“Faith—” Ethan spoke, reaching out to her.
She shook her head. “Don’t say anything, okay?” She didn’t want him to speak and ruin what had been the most intense experience of her life. She’d have plenty of time to mull things over and ruin it for herself later.
Still naked, she turned around and met his gaze. His eyes didn’t hold any more life than they had earlier, but she’d briefly taken away his pain, even if it had returned now.
Faith had no regrets. She did, however, have plenty of reasons why she now knew to stay away from this man, the feelings he engendered inside her, and the choices he compelled her to make.
“I should go before Tess wakes up and realizes I’m here.”
He nodded, not arguing. “I’ll walk you out.” He bent down and picked up her clothes, handing them to her.
She deliberately kept her concentration on putting one leg at a time into her sweats and not on his magnificent body as they dressed in silence, neither saying a word.
He wasn’t pushing her, choosing instead to withdraw into himself. She understood. After the confrontation with his brothers, he’d obviously decided he had enough going on in his life without adding her to the mix. She could definitely say the same.
She was glad she’d come to him and given them this one more night because there wouldn’t be another. They walked downstairs, tiptoeing past Tess’s bedroom. Funny, but already she thought of this as Ethan’s house, no longer associating her old memories with these new ones.
They reached the front door and she turned. “I need to get into the house tomorrow or the next day with Nick. He needs to firm up some more measurements.”
“Rosalita’s always here. Feel free to come by.” He paused, a frown wrinkling his forehead. “How did you get here anyway?” he asked.
“Oh, that’s news. I bought myself a car,” she said, knowing she sounded ridiculously pleased by such a normal act. “I decided I was finished relying on others to get where I needed to go.” A sentiment she needed to apply to all aspects of her life from now on.
“Good for you.” For the first time all night, his lips curved into a smile.
She couldn’t contain a grin in return. “Don’t torture yourself, okay?” The words slipped out before she could stop them.
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, back to giving orders.
Unwilling to make promises she couldn’t keep, she merely said, “Good night, Ethan.”
“Night, princess.”
She stepped into the humid darkness and headed for the car. And though he didn’t shut the front door, keeping an eye out until he heard the beep of her car doors unlocking, the slam still reverberated in her ears. Because he’d shut her out as thoroughly as she knew she needed to close the door on her relationship with him.
The drive home was short, but her mind was finally churning with the thoughts she’d been holding for when she was alone. She pulled into the parking lot behind her apartment and rested her head on the steering wheel, mind reeling with how overpowering Ethan Barron was.
The men she’d dated and later the one she’d married had been oh-so-respectful in bed. Too respectful, never leaving her completely satisfied, yet she hadn’t asked for or expected more. Despite that lack, she’d still turned herself inside out to make her husband happy. She’d buried her needs in favor of being the perfect lawyer’s wife and companion, and on walking away, she’d promised herself that she’d never lose herself in a man ever again.
Then came Ethan.
She’d always been drawn to his hard edges and the bad boy inside him. But she understood on a fundamental level that her feelings for him threatened the identity she was trying to build and the independence she needed. She’d promised herself she’d steer clear, and yet at the first sign that he needed her she’d put her needs aside and gone to him.
He’d taken her, dominated her, and in doing so, he’d fulfilled a fantasy, one she’d never admit to a living, breathing soul. But she’d learned how easily she could submit to a strong, powerful man like Ethan. Though he and her ex-husband couldn’t be more different, Faith realized now that Ethan posed that same risk—and she refused to lose her identity to another man.
Even one she was drawn to like no other.
After a sleepless night, Ethan woke up to face certain facts. Last night he’d let his brothers vent their anger, and though the fallout had devastated him, he had no choice but to deal. But he’d had no right to inflict his pain on Faith. It didn’t matter that she’d come to him, cornering him when he’d have preferred to have been alone. Well, that was a lie. Being with her had been just fine, as long as it had been on his terms.
He’d used her to obliterate his feelings and she’d let him, which only made him feel worse. That they were both adults and he’d warned her about his mood wouldn’t make facing her any easier. But she’d been there for him in a way no one ever had. Not his parents, not his brothers, not even his army buddies had pushed past one of his black moods or self-destructive bents, and last night he’d been on a big one.
He hadn’t thought anyone could pull him out of it, but he had to admit, looking at things in the light of day, she’d gotten to him. And now she probably, rightfully, hated him. Since, at the moment, there was nothing he could do to fix things with her or his brothers, he turned his attention to the youngest family member.
He showered, dressed, and headed downstairs where he found Tess eating cereal out of the box in the kitchen, her concentration on her sketch pad.
As soon as she saw him, she hugged the pad to her chest, hiding her work from view. He didn’t push, understanding they hadn’t reached any level of trust just yet. But he was curious and knew she’d reveal her work when she was ready.
“Come on,” he said to her. “You can bring the box in the car.”
She glanced up from her Lucky Charms. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He took a look at her usual dark, heavy clothing, noted it was already ninety degrees out, and paused. “How about you leave the jacket home? It’s hot as hell out there.”
She raised a pierced eyebrow at him. “Where are we going?” she asked again.
