THANK GOD FOR Serena. She always knew how to keep my mind off whatever I was worried or upset about by distracting me with a good time. And after the run-in with Archer yesterday, I needed it.
Normally, I wouldn’t dare be anywhere near her and her friends while they were getting ready. They were a wild bunch, running around half-naked, singing and dancing, gossiping while doing their hair and makeup. It wasn’t a scene any guy should witness, yet there I’d been, invited to be a part of the madness of their hours-long Winter Ball preparations.
I’d shaken my head nonstop at the chaos, but it did what Serena hoped—got me temporarily out of my funk. By the time the limo pulled up to her apartment, I was two drinks in and feeling lighter than I had the last couple days.
As much as I hoped that feeling would stay once we arrived at the Elysium, that I could just relax and enjoy the night without constantly looking over at Archer and his date, the second we were through the press line and made our way inside, the tension crept back in.
“Nope, we’re not stressing tonight,” Serena said, grabbing both my hands in hers. The orchestra was playing upbeat Christmas songs, and she began to shimmy, her silver dress reflecting the icicle lights hanging from the ceiling with every turn of her hips. “Dance with me.”
“Right here? We’re not on the dance floor.”
“We’ll make our own. Maybe we’ll inspire some others while we wait.”
She lifted my arm, turning herself, and I found it impossible not to finally join in. Her joy was infectious, something I desperately needed, because the line we were waiting in was the mandatory greeting line with prominent Elysium members. And the person at the head of that line was the president.
Archer.
Or should I say, Archer and his date.
I stumbled at the thought, catching myself and giving Serena a tight, apologetic smile. She winked at me and kept dancing, not giving a care when she bumped into Travis behind us.
“Come on, you sexy beast. Dance with us.”
Travis eyed me over her head. “How many drinks has she had?”
“Only one,” I said, twirling her around. “This is her in her most natural state.”
He wrinkled his nose and ran a hand down the lapel of his steampunk-inspired jacket, complete with a tailcoat, a look only he could pull off. “What’s it like to be that…happy?”
I almost answered that I didn’t know, but I caught myself before the words left my tongue. Because I did know. I’d felt that fleeting moment of happiness in my time spent with Archer, where my heart felt so full it might burst.
Serena squeezed my hands and nodded behind me. “We’re next.”
Shit. My stomach dropped, and I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to face.
“He’s got nothing on you,” she murmured, and then stepped past me to greet her dad.
“Trying to start a conga line already?” I heard Archer say as I turned around to join Serena.
Damn, damn, damn. The man stole my breath. He wore a classic black tuxedo that fit his trim body to a T. In that moment, it didn’t feel real that he and I had anything to do with each other. We were on two different levels, like a king greeting his subjects.
I can do this. I can do this. I kept repeating the mantra in my head, hoping like hell I would convince myself it was true before—
“Preston.”
—Archer turned his attention on me.
“Mr. Carrington.” I somehow managed to get his name past my lips as he held a hand out to me, and never had it been so hard to play the role of the fake boyfriend and perfect senator’s son.
I slipped my hand into his, and as his fingers wrapped around mine, a jolt of electricity shot between us.
“The place looks amazing.” I looked up at the reindeers overhead, anywhere but at him.
“It does. Thanks largely in part to you.”
My attention came back to him and lingered, and Serena cleared her throat and wrapped her arm through the crook of my elbow.
“You and Preston always make a great team.”
Archer looked to his daughter as he nodded in agreement. “That we do, and may I say, you both look extraordinary tonight.”
“You may.” Serena lifted the edge of her skirt to show it off, and Archer chuckled.
“A modern-day princess.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, his eyes finding mine. His heated expression let me know, the only way he could, just how extraordinary he found me.
My heart thundered as he straightened to his full height, but when he turned to Rodney and introduced him to Serena, it just about flatlined.
Talk about going from an ultimate high to an all-time low. But I’d known this was coming. I’d been dreading it the whole way here.
“Rodney, this is Preston,” I heard Archer say somewhere in the periphery. “He was the lead volunteer in helping get the Elysium ready for tonight. I couldn’t have done it without him.”
