Rose had fallen asleep beside me, but not before filling my heart and ego to the brim. Her Knight. I liked that she thought of me in that way. I’d happily fight demons and dragons for her. Right now, the only demon around is her father. I’ll hire a man to do some digging for me. Once I know why he’s here, I’ll pay him a visit myself. I won’t let Rose face him again.
I opened her journal back up, picking up where I left off on her first day of freshman year. I enjoyed reading about her innermost thoughts about her life, her friends, and her classes, seeing this whole other side to Rose. It was like I was there with her. She was sharing a big part of herself with me by allowing me to read these journals, and I don’t plan on letting her down.
Dear future me, (Because who says dear diary anymore?)
I hope you’re doing better than me right now. This new school, although amazing academically, lacks in social etiquette. The girls are all bitchy and the boys are all immature. There is one boy who is calm and collected. Derek Nelson. I heard he’s the smartest boy in our grade. I wonder if that’s true? I was going to talk to him today, but I never found the nerve.
Honestly, I raced out of school when the bell rang, trying to get into dad’s rusted and crappy pickup truck. Every kid here comes from money, and being the only one who doesn’t, already has me at a disadvantage. I don’t need them to pick on me for dad’s car. I’m sure you remember our daily evening fight sessions with dad. Have we beat him yet? I hope so, because today was especially brutal. I think he’s stressed about something and it’s making fighting him 10 times worse.
He forgot to do the shopping again, so I had to go out this evening and buy whatever I could carry back home. Dad had drunk too much alcohol to drive an hour after bringing me home from school. Funny how we never run out of liquor, but food is always scarce.
I walked back home with the few groceries I could carry, but I managed to cook and even made enough food for him to eat. Currently, he’s snoring on the couch, beer bottle still in hand. Has he stopped drinking yet? I sincerely hope so. Anyway, I better get started on all the homework my new teachers assigned. I don’t know if you remember, but they told us our public education hadn’t amounted to anything, and they are going to get me caught up to my classmates’ level. Even though I’m there already, probably past it.
With lots of hope for the future,
Past You
First entry and I’m already feeling upset. Her father was a worthless piece of shit. What I hated most was the fact she didn’t find an escape at school, but instead found more misery. It’s a cruel world when both school and your home torment you. I’m surprised Rose survived all of this. I flipped the page eager to read more about my Rose.
Dear Future Me,
Today sucked ass. You remember Derek Nelson (smartest and coolest guy at this school). Well, he talked to us. Honest to goodness, just came up to me and started a conversation. He asked what school I had gone to before here. He was being nice and polite, making it easy for me to answer his questions. I should have known better than to think he was interested in being my friend. He quickly let everyone know what I’d told him.
I am a poor kid, who’s mother isn’t around. I’m the kid who can only afford to be here because of a scholarship. I am a fool for thinking Derek Nelson could ever be interested in me. I should know not to trust a pretty boy. They always seem nice, but in reality they’re chameleons. I’ve noticed popular, pretty boys are able to change their nature depending on who they are around. They can be sweet when they need to be, cruel when they want, smart when they have to be. It’s all a charade and no one notices.
Who are you really, Derek Nelson? Are you a coward behind closed doors? Are you bullied at home, so you have to find a way to be in control here at school? Or are you some kind of sociopath? Either way, Derek, you’ve now made it onto my shit list. It’s not a very long list, but I feel like it’s going to grow in this school.
Please tell me if we have good friends in the future? Tell me we’ve found someone who understands us? Are we dating anyone? God, I wish I could fast forward this part of my life.
Hoping you’re having better luck,
Past you
I frowned as I finished reading her entry. I hated knowing on her second day things had already gone bad. How could anyone not be interested in my Rose? She’s perfect in every way. I’ll be looking up Derek Nelson on social media later. Her shit list will be my shit list too. Asshole. I guess it makes sense why it took her a while to trust me. I flipped the page feeling addicted to know what happens next. I felt like I had picked up a delectable book I can’t put down until it’s finished.
Dear future me,
Kill Derek Nelson. Formulate the perfect murder and then do it. That son of a bitch! I’m not sure if you remember, but how could you honestly forget? Derek spread a rumor in an attempt to get his attention, I followed him home. He told everyone he felt bad for me and invited me inside where he fed me. I was made out to look like some starved teenager who ravished his fridge and was awestruck by his home.
