I can’t move and I feel like I can’t breathe. The details of the weight Danny holds on his shoulders are too much for me to bear. I can’t imagine spending one day in his shoes, in his mind.
‘I choose you, I don’t care about anything else.’ I respond, looking into the eyes I love so much.
Danny has so many scars that carry beyond his physical ones and I wasn’t going to let that curse me from loving him. Whatever is left of his sanity, I want it.
He looks at me and a low growl thunders inside of him. The sound drenches my inner thighs from the longing lust calling for him.
‘My naïve little Cherry. My world will tear you apart. You’re choosing wrong but I’m the selfish asshole who won’t ever stop you from doing so.’
His eyes move from mine and trail down to my mouth. His eyes are red and burning with desire. His lips fall onto mine with so much need I’m seeing twinkling golden sparkles while my eyes are closed and I’m just focused on feeling him.
Our kisses are hard. He’s searching for any type of release from my lips, and I am too. Our kisses are not enough. His tongue is claiming mine I gladly let him dominate my mouth.
The way we kiss each other transports me into a haunted dream-like fairytale. We’re waves from different oceans crashing into each other and the paradise is so dark I can’t walk away from it. I don’t want to.
‘From now on, everything I do isn’t for myself anymore.’ Danny backs away from me, holding my knee.
The realization that Danny and I aren’t so different hits me. We’re the same in some ways. I feel so stupid for not understanding this sooner. Both of us want to help people that need it. We’re both trying to save people when we’re having trouble liberating ourselves.
I sit up on the bed following him. This wasn’t the type of love I had ever imagined myself having and I don’t think I would be getting a typical happy ending. Diving into a journey with Danny scares me because his career holds so much uncertainty. At any moment, I could lose him like my brother.
I reach out and touch his chest, my hands trailing the sand clock tattoo. I’ll let him take me the way he wants, the way he needs. I reach for his cheek but he stops me. He looks relieved and the most relaxed I’ve ever seen him… so when he stops me from going any further, I’m stunned.
‘Not tonight.’ He leans in and kisses my cheek.
He looks tired, drained, and vulnerable. He wants to just… sleep instead. Something, he’s still getting used to doing. Letting himself drift into a deep slumber… with me after sex. Every morning I wake up alone and I wonder when that would end… would it ever end? Will he ever comprehend that I accept him and every single fucked thing about him?
It doesn’t take long until he’s turning me around and we’re lying down. We’re both quiet and we both have said enough. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I just wanted to enjoy his visible presence alongside me.
Danny falls to the bed, grabs my hand, pulling me down with him. He kicks off his pants and gets comfortable.
‘I need to pee.’ I crawl out of his grasp until my feet hit the floor.
I can’t help but feel like I need a moment to fall apart… alone.
As I walk through the hallway to Danny’s bathroom, I notice how it’s completely covered in all of his military achievements, awards, and graduations. They’re all framed and neatly organized on each wall representing a successful and accomplished Navy career. Medals, and photographs with high-ranking admirals, glimmer in my eyes. This man truly was incredible.
I brush my teeth as quickly as I can. But once I look in the mirror, I fall apart. I start sobbing, breathing heavily and I grip the edge of the sink. I break away from my own reflection and look up at the ceiling.
I’m questioning my faith once again. I hate that Paul had to die like that. One wrong decision and it was lights out for my big brother.
I make sure to sob quietly. I didn’t want Danny to worry. I was worried for him.
‘Paul, why did you always have to be so dang stubborn?’ I whisper to the ceiling.
My brother made his choice but I know for a fact he wouldn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him. Hearing these words come from Danny’s mouth felt like dark poison being spilled into the air. The story was so hard to hear… and I would never be able to open my mouth about it. I can’t help but think of my mother and how I’ll never be able to tell her the gruesome truth.
Would she hate Danny? Or would she be able to accept it without placing blame? The thought of her blaming Danny makes me cringe.
I have to take this to the grave with me. She wouldn’t want to picture the horrid night of his death either way. It could very well kill her to picture such gruesome details about her son.
Danny put his whole career on the line for me. I demanded to know classified information and he gave it to me. He revealed information that was buried alongside Paul very much risking everything, possibly breaking laws. Being a Navy SEAL is who he is and I’ve accepted that since the day I met him. I’m no stranger to the military lifestyle and I understand how it works. Paul was just as passionate about his job.
His career is everything and if he truly wanted to he could’ve just stopped pursuing me. Or he could have been the monster that he thinks he is, and fucked me without ever calling again. He could’ve kept his secrets. But he’s crossing lines and breaking his own plans… for me.
This whole time Danny feels responsible for Paul dying and if that doesn’t show me how strong this man is, I don’t know what does. I don’t know how he stays strong but he does.
I calm myself down before I head back into his room. When I open the door, the lamp’s turned off and Danny lays with his arms crossed behind his head.
