I‘m in the bathroom sobbing. I’m sitting on the floor, crying not caring if it’s dirty. I feel weak and drained. I could feel Violet’s pain and her agony. I felt it through her stories and her cries for Damon. This was her life now. She’s getting transferred back to the United States in a few days to continue her recovery and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that. I knew she wasn’t going to take it well. I don’t want to know what she would be feeling, finding out she’d be leaving Damon behind. I don’t blame her if she wanted to set the whole world on fire. I would set the whole world on fire if it meant I could bring my brother back.
My shift ended twenty minutes ago and I didn’t have the mental strength to leave without letting out what I had just heard. I had totally forgotten about Danny.
It was around ten at night and I felt gross. I still haven’t showered and that repulsed me. I couldn’t wait any longer so I decided to jump into one of the showers they had at the hospital for on-call staff.
I undressed, wrapping my clothes in my backpack, jumping into the hot water that was running. The hot water felt amazing, the longer I stood under the water, the more stress left my body. Violet’s question still lingers in my mind.
Love at first sight?
The feelings I have for Danny are strong but still… I don’t know him even though he makes me feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.
The shower was quick, I finish fast and then I throw my clothes back on before I step out. Violet had fallen back to sleep when my shift ended. She was doing a little better after spilling out the horrid memories in her head. She was begging for me to listen but I was already more than happy to be all ears. This poor girl would never be the same again but maybe with time, she could heal. Maybe when she gets back with Damon, she’ll feel whole again.
I grab my backpack, throw it over my back, and head toward the lobby. Danny’s nowhere to be found and it confuses me. He said he would be here waiting. I take another glance looking to both sides of the waiting lobby and I only see a few soldiers waiting to be seen but no Danny. Maybe, he racked out and was catching up on rest before he had to leave.
Crap… I really didn’t want him to go in the morning.
I exit the doors that lead to the outside of the building and start my way back to my place. I shouldn’t be offended. I got out way later than I originally told him. I sigh, dragging my feet out across the pavement. The moon is full, the air chilly, and it was honestly the most clear the sky has looked since I’d been here. It was breathtaking. My head falls back, while I take the whole night in. I could see all the stars twinkling around a full white moon glowing. I take this moment to appreciate the world’s beauty despite all the evil crawling among us.
The day before I was saving a life and that meant everything to me. I saved my first life with my bare hands.
When Rooker came in, he was bleeding out so profusely. A black hawk just landed and as soon as we got him on a gurney, I climbed on him. The bleeding wouldn’t stop so I plugged my hands into his wound, pressing it tight and I wouldn’t let go. Rooker was unconscious and I was on top of him, my hands applying pressure on his wound. His pulse was extremely weak and I felt like we were going to lose him, for sure.
The entire time, I’m hot and anxious. Multiple nurses and doctors are wheeling us both into the building, straight to an Operating Room.
‘You’re doing good, Ari. Keep applying pressure! Don’t stop or he’ll bleed out!” Doctor Diaz orders me and I don’t hesitate. My hair falls in my face and I’m looking at Rooker’s pale face and all I see is my big brother. Paul’s face replaces Rookers’ and I feel like I’m in some bad dream.
‘You’re not leaving. I won’t let you.’ I whisper, my lips tremble and Lori looks at me confused at first but then it registers for her.
Tears fall down my nose, I’m sweating, my cheeks red hot and I see blood seeping through the cracks of my fingers.
I won’t let my brother’s friend die.
Something catches my attention, interrupting my trance and I’m in awe. I watch a bright shooting star fly by and I smile. I watch it in silence, my eyes following its direction before it burns out leaving me in tranquility.
‘So breathtaking,’ I mutter, looking up at the sky in between two pillars in front of the hospital.
‘You are.”
Danny’s voice almost makes my ass drop to the floor as it startles me. My whole body jerks, my heart skips a beat, and I’m squeezing the straps of my backpack.
I whip over to my right to see a cheeky Danny, holding a cigarette in his mouth taking a hit, leaning on a pillar, smirking so hauntingly handsome. The sight of him almost has my knees shaking. God, he’s so entrapping.
‘Dammit Danny, you scared me!’ I shout, stomping my leg, catching my breath. I’m pushing my side bangs out of my face.