Archer’s words were polite, professional, and about as impersonal as could be, but still that moment of slight praise made me want to throw my arms around him and kiss the living hell out of him.
Man, I had it bad. Reaaally fucking bad.
I moved in front of Rodney and said something that must’ve been deemed appropriate, because he laughed and looked to Archer, who was smiling with him. I needed a goddamn drink.
With a smile plastered on my face and Serena guiding me, I somehow made it through the rest of the line in a manner that pleased my parents, who were at the very end of it. Tonight was already stressful enough—the last thing I needed was for them to chide me for not being everything they’d raised me to be.
So to hear them gush over Serena and compliment me on my work with Mr. Carrington told me they were buying the lie, as always.
Lucky me.
“Hey.” Serena patted my arm as we made our way inside the huge ballroom. “Relax. We made it.”
I knew she meant that in a helpful way, but tonight our deception wasn’t sitting right. My stomach was tied in knots.
“Preston?” Serena led me past a massive ice sculpture that had been delivered this afternoon. But I wasn’t paying attention, my mind full of lies and what-ifs.
“He needs a drink.” Travis rocked up beside us, shaking his head. “Hell, I need a drink after that line. Why do I feel like it’ll be less judgmental trying to pass the pearly gates than getting into the Elysium?”
“You think you’re going through the pearly gates?” Serena grinned.
“Well, I attend Church as often as possible, and when I do, I make sure to get on my knees and…pray.”
“Uh huh.” Serena rolled her eyes. “And now I need a drink.”
“Then lead the way,” Travis suggested, hanging back beside me. “I think I saw the rest of the group heading toward the bar anyways.”
Serena started off ahead of us, her beautiful gown easy to keep track of as she made her way through the crowds of people chatting and laughing amongst one another.
Travis fell in step beside me, a thoughtful look on his face. “You okay?”
“Huh?” I hadn’t been paying attention to anything they’d said, but with our being the only two there now, I needed to switch my brain back on.
“You look like you want to throw up.”
With the way my stomach felt, he wasn’t far off.
“That had to be rough back there, seeing him with a date.”
Never had I appreciated the fact more that my friends knew about Archer. That Travis didn’t have to name the him in question, because we all knew my big secret, was one less stressor in my life.
I shrugged and let out a sigh. “Not like I can do anything about it.”
“I know. But it still sucks.”
I saw a bone-deep understanding in his eyes that no one else in our group had, and felt the hopelessness more palpable than ever.
God, how did he do it? How did he exist in the same space as the one person he wanted more than anyone else, and not have him? It felt impossible.
These last two days, being near Archer and not knowing what we were to one another, had been torture. I would’ve done anything to be the one standing beside Archer in that line tonight. I would’ve sold everything I owned, promised anything in the world—I would’ve even told my parents the truth…
How did Travis do it?
“Let’s get you a drink. It’ll help.”
I grimaced when we spotted the rest of our group over by the bar laughing. “Okay, as long as East isn’t ordering.”
SEEING THE ROCKETTES perform a special number for the event was a highlight and, with it being the height of the holiday season, a seemingly impossible feat. Archer had somehow made that happen, though. He could make anything happen.
Stop thinking about him. Don’t even look—
My body ignored my brain, turning in the direction I last saw him, searching him out. He wasn’t hard to find, not even in a packed ballroom. I bet even with my eyes closed I’d be able to sense exactly where he was.
You idiot. What did you expect?
Of course he was holding court surrounded by a bunch of ass-kissers. That much had stayed constant all night, even as he’d roamed through the Elysium making sure everything ran smoothly. Ever-present at his side was his date, whom I didn’t dare think of by his name. That would make him real, and he wasn’t real. He was just a fill-in. No one that would matter a few short hours from now—at least, that was what I hoped.
God, I was petty as fuck.
Archer looked up suddenly, catching me staring at him the same way he had all the other times I hadn’t been able to stop myself. I thought I’d been so good all my life at hiding my true feelings, acting unaffected when deep down I was a tumultuous wave of emotions. Archer seemed to be the exception, and I knew I was living dangerously by letting it show.