I walk towards him, relaxed. He’s staring at the ceiling, waiting for me. A part of me feels relieved from his confession.
Everything in our relationship feels like it’s going at warp speed with no slowing down in sight. I envision it’s only going to get faster when our baby is here. Only five more months and I’m giving birth to a baby whose gender’s still a mystery to both of us.
Danny lifts the blankets upwards for me and I blush when I realize he’s naked underneath the covers. All the muscles on his abs, contracting. I take off the shirt I’m wearing and it hits the floor. Instead, I reach for the baby doll lingerie I had packed earlier. I slip it on slowly as he watches me the entire time.
‘Are you trying to torture me?’
I laugh.
It’s a light, thin, velvet material that barely covers anything.
‘How am I torturing you?’
‘Because I want to tear that off and break you the way I’ve been wanting to since I’ve been back.’
I want that to.
I crawl into bed. I lay on my side and Danny pulls me in closer to him gently. His fingers circle my nipple on my breast. When I get closer to him, his scent fills my nose. Spice, wood, and his mouth-watering cologne but I can still smell a bar. Curiosity gnaws at me.
“Where were you tonight?” I ask.
“El Devine.”
I quirk a brow. The last time I was there I was with Emilia and Meredith having the time of my life. Not pregnant and drunk. The last time he was there, a beautiful perky blonde woman was savoring the taste of him on her lips.
“With another blonde on your arm?” I tease.
He groans and his muscles go rigid.
“Don’t question my loyalty to you. No one has ever come close to the woman that you are. I’m not a liar. I’ve always been honest with you. I’ve been brutally blunt with them every single girl before you, with what I want and who I am. I never promised them anything but Ari… I promise you, you won’t ever have to worry about me being faithful to you.”
A fire ignites inside my chest. When we first met that’s all I’ve been getting. Raw honesty. He means what he says.
“I was with Lopez and Kane.” His fingers trail from my breasts to my small bump and he palms it. ‘How’s my boy cooking in there?’ He whispers.
I smile with sparkles in my eyes.
‘It could be a girl, you know?’
He chuckles.
‘All my swimmers are future Navy SEAL men like me.’
I shake my head, rolling my eyes.
‘Or princesses. I have some pictures of the ultrasou—’ I cut myself off as the realization creeps into me and my heart sinks. The problem of Shane, still here. Shit. The past few days have been absolute insanity and I almost forgot that I have a psychotic ex-boyfriend who wants me dead.
My body stiffens and Danny notices.
‘What’s wrong Ari? Where are the pictures?”
Shit. I shouldn’t hide this any longer from him.
I breathe deeply, sighing.
‘It’s Shane.’ I can’t face Danny so I stay on my side staring at his nightstand in the darkness.
‘He’s been terrorizing me non-stop since he saw me with you at the coffee shop… when I came back home, he’s been breaking into my house and leaving me threatening messages…’
Danny freezes and my heart pounds in my chest.
‘What kind of messages?’ Danny growls enraged, his voice deeper than I’ve ever heard it before. I close my eyes shut.
‘Well one, and I don’t know how he knows this, but he knows you and I had sex. And he knows I’m pregnant. He found the pictures of my ultrasound from one of my doctors’ appointments and tore them. He also…’ I breathe unable to finish.
‘He what?’ He spits.
‘My hair’s short because he cut it off in my sleep. I woke up to locks of my hair falling out.’ I tremble.
Danny vanishes away from me so fast I can’t even blink. I turn on the light.
The lamp reveals Danny throwing on clothes. He starts with his boxers and then his jeans.
‘What are you doing? Where are you going?’
‘I’m going to fucking kill him.’
I shake my head, my eyes bulging.
‘No, Danny! The cops are already on it. I’ve reported it. The military police are already looking for him. He deserted the Marines and he’s been missing for some time now.’
‘He’s fucking with you.’ Danny snarls and it takes me back. I’m in shock, seeing him transform into a full-blown rage has my skin crawling.
‘I won’t let it happen again. The piece of shit took advantage of you knowing I wouldn’t be here to stop him.’
‘Big fucking mistake and this will be the last he’ll ever make.’
I shake my head. I have to stop him.
‘Danny no! You’re drunk! Stop it. Let the police take care of it, you’re not thinking straight.’
He turns around and starts walking towards the door ignoring me. It’s almost three in the morning and I don’t want Danny doing anything irrational.
‘Please…’ I beg.
‘Danny, stop, please.’ I grab his arm pulling him towards me. He’s infuriated, his light blue eyes are darkened and full of wrath. His blonde hair is shaggy and he’s lightly flushed with madness.
‘Don’t be like him.’ I try my hardest to convince him to not commit homicide tonight.
His face softens and his whole body relaxes. Danny clenches his jaw and the fire inside of him dies down, but not entirely. He finally gives in and starts stripping off his clothes. Holding my hand and leading me back to his bed.
