I spent the rest of my time in Ian’s house with the thought gnawing away at me. Is there a baby growing in me right now? Am I going to have a baby the same age as my soon to be brother? What should I do?
I had such a strong urge to run out of Ian’s house, buy a test, and pee over the damn stick. I wanted to know right now, right this very second. Instead, I helped Caterina with dinner. I helped set the table up with Ian, and sat to eat with them, making small talk with Donald. It was a very pleasant evening. One I would have enjoyed a lot more if I wasn’t worried about carrying another life in me. I found myself looking at my flat stomach with great curiosity.
‘What’s up with you?’ Ian asked me as we were clearing the table.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You seemed distracted all throughout dinner.’ I currently hate how he can still pick up on my emotions so easily.
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ I shrugged my shoulders, meandering towards the kitchen.
‘Come on, Red, talk to me. Number one best friend, remember?’ He followed me into the kitchen with his own stack of dishes. I bit my lip as I contemplated telling him. It didn’t feel right. This was something I wanted to share with Lucas before anyone else. Although, I guess I should see if there is anything to share before I send him a message.
‘Thinking about my dad and his pregnant girlfriend. I’m going to have a baby brother.’ I gave him something plausible and true, even though it wasn’t what was currently making me feel this way.
‘I’m sorry, Red. I can’t believe he’s managed to convince someone to be with him again. I am sure it’s a lot to think about. Don’t worry, your little brother will have someone looking out for him…you. You didn’t get that growing up, but he will. You’re already making his life better.’ Ian’s words hit me like a strong punch.
He’s right. I didn’t have anyone looking out for me once mom left. Ian took that role when we met, plus Joe apparently was, too, but I had no idea. I’m going to make sure my little brother never goes through the same darkness I did. I’ll make sure dad doesn’t hurt him the same way he hurt me. He’s going to have someone by his side, even if dad doesn’t tell him who I am.
‘Thank you, Ian,’ I whispered through the thick emotion in my throat.
‘Any time, Red.’ He patted my head like I was a dog, so I playfully punched him in the side. He rubbed it, making an ‘ow’ face, but he was smiling.
I left Ian’s house shortly after, racing to my car and the nearest store with a pregnancy test. I checked for Dad’s pickup truck before I got out. There’s no way I’m going to let him see what I’m buying right now. I raced inside, finding the aisle I needed and grabbing about three different early detection tests. My eyes caught sight of the self checkout counter, feeling the happiest I have ever been checking myself out. I double bagged it so it was hard to tell what I had bought.
I clutched onto the bag for dear life as I made my way to the car. My stomach was swirling with worry, making me nauseous again. I’ve been on birth control for a year now, and I’m always very diligent about taking it. The day after Lucas’ accident, when I had stayed in the hospital, was the only time I had missed taking it. We didn’t have sex for a week after, so I assumed I was fine. I’m an idiot.
I threw the bag in the passenger seat, of course, having its contents spill out. The box taunted me from the seat as if it were making fun of me for being so reckless. I grabbed it, shoving it back into the bag forcefully. It didn’t take long to reach the Inn. Portsmouth isn’t exactly the largest town.
I raced inside and straight into the bathroom, peeling open one of the boxes and taking the long stick out. I quickly scanned the directions, making sure there wasn’t a certain way I needed to pee on this damn thing. My heart was racing, and all I wanted to do was pace back and forth. I peed, flipping the test upside down after, so I wouldn’t be watching it for the three minutes I needed to wait. I decided to call Lucas, but this time I figured I should video call him. He can get the news with me.
I set the phone against the backsplash on the counter before calling. I was chewing the side of my thumbnail, pacing, when Lucas answered. His hair was wet, and his body was glistening with droplets of water. He had come out of the shower with a towel hugging his hips. My Adonis.
‘Rose, what’s wrong?’ He furrowed his brow as he saw me.
I stopped pacing, turning to face him. I could see myself in the little box on the screen, looking like a mess with a crazed look in my eyes. It was obvious I was stressed the fuck out. I leaned towards the phone, whispering my answer as if the walls had ears and could tell everyone my secret.
‘I’m late.’
‘You’re late?’ He furrowed his brow so hard it met in the middle. I could tell it wasn’t clicking.
‘Yes, my period is late,’ I explained, biting my lip after.
‘Oh…OH….OHHH!’ With each oh his voice got higher as if each oh was making him realize more and more. ‘Are you..?’
‘I figured we could find out together.’ I picked up the phone, turning the camera so it was facing the test.
‘Holy shit! Okay, I’m ready when you are,’ he assured me.
I could see the same wild look in his eyes, only there was more. He looked like he could almost be excited, and it made my heart race more. I picked up the test with shaky hands and a pounding heart, surprised Lucas couldn’t hear it through the phone. I slowly turned it, reading positive on the front. We stayed silent, frozen in shock.
I’m pregnant.
