It’s my last night of fun before I have to leave to start my job as a nurse. My travel fare is entirely paid for and a little barracks-esque room waits for me for the next six months. A few days have passed, and the town is recovering well after the impact of the hurricane. Luckily, the hurricane didn’t cause too much damage in our area compared to the beach towns. Meredith has dragged us all out to the same bar on a Friday night, with our other friend Emilia and I’m not feeling up to it. Stress is overtaking my life. This is going to be my first time on a contract, and I just dove straight into the deep end of the pool choosing a military hospital in Iraq. I’m questioning myself repeatedly since then.
Why did I sign up to do this as my first experience on the job?
Then I remember, it’s silly to question myself when my brothers’ death is the reason for it all. I want to help men and women like him so I’m letting go of my doubt and giving it to God.
Give it to God and get wasted.
It’s a short contract anyways. Only six months and then I’ll return back to North Carolina. I haven’t talked to Danny since his tongue was inside of me on his couch in the middle of a hurricane. He hasn’t reached out and I imagine he’s already across the world by now. It’s been about a week since then.
Why would he reach out anyways?
He’s in special operations. Men like him and my brother were literally always gone. It was like I blinked and then they weren’t there anymore. My brother was never home. And if he was home it was only for a little while and then he was somewhere doing something and he couldn’t tell us a thing about it. His job was so secretive, and it sucked because I would have loved to know his stories. Things that he had experienced in different countries. Now that he’s dead, I don’t think I’ll ever get to hear them.
It’s getting close to one in the morning and the girls and I are dancing the night away. I’m sweating, and I can feel my eyes getting tired. I’m definitely buzzed but I want to keep drinking.
Meredith and Emilia follow me toward the bar. The music is so loud I can barely hear myself think. Country pop music is blasting and I’m growing tired of the same songs. Emilia is the sober one out of us three and our designated driver. I had spent the entire day before, studying trauma, so I can be prepared for the first day on the job.
I’m worried about leaving my mom. This is going to be her first time without both of her children close to her… but I know she’s going to be okay. She’s returned to the church more routinely since my brother’s passing and made new church friends. So, she has a close group of friends that can distract her from my absence.
‘Bitch, stop being so sad, you’re killing our vibe.’ Meredith snaps, waving over the bartender, Gabriel. She’s trying to get his attention while my mouth hangs open. She has always been so blunt and has no filter.
Meredith has grown close to Gabriel due to her constant trips to El Devine over the past year.
‘I’m sorry, I’ve just got a lot on my mind.’ I snap back at her, leaning on the counter of the bar. I’m so easy to read and I hate that about my face.
‘I can’t believe you’re leaving so soon and suddenly,’ Emilia whines behind me as she pushes her light brown hair away from her sweaty forehead with the palm of her hand.
‘I know… I’m excited though. Nervous… but excited. I’ve worked so hard for this moment and it’s so close.’ I say whiffing air against my neck hoping it would ease the heat and cool me down. I’m wearing an all-black blouse and jeans with my cowboy boots on.
‘Paul would be so proud of you!’ Meredith shouts in my ear. The music is so loud she thinks screaming in my ear is going to help her. I palm my ears, glaring at her.
‘I can hear you fine! No need to yell at me!’ I shout back. Meredith breaks out in giggles and I know the alcohol has taken over her. She ignores my evil eyes, and I can tell something has captured her attention. She looks behind me, her eyes widening with a smile tugging at her pink lips.
“That’s him.’ Meredith nods her head at Emilia, motioning behind me, down the counter.
‘Just don’t turn around,’ Meredith orders me. She leans in and continues to whisper in Emilia’s ear covering her mouth to Emilia’s head.
‘What? Who?’ I ask, looking at Meredith and then at Emilia.
‘Oh my gosh you mean, Navy dude?’ Emilia squeals, looking behind me, her pale cheeks blushing a rosy shade.
‘Hush!’ Meredith corrects her while nudging her into her ribs, with her elbow.
Shit… do they mean, who I think they mean?
My body stiffens. Panic ensues every nerve inside of me. I mouth to Meredith.
‘Danny?’
Meredith nods and my heart skips a beat. I try to keep it cool and move my body slowly, turning behind me. I want to confirm it with my own eyes. I turn around slowly, rocking my head to the tune of the music, trying to be less conspicuous.
Sure enough there he is. No wonder it’s so hot in here, the devil is sitting two chairs down.
There’s one man in between us, an older man with gray hair who’s paying no attention to his surroundings but only to his phone.
Danny’s sitting down with a glass of what looks like whiskey in his hand. He’s twirling the glass of alcohol in his hand, lost in thought and for the first time since seeing him last, he’s the one that looks sad this time. Still, he looks gorgeous as ever dressed so simply. He’s wearing a black sweatshirt, a baseball cap, and what looks like his dog tags under his shirt. Heat encapsulates me and rushes in between my legs. It should be a crime for Danny to look so undeniably handsome. Even his side profile causes me to lose my morals and it isn’t fair.
