Of course, I passed Ari’s little evaluation of the TBI with flying colors. It’s so satisfying how easily I get under her skin. Her body was begging me to take her in that hospital room. She wanted me to but I held myself back. I won’t show her how villainous I truly am and can be. She doesn’t get it. I need to protect her. Even if it means, protecting her from myself. The fucked up side of me.
I’m just surprised at how stubborn my naive little Cherry can be. I can’t force her to go back home, but I’ll keep trying. She shouldn’t be here. I’ll be leaving soon and I can’t watch over her and that kills me.
Doctor Diaz cleared me and now I’m waiting for the paperwork to go through. My team carried on without me and everything went wrong on the mission I was benched out of. My phone blew up with notifications and I knew it wasn’t good.
They went in without me and shit went haywire. They failed to rescue the other hostage, Damon Hawk. Kane filled me in that Rooker was hurt badly and they were med-evacuating him back to the hospital where I was.
I should have been there.
My hands turn into fists tightly, on my lap, from the anxiety and anger I’m holding onto. I’m in a small waiting room at the hospital, waiting for an update on Rooker. Kane sits beside me and he’s just on edge as I am. Lopez took off to get rest.
Rooker is one of the guys I’m closest to on the team, besides Kane. He’s the oldest on the team, at the age of thirty-seven and still kicking ass. He’s the wise one. When we aren’t working, we go drinking, hunting, and fishing together. We all had a brotherly relationship with each other and the respect was unwavering.
Rooker has two twin daughters back at home and a wife. Their faces are in the back of my mind and it hurt me to tell his wife, that something happened to him.
If anything happened to Rooker, he made me promise that I would be the one to make that phone call to his family. Mainly because his wife knows me well. Whenever I was around Noel, it consisted of barbecues at his house or mine. His wife is a sweetheart. A bleeding heart that’s always weary for her husband. Rooker made it clear that he’d be more comfortable with it coming from me rather than some random guy that sits at a desk that doesn’t know Rooker personally.
She answered on the first two rings. It was around afternoon time for her when I called. We were a couple of hours ahead of her when she received the call.
Noel answered, her voice rushed. I could hear her trembling; she knows a phone call from me while Rooker’s on a deployment was never good. I told her that Rooker was in the hospital getting emergency surgery and we wouldn’t know if his condition is stable or not.
She screamed and cried, and I winced at the sounds she made over the phone. The sound of someone’s heart breaking completely into a million pieces. No one ever wants that phone call. And it almost broke me.
I reassured her his life, but I made sure to tell her everything was touch and go. I turned on my phone not sure of what to do. I wanted to keep myself distracted, something to keep me from barging into that surgery room demanding an update.
It’s already the next day for us. It’s around four in the morning and I’m wide awake with fury. I’m angry with the protocols that kept me behind. I start to fidget with my phone going through the photo album. I need a distraction. I scroll all the way to the top and I stop on a photo of Kane, Paul, Rooker, and me together.
We’re all fishing on Kane’s boat in Florida. Paul had caught the biggest Red Drum we’d ever seen. He was holding it up proudly, smiling big. All of us had our Oakley sunglasses on, dressed in shorts and fishing shirts.
I laugh.
I remembered this day like yesterday. I didn’t catch shit that day. Paul and Kane were reeling in all the fish and Rooker and I struggled.
‘Um… excuse me, Chief Petty Officer Rider?’ I was still looking at my phone when that familiar sweet voice interrupts my memory. I smile.
I stand up, looking down at Ari. She’s still in a scrub cap and she looks so fucking cute.
‘Ari… don’t do that.’ My smile disappears. It comes out sounding like an order. I hadn’t meant it to but it’s just a habit at this point. I didn’t appreciate her calling me by my rank. We know each other and I feel as if she’s trying to hide that fact. I didn’t expect her to be working but there she is, standing in front of me, cheeks flushed, sweat underneath her surgery cap, and licking her lips.
How I would love to feel that tongue on my lips again.
‘Sorry… He’s awake now. Bullet through his chest. It didn’t hit any major organs and he’s very lucky for that. The surgeon was able to dislodge the bullet, taking it out completely from his chest and stopping the bleeding. He’s in a lot of pain but he’s alive.’
A ton of weight lifts from my shoulders. I don’t have to make that phone call. Noel can sleep better tonight knowing that.
‘Can we see him?’ I ask, putting my hands in my all-black sweatpants. I’m in civilian clothing. Wearing a black plain shirt and my favorite pair of vans.
Ari nods and she motions me to follow her. She looks at me then at Kane. Her eyes widen.
‘Kane? Mr. Slaughter?’ Ari questions, eyes full of familiarity.
‘Ari Alvarez, would you look at that, you did become a nurse after all.’ Kane smiles at her giving her a high five.
‘Yes, I did. I’ve been working here for a while now.’ She motions her hands around her head, insinuating the hospital.
She returns the smile as she leads the way into the room Rooker is in. I look at Kane with curiosity brewing hard and fast inside of me. We stay back and keep our distance from Ari as we followed her. Kane gives me a shrug. Camo paint all over his face. His black hair is a mess and he’s still in uniform.
Asshole never mentioned Ari to me before. A small amount of fire in my heart sparks inside of me. It’s a foreign feeling and I’m unsure of how to handle it.
‘I kept my promise to Paul, you know that.’ He says firmly. He’s referring to the promise that Paul made us all do, to keep tabs on his girls. His sister and mother. I’m the only selfish asshole that didn’t follow through.
