Leaving never bothered me before. It excites me. The adrenaline I get from each deployment is my high and I become a different species each time. Grim Reaper is an accurate representation of the way I view life when my uniform’s on and my rifle in my hand.
I was leaving no one behind at home, but this time… it’s different.
It’s going to take me a long while to get used to having someone wait for me. Ari was distracting, captivating, and enraging. I had her pretty little soul wrapped around my demons. Little did she know she also has me sucked into her like a fantasy I didn’t deserve.
We’re getting ready to raid another village. It’s been a couple of weeks of just leads. Our military intelligence would only get us so far. Every time we got intel on Damon’s coordinates, my team and I would quickly assemble a plan, act and fail to execute. Our missions were compromised every single time we got closer to him. They would move Damon and the mission would fail.
But each time, we got closer. This last time we captured some of them, interrogating the men we got our hands on. Eventually, someone sang lullabies and led us into tonight’s mission. At this point, Damon’s chances of returning home were slim.
We’re in a chinook, it’s full of Navy SEALS and Green Berets ready to bring hell. Kane sits next to me even though our friendship is estranged. It hasn’t been the same since Kane and I fought. Usually, when shit like this happens, it’s not good for the morale.
I refuse to speak to him after such a low blow like bringing up Paul’s death in an argument. The fucker went there and he knew he fucked up. To top it all off, witnessing Kane flirt with Ari, had my blood boiling. But I couldn’t be mad. It didn’t make sense to be mad. I fucked Ari.
I’ve already prepared myself to get so much hate and judgment from everyone that knew Paul in the military, including his team once they found out.
I didn’t give a fuck. She was mine, let them fucking talk, let them judge, it won’t stop me from consuming her again. The promise to Paul was being fulfilled, just in my own way. I would continue to watch her. Protect her. Break her.
‘The famous Grim Reaper. Paul’s told me a lot about you.’ A SEAL on my right says. I’m annoyed. I’m well-known in the military community. Not only for my kill count which I despised thinking about but it was who I had taken out that made my reputation so widespread. I’ve killed at least three terrorists on the most wanted list. No other special operator has been able to do that but me.
I glare at him, and his grin fades. Our faces are covered in camouflage paint but I’m wearing my skull mask as usual on top of the face paint. When I enter a chinook, I enter a different state of my mind. The mind of an irrational lethal creature.
He clears his throat, reaching out for my hand to shake but I don’t take it. I watch him retract his hand when he realizes I’m not going to take it.
‘The name’s Zeke.’ I recognize his voice. He’s the SEAL that carried Violet out of the building Rooker and I raided.
‘Ah, Aitu. Paul’s told me a lot about you.’ Zeke’s operator name means demon in Polynesian. Zeke is Samoan. I looked into him when I had to give a full report back to my captain. After every mission, we’re required to do a mountain of paperwork. He was a good man from what his reputation says. Same body frame as I, the same height as me, long black hair slicked back, and his arms covered in cultural tattoos.
‘We’ve met before. Just briefly.’ I couldn’t see his face, only his grey eyes. He wanted to talk but I didn’t. I never did. My team knew better than to make small talk when we were at work.
I nodded not wanting to continue the conversation. He gets the message and turns back around. I lay my head back resting it, mentally preparing myself for the fucking war we’re about to endure. The group of soldiers in the cabin begin to chant the Ballad of the Green Berets. It’s a short song and a respectful one.
My hands rub my jaw, my beard poking into the skin of my palm. The air feels ominous. I had a sick feeling something was wrong. Whenever I got this gut feeling I was always right. It was going to be a shit show tonight.
My experience from all the deployments in my career wrecked my way to think positively. I always hoped for the best but expected the worst. Shit, you couldn’t even have nightmares of, has happened in my career. And this feeling was screaming at me. Something is wrong.
The helicopter begins to descend to our destination and a familiar premonition starts breathing down my neck and I smile wicked, with my eyes closed. It’s sending chills throughout my body, making my hair stand up, I flex my back muscles straightening my posture, sighing, making all my knots pop. Death has made his presence known and he would be collecting souls tonight. But I would make damn sure, I wouldn’t go down with them.
I’ve got my little Angel waiting for me at home.
My team is the first to breach the building where Damon is said to be. It’s a tall building with lots of rooms about five stories high. There were lots of buildings on this one road. It has been a wild ride up until this point. And finally, we found where they were keeping Damon hostage. The terrorist group didn’t know we were coming this time.