He makes it sound like I live in a shack and not a nice residential home like most. He even went as far as to say I offered him sex for money! I swear I’ll murder him. I would have beat his ass if I knew it wouldn’t get me expelled. I don’t understand why he did it. I have done nothing to him. I’ve done him no wrong for him to be this way. If he’s so bored, he could have told me. I would have had him meet me at the gym where I could have taught him a thing or two. Starting with how to block your face.
I want to break that perfect little nose of his. Do me a favor and look him up in the future. Invite him to the gym, pretend not to know anything and have him ‘teach’ you how to throw a punch. When he asks you to punch, show him how it’s done right in the face! God, I’m so mad. Now I’m getting picked on by all the girls. They told me I need to stay away from Derek. Actually, they told me to stay away from all the boys at school.
I hate this place. Please tell me it at least paid off and we’re at our dream college.
A royally pissed off, Past You
I’m right there with you Rose, feeling real ticked off. I’ve been to schools like this all my life. There was a Derek Nelson or two at every school. The guy who was popular for the things he said he did or happened to him. I’ve been witness to these kinds of rumors before. I never paid them any mind, but I also never stopped them. My stomach twisted with guilt for not being a better person in high school.
I laid the journal against my chest, looking down at my beautiful Rose. She was sleeping so peacefully beside me. You would never guess she had been through so much. The sound of her deep breaths were soothing, helping me calm down. I hope she made at least one friend in that hell. At least one to light up the darkness.
Dear future me,
Life totally fucking sucks! Zaiden Brier threw a wad of cash at me today, asking how much I charge. He did it in the lunch-room in front of everyone. I’d never wanted to die so badly in my life! I wanted to become the chair I was sitting in. Honestly, what I wanted to do was grab the chair and hit him across the face with it.
I was mortified! Everyone either laughed or whispered more rumors about me. I couldn’t do shit, except get up and leave. I told him he couldn’t pay me enough to even touch him. He didn’t like that very much, finding me after school, and trying to pin me down. But he quickly learned you can’t mess with me. He was rubbing his wrist as I walked away from him. I could see he understood any further physical touches would result in one of his limbs being broken.
Dad didn’t drink today, surprisingly, but it’s because he was fighting tonight. He’s getting back into the swing of things, but I know he’s rusty. I’m not exactly a good spar for him. I get the feeling he’ll be in the worst mood possible if he loses tonight. Please God, let him win. Let him win, make some money, be in a good mood, and maybe, actually, buy some food.
A pretty hungry, Past You
My hands were gripping the journal so hard I was sure I left an indent. Scratch Derek Nelson. Zaiden Brier is first on my list. These guys have no idea how badly their past is about to catch up to them. Karma is a real bitch, and if she hasn’t dealt with them already, I most certainly will. I continued reading until around three in the morning when my eyes finally started to stick with sleep. My shit list had grown exponentially with kids who picked on my Rose. She had the worst first semester of freshman year so far.
I’ll make it better, Rose.
Olive’s P.O.V.
A pair of warm lips pressed against my forehead, waking me with a smile. I knew these lips well now my Knight was waking me. I felt his arms wrap around me as he pulled me closer to him. He nuzzled his head into my neck, kissing my chest where his lips could reach. I’ve never woken up so happy before. I smiled widely, forgetting all about my cheek until I felt the sting again.
‘Good morning, my Rose,’ he whispered to me.
‘Good morning, my Knight.’
He kissed my neck this time, trailing down to my collarbone. His hand gripped my hip tightly. I loved the feel of his hand around my waist or on my hips. It always felt so possessive, and for some reason, I really liked that. He ventured lower until he was under the sheets. I giggled, wondering what he was up to.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked him.
‘About to have my breakfast,’ he replied.
I felt his fingers hook into the waistband of my shorts and underwear. My heart accelerated with excitement at his words. I could already feel the slickness between my thighs. His words affected me as much as his touches did. I felt my breathing slow as I took deep, anticipating breaths. His hands slowly slid my underwear and shorts off as his fingers ran over my skin along the way.