‘I’m coming to Portsmouth right now. I’ll be there soon,’ Lucas said very seriously. ‘Don’t panic. I love you, Rose.’ He hung up right after, without me saying a word. I was still stunned silent, looking at the test like it was mocking me. I opened the other two boxes and peed on those sticks, too. They were all a choir of positives.
I placed my hand over my flat stomach, immediately thinking of Daisy and how she would rub her bump to remind herself my brother was there. I can see why she would do it. My body doesn’t feel any different, aside from what I’m realizing is not a stomach bug. Is it morning sickness?
I finally willed myself to leave the bathroom and the sight of the three positive tests. I laid back on the bed with my legs dangling off the side, staring at the pure white ceiling and wondering what exactly I would do. It’ll be due around July, probably, so at least I will have graduated. It’ll be hard to find someone willing to hire me when they see a pregnant belly. My field isn’t exactly a woman led one. I have to prove myself and it’s hard to do so as a mom.
I feel like I read somewhere employers like to hire women who are single, and have no kids, over a married mom. Moms miss work for their kids or their husbands more. They aren’t one person anymore. Can I still do what I love to do, what I set out to do? I must have fallen asleep at some point amongst my contemplating, because I woke up to my phone vibrating in my hand.
**Song Suggestion as you read: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle**
Forcing my eyes to focus, I saw Lucas’ contact flash across my screen. I sleepily answered, pressing the cold glass of the phone against my face.
‘Hello?’
‘I’m here, Rose. What room are you in?’ he asked quickly. I sat up so fast my head spun for a moment.
‘Room two,’ I finally answered.
I heard the phone go silent, seeing Lucas had hung up. I walked to my room door, opening it to see him making his way towards me. My eyes instantly watered at the sight of him. I missed him so much, despite it having only been a couple of days. I couldn’t help myself. My legs ran towards him, and my arms crazily wrapped themselves around his neck. I held him tight as his arms hugged around my waist and pulled me close. He picked me up, allowing my legs to hook around his waist as he walked us towards my room. He closed the door behind him, laying me gently on the bed. Those intense brown eyes looked down at me lovingly as his hand pushed my hair out of my face softly. I’ve missed him.
His lips met mine, sending hot lava coursing through my body at his touch. I held the back of his neck, pressing on him so our kiss was more powerful. There was no stopping this, despite the news we had gotten. We both missed each other too much to let go now. Our hunger for one another was so intense, like an eternal flame. There was no extinguishing this fire.
‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he whispered.
‘I’ve missed you, too.’
His lips met mine again, making our deep breaths the only noises heard. I let my hand slide under his shirt, feeling every dip of those perfect abs. I lifted his shirt over his head, never breaking eye contact. My heart felt complete with him in my arms again. I felt so overwhelmed with happiness, longing, and desire. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.
I wanted to feel every inch of his skin pressed against my own, to feel him deep inside me. I longed for us to become one again. His hands gripped my sides under my shirt, pulling me to him as our kiss deepened, allowing his tongue to reacquaint itself with my own. I moaned against him, wanting more, wanting all of him. When our lips broke apart, I could see the same longing, the same hunger, reflected in his eyes as in my own.
We didn’t shed clothes as quickly, instead doing it slowly and sensually. Our fingers grazed over each other’s skin. Every touch was intentionally soft and sweet. Lucas held me in his arms as he aligned himself with my entrance. My breasts were pressed against his bare chest as my hands pushed down on his back, squeezing him closer to me. He slowly entered me, letting me feel every inch of him. He held my gaze before he began to thrust into me.
I have never felt so much love before. There was such love in his eyes. I couldn’t look away. There was love in every touch and caress. The way he thrusted in me was filled with gentle love and care. This wasn’t fucking, this was loving, and it was perfect. It was exactly what we needed after being away.
‘I love you, Lucas,’ I whispered into his ear, holding him tightly.
‘I love you, Olive.’
We kept at it until I reached my orgasm with him spurting deep inside me at the same time. We were so in sync, reaching our peaks at almost the same time. He didn’t let me go as we finished, either. Instead, he kept caressing my face, staring deep into my eyes. It was silent, but no words needed to be said. It was absolutely perfect. He is absolutely perfect. We stayed wrapped in one another for hours, only staring and caressing each other. Lucas, sadly, wasn’t inside me anymore, but we were pressed so tightly against each other, it made it okay. I leaned forward, kissing his lips again. He let his thumb rub my jawline as he held my face.
‘You’re absolutely perfect, Rose. I am sorry I wasn’t careful with you. Tell me what you want to do and we’ll do it.’ He broke the silence first with heavy words.
‘I don’t know what I want to do. We’re still so young, and our relationship is still so new. Are we okay with it being more than just us before us even had a chance to start?’ I asked him, worried about our relationship as well as my future career. Being a mom has its difficulties, the same way my career would.
‘I’m okay with having a piece of each of us live in front of us. I am more than happy to raise a kid with you, to be forever tied to you. My heart would be overjoyed to see the life we created grow. We would make them the happiest child alive. We are more than capable, and I’ll stay home while you start your career. I know you’ll be a great aerospace engineer, and our child won’t hold you back. I’ll make sure of it.’
