It’s nearing two in the morning now and I can’t help but feel like I want the night to keep going, I want it to never end. Everything is just so simple right now in this moment, feeling the music blasting through my bones, with my closest friends. Everything is simple. I’m dancing right now in this bar for my enjoyment even though I can feel my bladder starting to bug me. I’m drinking way too much, and it’s catching up to me.
The girls and I decide to sit at a table on the other side of the dance floor and catch our breaths after a couple of songs.
‘Emilia! Have you guys picked a date yet for your wedding?’ I ask while tying up my hair in a ponytail. Emilia is getting married to her college sweetheart, Harry. He graduated about a year ago and Emilia is just graduating this year. Both of them are computer science majors. He just landed a big job with a huge company, and he decided to propose soon after. He wanted to wait after he secured a well-paying job so he could gift her the wedding of her dreams.
‘We did actually. Thank you for bringing that up. It’s going to be a beach wedding, on one of the North Carolina beaches. And you guys are of course, my bridesmaids. What do you guys think of baby blue for the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses?’ She says, giddy.
‘I think that’s perfect. I love blue.’ Meredith exclaims, putting her palm on Emilia’s playfully.
‘Ok, but like… when is it?’ I pry again.
‘Sorry, it’s going to be this fall. Autumn time. I love fall weddings; flowers are changing colors and scorching hot weather is leaving.’ Emilia says, getting excited.
‘I’m so happ—’
Meredith cuts me off by tapping my hand frantically. She’s looking behind me and my eyes widen. She’s signaling that someone is behind me, and I don’t even need to guess who it is. Emilia’s smile turns into a frown as she sinks back down in her chair next to Meredith. What the fuck does Danny want?
I turn around rapidly, standing up at the same time, ready to finally blow off some steam. I’m drunk and feeling brave, I guess. My black hair whips around my face and I shout,
‘What?’
To my surprise, it isn’t Danny. It’s Shane.
My heart sinks and my eyes widen with fear. Was he stalking me? First Chrome Beans and now this bar? My bravery subsides and I just feel uncomfortable now. Shane looks great but that’s what enticed me in the first place, his good looks brought me in only to abuse me when I got close. He’s wearing a striped button-up red shirt and jeans, his usual type of fashion hasn’t changed.
‘Is that any way to say hello to your first love?’ Shane says as he puts his hand on his chest as if he’s hurt by my tone. I scoff.
You were never my first love. The first guy to hit me, yes.
I ignore his lie of a remark.
‘Umm, sorry I thought you were someone else. What are you doing here?’ I rasp, panicking.
‘I could ask you the same thing.’ Shane is eyeing me up and down now, licking his lips and I instantly cringe. I feel like he’s undressing me with his eyes, and I can’t help but feel like I need to run far away. My hands turn to fists and my bladder is now entirely screaming at me. I really got to go. ‘Well, this was fun,’ I say sarcastically with a fake high-pitched voice.
‘But I got to go to the ladies’ room now.’ I continue before starting to make my way toward the restrooms. I take one step before my hand is being pulled the opposite way and my fight-or-flight senses are now on high alert.
‘Dance with me. Just one dance.’ Shane pleads and I can smell the liquor on his breath, heavily. I look at his brown eyes and shake my head with no remorse and shrug. He tightens his grip on my hands, but I pull away, finally releasing myself from him. His eyes are now darker, and I know that look very well. He never could take rejection well. His facial hair from Chrome Beans is all gone, and it looks like he’s gotten a fresh haircut and shaved.
I turn on my heels, not caring about whatever he’s feeling right now after I pulled away from him. He never cared about how I was feeling when he would backhand me so hard to the point, I spit out blood, and my cheeks were bruised for days. I would lie about my injuries whenever I was questioned about them by Paul and my mom.
I stumble across the dance floor, and I try to keep my balance straight so I can reach the restroom without twisting an ankle.
What the hell was Shane doing here anyways? He always told me he hated going into bars with me, but he enjoyed going to strip clubs with his friends of course. The way he keeps showing up in my life recently is starting to bother me.
I enter the restroom to find a girl reapplying eyeliner at the sink in front of the mirror, while her mascara is running down her face. After closing the tube of eyeliner, she reaches for paper towels and wets them, probably to clean up the black marks on her face. I wonder what this poor girl’s crying about.
