Rider, D?
As in Rider, Daniel?
I look up from my chart to see his beautiful body on the bed, his hands on his phone, typing aggressively. At first, he’s hard to recognize. His face is covered in camouflage paint. A skull mask on his face. Shades of black, green, and brown all over, disguising his features. A mini panic attack unfolds in my chest. I quickly look back at my chart, then look down the busy hallway that’s full of nurses and doctors walking around, in a panic motion trying to think of another co-worker that would take over Danny for me. A mixture of feelings hit me hard. There’s no one I know besides Lori that could take over.
I’m excited to see him but scared at the same time. I bite my lip trying to decide what to do. All I want to do is run away. I start to rock on one of the heels of my foot, fidgeting. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from Danny’s rejection during the hurricane. I just can’t take any more embarrassment.
Still looking down the hallway with the supplies and chart in my hand, is when his deep, enticing voice rings in my ears interrupting my panic attack.
‘Ari? Is that you?’ Danny’s voice is full of shock.
Shit.
I turn towards him, putting on an act, as if I didn’t just find out he’s my new patient.
I look at him and he stares back at me, his eyebrows narrow and his eyes are full of curiosity, burning through me. As if he can’t believe he’s seeing me through the glass doors. Those beautiful blue eyes look like they’re glowing against his face paint.
I half smile, letting out a deep breath.
‘Ummm… hi…’ I chirp. I try so hard to defy human anatomy and refrain from blushing.
I walk into the room slowly, after sliding the glass doors open. Danny has his shirt off, smudges of dirt, and soot from smoke, all over his body, and his muscular abs on display. His skin has been kissed deeply by the sun and he looks more tan the last time I saw him. He looks tired and beaten. I feel a sting of worry in my chest and I really want to know what just happened to him.
But then I remember, I don’t want to be that girl anymore. The girl that wears her heart on her sleeve. The girl that always cares more than the other person. I’m always sweet to undeserving people. I swallow the question that I so desperately want to ask.
What happened to you? How are you feeling? Can I do anything? Can I kiss you?
‘So you’re a nurse for the military? You work here?‘ He asks as I walk over to his back assessing the wound. His question comes off rude and full of anger. He sits up, taking off his skull mask but I don’t answer right away. I have to focus on my job. I get closer to him bringing a stool over to the bed. I sit on it as I begin to prepare to clean his wound out.
It’s right above his eerie Grim Reaper tattoo.
‘Yes,’ I whisper my voice rigid.
His dark blonde hair’s a bit longer and messy. I bite my lip, hard. Why did he have to be so attractive?
His wound looks like a deep gash tearing through his back and all I see is ripped skin covered in an open deep crimson pool. It looks like something sliced him open from an explosion. It must have been caused by a grenade. I’ve seen wounds like this before, a lot in just a short amount of time working here. He has to be in so much pain. Soldiers I’ve treated in the past like this, usually tremble and beg me for numbing pain medication.
‘Did they already give you some medication for the pain?’ I ask, professionally.
‘No. I don’t want it nor need it.’ He says, his tone bothersome.
‘Well you might want it now for when I stitch you up, I have something to numb the area.’
‘Ari,’
The way he says my name… makes those damn butterflies in my heart and stomach storm around. I hate that this man, whom I barely know, makes me feel this way.
‘It’s unnecessary, skip the damn numbing injections and just stitch me up fast and good so I can get back out there. My team needs me.’ He says sternly, slightly raising his voice at me.
Well, excuse me. Is he really ordering me around right now?
‘Mr. Rider, don’t argue with me. I will do my best to be fast and precise but if you’re not cleared to go back out, you won’t be going back to your team. You will not be discharged from this hospital, pending the results of your other tests. Now, I’m going to start with the injections.’
Danny stiffens at my threatening choice of words. He grows quiet and his tense shoulders relax. We both sit in awkward silence. I don’t want to talk to him. Plus, I just don’t know what to say. And I think the feeling’s mutual.
I inject him with the numbing solution, the needle pierces through, and to my surprise, he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t jerk his body, not a grunt from the pain, nothing. Definitely not something I’m used to from my experiences with other soldiers, sailors, airmen, etc.
I begin stitching him up. The numbing injections are strong so he can’t feel any pain. I’m focusing really hard to not mess this up. This isn’t my first time doing stitches but I’m not fully confident in myself yet and I still feel new to these kinds of procedures. Sweat begins to break out on my forehead and I rub it away with my wrist.
‘Ari, what are you doing here?’ I’m quickly taken aback by Danny’s question. He sounds annoyed and condescending. I stop stitching him when I hear his voice, then I continue.
‘What are you talking about?’ I ask, trying to keep my composure. Trying to hide the sharpness in my voice, I keep my voice low and unbothered. What did I do to deserve his hostility toward me?
‘What are you doing here? It’s dangerous here. You’re not back home in our country. We’re in a warzone right now that doesn’t get talked about and you’re here… getting a front-seat view of the horror that lives hidden. The things you’re going to see, the evil that… ‘ He stops, shaking his head, ‘you shouldn’t be here, have them transfer you to another military hospital, stateside,’ he snaps at the end. Just when I think he’s concerned about my safety, he closes his sentence with rage.
Who the heck does he think he is?
I’m quiet as I try my best to focus on stitching and I don’t respond right away. I shake my head and scoff. I digest his words. About a minute passes by and I take a break from stitching his wound. I let my hands rest in the air, ensuring everything stays sterile.
‘Danny. Stop it. You don’t get to order me around like that. You don’t have a say so in my life,’ A sarcastic laugh exits my mouth and I suck in a breath before continuing. I shake my head, ‘I’m not yours to command.’ I blush with instant regret.
Danny licks his lips.
