During the flight, Rosa holds me in her arms in my tattered dress and ruined makeup while I spill everything to her. About the past. Tonight.
Running into Niall’s mom.
The news of his coma.
Dash’s betrayal.
She cries along with me while murmuring apologies and assurances that everything will be all right. I tell her it isn’t her fault but guilt is a heavy emotion. Once it latches itself on to you, it’s hard to let go. Except, she has nothing to be sorry for. Because unlike Dash, her intentions were good and pure.
“I should have never let you marry him, Bee,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want to think about him.”
“Okay.”
Before the plane lands, I change into the clothes Rosa packed for me and I feel marginally better after throwing the dress Dash bought me into the garbage. It’s petty but I don’t care. The ride to Rosa’s apartment is quiet and when we arrive, a haggard and worried Iris meets us in the lobby.
As soon as she sees us, she runs and wraps me in her warm embrace. The tears fall, as if I’ll never run out of them. Getting my heart broken by Dash is worse than any pain I could’ve ever imagined.
“Everything will be okay, Bee. I promise,” Iris soothingly murmurs. “Come on, let’s get you upstairs.”
The elevator opens directly into the hallway of Rosa’s penthouse and they take me straight to the bedroom.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay, love,” Iris says. “We’ll be right here.”
“We love you, Bee.”
Under the spray of the shower in the bathroom, I let the cold water beat down on me until my skin is as cold as the iciness in my heart. But no matter how hard I scrub, I can’t wash away the memories wreaking havoc on me. I don’t even remember sliding down to the floor until my best friends find and somehow help me into clothes and lay me down on the bed.
I curl into a ball while they both lie on either side of me and hug me tight until I fall asleep.
***
The next morning is much worse. A hellish nightmare.
After waking and freshening up, I enter the kitchen and find Iris and Rosa sitting on the island, quietly arguing. They stop when they notice me and one look at them, I know something is terribly wrong.
“What happened?” I ask, trepidation in my voice.
“Bee. I don’t think it’s a good idea,” says Ro, like talking to a caged animal.
“Just tell me.”
They share a look before Iris takes a deep breath and sadly utters, “There’s a video of you calling your marriage a sham and arguing with Dash all over the news. Everybody believes it because Dash never denied it. The same person who saw you at the restaurant is now claiming he heard you two discussing it.”
“Let me see it.”
Rosa stands up abruptly. “No. You’re not. It’s not worth it, Bee.”
“I want to see it.” I cross the distance and hold my hand out, waiting.
They try to give a united front but when I don’t budge, Iris gives Rosa’s tablet with a sigh. A voice inside my head screams to not relive it again. Ignoring it, I tap Play and watch. It’s like a slow motion version of watching a train wreck happen. The media shows no mercy as they jump over each other to snap our pictures. However, my eyes are stuck on Dash.
The way he appears behind me. His veneer of calm and confidence, blown to pieces.
He looks torn. Broken. Lost.
It’s swallowed by rage upon landing on the photographers. Then as soon as I scream and pull the curtain over our dirty secret, he’s back to looking hopeless. When Justin takes me from his arms, he stares at my back knowing we’ll never be the same.
Every bone in my body screams to run back to him.
I slam the tablet on the island at the foolish urge. Rosa rests her palm on mine and consoles, “It’ll blow over before you know it.”
“It was always going to end this way.” My voice is devoid of emotion. “It was only a matter of time. Scandalous games like ours never stay in the dark.”
I push away and turn when Iris asks, “Where are you going?”
“I need to see my parents.”
“We’re coming with you,” they say at the same time, but I’m already shaking my head.
“I have to do this alone.”
“We’ll stay in the car.” Rosa shushes me when I open my mouth to protest. “It’s the only compromise I’m giving you. And until this mess blows over, you’re staying with me.”
Iris comes over to join us and pulls me into a hug, whispering, “Just because you have to do something alone, doesn’t mean you need to.”
“Okay.”
The three of us are ready and out the door in Rosa’s car as she drives to my parents’ house. The paparazzi is camped outside when we arrive and I’m grateful for the tinted glass so they don’t see my face. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror. But as we wait a few seconds for the security gates open, they shout and hurl insulting and demeaning questions. It’s enough to make my empty stomach wretch.
“I swear to God, I’ll get all their names and send my dog after their asses,” Rosa growls, glaring at them from the front.
