Lucas: You on campus?
Leo: Yeah, early class today.
Lucas: So you’re in class right now?
Leo: Yeah, everything okay? Do I need to leave early?
Lucas: No, everything is good. Just wanted to see what you were up to.
I was hoping to have someone to hang out with. I also wanted to talk to him about the devil incarnate. He needs to know she’s here. I should have checked in on her more. How did I not know she attended this university? Perhaps I can convince them to kick her out if I give the school a couple million dollars. I would pay a billion if I needed to. That bitch doesn’t deserve to go to the same school as Leo.
I hadn’t seen her since the night of the incident. Her face had my mind racing back to the memory of that room, of her on me. It was a memory I try to block out a lot, but it plagues me often. There is no getting rid of it. It’s a scar in my brain, something that will never fully heal. All I can do is try to avoid her for now until I can get her out of this university.
Rose did her best, trying to keep her from me. I couldn’t afford for her to be on academic probation for getting in a fight on campus. Even if I wanted nothing more than to see that bitch get punched right on her nasty nose job. I did enjoy the way she tried to cheer me up by being a goof. Those crumbs around her mouth as she smiled made her look so damn cute.
‘How can I not worry about the man I’m falling in love with?’
Her voice echoed in my head, reminding me I’m the luckiest man alive. She’s falling in love with me, and there was no better news for me to hear. Besides the news of her tumor not being cancerous. I hope they call her with results soon, because the suspense is killing me.
With Leo unable to come hang out, and my want to see anyone diminish, I decided to head to my car and finish her first journal. I was only to mid-September now, but I was almost done with the journal. Last night had me adding a few too many names to my shit list. I found her journal and quickly picked up from where I left off.
Dear future me,.
Today is the day we met Ian. He is new, transferring from a public school like me. We instantly hit it off, being the outcast poor kids. He is funny, and extremely kind. Plus let’s not forget he’s fucking hot as hell. Hottie with a body.
He asked for my number but I don’t have a cell phone so I gave him my house number, since it’s working this month. I am waiting for him to call now. I am trying to not lose my mind as I wait for him. I am happy to finally have someone to talk to. This has been a long month of school with nothing but teasing and rude comments spewed my way.
Can you please beat everyone’s asses now? I’m sure you’re an amazing fighter by now. Maybe you can go around punching everyone in the nose or throat for me. Revenge is always great!
In all seriousness, try to show them how amazing we are now. Currently, they can all suck my left tit with their annoying selfs.
Feeling a little hopeful with Ian around now. Maybe things will get better now.
A hopeful, Past You
Although I’m jealous of Ian, I’m happy to read that she made a friend. She needed it. I couldn’t imagine being ridiculed every day and not having a friend to support you or turn to. I flipped the page, needing to see if Ian ever called her.
Dear future me,
Add Ian to our love forever list. That son of a bitch talked to me all night and kept me up so late. He was paired with Derek in lab today and I could see them hitting it off. There was a moment of small tension where Ian looked at me a bit funny and I knew Derek was telling him about the rumor he started.
Ian got up so fast, sending his stool tumbling behind him. I remember Ms. White asked what he thought he was doing and Ians response filled me with such happiness. He told her he was getting away from the plague before it contaminated him too. He told her he’d rather work with me, which she thankfully let him.
I had my first lab partner, and we worked so well together. We goofed, but we got our work done easily. Derek glared at Ian throughout class, and I worried about him getting himself into trouble, but Ian is a pretty strong guy. He’s tall with broad shoulders and large muscles for a guy his age. His piercing blue eyes are easy to get lost in.
Anyway, today was definitely a good day. I sincerely hope it stays that way.
A very happy, Past You
Okay, gold star for Ian for not falling for the rumor. Rose definitely had a little crush on him and it was kind of cute to read about it. I smiled as I continued reading about how great Ian was the rest of September. I finished the journal, grabbing the next. I checked the clock, still having about 20 minutes until she was done. I opened the journal and dove right in again.
Dear Future Me,
Ian and I went to the new arcade together today. It was an absolute blast. We’ve decided to meet there every Friday and play games. Whoever lost the most games had to pay for drinks and food. Thankfully, I had some extra money on me, because I lost fast.
Do we play more games as an adult? Does Ian have us play games with him still? I hope we’re still friends with him. He’s a great guy, and it’d be a shame if we lost touch with him.
Tomorrow Ian and I are going to the school bonfire. We’re hoping everyone will leave us alone since they’ll be entertained with football. We are bringing marshmallows and sticks to roast them with. Roasted marshmallows are the best!
Dad has been busy with fighting, which is great because he’s been winning. It’s inflated his ego enough to keep him from drinking as much. He also bought groceries for once. We currently have a fully stocked fridge.
I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. We both know life never stays this good.
Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
A happy, Past You
Is this how she still feels? Does she think she can never be happy for long? I’ll prove her wrong. I will make her the happiest woman alive. I’ll give everything she asks for plus everything she needs. Starting with finding her dad.
‘Hello?’ Connor answered.
‘Hey man, I need a favor.’
‘Yeah, what’s up?’ Connor is an old classmate turned PI. He knows how to find anyone and dig up the best dirt. I’ve kept his number through the years.
‘I need you to find a Nick Brewer and tell me everything you can dig up on him. He’s currently in town but lives in New Hampshire. He has one daughter, Olive Brewer and an ex wife Abigail Rose, recently deceased. He’s a retired MMA fighter now, not sure what he does for employment now. I need to know what reason he’d have for coming here to talk with his daughter. Think you can do it?’ I asked him seriously.
‘You know I can. How quickly do you need this done?’
‘The sooner the better. Yesterday would have been great,’ I joked.
‘I’m on it. I’ll send you the bill after.’ He hung up after, not waiting for me to utter a word. I know he’ll do it and he’ll do it quickly and accurately. Let’s see what you’re actually in town for, Nick. I headed out of the car back towards her building, knowing she’d be out of class soon. I should have asked what class she was in so I could have waited for her outside her door. It’s too late now.
I hung around the entrance of the building, waiting for her to emerge. My hands were deep in my pockets and I was lightly kicking around a small rock between my feet. I miss playing soccer. I need to find a community team to join again. I haven’t played since Ivy died. She was always at my games, cheering me on from the sidelines.
‘I hope you weren’t too awfully bored waiting on me.’ Her voice made me look away from the small rock.
‘Your journals kept me entertained.’ I winked at her. ‘Can’t wait to see what happened to Ian.’ She flushed pink with embarrassment. I loved seeing her cheeks turn that beautiful shade of crimson. She looked almost mortified.
‘Oh God, you’re already there?’ She cringed.
‘Sure am.’ I nodded with a playful smirk.
‘I’m wondering if maybe I should have started you in college. My high school journals are so embarrassing, depressing, and cringy.’
‘No way! And miss this fun?’ I shook my head at her. ‘I’m glad I get to read about high school you. She’s quite comical.’ Rose groaned in embarrassment.
‘I’m glad you think so, because many others didn’t.’ She took my hand as she began to walk. I smiled, happy she initiated our hand holding this time.
‘So where to now, Rose? Have another class?’
‘Not until later. We have a couple of hours to kill, and I want to use them to get to know you,’ she said, guiding me through the familiar campus. I was surprised by her words.
‘Oh? Is it because you’re falling in love with me you want to get to know me better?’ I teased her, grabbing her in my arms and pulling her back.
‘Asshole. I shouldn’t have said anything.’ She shook her head as she smacked at my arm. It was cute, making me chuckle.
‘We both know you didn’t mean to say it, but I’m sure as fuck glad you did.’ I kissed her temple, making her still against me. ‘Tell me what you want to know and I’ll share.’
‘Give me your life story, the same way I gave you mine. We’ll start there.’
I sighed, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders right now. She wanted my life story, but like hers, it was a sad one. It seems only fair, and the fact she wants to know everything about me, makes me jump for joy. She’s starting to want me more and more with each passing day, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
‘Okay, Rose. Let’s go to the car. I’ll spill my dirty little secrets to you.’ I winked at her. We headed towards my car hand in hand. I opened her door as usual, allowing her to sit in the passenger seat. I took my place behind the wheel. I turned to face her, taking a deep breath before beginning my sad tale.
‘I was born here in New York. My mother met my father in college and fell madly in love. They had Lisa the year after graduation and me two years after. Growing up we never needed anything monetary. Dad’s business had taken off and he’d become a millionaire in no time, reaching a billion around the time I turned 7. The better his business did the worse his mood got. You’d think it’d be the other way, but not with dad. The more success he had, the more work he made for himself. We all walked around eggshells at home, trying not to trigger him in any way. There was no laughter in our home, just rigid smiles. Until I met John and Leo, anyway.’ I smiled sadly at the reminder of John in his casket.
‘Dad and Mr. Darius became close business acquaintances, allowing John and Leo to come over often. Their home became my second house. I found myself going over as often as I could to get away from Dad. I didn’t know at the time he was hurting my mom. She didn’t show it, and neither did he. He kept it hidden behind closed doors, even from Lisa and I. Lisa would go with me to John and Leo’s often as well. Even though she was the only girl there and two years older. Anything beats being home with Dad. Around the time I turned 12 Dad’s fists found me any time I didn’t meet his expectations.’ I couldn’t look Rose in the eyes as I told my story, keeping them fixed on the sky outside my windshield.
