A couple of weeks have passed since running into Shane and Danny at the hospital and I have never felt so stressed out in my life. It’s Sunday, which means my first day off in two weeks. And I couldn’t enjoy it. I’m standing in my bathroom in front of the mirror, and I do finish touches on my makeup. It’s around seven at night and I already wanted to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. I had a picture of Paul and me as kids sitting on a shelf I installed on the wall behind me, his smile reflecting back at me through the mirror.
It’s a picture of us wearing matching outfits, photographed at one of those studios you find at the mall. Paul had his arm over my shoulder, wrapping it around me, protectively. We both looked so happy. I closed my eyeshadow palette, and a loud click follows.
A signature wing on the edge of my eyes as always. My day-to-day makeup look consisted of a light nude pink shade on my lips, a winged liner, and a natural foundation, with pink blush. Paul always teased me about my makeup. He always used to say that girls shouldn’t use makeup because they didn’t need it. He believed all women were naturally beautiful.
I stand up and grab my picture frame. I lightly trace my finger on the photo. I miss my big brother so much it hurts. It would’ve been so cool for me to have been here in Iraq while he was here, both of us following our dreams.
A knock on my door disrupts my thoughts. I place the picture frame back on the shelf and walk fast toward the door, prepared to greet my friend.
‘You ready?’ Lori’s cheerful voice asked me after opening the door. We made plans to go to the USO to see a movie. They’re showing The Proposal and it’s one of my favorite movies. Although I wish they were showing a horror movie. There isn’t much to do for fun around here but a movie at the USO sounds like a vacation.
‘Are you sure you don’t wanna just watch Netflix and just relax in my room?’ I plead already second-guessing my choice to be social on my day off. I’m so tired. I’m completely drained mentally and physically. From seeing gruesome injuries on a daily basis in the emergency room to being worried about the words of the two men that plagued my mind. Both in very different ways. Danny’s words were harsh but Shane’s were laced with evil.
‘I’m sure. As much as you don’t want to go out right, we need it. For our mental health. Plus, I hear we get to see Ryan Reynolds’s abs on a big screen.’ Lori gives me a wink before dragging me outside of my room. I turn around and lock my door before we leave.
When we get to the USO, there are lots of chairs lined up into five organized, even rows facing a projector that has the movie playing. We’re a couple of minutes late into the movie but hadn’t missed much of it.
I look around and it’s packed with military men and women of all branches, quietly munching on popcorn and snacks.
‘Go find us a seat, I’ll get us popcorn and drinks,’ I whisper into Lori’s ear. I look around to find the popcorn machine and drinks stand. There’s a woman in front of me grabbing popcorn so I wait my turn.
I grab a medium-sized brown paper bag and fill it in with popcorn. As soon as I finish, I grab two water bottles next to the popcorn machine just to turn around into what felt like a wall. A familiar wall. My side bangs fly into my eyes, my entire hair flips with the collision. I’ve bumped into someone’s chest. It causes a shiver down my spine fueled by anger.
Shane. Not again.
What was he doing so close behind me that with a slight turn of my body, my nose landed on his chest? I quickly back away, keeping my balance and I manage to keep the popcorn and water bottles in my hands. I narrow my eyebrows.
‘You’re still clumsy I see.’ He belittles me.
I glare at him, my eyes filling with rage and he smirks in return. His left arm is in a cast. So, he did break his arm after all. With his right hand, he pushes my hair out of my face.
‘Don’t.’ I hiss.
He quickly drops his hand, and tilts his head to the side mockingly, with a frown.
‘Or what?’ He’s eager to get me more riled up.
Shane drops closer to my level, near my ears so no one else could hear him but me. My chest tightens and I feel like I can’t move. I’m having flashbacks of abuse. I flinch, my eyes shut tight. I’m afraid he’s going to hit me like he used to do when we were together. Whenever I denied his touch, he would get sent into a rage. I tighten my grip around the popcorn and water bottles. My whole body stiffens. Then I remember, we’re not at the park, his favorite place to abuse me… and we aren’t together.
‘It’s not like you’ll do anything about it, Ari Cakes. I will always own you. I will always want you. Paul ain’t here anymore.’ His breath on my neck.
I clench my jaw. All I want to do is punch him in front of everybody. Showing him that I’m not that defenseless girl anymore. I’ve changed. I will defend myself if I have to.
I make the best decision to protect myself from the drama he so badly wants me to get wrapped in. I walk away, tense. As soon as I see Lori waving me over Shane’s shoulder, her cheerful face instantly relaxes me.
I didn’t expect to see Shane here. I forgot, now that he’s injured he’ll probably be around this post more often and that makes me nervous. This will probably be the last time I’ll be at the USO.
‘What’s wrong?’ Lori asked me as I sat down next to her. She reads me so well, as always. Her green eyes scan my body language. The movie’s playing but her attention is on me. She’s changed into a concerned friend. She looks back over my shoulder towards the popcorn stand and her mouth makes an o shape. She gasps. I’ve already told her everything about Shane. I told her every detail I went through with him after meeting him again as his nurse.
‘Yeah. He’s here. And now I think I just want to leave.’
