move, and even with Atlas’ arms tight around me and Kieran walking in front of me in an attempt to clear a path and get me the fuck out of here, it’s unbearable to me.
Someone bumps into Atlas and because he’s not using his gift, he jostles me a little, apologizing into my ear as he snarls at everyone around us. The problem is that I don’t care about people bumping into me, I can even talk myself down from freaking out about being crushed, but there’s no way I can handle my Bond being shoved.
I feel my bond take over even as I desperately try to claw it back. It’s no use, in times of danger we’re nothing but instinct and a very animalistic need to fight.
Kieran curses under his breath as he glances back at me, rubbing at the center of his chest desperately. When he lifts his phone to his ear, I already know who’s going to be on the other end of the line.
“Where are you? Fallows is about to take everyone in the tunnels out, I need to move her… copy, we’re on our way.”
He reaches out with one hand to grip my wrist, his eyes flashing white as he calls on his gift of transporting. He doesn’t grab Atlas. I don’t know why he doesn’t grab him, and I hear my Bond’s snarl as I’m ripped away from him and transported away, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
My stomach clenches and revolts at the sensations and when my feet finally hit solid ground again, I lurch away from him, sweat breaking out over my forehead.
I vomit all over the carpet, shaking like a leaf, and I hear the shrill sounds of someone getting pissed about it, but then I look up and they all see the color of my eyes and shut the fuck up.
I’m in an office with North, Nox, and a woman in a skirt suit and heels. She’s got a hand over her mouth and her eyes are wide but that’s not what upsets my bond. Nope.
She has a hand on North’s bicep.
“Jesus fucking Christ, where is Shore? He told me to meet him here, she needs to be—“
The door crashes open so forcefully that it bounces off of the wall and ricochets back at Gryphon as he stalks into the room in full tactical gear, a helmet in his hands, and a neck gaiter pulled over his mouth and nose. He tugs it down and snaps, “Get your hand off of him if you don’t want to have your brain turned into soup, Pen.”
The woman startles and snatches her hand away from North, stepping away from him and stumbling over her feet a little. It doesn’t make me feel any better.
Who is she and why does she think she can touch what’s mine?
Kieran groans behind me. “Fuck, I can feel it in my chest again, Shore. If you don’t do it soon she’s going to go off.”
And then everything turns black.
My bond is livid.
I COME to in my own bed this time, thank God, but I know before I even open my eyes that all of my Bonds are in here with me. The tingles and little shoots of electricity running through me are ridiculous because there’s a lot of shit in this room I don’t want them getting a look at.
Like my bed full of their pillows or my closet that’s overflowing with their stolen shirts.
I don’t want to open my eyes and face them. I don’t want to lose this little haven of smells that Atlas and Gabe built for me, and I really don’t want to deal with the aftermath of them being in trouble for helping me.
A hand grips mine and squeezes a little before Atlas murmurs, “I can tell you’re awake, Sweetness. How are you feeling? Tell me you’re okay.”
I groan and then blink a little as I look around at each of them quickly, just to get a handle of where they all are and how angry they look. Atlas is beside me on the armchair pulled up to the bed, holding my hand. Gryphon and Gabe are standing together in front of the closet, watching me so closely that my skin prickles with it, and Nox is sitting on the other armchair by the door with a sneer on his face.
That just leaves North, who is standing at the end of the bed looking furious.
It’s nothing new but also, he’s usually cold and cutting when he’s angry. This is scarier than that, this is the white-hot seething sort of rage that I’ve come to expect from his younger brother, not the cool, calm, and collected councilman.
“She’s been like this… since she came into her power again. Months, you’ve been lying to us about her and what she needs.”
Gabe winces but Atlas just leans forward in his seat to rub a hand over my hair, smoothing it back. “Oli doesn’t trust any of you. Why would she talk to you—”
“This isn’t something trivial, she almost used her gift against a dozen people today!” North cuts him off with a snarl, and my heart jumps into my throat.
I turn away and bury my face into the pillow, but no matter how many deep, gulping breaths I take, it doesn’t stop the panicked swell of power within me.
I hear Atlas stand up and move towards me again, snapping at North, “Like I give a fuck about them.”
There’s footsteps around the bed and then Gryphon walks into my eye line, muttering under his breath, “Spoken like a true Bassinger. I wondered just how alike your aunt you were, guess we all know now.”
I don’t know what that means either, but my bond zeros in on the tiny patch of skin showing at Gryphon’s neck and I feel my eyes shift, my vision becoming clearer and more focused.
I want that.
I need it.