After draining my balloon of a bladder, I wash my hands looking at my reflection in the mirror, taking myself in. All of the makeup I chose to wear tonight was very natural, the only thing that stands out is the red lipstick I have on my lips that fits my olive skin tone perfectly.
I force a smile on my lips when all I want to do is curl myself up and scream from grief and frustration. I feel alone. A bar full of more than a hundred people and my closest friends and I feel alone. I’m an only child now and my mother is always hovering, not respecting my boundaries. And my father, well God knows where he’s at. He abandoned us when I was still in preschool and haven’t heard from him since.
I need to learn how to be a strong independent woman. As cliche, as it sounds, it’s true. I don’t need to depend on anyone for my happiness. I’m still going to be successful and happy even though the two most important men in my life were no longer here to cheer me on. And then Danny comes into the picture sending me more down a rabbit hole and I don’t know how I’m going to forget the way he made me feel that night. I fell for him. I feel hypnotized by his scent, the way he touched me, the way he makes me feel so alive and seen.
I’m so naive, crap, I’m in trouble.
He’s older, more experienced, and he’s capable of playing me so well.
I shake my head, snapping myself out of these sinful thoughts. He makes me want to indulge in these human desires, but my religion and insecurities keep me from doing so. I scold myself.
I take a deep breath, and I finally decide with myself internally that it’s time to go home. My emotions are getting to me. I grab the handle of the restroom door and swing it open and my eyes collide with Danny. His hands and gaze are attentive to securing his belt back into place in his jeans. Then he goes to his zipper and closes it. I can’t move. That’s what Danny does to me. In this moment, watching him, I can’t move. My eyes are glued to his hands and deep down inside, I wish those hands were on me instead. We’re alone for a good five seconds and he finally locks eyes with me, and he freezes as well. He’s exiting the unisex restroom but he’s not alone.
Behind him is the lady and it looks like she’s wiping something off her lips. Danny looks different, his ball cap isn’t on anymore and he looks more relaxed.
‘God, you taste so good.’ She says giggling in his ear, tiptoeing to reach his face, while grasping his biceps, she licks her lips, as she eyes me viciously unwelcoming. She doesn’t care I just heard her lustful comments. It doesn’t take long for me to put two and two together to know what just happened in that restroom and I grimace.
Gross.
I roll my eyes at them before walking away. Danny looks stunned seeing me just a few feet from him.
‘Ari,’ Danny calls out after me but I don’t stop walking. I’m disgusted with myself for being so vulnerable around him. I spilled out my emotions. Secrets of my abusive past relationship and the grief I hold for my brother. He’s not the same guy I kissed that night. The guy just got sucked off in a restroom.
I start to pick up my pace, walking through the crowd, bumping into body after body, apologizing as I hit them. Seeing the man I fell for at first sight, after he just got sucked off, sobers me up entirely. I’m extremely astonished to witness that and all I can feel is shock and utter disbelief. I really don’t know Danny. I don’t what I’ve gotten myself into. I’ve wrapped myself into a stranger.
I’m doing my best to get to the girls fast so I can tell them I’m ready to go. I want to force the image of Danny and his lady out of my mind.
Suddenly, I feel my wrist getting pulled behind me, painfully, stopping me from walking any further. I gasp and let out a cry as I’m being dragged upwards into someone.
Shane.
‘Shane what the fuck. Let me go!’ I shout at him, pushing his chest with my other arm, wincing in pain. What has gotten into him? He’s never hit or hurt me in public, it was always discreetly. We’re in the middle of a crowd full of people that are distracted with music, dancing around us and nobody takes notice that I’m being harassed. His touch reminds me of the constant dread I felt during our relationship. I want to fly. I want to run.
‘Just one dance Ari. I bet you miss my hands on you…’ he leans into my ear, as I’m still trying to wiggle my hand out, ‘My hands on your ass and tits, Ari-cakes. Don’t you miss that? I sure do.’ He whispers into my ear sending shivers down my spine. He grabs my ass with his other hand so tight and squeezes. The pain from my flesh getting pinched so hard, I just know an impending bruise will reflect as evidence in the morning. It hurts and now I’m angry. My free hand turns into a fist, tears stinging my eyes and I feel helpless. I know Paul would want me to be strong and I’m about to punch him in his jaw but someone beats me to it.