His lips trailed kisses on my inner thigh until they met my center. I moaned when his tongue licked me at my core. Lucas licked and sucked at me, using his fingers and tongue in the most skilled of ways. I yelled his name in no time, feeling fully awake from my intense orgasm. Next thing I knew, his massive shaft was entering me before I crashed down, only raising me back up again.
‘Lucas!’ I moaned as he lifted my shirt, sucking at my nipple. He groaned in pleasure, thrusting faster and harder into me. I came quickly again feeling him do the same shortly after. Lucas perched himself up on his elbows, now laying light kisses all around my neck and face. He then pulled back and looked deeply into my eyes.
‘I love waking up to you by my side. Thank you for asking me to stay.’ He smiled down at me. Damn, you silver-tongued Casanova, making my heart swoon.
‘Thank you for staying. This is honestly the best way I’ve been woken up.’ I gave him a half smile, not wanting to hurt my cheek again. This man has made my heart swoon for him this morning. The further I keep falling for him the more frightened I become. I’m scared to lose him now that I’ve let him in.
Please, God, let this work out.
‘Shall we eat for real?’ He asked me with a smirk as he pushed my hair out of my face.
I nodded my head, feeling him slip out of me, missing the feel of him already. It makes me feel incomplete without him inside me now. I am uncertain of how deeply woven Lucas’ feelings are for me currently. I guess they call it taking the plunge, because it feels like you’re free falling the entire time, unsure of when you’ll hit the water. Hopefully, I never do because Lucas is everything I want and more.
I saw my journal on the nightstand, laid open, face down. He had read almost the whole thing last night, making me wonder exactly how much sleep he’d gotten. I wonder if he looks at me differently after reading how pathetic I’d been in high school. Freshman year was soul crushing. I finally got off the bed, cleaned myself off and dressed before joining him downstairs. He furrowed his brow as he looked in my fridge. His tall self had to lean down to see what was on the top shelf of my older styled fridge. His arm hung over the door as he contemplated what to eat, or make. He stood up straight, looking at me with a smirk.
‘Rose, I think you need to go grocery shopping,’ he mused, making me blush. I placed my hand on the side of my neck bashfully.
‘Yeah, I haven’t had the chance. Want to go on campus with me? I have class soon, but this way we can still eat together.’ I suggested with a shrug.
‘Sounds perfect.’ He closed my fridge door, holding his hand out towards me. I took it, allowing him to lead me out.
‘Wait, I forgot something!’ He said before I locked the door. I let him back in, seeing him grab the journal he had been reading along with the box. He smiled widely at me as he walked back out of the flat.
‘I can’t leave these behind. I have a lot of reading to do.’
His excitement made me laugh. I couldn’t believe he was actually looking forward to reading my journals. I, myself, found them cringey, painful, or outright boring. Lucas refused to take different cars, swearing he would wait for me on campus.
‘I don’t want you to have to wait for me,’ I argued.
‘I don’t mind, besides it’ll give me a chance to see some old professors. I need to see my advisor and give him a big thanks, anyway.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Extremely. I can do some work while I wait if I have to.’ He shrugged his shoulders like this was no big deal.
‘Okay then.’ I nodded, allowing him to open his passenger door for me to climb in.
He drove us towards campus, allowing me to pick the music again. I decided to change it up a bit and played Playinwitme by KYLE. Lucas didn’t seem to mind, or if he did, he didn’t voice his complaint. The drive was quick, allowing us a little more time to eat together. Lucas held my hand as we headed to the coffee shop.
‘So you’re not just a rock girl then,’ he observed.
‘I’m a girl of many things.’ I winked at him, causing him to let out a light laugh of amusement. ‘I was feeling happy this morning, so I wanted more upbeat things.’
‘I didn’t mind it. I liked it. Maybe next time I’ll have you play one of my playlists. Let you get to know my music style.’ He wiggled his eyebrows quickly, making me giggle.
‘Think I’ll like it?’
‘No doubt about it.’ He nodded.
We took our place in line, waiting our turn. We were so lost in each other we hadn’t looked around us in a while. I think I heard her before he did. Her nasally voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I saw her from the corner of my eye as Lucas stiffened beside me.
‘Francesca.’ The barista called her name to grab her drink.