‘I’m sorry,’ he blows out smoke in the opposite direction of me, then puts out his cigarette underneath his shoe.
Seeing him in front of me makes my mind go hazy. My body feels like it’s getting pulled into him as I remember the last few hours I had with Violet. At this moment I can’t help it but I feel lucky. Lucky that I even get to see Danny in person. He’s alive and breathing. A moment that’s so routine sometimes people in relationships don’t understand how fast it can be taken away. It’s easy to take it for granted but in this second, I decide I won’t let it go to waste.
‘I went out for a smoke, while I was wa—’
I don’t let him finish, I take off, sprinting, and then I crash into him. I hug him so tight and I don’t care if I’m coming off as needy. I feel like he’s going to disappear if I don’t hug him hard enough. At first, Danny goes rigid. He’s trying to figure me out but he quickly holds me back, his hands snaking through my hair, gently.
I’m burying my face into his body and I’m sobbing. The air grows thin and my chest is tight. I thought crying in the building before I left work would prevent this exact moment, but seeing Danny only heightens my emotions, making them boil over inside of me. I don’t want him to leave. To witness all that I have over the past few months, with my patients, sends fear creeping inside of my mind about the possibility of him not returning. So much death has surrounded me this past year. The sunshine that lives inside of me… I can feel it fading away with so many thunderstorms I’ve endured. If something happens to Danny… I don’t even want to think about it.
‘Cherry, what’s wrong?’ Danny’s deep voice rumbles through his chest and I go weak.
‘You’re going out tomorrow to find the other hostage, Damon right? Aren’t you?’ I peek up at him. Danny stops frozen and he’s quiet. He knows I know.
He looks at me so intensely, his blue eyes flicker and I can’t tell what he’s feeling. It’s as if he’s upset yet he’s holding something else back from me. I’m sure he knows that I’ve been talking to Violet and Doctor Diaz. It’s not going to be long from now that Violet’s story would be all over the news.
He licks his lips before changing his vision from me to the sky. And I know my answer. He won’t tell me anything and I’m not surprised. My eyes dry up and I bury myself again in his body. His muscles tense over my back. Why does he make falling apart so easy?
‘Don’t worry, Ari. I’m coming back home to you, I promise you. This is a first for me… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ I flinch at his promise. He knows very well I have my doubts about him returning alive after Paul died. Paul promised my mother and me the same thing. But for some odd reason… I trust him. I believe him. Danny is starting to feel like an immortal man to me. As if, nothing can kill him. Nothing can hurt him. The way everyone in the military community talks about Danny… they make him seem like a mythical legend that can’t die.
‘You have every right to not trust me after everything you’ve been through,’ his fingers slide to my chin, lifting it so I can look at him. His eyes are glistening with devotion. Relief washes over me and I’m aching to be in his bed again. A tear escapes and it falls down my cheeks and he wipes them away with his fingers. I close my eyes relishing his touch.
Danny shakes his head.
‘Don’t cry over me, baby. I won’t let you. The only time I want to see you cry is when I’m fucking you.” His pressed lips lift into a haunting smirk.
The smell of sweet whiskey burns into my nostrils and it swallows me. The scent is strong like he had been drinking for a while. Instantly, I’m curious as to why he drank so much to the point it stains his clothing. Still, I’m somehow drawn to this scent of his. It arouses me and I feel ashamed. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes mixed together, create a perfect potion of lust that I can’t stop longing to taste in him and only him.
“Danny… are you drunk?” I look up at him and he licks his lips, followed by a flash of his perfect, white teeth.
“It’s my last night here, why would I waste it being sober?” He says nonchalantly.
I frown. I’m starting to realize that drinking is just a part of Danny’s identity and it saddens me because I know deep down inside it’s because of all the darkness that devours him, daily.
“The sky is so beautiful tonight,” I whisper, softly, changing the subject.
“Sometimes, I wish I could fly because I know… I know Paul… he’s up there. And I just want to be closer to him. We had plans… he had plans.” My voice cracks.
Tonight has just been the most overwhelming, emotional night that I’ve had since my brother passed. The past forty-eight hours actually. From having my room destroyed, to letting go of my promise to myself and God, to taking care of Violet and her tragic situation, it’s all too much.
I notice a change in Danny’s body language.