Suddenly, the next thing I know, Shane’s on the ground. My hand and ass are free.
‘What the fuck man?’ Shane shouts, rubbing his cheekbone but he’s quickly cut off by another punch.
Danny towers over him and his movements are fast. I can’t even register what’s happening but I’m being forced to. Danny grabs Shane by his collar and repeatedly punches him, pummeling him until I see blood on his knuckles. Commotion beaks out and I don’t know what to do. A circle of attention gathers around us and I can’t move. I’m paralyzed with fear.
Danny’s date starts shouting at Danny to stop and I just watch.
I don’t want him to get into trouble, I don’t know why but I still care about Danny’s reputation. I know if this goes down in Shane’s favor and he gets arrested, his career is over. I imagine the military has zero tolerance when it comes to stuff like this. That’s why Paul never paid any attention to Shane’s antics when he provoked him in the past. He wanted to make sure Shane threw the first punch so Paul could at least say it was justified with self-defense but Shane being the coward he is, never did.
Finally, I decide to act. My heart beats outside of my chest and the adrenaline starts to kick in. I start pulling on Danny’s shoulder, gently trying to get him to stop punching Shane. By the looks of it, Danny’s going to kill him in front of hundreds of witnesses. His rage is blinding him and I’m hoping I can stop him before it’s too late.
He looks back at me as soon as I squeeze his shoulder, fury in his eyes and they soften as he stares back at me, realizing it’s me. A tear falls out of my right eye and I quickly wipe it away. Somehow, it works and Danny lets Shane go.
‘What the fuck is going on here?’ Gabriel, the bartender, breaks through the crowd pushing them away with his forearms, to get through. He looks frantic and worried but when he spots Danny, he relaxes a little.
Shane’s still on the ground now covering his face, frightened. Danny’s breathing hard, staring Shane down, probably hoping he would get back up so he can keep beating him. He ignores Gabriel’s question and I’m paralyzed by this side of Danny I’ve never seen. If looks could kill, Shane would be lifeless.
“If you touch her again, I’ll crush every fucking bone in your hands and I’ll kill you. Don’t ever come close to her again Mitchell. I know all about you.’ Danny snarls, threatening him, his tone of voice is laced with ominous wrath, and it scares me yet it sends a wave of butterflies through my chest seeing him so protective over me. Gabriel stares at Danny and Shane trying to assess the situation and he comes to a quick judgment.
‘Guys, get him out of here,’ Gabriel orders pointing to Shane.
Two big muscular Bouncers behind Gabriel peer over his shoulder and haul Shane off the dance floor. Shane’s covering his face so I can’t get a good look at him but I see that his shirt is stained with drops of blood. The fucker finally got what he deserved. Maybe he’ll think twice before putting his hands on me or any other woman again without their consent.
I start to wonder how Danny knows Shane’s last name. How does he know all about him?
Meredith and Emilia appear now and grab a hold of my hands, comforting me on both sides.
‘What happened?’ Emilia asks me, moving her hands up and down my arms. I shake my head not wanting to talk about it in the moment because I’m too distracted watching Danny. I need to talk to him.
‘Oh, baby! Come here!’ Danny’s date squeals rushing to him, and grabbing his arm but Danny ignores her, and he keeps his gaze on me while flexing his fist open and closed.
‘Can we talk?’ Danny pleads, his blue eyes softening, and I melt at his question. I quickly nod and swallow. The crowd of people slowly go back to their night of fun and keep dancing, since the music never stopped playing.
‘Danny but… what about us?’ His date asks annoyed, she looks at me with disgust and jealousy.
‘I got to take care of her, Nora. You can either wait for me or get yourself home safe.’ Danny mutters. Her mouth hangs open, and he’s not giving her any attention but instead, walks towards me leaving her standing alone.
‘You’re choosing her over me?‘
He looks at her and without hesitation, he nods.
‘That’s not even a question. It’ll never be a question.” Nora flinches before he finishes, “but the answer is, yes.’