If it were any other circumstance, I might laugh at her antics but I’ve never felt more lifeless.
“You sure you don’t want us to come with you?” questions Iris.
“I’ll be fine,” I reply and drag myself out of the car before walking to the front gates.
One of the maids opens them up and her expression says it all. With a swallow, she informs me, “They are waiting in your father’s office.”
I nod and make my way upstairs. The wooden door looms in my face, feeling like I’m walking to a lion’s den. And even before I knock and open it, I know affection and sympathy for my broken heart will not be waiting for me.
My father sits behind his large desk while my mom stands on his side. When his gaze drags to mine, he is livid. The man, who in all my twenty-five years, has never let emotions get the best of him and always stayed calm through the storm, is now glaring at me.
Shame makes me lower my eyes, knowing I’m the cause of it.
“Is it true?” he quietly asks.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
One word and I flinch as though he struck me. One word and it encompasses all his emotions. Anger. Disappointment. Disgust.
“A sham marriage, Bianca? Really?” cries my mother. “I knew that whole whirlwind romance story was too good to be true.”
I muster my inner strength and lift my chin as I confess, “I did it for Arya.”
“How does your sister fit into this, Bianca?”
“You left me no choice, Papa.” A tremor races to the tips of my toes as I give a sad smile and tell him the truth. Hoping against hope he’ll understand that I never wanted to disrespect them. “You both were so fixated on my marriage that you completely neglected the one daughter who actually longed for it. Because of me, you wouldn’t even consider her wedding. Your traditional values didn’t let you see the hurt it was causing her. We knew you’d say no. So, I decided to marry in name to please you both, hoping you’ll finally notice Arya.”
“So you sullied our name instead of talking to us.”
“When have you both listened to what I have to say?” My voice rises and a sad sound spills from my lips. “It’s always been about what you want, how you’re feeling, or how I’m such a big disappointment and never good enough. And, Mom,” I look at her sharply and accuse, “when was the last time you asked how I was doing? If I’m happy or sad, huh? It’s always who’s getting married to whom. Sometimes I wonder if you both even love me or if I’m just a commodity you want to pawn off to another.”
“Enough!” shouts my dad, nose flared and eyes narrowed into slits, as he slams his fist on the table. “Our legacy is built on the traditions and values you’re insulting, Bianca. Your generation has become selfish and reckless, forgetting that these rituals are important and keeps this society going. If I let Arya marry first instead of my older daughter, your reputation will be tarnished. It was for your own sake. We wanted to find a good man for you to settle down with.”
“Even if you know that I’m not ready and will never be happy?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Bianca.” My mom huffs. “In time, you would’ve come to love and respect your husband.”
“Now that your farce of a marriage is over and that man is out of your life for good, you will marry the man of our choice,” announces my dad. “I’ll fix the damage from last night.”
“No.”
They freeze at my answer and a chill spreads all over the room.
“If you want to be a part of this family, you will do as I say.” My dad threatens.
“Then it’s a good thing I never was to begin with.”
I walk away, leaving them stunned. I’m so done with everyone bulldozing into my life and expecting me to follow their rules. I’m done being used as a pawn for everyone’s agenda. I’m just done.
In the hallway, I collide into Arya, who looks just as worse as me.
“Oh my god, Bee. I was looking for you,” she cries, thick tears streaming down her beautiful face and sadness in her eyes. She’s the only family I have left. “Why? Why did you do it? I told you I was gonna be fine.”
“You’re my little sister, Ari.” I rub her tears away and cup her cheeks. “Of course, I would sacrifice anything for your happily ever after.”
“Not at the expense of you.”
“It doesn’t matter. Just know, you’ll finally get your dream wedding.”
“What do you mean?” she whispers at my sad tone, holding my hand tightly. “Say something, Bee.”
I wrap my arms around her small frame and hug her tightly. “I’m always here if you ever need me. I love you.”
She calls my name but I have nothing left to say.
Rosa and Iris rush to my side when I step outside and one of them asks, “What did they say?”
“Nothing that surprised me.” I shrug.
“I’m sorry, Bee,” Iris consoles.
“Fuck them,” growls Rosa. “You have us.”
I give a shaky smile, grateful for the world’s best girlfriends. We slide into the car and I tell Rosa, “I want to get my stuff from the apartment.”
“Are you sure? I can ask someone to bring it,” she suggests.
“It’s okay. He won’t be there.”
“Okay.”