The area is surrounded and we made sure to come in with a huge amount of numbers. We would make sure that every single one of these evil sons of bitches would die tonight. Yet, death was looming around me making sure I knew, some of us might not make it back tonight.
You’re always here, death. Waiting for me to reap more souls.
I’ve been around death so much we’ve become close friends.
The night had just begun, and the villagers were all asleep. We’re all on foot with Apache’s on standby. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins, as we get closer to the back of the building. Zeke is our new breacher. He’s taken Rooker’s spot until he recovers and he begins to assemble the bombing device. I give him a nod before he plants it onto the wall.
My mind drifts to Ari. And I swear I can smell her sweet perfume as if she’s right next to me. Her scent could bring me to my knees and I wondered why this was starting to become a routine thing.
All the men are crowded around the wall, holding their rifles, strapped with multiple weapons, knives, and grenades.
Ari’s sweet floral scent is replaced by something burnt. The smell of wood burning fills the air. My team starts to sniff the aroma, all of us questioning the origin.
This can’t be good. Something’s burning.
What the fuck are these monsters up to now?
It doesn’t take long before the breaching device goes off and it hits all our bodies hard even when we stepped back at a safe distance. All of us flinch, the bomb rattling our bones and ears ringing. Still, I make my way in first and the others all follow.
The first thing I see when I enter is smoke. I clutch my rifle ready to use it. I expected to see men scrambling but nothing yet. I head for the staircase across the end of the hall, quietly, stealthily. It was quiet in the building when we entered but not for long. A man starts to scream with so much terror. The sound erupts in the building and rage starts to blind my vision, seeing red.
Damon Hawk.
Shit. We have to move fast.
Kane is behind me, followed by Lopez, and Zeke. Our boots are quiet as we start to jog toward the stairs. A man appears jumping out in the open into the center of the hallway. He’s holding an RPG.
I don’t hesitate. I put a bullet right in between his eyebrows. His body immediately goes lifeless, falling to the ground along with his weapon. I didn’t even give him a chance to blink. I was fast, accurate, and lethal. My team trusts me to lead them into battles with their lives and I validated their trust every single time.
Death, here’s your first soul of the night, do your worst.
The mics in our ears go off, shouting from the teams outside hounding me for questions on where the shots were coming from. Lopez immediately answers them with details. They relay to us that smoke is now seeping into the air from the building. They suspected a fire is about to take the whole place down.
Meanwhile, this is happening, the screaming doesn’t stop. It just gets worst and worst and I’m doing my damn best to find Damon before it’s too late. My thoughts travel to the worst and I know they’re torturing the shit out of him or worst. I didn’t want to fail him. I didn’t want to fail Damon’s family. I want to give Ari good news when I come back from this and I promised myself I would.
The screaming is blood-wrenching, my stomach curls, and I want to cover my ears from the sounds of pure agony that almost sound demonic.
‘Motherfuckers.’ Kane snarls behind me. I sensed that he was just as disturbed as I was.
We couldn’t just rush into any room. Everything had to be calculated and careful or we would pay the price with our lives.
The smoke thickens and it’s constricting our breathing. We all begin to cough and smell burnt flesh. I shake my head, coughing into my rifle. The smoke starts to burn my eyes and I’m blinking fast. Trying so hard to keep them open. One blink at the wrong time meant my life or my teams.
I reach the top of the stairs and do a quick scan for threats.
Nothing.
‘Clear!’ I roar. Kane, Lopez, and Zeke are a couple of feet away from me, on the stairs waiting for my orders. The smoke has gotten so bad and something catches my eye. There’s a black fog of smoke pouring out from under a door and I’m positive that it’s Damon. His screaming is starting to fade, his voice hoarse. Still, I’m hopeful that it isn’t him.
Suddenly, a shiny machete encapsulates my attention, I’m on high alert, and I manage to dodge the attack but I’m getting tackled to the ground, deeper into the hallway away from my team. My rifle flings out of my arms and a massive amount of weight is on top of me, snarling.
A man just about the same size as me is attacking me, with no remorse, spit flying into my face, as animalistic noises spill out of him. He punches me in the face, busting my lips open. The asshole raises his machete over my head but I react so fast, I return with a punch, and we’re both exchanging hits. This son of a bitch is fighting back and we’re wrestling on the ground.