‘Asshole!’ She shouts before stomping off. A part of me feels bad but I could use his protection. I don’t know if Shane would be waiting outside for me. He could try attacking me again and I wouldn’t put it past him.
‘Are you okay?’ Danny towers over me, grabbing my hand and leading me toward the bar. I wave off Emilia and Meredith who look extremely worried and I know I’m going to owe them a well-deserved explanation. They both watch me leave and I’m grateful for their understanding and privacy.
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I could’ve handled that myself. Paul has taught me a thing or two about self-defense.’ I say sitting down on a barstool next to Danny. Normally I have pepper spray tucked into my purse, but I didn’t have my purse on me.
I pull out my phone from my pocket sending Meredith a text letting her know that Shane grabbed my ass while I was trying to get back to them after my restroom break.
What is my fucking life right now?
Can’t I just have one normal night before starting the job of my dreams?
‘I don’t doubt it. But I think he deserved to get his fucking shit kicked in for grabbing my cherry like that.’ Danny says, looking at me with no emotion except pure anger. He still looks extremely pissed off, so I tread my words carefully. Seeing him so infuriated, giving Shane the beating of his life, makes me feel a bit afraid of him. Like I’m watching beast fuming.
Wait, my cherry? There it is again.
‘Your what?’ I ask dumbfounded, I stop texting and look up from my phone screen.
Danny smirks and puts his ball cap back on.
‘You’re my cherry.’ He licks his lips. It takes me a while to figure out what he means. I’m squinting while staring at him and it hits me like a ton of bricks.
My virginity.
‘Really?’ I say sarcastically, a smile tugging at my lips. Danny chuckles and I can’t help but feel relief knowing I have someone right here in Paul’s place to be protective over my safety even if he just disgusted me not too long ago.
‘Plus, I think I overestimated how fucking great it feels.’
Danny pauses and I quirk a brow waiting for him to continue.
‘To be the person that makes sure he doesn’t touch you again. I know Paul never had the pleasure and I surely wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.’ He smiles.
My heart skips a beat and I feel warmth heating my bones, hearing those words. He’s an asshole one minute and the next, he’s… Danny. He’s being protective over me and I appreciate it. I appreciate the safety net he provides when he’s around me. Suddenly our eyes lock, butterflies flying all around again and I feel like we’re on his couch in the middle of a hurricane again. The way he looks at me is the same way he looked at me when we were kissing. It’s a look of desire. A desire that’s almost feral and it sends me into fog. I struggle to remain conscious when he looks at me like this so… I interrupt our intense moment.
‘Again… you didn’t have to do that. I’m sure you have enough on your plate, Danny. With your job and stuff. You don’t have to protect me. I won’t be another worry of yours…”
‘But you are.’
My heart thrashes.
‘I’m sorry?’
He clears his throat snapping himself out of whatever thoughts were anchoring him down. It’s like he caught himself in a vulnerable moment and quickly changed his demeanor when he realized it.
‘What I mean is that you’re Paul’s little sister. I’ll always protect you, whether you like it or not. You’re an Alvarez, which means you’ll always have me.’
I’m weak.
‘I’m always going to be here for you, Ari.’ He says it like it’s a promise and I’m hesitant to believe him.
‘I appreciate that.’
I’m trying so hard to hide my smile. He makes me feel like I’m worthy of more. It feels weird. I haven’t felt so respected by a man before. Shane was only nice to me when he wanted something from me… and then he would get abusive when I refused.
‘I feel bad for your girlfriend though. You could have taken her home.’ I try changing the subject hoping it lightens his mood but I don’t think it was the right choice of topic with the way his body stiffens.
‘He’s not pressing charges. You kicked his ass pretty well. I thought you were going to kill the dude. He’s not allowed here again anyways.’ Gabriel huffs out, interrupting, giving Danny another glass of whiskey. Danny is already permanently stained with the smell of whiskey and cigarettes but that doesn’t stop him. It’s nearing closing time and he still keeps drinking. He takes it gliding it down his throat with ease, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
‘For your hand.’ Gabriel throws a bag full of ice at him.
‘Don’t need it. I’m fine.’ Danny scoffs, dropping down his glass, he gulped down already. I study his right hand, his knuckles are red and swollen. My eyes widen and I can’t help but let my nursing education take over.