“For now.” Danny looks to the side so he can get a peripheral view of me. I’m still behind him, on a stool. And I see him grin devilishly, flashing his straight white teeth.
My eyes widen and I feel like they’re bulging out of my skull. I instantly blush, in complete utter shock. My mouth hangs open just a little as my heart quickens and tightens with heat. Before I can say something smart back and scold him, the glass doors open.
‘Rider, good and bad news.’ Doctor Diaz walks in. A Navy Hispanic veteran, he’s on the shorter side and yet he’s fit for someone in his fifties. He looks around his late thirties with short black peppered hair.
My teeth close shut, my lips press together tight against each other and I return to work. I’m already almost done and the wound’s closing perfectly.
‘Good news is I’m discharging you. The bad news is, you’re going to have to take it slow and rest for at least one week. I cannot release you back to your team because of the concussion you sustained and I want to make sure that you’re one hundred percent before I send you back out. So one week of bed rest and we’ll continue to monitor you over the next couple of weeks. Depending on how your check-ups go then I will re-evaluate your case and clear you when I see fit. You could be here on post for up to a month so prepare for that.’ Doctor Diaz orders, looking at Danny’s reaction, already preparing for an argument to unfold.
‘A week of bed rest? Possibly a month out of work? Sir, respectfully, that’s too long. I’m fine. Really.’ Danny’s deep voice pleads and at the same time, it feels like he’s ordering Doctor Diaz.
‘Trust me. I’m being generous. I would like to send you back home with the TBI you sustained. But I want to get you back to your team sooner. It’s just one week of bed rest and then we’ll see how you’re healing.’ Doctor Diaz studies Danny’s face.
‘One week is too long. I’m on an important mission right now. My team needs me, now. Not later.’ Danny argues.
‘You SEALS really don’t like being told no, huh?’ Doctor Diaz jokes before continuing but Danny cuts him off.
‘Nope. We’ll keep fighting until we get what we want…’ Danny tells him, his voice lowers, and I swear he looks at me when he finishes his sentence. I can’t get a good look to confirm it since I’m on the last stitch and I can’t get distracted now.
‘Still. One week on post. Rest up. No working out. No training. Just rest.’ Doctor Diaz says as he crosses his legs while standing, leaning against the wall.
‘I truly respect that about you SEALS. Always pushing your bodies until your body has to tell you no, even then y’all will push even farther… anyways, Ari here will discharge you. If there’s anything you need, just come back, we’re always here.’ Doctor Diaz says with tired eyes.
The glass doors open and I peak a glance before focusing my attention back on stitching.
“Admiral Ravenmore, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Doctor Diaz says with respect laced in his tone as he stands up straight efficiently fast.
An Admiral? What’s an admiral doing here? They’re high ranking officers.
“To check up on one the Navy’s most important assets. With all due respect Doctor, I need him to be cleared.”
He heard all of that?
Doctor Diaz clears his throat nervously.
“I’m sorry, Admiral Ravenmore, I really am, but I have a job to do too. I would be doing Danny a disservice if I cleared him right now, most importantly I’d be doing his team a disservice.”
Admiral Ravenmore’s eyebrows rise in defeat, the crinkles under his green eyes crease even more with disappointment.
“I’m fine.” Danny growls.
“Doctor Diaz with all due respect, Grim needs to be released, can I please talk to you in private?” Admiral Ravenmore orders him and Doctor Diaz nods with a smile.
Doctor Diaz follows Admiral Ravenmore and walks out closing the door behind him, just as I finish cleaning Danny’s back. His body was already covered in scars. And he just added another one on top of the tattoos he has on his back.
I get up from my stool and Danny leans back against the hospital bed, rubbing his beard, I can feel him looking at me as I walk in front of him to leave.
He grabs my hand, rough. And it reminds me of the time we were in his house when I wanted to leave the first time. His touch sends sparks all around my body. This man is trouble.
I turn around to look at him. I’m confused by the sudden pull, pissed off even. I try to let my hand free but he just holds onto me tighter.
‘Let go.’
‘I meant what I said, you need to transfer. You’re not supposed to be here. This isn’t your thing, little Angel. Working in this trauma hospital is too much for you to bear. It’s too dangerous.’
I finally free my hand from his grasp. I can’t believe he thinks he has authority over my career choices. He thinks so little of me and I resent it.
‘Why not?’ I challenge.
‘You’re naive. Too sheltered.”
I can feel the anger inside of me taking over my emotions. How the hell was Paul good friends with this man? It takes everything in me to control myself. I have to stay professional. I can’t let him win. I will not lose my shit over him even though it’s warranted. Then he really will get what he wants.
He wants me away from him.
‘Danny… I’m not as naive as you think I am.’
‘From what you told me, I think you are. What kind of girl has to have her older brother come to her rescue? What kind of girl falls for a piece of shit like Shane?’
I’m quiet. I’m growing furious. I’m in shock and it shows on my tongue. His words have me in a chokehold.
‘A naive one.’ He finishes.
‘Screw. You.’ I glare at him, harder.
He laughs. He laughs.
‘Isn’t that a sin, Ari? To screw me?’ He licks his lips, antagonizing me further. ‘Plus I’m not your type, I don’t hit women like your ex.”
Wow. He went there.
I hate him so much at this moment, my emotions taking over me and all I want to do is cry. Cry because he’s making me regret opening up to him. I am naive. He’s right but I will never admit that.
A sharpness hits my eyes. My eyes begin to water. I feel so angry but most of all hurt. I don’t know why. And I don’t know how. But for some reason, I feel like I need to seek his approval. I crave it.
Another piece of the old me chips off. I swallow hard and give him a fake small smile, as one tear leaves my eye. Danny looks back at me and he’s unapologetic. Right before I turn my head to leave, I can see that he’s reading me so easily. He got to me and he knows it.