Give and take, he thought. “Okay, you don’t like surprises. We’re going television shopping. We’re also buying an Xbox.”
“Nice!” she said before she caught herself and schooled her face back into an uncaring facade. “I’d rather have a Wii,” she muttered.
Interesting. Whether she was being obstinate or not, he saw a chance here. “Take off the jacket and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
She stared at him as if assessing his sincerity and his sanity. Finally, she shrugged and let the too-big jacket slip off her shoulders. Beneath it she wore dark khaki cargo pants and a black T-shirt. She looked about to drop the jacket on the floor, thought the better of it, and hung it over the back of a chair.
Progress, he thought, but understood if he made a big deal of her removing the jacket, he’d lose what little ground he’d gained. So he merely nodded and walked toward the garage, knowing she’d follow.
Twenty minutes later, they reached the Target he’d visited with Faith a few weeks ago. He parked the Navigator he’d driven instead of the Jag and walked into the store, Tess by his side.
“Grab a cart,” he said to her.
For once, she did as he was told. “So why are you so interested in televisions all of a sudden?” Tess asked.
Because he’d been up all night tossing and turning, fighting the urge to run and make all his problems go away.
When he was younger, he’d lost himself in gaming systems, shutting out his mother’s crying or his parents’ fighting with the bright lights and sounds. He hadn’t thought about how they could afford those items then. Looking back now, he realized his father had brought them home something from every trip he’d taken. A way to assuage his guilt, Ethan realized now, since he was probably spending his time away with Tess’s mother.
So Ethan had the first Nintendo and the first Sony Play-Station on the market and he would play for hours, his mind always seeming to be light-years ahead of what he saw on the screen. As he got older, running with the wrong crowd had been a bigger draw, a way to catch his father’s attention at first. Later on, the troublemaking aspect of his personality had just been stronger than the computer geek.
As an adult, he had better control of his impulses, mostly thanks to army training, and he knew he had to find something to lose himself in when the urge to escape became strong, like now.
He also needed to find common ground with Tess.
“Hey, I asked you a question!” Tess snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Where’d you go?”
He surprised himself by laughing. “Just lost in thought. The reason we’re here is because of you.”
“Huh?” She wrinkled her nose at him.
“I saw you watching TV at Faith’s last night. I figured you’d like to have one in the house. Plus, since I moved in, I haven’t had a chance to make the house a home. I know Faith’s working on that, but I didn’t want to wait for all her furniture orders to come in before we started enjoying the place.” Not to mention he had to make the house more than just a prison for Tess if he wanted her to stay put. “You like TV, right?”
She nodded. “I guess I wouldn’t mind being able to watch.”
Yeah, right. Her eyes were wide as she took in the big screens surrounding them. She was practically salivating at the thought.
“How come you want Xbox? I thought you were an adult.” She said the word adult like she thought he was no better than the devil himself.
At least she was keeping up the questions and not shutting down, talking and not cursing at him.
“Grown-ups can like video games. That’s how I got into what I do for a living.” He went on to explain to her about his job and how becoming a pro at computer simulation enabled him to build a future, when in reality, he should have had none.
To his surprise, she seemed to be paying attention.
“You’re saying you’ll play those games with me?” she asked, hopefully.
He brought the cart to a stop. “I’m saying I’ll beat you at whatever game you choose.” He winked at her and turned his attention to a huge flat-screen TV. “How about this one?” He looked to her for approval.
She shifted from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable. “It’s not up to me. It’s not my house.”
“What if I said it was? Do you like that little thirteen-inch? Or would you prefer this bad boy?” He wanted her to feel important, in control.
She folded her arms around herself, forming a cocoon without the help of her jacket. “I don’t give a shit.”
“And I don’t believe you.” Obviously she didn’t understand that he really wanted to include her in the decision, that his house was her house, her home. “Okay, fine. If you’re going to be a brat about it, I’ll decide. I want this big one.” He made a mental note of the make and model so he could ask a salesperson to get it for them later.
Without another word, he strode down the aisle, headed for the gaming stations at the far end. He found the Xbox 360 Live first and placed the console in the cart. Then he began searching for the Wii.
“What are you looking for?” Tess asked, cautiously.
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. The poor kid was torn between hope and fear, wanting to be excited yet afraid to express herself at all.
“I’m looking for the Wii. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
She continued to brace her arms around her thin body. “You’re still gonna get it for me?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yeah.”
“Why? I was just a brat, like you said.” She sounded defensive, but her body language said she felt more defeated than angry.
He swallowed hard, uncomfortable, not knowing the right thing to do to reach her and make her trust. “Because we made a deal and you held up your end.” He met her gaze, deliberately holding it, wanting her to see and hear the promise he was about to make. “I promised you a Wii, and I’m a man of my word. If I tell you I’m going to do something, you can believe it.”
He was referring to more than the Wii. Would she believe him? Or had past experience taught her not to trust the adults in her life? He didn’t know enough about her past to judge.
“Are we cool?” he asked her.
“Nobody says ‘cool,’ ” she muttered, but the edges of her lips turned upward in a grin. “Yeah, we’re cool.”
