Meredith is driving me back home from Danny’s house. Emilia is in the backseat, texting back and forth with a wedding planner. I asked her to pick me up early in the morning before Danny woke up. I want to avoid him and an awkward goodbye. The worst part of the hurricane has passed so it was safer to drive out. The storm didn’t do too much damage as anticipated which was good. That means Danny can get on his flight and I can get back to my normal life as it was before I met him.
‘Damn, he lives all the way out here in the beautiful countryside?’ Meredith exclaims while looking around at the acres of land on each side of the road. There were ranches all around this area.
‘Please keep your eyes on the road. I don’t feel like dying today.’ I roll my eyes at her.
‘Okay, one rude. And two, it was one time, when are you going to let that go?’ Meredith says, shaking her head while her attention comes back to the road. She’s talking about the time when she swerved off the road, almost killing us, while staring at some shirtless guy jogging with his dog on the sidewalk.
‘Umm… never. We all have the one friend that drives us crazy… and that’s you.’ I say, swinging my face in her direction, dramatically. My eyes glared.
‘I feel like I’m a survivor every time I get out of the car with you.’ I joke, teasing her.
‘Ugh, I guess that’s fair.’
I nod while resting my head against the window.
‘So, are you gonna tell me what happened? You’re not going to give me the details on how a great mysterious Navy guy is keeping you safe and giving you shelter from the hurricane?’ Meredith winks, moving her eyebrows up and down.
I sigh, annoyed.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Cause.’
‘Cause why?’
‘Because… Meredith. We didn’t have sex.’
‘What?’ Meredith and Emilia shout baffled simultaneously, her voice high-pitched.
‘Yeah, we didn’t. And I really don’t want to talk about it. All I will say is… or rather ask you is…’ I bite my lip wondering if I should talk to her about this part of my life. We do tell each other basically everything so why not.
‘Spit it out,’ Meredith says, tilting her head forward down.
‘Do I come off as a romantic? Can you tell I fall under the category of a relationship type of girl… in the first impression?’ I ask, unsure of wanting to know the answer.
‘Hah. Definitely a relationship type of girl. You fall hard and easily. You are a fairytale, rainbows, and butterflies, always believing that there’s good in every single person you meet, type of girl.’
I look at her with my mouth dropped open. I didn’t expect her to come back with that answer. Her comments are harsh.
‘Geez, I think a simple yes would have sufficed.’ I shake my head. How long has she been holding onto that one?
‘Look Ari… you don’t know the man. We know how religious your family is. Your mother’s always reminding you to save yourself for marriage.’ Emilia throws imaginary air quotes.
‘You’re right… I’m not even sure how my mom pushed me to leave with him yesterday. She’s usually so strict and judgmental so yesterday was a shock that she let me leave with him. I don’t know him but I’m tired of being scared. It feels… different with Danny.’ I concede. ‘But I won’t be seeing him anymore.’
‘Ok… bullet dodged, let’s move on. I don’t want to hear a story about how you almost lost your virginity. Let’s start planning our next night out please.’
Meredith rolls her eyes and raises the volume in her car. She’s blasting Taylor Swift music. I’m a hopeless romantic but she’s the one blasting, her catchy love songs. I look back at Emilia and she shrugs, shaking her head at Meredith’s blunt behavior.
I look outside the window pondering about Danny. The weather is still windy and rainy, with dark gray clouds even though it’s early in the morning and the sun should have been out. Humidity is higher than usual.
Meredith’s words linger in my head.
‘Hah. Definitely a relationship type of girl.’
I bite my lip as I feel my body on fire. Fire out of rage and hurt. Why does everyone make me feel bad for wanting to believe that everyone is good? In a world full of pain and unforgiving people, I want to be a part of the good. I truly believe you can make a huge impact on someone’s life just by smiling at them. But the constant criticism from my best friend and then from Danny. I feel belittled. I appreciate and respect Meredith’s opinions but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt to hear it.
At this moment… something washes over and I decided to challenge myself. No longer am I going to feel belittled because I fall in love so fast? Maybe I won’t be a ‘relationship type of girl’ anymore. Maybe… I’m going to let myself indulge in my emotions more and speak my mind, loud and clear.