“What the fuck is she doing?” Nox mutters, but it only catches my attention and yes, I want that too. I want more than the crumbs I’ve been living on. I want more, everything, give me all of it.
I move with an unnatural speed to him, vaguely aware of their reaction to me doing so, everyone jumping to their feet around me and Atlas scrambling after me, but all I care about is his scent.
When I land on Nox’s lap, I feel Brutus leave my hair and stand beside us like he’s monitoring me, waiting for the moment he needs to strike, but when I start clawing at Nox’s shirt to shove it up his body, Brutus just pads over to curl up at his feet like I’m not stripping his creator.
Nox freezes and doesn’t exactly let me manhandle him but he doesn’t stop me either. He just stares at me with a startled, horrified look as I duck down to wrap myself around him and press myself into the newly-exposed skin.
The need in my chest settles for a second and then doubles. More. I need more.
“Get. Her. Off. Of. Me,” Nox says through clenched teeth, and his heartbeat under my temple is so loud, it’s as though his heart is trying to pump right out of his chest.
He’s panicking.
He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want this Bond, he really doesn’t want—
“What the fuck is your problem—”
“Shut up and grab her!”
“Fuck, get her off of him before his nightmares come out. Oli, just let him go.”
“Oleander, let him go.”
But I don’t want to, I want more. I want him all over me until he’s seeping into my skin and soaking into the very core of me and there’s no chance of anyone ever getting between us. I need to wear him like a warning, a shield, so they all know. They all need to know.
North’s face appears and blocks everything else out. “They do, everyone knows, Bond. Let him go. I’ll give you what you need.”
He won’t though, he’s covered in clothing and I don’t want want any more shirts and sweaters and pillows, I want—
Skin.
More skin, skin that smells warm and male and mine. He doesn’t tense or fight me as I move over to him, his arms take my weight as I wrap myself up in him and burrow into him. I can’t get as close to him as I want to, but with my face pressed into his neck and my arms banding around him, it’s a close second.
The door opens and closes, but I barely notice because there’s so much skin under my fingertips and when I move to press my nose into his chest and take in another lungful of him, every inch of my body comes alive with the Bond. He’s perfect and he’s mine. He doesn’t stop me, he doesn’t flinch at the madness in my hands as I clutch at him to get him closer to me.
I need more.
North carries me back over to my bed to sit there with me in his lap and my bond likes that. I like him taking care of me and taking me back to where I need to be. I need to be naked, and he needs to get rid of his pants because I need to Bond now, I need—
“You take this any further, you’re as bad as your brother. She has no fucking clue of what’s happening right now. She’s not even in there right now.”
I don’t like that.
My eyes flick over to where Atlas and Gryphon are hovering next to us, watching me as though they’re watching a rabid animal, and I don’t like that either. Nox is gone, but Gabe is sitting in the armchair over by the door watching me like he’s heartbroken, and it doesn’t make any sense to me because this is what I need.
“Knock her out again. Do it properly this time, and let her sleep the frenzy off,” Atlas says, but Gryphon shakes his head.
“I can’t.”
North catches my hands from where they’re slowly heading south, trying to find all of the skin I could possibly need. “You need to. She’s not calming down.”
Gryphon grits his teeth. “I’m not saying I won’t, I’m saying I can’t. It took everything to get her out the first time. I’m tapped out.”
North tenses and I whimper without meaning to. I don’t want him to stop me, I don’t want him to flinch away from me. I can’t have another one hate me—
“I don’t hate you, Oleander. Take a breath. We’re going to lie down, and you’re going to rest. You need to sleep.”
I don’t want to sleep but his hands are firmly coaxing, moving me and stroking over me until he’s under my blankets with me, my head over his heart and listening to the reliable and strong beat of it.
It’s quiet for a minute as they all find their own places to sit and watch over us. My bond isn’t super happy about the fact that North won’t Bond with me but his arms are tight around me. He’s solid and not moving away from me, so it’s enough to settle my bond down.
I don’t feel the moment my bond releases me but the relief in the room is palpable. Gryphon even lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it this entire time. My eyes drift closed to the sound.
“What do you mean you’re tapped out? Did she pull your power? Knocking people out is a low level ability, you’ve been doing it since you were three,” North murmurs low, but the incredulous tone is clear enough.
I can just barely hear Gryphon’s reply. “She didn’t pull it but… she’s stronger than she makes out. Whatever level you’ve guessed she’s at… double it. Triple, maybe. It was easier to get into your head than it was for me to knock her out. That’s a lot of fucking power, North.”