‘He hurt Lisa one night when she missed curfew by 1 minute. I yelled at him, knowing I’d get it twice as bad, but it would make him leave her alone. It was the only time I ever let him hit her. Any time she’d do something wrong in his eyes, I’d be sure to do something worse to keep his anger fixed on me. Sadly, I couldn’t keep mom safe. I’d hear him rape her often, leaving her in tears and bruises, which I’d end up tending to. Dad began to train me to take over his business when I reached high school. He had me on a set path, and there was no getting off it. I didn’t mind as much because John and Leo were on the same path, which meant we had a lot of classes together. They were the two who made life barrable.’ I remembered the stupid shit we’d get into when we were out together. God, I miss John.
‘John and I got onto the soccer team at school, making me have games and practices kept me out of the house. I made sure Lisa would come with me to every practice and every game so she wasn’t left alone at home. I enjoyed soccer, still do actually. I played all through highschool and into college. My freshman year of college, I decided I would not take over my father’s business. He could go screw himself. Work until he dies. He was furious and beat the ever living shit out of me when I told him. He didn’t say anything again, but only because he was scheming behind closed doors. I found a contract on his desk a month later. I felt like I was reading some kind of contract which sold Lisa off to some businessman’s son. Dad was trying to marry Lisa off, and get himself someone else to take over the business.’ I shook my head in disgust about the contract, about all of it.
‘He can’t do that!’ Rose interjected, causing me to look at her for the first time. She had tears in her eyes, crying for me and my past. I leaned over and wiped away at it. The swelling on her cheek had gone down, and she’d hidden the bruise beneath makeup.
‘You’ll find when you have billions of dollars, there’s a lot you can do you shouldn’t be able to. I promised him I’d take over the business if he left Lisa out of it. We made an agreement and he even made a contract for me to sign. Words of mouth are not good enough for this man. I’m stuck with his business whether I want it or not. I started dating Ivy around this time. She was like this large light in my life, keeping me from drowning in darkness. She took up every moment of my life in college, supporting me and lifting me up when I was down. She was studying business too, and she swore we would run my dad’s business together so all that work wouldn’t fall on my shoulders.’ Tears stung the back of my eyes as I pictured her bright smile, the one that always wrinkled her eyes on the side. I loved her so much.
‘She came to all my soccer games. She helped my mom get away from my dad. Her heart was so pure and her spirit was unbreakable. She stood up to my dad countless times, not worried for one second if he would hurt her. He never did. I guess his fists were only reserved for his family. When mom left him, he spiraled. He began to get easily angered. Thankfully, neither Lisa nor I lived with him anymore. Still, he’ll call from time to time and make us do something for him. Usually attend some kind of business dinner or meeting. That’s about as much interaction as we will have with him. Lisa is frightened by him to the point she follows every one of his commands. I can’t shake her out of it either.’ This last business dinner dad tried to pawn her off on the businessman’s son, almost allowing him to date her. I, in not so many words, reminded him of our deal. He liked to remind me of the control he held over Lisa often, as if to make the point that I am controlled by him, too.’
‘I was planning to propose to Ivy when she died in that car accident. The truck driver was tired and on a strict timeline. He had fallen asleep behind the wheel of his semi and killed John and Ivy upon impact. Mr. Darius was the only to survive the crash physically, but he was brain dead the moment he arrived at the hospital. The news hit Leo and I hard and we wallowed for months on the ground, quite literally. I am not sure how I managed to graduate. I stopped playing soccer, stopped seeing my friends, and pushed everyone away, even Leo. Lisa had brought us back together, and that’s when all the shit with Francesca started. Then came the party, and after came the countless one-night stands. The business I started made its first million in its first year, too. It’s been a blur of alcohol, work, and different women, until I met you.’ I turned to face her again, holding her gaze for this next part. The part where she saved me.
‘You pulled me out of my stupor. Everything about you enticed me, not just your beauty. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted you. The more I wanted to better myself for you. Rose, you make me want to be a better man, and I haven’t felt this way in a while. You’ve saved me from myself. So here we are sitting in my car with me pouring my life story out to you, because I fucking love you already, even though it has barely been a month since I met you. I’ve fallen hard and fast for you, and I hope you know I don’t plan on letting you go ever again.’
Rose stared at me with wide eyes, tears still streaming down her face. In seconds her arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me towards her. She held me close before she brought her lips to mine with such intensity you’d think we’d both burst into flames. I felt all her passionate and unbridled love for me at that moment.
‘Be mine, Rose. By girlfriend and no one else’s.’
‘Thought you’d never ask.’ She smiled, kissing me again. ‘I’ll be yours for as long as you want me. Only yours.’ She nodded. I rested my forehead against her own, closing my eyes and focusing on this moment before us.
She’s everything I need in this world.