My eyes watered as his words hit home. He was telling me everything I didn’t even know I wanted to hear. I had no idea I wanted a child with Lucas, not until now. Now I can’t even imagine not having it. I began to picture what our child would look like. My mind imagined a little boy, with strawberry blonde hair and deep brown eyes, or a girl with blonde hair and icy blue eyes. I couldn’t stop imagining once I started. It was like I was sucked into a happy black hole where things actually went right for me.
‘I guess we’re having a baby,’ I finally said with a smile.
‘Are you sure, Rose? I don’t want you to feel pressured.’
‘I’m so sure. You’ll be a great father, Lucas, I can already tell. A child with you will be perfect…more than perfect, in fact. You’re my light and our child will be another,’ I assured him, kissing him again. He smiled so widely at me.
‘You’ve given me the best gift in the world, Rose.’ He kissed me again, giving me the most joy I’ve felt in a while. I can’t stop thinking about our growing child in me right now. I’m pregnant.
‘I don’t know about that.’ I shied away.
‘Are you kidding me? It’s the most precious gift you could give me. A life between you and I.’ He kissed me again, pushing away the hair from my face. His words were making me feel better with each statement. Lucas kissed my cheeks, then my neck, traveling down until he kissed my lower abdomen. He did it multiple times, staring happily. I loved seeing him look so happy and in love with our child already.
‘Thank you, Lucas.’ I was so grateful he dropped everything and came here. I couldn’t believe he did. No one has ever put me first like this before.
‘Don’t thank me, Rose. I don’t need it. I’ll forever be thanking you for this gift.’ He kissed my stomach again. I felt myself start to cry. I was overwhelmed, and it poured out of my eyes like a river.
‘Shh, I’m here now, Rose. I got you…I got you both.’
I cried like a small child. I was nervous about the future, but I was so happy to have him. Love engulfed my heart entirely as I started to let myself feel for this unborn child I am growing. I will never call it a mistake..never.
Unplanned? Yes. A mistake? Never!
Lucas’ P.O.V.
**Song Suggestion: “The Story” by Davis Naish**
I have my Rose in my arms again. Her sweet scent chased away any and all sadness which had crept inside me in her absence. She was warm, perfect, and somehow mine. She had calmed herself after a while. I hated to hear her cry, but something tells me it wasn’t because she was sad. We’re having a baby.
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten such elating news before today. Yes, it’s extremely early… extremely. Who wouldn’t be worried in this position? It’s insane, yet I’m so excited. Picturing a child with Rose is something I can’t stop doing now. I bet if it’s a girl she’ll have a sweet round face like Rose with those piercing blue eyes and fiery red hair. She’ll have my nose and my lips, and maybe even my height.
I can picture a little boy with my blonde hair, but with her curls and thickness. Of course, I keep hoping they’ll have her eyes, maybe shaped like mine, but colored like hers. Whatever they come out looking like, I know they’ll be perfect. I’ll wait patiently to see them and fall even more in love with them. I hate to admit it, because it’s so soon, but I am so extremely excited. This won’t ruin Rose’s career either. I won’t let it.
I’ll be the one to stay home and care for our child. It sounds perfect to me. I would be so lucky as to be the one to put our child to sleep, to teach them about the world. I’ll take care of them both, my Rose and my bud. This moment was perfect. The sex we had when I first arrived was like nothing I’d experienced in my past. The closest, I guess, would have been with Ivy, but this was different…it was more, so much more.
We’re tied forever now by the child she grows inside of her. I want to link us in a more official way, too, and I’ll ask her before the baby is born. I’ll make her my wife, and not just my child’s mother. She’s my everything, and I’ll give her all of me: mind, body, and soul.
‘How are you feeling, Rose?’ I asked her once she stopped crying.
‘Overwhelmed, exhausted, in love, excited. I’m feeling too much,’ she admitted.
‘Go to sleep Rose. I’m not going anywhere. We can drive back together tomorrow morning if you want. Although, I’d like to see the town you grew up in,’ I confessed, happy to be with her a day earlier than expected. Now to break the news to Lisa and Mom.
I had told them an emergency came up, and I had to go, but I didn’t get real specific with the details, and since we were leaving tomorrow anyway, they didn’t question it too much. I’m not sure how I plan to announce it to them. Maybe we’ll wait a bit. I don’t feel like being deflated from everyone’s negative comments so soon after feeling so happy about the news. I know they’ll say it’s too soon, and a kid is a big responsibility. I know these things, but this is where we are, and we are going to make the best of it. I’m going to raise my child with Rose, and no one can tell me differently.
‘Okay, I’ll take you around town. I’ll introduce you to Ian and Joe, and show you all my old hangout spots,’ she murmured sleepily.
‘Thank you, Rose.’ I kissed the top of her head, caressing her arm until I felt her deep breaths.