‘I can’t get a fucking shot Grim!” Kane calls out to me, panicked. His laser pointing straight at us. If he misses his shot, he risks shooting and killing me. If he takes a shot killing the threat, the bullet could penetrate us both. It’s a lose, lose situation.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” I laugh, as the darkness takes over my body.
I’m not panicked. I’m fucking excited. I’ve trained hard for moments like this. In fact, I’m relishing every single second. I start laughing harder, sinisterly, grinding my teeth. Blood and spit fall from my lips and I love it.
I hold him back with one of my forearms supporting the man’s entire weight with one of my arms. It gives me enough time to reach for my six-inch knife that’s tucked into my kit. It’s amazing what adrenaline could do in a fight-or-flight situation. His eyes are burning holes in me, holding so much darkness and hatred.
The man wiggles out of my hold, yelling, cursing at me in a different language. He’s fast but I’m faster.
I plunge the knife towards his neck, slicing the blade across his throat. Blood sprays across my face and chest and I throw his body off of me, he’s scratching at my arms desperately, my uniform protects me from the impending cuts.
Life is slowly fading from his grasp and I’m having too much fun like a kid in a candy store. I don’t waste any more time before I’m stabbing him in his chest, eliminating the threat, giving Death another soul. My blade is so sharp, it pierces straight to his heart without a problem. The man’s eyes widen with pain.
I stand up breathing hard watching the man on his back, choking, blood squirting out onto his long beard. I’m searching for my rifle while Kane and the rest follow, searching the halls for more threats.
We’re all breathing hard due to the lack of oxygen. Sweating and eager to find Damon. He’s no longer screaming. And that’s never a good sign.
Kane towers over the man I just killed making sure he’s really dead. He checks his pulse, clenching his jaw, sweat dripping from his brow. He looks at me and nods. The entire time Lopez and Zeke are working on getting the door open.
I re-adjust my rifle.
“That was fun.’ I cough.
Aitu breaches the door and he’s engulfed in black smoke.
‘Fuck, I can’t see shit!’ He rasps.
We wait until the smoke subsides a bit to see the source of the fire. I’m squinting and I already know what awaits. Finally, it’s clear and I assess the situation. The anger I’m feeling enrages me until I’m shaking, dropping my rifle to the ground, disappointed.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Damon has been burnt alive. Once the building and area get secured, a team would pull out a DNA kit to confirm.
The smell of burnt flesh is so potent it wreaks, making us all sick. I had one straw of hope that we would be bringing him home alive. That was long gone now. My heart drops. I didn’t want to fail another family. Another mother, another sister. We were too late. Damon’s dead. Another son, another brother to be buried. A soul I couldn’t save. The flames have completely consumed him and we had to get out of the building so we could let in another team to extract Damon’s body and prevent the building from completely burning down. There’s nothing my team or Zeke’s could do at this point.
Something breaks inside of me and I’m unsure what it was. All I feel is straight disappointment in myself. My sanity chipped once again, shaking my head in distress. I let my head fall down as I rub my beard. I walk out of the building, to get a break from the suffocation. The cool night air hits me and it’s relieving. My thoughts scramble for the taste of whiskey. I’ve felt like I’ve been spiraling out of control ever since I met Ari. I had fully grieved Paul and was just about healed. But… she reopened the trauma when I met her. The shadows of demons in my head now clouding over me like a meal to devour, my soul for theirs to take.
A mission failed. Fuck.
My blood is boiling. My teeth are grinding so hard. My temper rises to unnatural limits replaying the burnt body of Damon in my head. Bright red, orange, and yellow shades blinded me. And now I’m replaying Paul dying in my arms. At this moment, I’m no longer Grim Reaper. I’m weak. I do something I’ve never done before and I walk away from my team, aggressive with each step, tearing off my skull mask. My boots are heavy on the ground as I head for the chinook. I pull out my cigarettes, and smack the box, packing them against my thighs as I walk.
“Grim! What the fuck man? Where are you going?” Lopez calls after me, confused but I ignore him. My monstrous height passing by Lopez. Military operators of all kinds surround the building, finishing the investigation. We had expected more terrorists but knowing that tonight was the execution of Damon, it made sense there were hardly any of them to fight.
“Let him go, man.” Kane grabs Lopez by the shoulder, pulling him back. “Let him be. I’ve never seen him like this before.”