‘Let’s go. I want to show you something.’ Danny lifts my chin up to him and rubs his thumb over my bottom lip softly.
‘Where?’
‘I called in a favor. Funny you mention flying.’ He smirks.
‘Huh? What do you mean?’ I ask, wiping away a tear, and laughing.
Danny looks at me with a grin. He grabs my hand and it sends me into a shockwave.
‘You’ll see.’
Danny and I are escorted in a car toward the airfield of the military post. It doesn’t take long at all. Everything was built so close together on this post.
The night is dark but the moon gave us enough light to see where we are. There were Apaches, Black Hawks, Chinooks, and airplanes surrounding the airfield, all lined up and organized. But there were a few on the tarmac getting ready to fly. The sounds of helicopter engines and the blades of the aircraft filled the air.
The closer we got, the vibrations and volume grew. Danny opened my car door and I was extremely hesitant about what his plans were. I’m pretty sure I’m not allowed anywhere near this area.
‘What are we doing here?’ I ask him, as he grabbed my hand leading me out of the car.
‘Have you ever been inside a helicopter?’ His question catches me off guard. I open my mouth to answer but saliva gets caught in my throat.
Palpitations hit my chest and I cough. I have a huge fear of flying. Airplanes and heights in general. I never rode roller coasters or went hiking in high mountains, it just wasn’t for me. Acrophobia is a real thing and a huge red flag.
Danny laughs at my incompetent behavior.
‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m sorry it’s just that… I’m terrified of heights. And no, I’ve never been in a helicopter before. When would I ever find myself in that situation?’
Danny shakes his head, leaning in my ear.
‘Another first I get to take part in then.” Danny grins. My mouth falls open and I lightly push him away from me.
‘Danny! I am not getting on a helicopter! I’m pretty sure I’m not even allowed to be here.’ I nudge him in his side as he tries to pull me into his arms.
‘No, you’re not but again, a good friend of mine is a Black Hawk pilot. I wanted to show you what it’s like to ride in one.’ He’s not giving me the option to say no. His hand finds mine, intertwining our fingers together and he’s pulling me against my will. I try my best to run but his grip only tightens on my hand.
‘No Danny stop! I’m scared of flying!” I’m trying to pull my hand out of his but it’s no use.
We’re walking closer to a group of men dressed in their camo uniforms standing next to the helicopters running. I’m literally fighting against his hold like a child throwing a tantrum and the parent has to drag them along.
As we get closer, I stop trying to pry myself out of Danny’s hand. My cheeks are heated as I grow uncomfortable the closer we get to them. I’m in my scrubs and the wind begins to pick up leaving my skin in goosebumps. Danny wears a dark green shirt, a particular shade of dark green that’s almost brown. Along with all-black Oakley pants and boots.
We’re finally a few steps away and all the men turn towards Danny, they all have wide smiles on their faces, excited to see him. He finally drops my hand.
‘Oh, would you look who it is? Mr. Grim Reaper joins us on tonight’s ride.’ A tall, handsome man greets us reaching out for Danny to shake his hand. They pull each other into a brotherly hug, a pat on the back and he does the same to the other four men around us. Does everyone know Danny?
‘You know I never pass up a chance to be in one of these, Reid. If I didn’t love the forefront so much I’d be up in the sky with you guys flying these badass machines.’ Danny says with a wink. His smile flashed his straight white teeth. And I almost faint at the beautiful sight of his thrilling look. I stand there awkwardly behind Danny, hiding behind his massive frame.
‘So this is Ari? The nurse that helped save Rookers’ life?’ Another voice I don’t recognize asks and Danny moves to the side, revealing my hiding spot. He must have told them about me.
Shit. I have to socialize now. One of the things I least enjoy doing.
‘Hi…’ my voice breaks and I clear my throat while waving awkwardly next to Danny.
One of the men, bald and more rugged looking, looks me up and down before drawing his hand outwards for me to shake. The way the man looks at me makes me uncomfortable. Danny senses my uneasiness and placed his hand on my lower back, and I feel like he’s sending them a message.
“We can get in a lot of trouble for this but a friend of Grim and Rooker is a friend of ours.” I shake their hand, nodding in return.
“Alright, it’s just about that time y’all, let’s fly.” Reid claps his hands together and waves his hand over his head as he retreats towards a Black Hawk Helicopter.