A hand clamped down on my shoulder. Daire grunted, shoving a shot glass of what smelled like tequila into my hand. The bruise he sported from kicking Joey’s ass was settling into shades of green that he’d refused to let Serena cover with makeup.
“What?” I said. “Am I being obvious?”
“If you have to ask…”
For Daire to be the one to save me from myself, I must’ve been mooning like a fool.
I didn’t argue, just tapped my glass against his and downed the shot. Definitely tequila, though it was so smooth I didn’t need a chaser.
“Thanks,” I said, setting my glass on the tray of a passing waiter.
Daire nodded in acknowledgment and then went quiet, passively looking over the crowd.
Hell, since he was here, I may as well ask him the question I was dying to know the answer to.
“Wanna talk about what happened with Gavin and Joey the other day?”
When he didn’t answer right away, I figured he wouldn’t, but after a long moment, he shrugged.
“Joey’s a dick-fuck.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but I should’ve known better. Daire wasn’t exactly the forthcoming type, so unless Gavin decided to give up the goods to the rest of us, we weren’t getting shit.
Further proof he didn’t want to talk about it was when he inclined his head toward Serena a few feet away on the dance floor, where she’d been with her roommates since I passed on joining her. “You should be out there.”
“Nah, not really in the mood.” She’d done her best to take my mind off things, but I didn’t want to be the downer ruining her night.
When I started to look in Archer’s direction, Daire moved, blocking my view.
I cursed. Maybe I should’ve been grateful I had someone, even Daire, making sure I kept my eyes off a certain someone, but I was dying to know if not being with me was having any effect whatsoever on Archer.
I could do this. I could stand here for another hour or two and pretend.
That was the plan, anyway, before the gossip mills began to run.
“Did you see he brought a date?” an older woman said from behind me. “It must be serious if Archer Carrington is showing him off. He never brings anyone to these events.”
“And so handsome,” another woman agreed. “They make a gorgeous couple. Do you think he’s got something to announce?”
“Hmm, he does look different tonight…”
While they continued to speculate about Archer and whatshisname, my entire body went numb. I couldn’t feel my feet. My hands. There was a buzzing in my ears louder than the sound of the crowd, loud enough it blocked out whatever they were saying.
Daire did a double take when he looked at me, and then he shook his head, warning me not to react.
A few weeks ago, that would’ve been easy. No problem at all. Back then I didn’t know what Archer tasted like or how it felt to have him inside me. What it was like to wake up in his arms and have him look at me like I was the only person in his world.
The urge to claim him in front of all of these assholes was overwhelming, and when the feeling came back into my limbs, I clenched my fists.
“Look at that,” one of the women said, the glee in her voice forcing me to sidestep Daire to see what was going on.
He didn’t notice I’d moved until it was too late. Until my gaze landed on the hand of the fucker who should get lost and I saw the way he was stroking Archer’s lapel and smiling at him. No doubt the group they were chatting with was giving them the same encouragement the women behind me were spewing, egging this shit on.
My pulse sped up as Archer wrapped his hand around the guy’s wrist—and then, like he knew I was watching, his eyes met mine.
It was irrational, I knew it, but I didn’t care, because my heart felt like it was cracking in two. And the truth was, what was happening looked natural. They looked like they should be together. They probably had more in common; he probably wasn’t half Archer’s age. Definitely wasn’t dating his daughter.
Daire gripped my shoulder, hard, and I barely heard him as he said, “I don’t mind a second black eye. Just say the word.”
But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hurt Archer or cause him any embarrassment, not on his big night, but I couldn’t force the words out, because it felt like someone was sitting on my chest.
I shook my head, still in a staring match with Archer. He pushed his date’s hand away, but it was too late. I had to get out of here.
“Need…some air,” I managed to say, stumbling back out of Daire’s hold.
“I’ll go with—”
“No.” I glanced at the dance floor, where Serena was thankfully oblivious to what was happening. “Tell her I had to go.”
He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then he snapped it shut and nodded.
And I took off like a bat out of hell.