‘Just take it, it’s just for the swelling. Don’t be stubborn.’ I order grabbing the bag of ice and forcing it on his knuckles. Grabbing his hand sends a shock in between my thighs, throbbing and I have to internally yell at my body to shut up. I hold his hand for a couple of seconds, not daring to look at the sinful man next to me.
‘Your hands are soft.’ Danny flashes me a soft smile before leaning forward into my ear and I stop breathing. ‘Just like your lips and I’m not talking about the ones on your face.’
My eyes circling, I let go of the bag of ice and gently push him away. ‘Shut up, you’re drunk.’
He barely moves before twirling the glass again with his fingers. Looking at how his skin crinkles around his blue eyes as he smiles. It makes me think about how many times I’ve been around this town, and I’ve never bumped into him and now I feel like he’s everywhere. Maybe before, he was just another guy blending in with a crowd of strangers and I never took notice of him, and I don’t know how when he’s so sinfully, handsome.
The bar’s closing now and my knees start to bounce with anxiety. Emilia is my designated driver, and I’m getting impatient texts from them, and I know I have to say goodbye. I don’t want to leave but I have to. Nothing is going to escalate further anyways.
‘Listen… I’ve got to go. My friends are waiting on me. I appreciate you taking care of Shane for me… Are you going to be able to get home safely?’ Danny’s smile fades as he looks at me.
‘Of course, Cherry. But I’m going to stay after closing time with Gabriel. I’ll walk you out. I want to make sure that piece of shit isn’t out there.’ Danny looks away from me, clenches his jaw, and then takes another swallow of whiskey and stands up.
He’s so tall compared to me, then again everyone is taller than me. Generally, he is just a mass of a man with all those muscles but not too much. His muscles are proportionate and match his height perfectly.
Meredith and Emilia are already waiting in the car for me with my belongings in a black sedan. The bar is just about empty leaving Danny and I as the only customers. The employees of the bar began to clean, and they are locking everything down. The music has stopped and the only sounds I can hear are small talk and sounds of cleaning. Danny opens the door and looks around the parking lot, casually. I follow him and stay behind him as I wait for him to call me over. He nods for me to come forward, waving his hand to me.
I spot Emilia’s car as soon as I exit, passing Danny. She’s parked her car in front of the bar, with the trunk facing the entrance to the bar.
Danny lights up a cigarette and blows out the smoke in the other direction so it doesn’t get near me.
‘Thanks. I appreciate you walking me out.’ I wave my hand awkwardly. Danny studies me for a second then he puts his cigarette in his mouth again and takes in another hit, blowing it out.
‘She’s not my girlfriend.’
It takes a second for me to comprehend what he means. Oh… the girl that sucked him off in the restroom, got it.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business.’ Shaking my head, I bite my lip nervously.
‘I know but it’s important to me that you know one thing about me. I’m not a liar, Ari. I won’t hesitate to tell anyone the truth even if it’s brutal, even if they don’t want to hear it.’ He licks his lips. ‘I’m leaving for deployment tomorrow night. This was such a fun way to end my short vacation at home.’
My eyebrows raise and my heart sinks a little. I’m leaving too anyways, and I can’t help but wonder if he will be in the same place as me. I hadn’t told him my big news of working for a military hospital in Iraq as a civilian. It wasn’t such a casual topic of conversation.
‘Where to?’ I pry.
‘Can’t disclose that, Cherry. You know better. I’m sure Paul didn’t tell you either where he was being sent.’ Danny smirks.
‘Of course. Anyways… I guess this is goodbye?’ I question, feeling heat rise to my face hoping a deep color of red doesn’t reflect on my cheeks.
‘No.’
‘What?’ I ask confused. My eyebrows furrowed inward. ‘Why?’ I continue.
‘Because I know for a fact, it’s not a goodbye. It’s a see you soon.’ Danny says and he looks at me expressionless, so serious, it feels like he’s staring into my soul with no emotion as usual making it hard for me to read him.
I swallow.
‘See you soon then,’ I say walking backward towards Emilia’s car with a smile.
Danny looks at me while holding his cigarette in between his lips, taking another hit as he studies me, hard. He blows the smoke up into the air and it lingers towards the sky.
‘See you soon, Cherry.’