I squeezed Lucas’ hand, trying to remind him I was right here with him. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be faced with your rapist out in the open like this. To know nothing happened to them, that they faced zero consequences for what they did. She grabbed her drink, turning and spotting me. She smirked for a moment, heading my way, until she saw my interlocked hand. That’s when she noticed Lucas.
I took my attention off her, looking up at Lucas too. There was such anger in his eyes. His face was still, but his teeth were clenched and he was gripping my hand so tightly it hurt, but I didn’t complain. Francesca froze in her tracks, which surprised me. Maybe she feels some remorse for what she did.
I thought too highly of her for a second, because after a moment her smile widened further. She continued to stalk towards us as if happy to see us. I stepped in front of Lucas as if my body could shield him from this moment. I stared daggers at her, making her unsure about what she was doing for a moment.
‘Ollie, weren’t you dating Leo a few days ago? You sure move quick,’ she commented, trying to offend me or maybe get a rise out of me.
‘If I wanted your commentary, I’d ask for it. Goodbye now, Franny.’ I waved at her, closing and opening my hand at her.
She didn’t move, standing there looking right at Lucas.
‘Well, enjoy my sloppy seconds.’ She laughed, taking a sip of her frappuccino.
Her comment made me snap, causing me to take a step forward with my hand fisted. I had it pulled back, ready to throw hands at this bitch, but Lucas wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me back into his chest. He leaned down, kissing my neck and whispering in my ear.
‘She’s not worth it, Rose. Let’s just have our time together.’
His words deflated me instantly. I nodded my head, stepping forward in line, ignoring Franny completely. She scoffed but disappeared when she realized we would pay her no mind. I was such an idiot bringing Lucas on campus. I had forgotten all about Franny attending this university as well. I’ve only run into her the one time with Leo. I didn’t think I’d run into her again.
‘I am so sorry, Lucas.’ I whispered to him from across the table. He was so stiff, rigid even, since we ran into her.
‘It’s not your fault, Rose. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Let’s get you fed and to class on time. Wanna walk and eat?’ He asked me as time was getting the better of us.
I nodded my head, unsure of what to do to make him feel better. This morning has made me realize how little I know of Lucas. What does he do when he needs to relieve pressure? What helps calm him? Can I do anything to help him right now?
We walked in silence as I ate my muffin. Then it dawned on me. It’s stupid and small and probably won’t work, but I took a big bite, being intentional to leave a million crumbs on my mouth. I turned and smiled at Lucas with a crumb coated mouth. He looked at me a moment before bursting into a chuckle.
‘You look ridiculous.’ He shook his head, wiping the crumbs from around my lips. He bent down and kissed me lovingly. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered.
‘Go get some work done at home. Don’t stay on campus. I’ll text you when class is over,’ I said to him. He shook his head no at me, holding my cheeks in his palms.
‘You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get done. Go learn something new, Rose, and don’t worry about me.’ He kissed my forehead this time.
‘How can I not worry about the man I’m falling in love with?’ I spoke the words before I could stop myself. We both froze at my admission. My eyes were wide as they met him. I couldn’t believe my mouth betrayed me. ‘I–’ There was nothing I could say to take it back now. After a few seconds, Lucas smiled the widest I’d ever seen. It made my heart skip a beat at its absolute beauty. The smile went so far as to light those intense brown eyes with a gleam of happiness.
‘Falling in love, huh?’ He teased me with his brows raised. He licked at his lips when he finished speaking.
‘Stop, you didn’t hear that. I’m going to class now.’ I went to run away embarrassed, but he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back towards him. He pressed me flush against his chest, uncaring of the stares we were getting by everyone who passed us by.
‘I’m falling in love with you too, Olive.’
With his admission his lips met mine again in an earth shattering kiss. It was so full of love I could feel it seeping through my pores, running through my body. When he pulled away, my cheeks flushed a shade of scarlet.
‘I’ll see you after class, Rose.’ He turned me, nudging my frozen self towards the STEM building.
I ran up the stairs, needing the physical exercise so I could use it as an excuse for the pink on my cheeks. I made it to class just as the professor was starting, earning me a brow raise. It was hard to stay focused as thoughts of Lucas plagued my mind.
I wonder what he’s up to now?