‘You’ve been checking in on Ari since Paul died?’ I ask, keeping my voice down. A part of me is angry that Kane has a more personal relationship than I thought, with Ari.
Kane nods.
We follow Ari into the ER hallways, towards ICU. The place is packed full of nurses and doctors. It’s a busy night. Meanwhile, I’m trying so hard not to make my gaze obvious. I’m watching Ari’s ass as she walks and I’m imagining all the things I would do to her ass if she let me. The thoughts swirl into my head and I can feel blood rushing down.
As soon as we enter Rooker’s room, my headspace clears, and I feel relief seeing Rooker awake and smiling. It’s a forced, I’m in so much fucking pain, smile. Nonetheless, a smile.
‘Damn, you look like shit,’ I say with a sarcastic grin. I take a seat next to him in an armchair by his bed. He’s hooked up to so many machines. The room’s small with a sofa against the other side of the room with a small television in the corner of the room, right under the ceiling.
‘Ehh, I’ve seen him look worst, and this ain’t it,’ Kane adds, chuckling.
Rooker winces, raising his hand up just high enough off the bed, and gives us both the middle finger.
‘Nice to see you idiots too.’ He says looking at me and then at Kane. Ari stands by the door with the biggest smile on her face. I can tell she’s proud of herself, looking at us three interact. As she should. She helped save Rooker’s life. I’ll forever be grateful to her for that. I can feel a slight pull at my darkened heart as she smiles and I grimace at the feeling.
I need some fucking whiskey.
I can’t concentrate or keep my thoughts straight around her. Every time I see her, I think about those nights before my deployment and the hospital room.
Now she stands before me again and all I want to do is show her what I would have done to her that night before I found out she’s Paul’s sister. I would have fucked her all night long until she forgot her own name. Make her come over and over again, painfully.
Out of respect for Paul, I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t do it. Because my intentions weren’t good. Because I want to completely destroy her. Break her in ways that she’ll learn to love. And never call again.
‘My shift has ended guys but before I go, do you guys need anything? Rooker?’ Ari tiptoes and rocks on her heel as the question rolls off her tongue. Looking at all of us, eager to help.
‘No thanks darling, just please keep the morphine coming.’ Rooker murmurs.
‘We’re good,’ I bite my cheek, trying to ignore her. I clench my jaw, while I keep my eyes focused on Rookers’ vitals monitor. It’s like the more I try to avoid her the more she appears. I don’t know how much more I can take before I give in to the lust inside of me that so badly wants to make her mine. Yet deep down, she already is. She just doesn’t know it.
‘Actually, Ari, can I ask you a question?’ Kane admits, walking closer to her. My eyebrows raise up. Oh, I know that tone of voice. I know that tone of voice all too well. We’ve experienced too many adventures in bars together, for me to recognize what he’s about to do. He’s going to pull something on her.
Kane leans on the wall with his arm on a whiteboard. Ari seems confused at first and I can’t hear them anymore. I keep my vision on Rookers’ monitor. Their voices sound muffled and I try to control my seething. I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.
Fuck, I need to burn one.
Ari walks away from Kane closing the door shut, softly after her. Their interaction was short but long enough to piss me off. Kane comes back walking towards the other couch, a chip on his shoulder, and he drops his body weight, crossing one of his legs over his knee facing us.
‘You did not just hit on a nurse. You know she’s Alvarez’s sister,’ Rooker mutters weakly, trying to get himself more comfortable on the hospital bed without pulling on his IV.
‘Stay out of it Rooker,’ Kane orders, getting irritated.
‘You know if Paul was here, he would kick your ass for just laying your eyes on her like that.’ I’m harsh and vindictive. I already feel territorial around Ari and I know this isn’t good. I look down at my fingers, popping them one by one before glaring at Kane.
‘It’s none of your guys’ business.’ Kane snaps. Narrowing his eyes at me, studying my face.
‘It actually is. It’s all of our business. We all made a promise to Paul. To watch over her, not hit on her.’ I challenge back, through gritted teeth. I’m spitting bullshit when I know damn well, I’ve already crossed lines to discover Ari’s mouthwatering taste.
‘Actually, we didn’t promise that last part.’ He argues. ‘A promise that you didn’t own up to. Why start now Danny?’ He continues to question me like he already knows his own answer. Wrapping his hands together, intertwining them on his lap.
My heart quickens as I feel the rage building up inside of me. Although I know it’s not just rage, it’s something more. Kane and I both stare each other down.
‘You never worry about anyone else but your damn self. Isn’t that why Paul died, huh? Because of a stupid selfish mistake that got Paul killed?’
I feel like someone grabbed a hammer and hit me in the stomach with it. His words cut me deep, the demons from Paul’s death come back in full force, howling over my mind, scratching at my sanity, filling me with familiar guilt I had when he died. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with his death. I finally reached acceptance but his sudden cruel words re-open my constant self-blame that I don’t think will ever truly close.
The motherfucker went there.
I stand up, throwing the chair I’m sitting on, back. The chair screeches across the floor, hitting the wall, with a loud thud. My anger getting the best of me. I take a slow step, and I’m thinking about storming over to him. I’m just seeing red at this point and who knows what I’ll do if I get my hands on him.
‘Wha— what did you just say?’ Ari’s innocent voice, stunned with pain and shock.
Shit.
I feel all my blood drain away from my body in a split second and I turn to face her. My heart drops, and nausea enters my body. She has her backpack swung over her shoulder and it looks like she’s about to leave.
‘You fucking idiots,’ Rooker says with a heavy sigh, throwing his head back onto the bed in disappointment. He closes his eyes and shakes his head.