Already turning my head, something catches my eye and I stop midway before I go back to shooting glares at Meredith. A beautiful perky blonde woman, wearing a very revealing dress that barely covers anything, sits next to Danny on the right side of him. Her beach-wavy hair jumps up and falls over her shoulders as she sits down, giving Danny a kiss on the cheek and stroking his arm, massaging him.
I knew it. He has a girlfriend. It explains why he got so weird after putting his mouth in between my legs.
I turn back around to face Meredith and Emilia. They both are analyzing what just happened and empathy is written all over their faces. They both frown and Emilia touches my shoulder, reassuring me.
‘I’m fine. Honestly, it’s whatever, I had a feeling something was up.’ I shrug. But it was a lie. It wasn’t fine. This man had his teeth on my nipples just a few days ago and now he’s sitting next to his girlfriend as it appears. He’s a fucking slime bag. My body grows cold, the heat subsiding and vanishing as quickly as it appeared. All I wanted to do is go back to the dance floor and not let my last night with my friends go to waste.
Gabriel finally approaches us taking our requests for new drinks. Meredith orders more tequila shots and I had already taken about three sangrias before this, so I passed on ordering more drinks, settling for one of the shots.
‘Alright, I gotcha ladies.’ Gabriel winks at Meredith.
‘Gabe! I need another drink here for the lady.’ A deep voice roars over the music and I’ve come to know that voice all too well. Danny calls over to Gabriel and I watch him realize who Gabriel’s talking to. At first, Danny looks shocked to see me but then his expression disappears in a flash, replaced with a wicked smirk.
Gabriel has his palms, supporting himself up with the counter, and looks over to Danny and the girl next to him.
‘And what would the lady like?’ Gabriel asks nonchalantly.
Danny then grins at me and that grin looks so new to me, there’s something so sinful about his smile. He’s never looked at me like that before and it takes me back, uncomfortably.
Was he drunk?
‘A sangria.’ He calls over to Gabriel, his blue eyes never leaving mine and I know he did this to be spiteful.
I mouth the word, asshole, to him hoping he gets it through his mind I’m catching onto his antagonization. He knows that’s my favorite type of drink and now he’s ordering it for ‘the lady’. His grin widens even more when he sees my eyes glare at him. He looks unashamed knowing I’m seeing him now with a different woman on his arm. Literally. The results prevail: he’s another slimy military guy.
‘You got it, Danny!’ Gabe responds.
‘Wait you know him personally?’ Meredith asks Gabriel while tugging on his sleeve, stopping him from leaving.
‘Yeah, that’s Danny Rider. He’s a good friend of mine. We served together. I’m out of the Navy now but we still keep in touch. There’s not a thing I wouldn’t do for the man. He saved my life multiple times in Afghanistan.” Gabe says, his words rushing out of his mouth, hurrying to go get all of our drinks done. Gabriel whips around and starts on all the orders.
I turn towards Meredith and Emilia.
‘Do you want to leave?’ Emilia asks.
I hesitate. I just found out that Danny had a girlfriend this entire time and the proof was sitting two chairs down.
But most of all, why was he being so weird and rude towards me? I don’t understand why he’s trying to get under my skin.
Shouldn’t he be apologetic and not trying to get under my skin like I did something to deserve it?
I’m sorry I ate you out on my couch while I’m taken by someone else. Would be a good start. All those lies he spewed about not being a relationship type of guy upsets me.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t care and for some odd reason I did. I’m so fucking naive. I always fall in love quickly and believe every single man I meet is honest and won’t hurt me. You would think I learned my lesson with Shane, but I’m a stupid girl. A stupid ‘relationship’ ‘sheltered’ girl. I contemplate leaving and I would usually agree in this situation that it’s best for me to go and just end the night on some ice cream and Parks and Recreation. But I’m trying to start over and become a new version of myself. A version of myself that stops letting others affect me so much.
‘Fuck no,’ I reach out for the tequila shots next to me and grab one. Gabriel was fast with our order but now he’s attending to Danny, both of them laughing about something I can’t hear.
‘Salud,’ I shout at Meredith and Emilia raising my glass in the air, then downing the burning liquid. Meredith and Emilia just stare at me bewildered but I don’t care. I wince as it burns down my throat and I let out a sigh to catch my breath. I slam the glass down on the counter and I grab Emilia and Meredith by the hands, pulling them towards the dance floor.
‘Are you sure you’re, okay?’ Meredith asks, studying me.
‘I’m fine,’ I say, annoyed. Meredith and Emilia both look at each other and shrug before finally joining me and we start dancing the night away again. My vision’s starting to blur and spin but I don’t care. It feels good to finally let myself indulge in some drinks, let loose and get drunk with my girls and not cower away from a man that intimidates me with only his presence.