He resisted the urge to hug her, knowing he’d made enough progress for one day.
They found the Wii selection a little farther down the aisle from the televisions. There were white consoles, black consoles, ones bundled with sports software, exercise software, and Super Mario Bros. Eventually they agreed on the black—of course—and the Guitar Hero bundle. Then Ethan spoke to the nearest sales associate and asked for the television he wanted. The man offered to have it delivered, but Ethan wanted to take all of his purchases home with him instead.
The house was already wired for cable and satellite, and he wanted everything set up today. He’d gotten the name of an electronics guy from Nick, who was grudgingly doing the work around his house at Faith’s urging. Ethan had already called the man first thing this morning, and he’d agreed to meet him back at the house later this afternoon to set up whatever items Ethan purchased.
Together he and Tess made their way to the register.
“Ethan?” she asked, as he put the systems on the conveyor belt.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks,” she said, unable to meet his gaze.
He grinned. It was enough that she was polite and as happy as he’d seen her ever get. “You’re welcome.”
They picked up sandwiches, soda, and chips on the way home, and by 4:00 P.M., Ethan and Tess had their family room set up with the biggest, baddest television in Serendipity, complete with two state-of-the-art gaming systems.
And for a while, they were both able to forget their problems and find peace.
Faith spent the day pulling in favors, getting earlier-than-expected delivery dates set for Ethan’s furniture and arranging for the painter and paper hanger to get to work. First thing next week, the old wallpaper would come down and Faith’s vision for the house would begin, starting with fresh paint and new paper.
Faith had arranged to meet Nick at Ethan’s house at four o’clock and she was running late. April had begged Faith to meet her at Faith’s apartment so she could show her new designs and pick up some things.
April unveiled the newest pieces she’d made using parts of Faith’s couture items and vintage pieces of her own.
“These are incredible,” Faith said, fingering delicate lace and rough denim that somehow came together to make the most amazing-looking jacket.
Today April’s hair was a deeper red, almost burgundy, and still she looked put together and bright. “Thank you.” April grinned. “Pretty darn good if I do say so myself, right?”
In her arms, her Yorkie let out a yip of agreement.
Faith petted the little guy’s head.
“You said you have more clothing I can use, right? Things you won’t be wearing anymore?” April asked.
“See for yourself.” Faith gestured toward the big boxes stuffed in a corner behind the couch. “Take whatever you want.”
April’s eyes warmed. “Thank you so much. I had an offer from a boutique store in SoHo. They want to take my pieces from this collection on consignment.”
“It’s the opportunity of a lifetime!” Faith said. “You should definitely go for it.”
April eased herself onto the arm of the couch and curled her puppy into her arms, making herself at home. That was the thing Faith loved most about Nick’s sister—her ability to just be.
Faith admired the other woman’s self-confidence and hoped she was finally building some of her own.
“I have a proposal for you. Since the designs came from your clothes, I figure you should get a cut of the commission on whatever sells.”
Faith shook her head. She couldn’t possibly have anything to do with April’s success. “Oh, no. They’re your designs, your talent.”
“And I intend to take credit, believe me. I have too much of an ego not to.” April laughed. “But I couldn’t afford to buy clothes like these and that’s half the reason these particular items are coming out so well, why an upscale store wants to carry them. You’d be my silent partner. Come on, what do you say?” She deliberately nudged Faith in the arm with her elbow.
Faith remained silent, unsure. She understood the logic of what April was suggesting. After all, hadn’t Faith brought the items to April’s consignment store to make money? Just because she’d never expected the design element to come into play didn’t mean she couldn’t benefit from April’s talent now.
“Did I mention you’ve been my inspiration on these designs?” April asked, before Faith could tell her she agreed.
“Inspiration?” Faith asked, confused.
April nodded, petting the Yorkie as she spoke. “Designs for the Independent Woman. That’s what I call this collection. And you’re that independent woman!”
“I’m stunned. And honored.”
“And my silent partner?” April asked.
“Yes. Yes!” Faith nodded. “Thank you.” It was all she could manage.
April pulled her into a hug. Warmth was something the talented redhead gave easily.
Independent, Faith thought wryly. It was ironic, considering she’d just abandoned a promise to focus on herself in order to give Ethan what he needed last night. And that urge to be with him, be there for him, hadn’t dissipated. She still wanted him when she knew for certain that wasn’t what was best for her. For her future.
She forced herself to look at April. “Listen, I need to get going. I’m late for a meeting, but feel free to stick around and go through those boxes, okay?”
“Thanks, I will.”
Faith gathered her papers, samples, and measurements for Nick and grabbed her car keys just as her phone rang. “Damn.” She’d never get out of here.
“Want me to get it?” April offered. She’d just bent down to open the first box.
“No, the machine can pick it up.” But Faith waited to hear if it was anything important before heading out.
“Faith? It’s your mother.” Lanie’s voice sounded shrill through the machine.
April shot her an I pity you look.
“How many years do you want to take off of my life?” Her mother continued. “First, I find you at Target with that man, then you open a shop in town, and now you’re working for Caroline Bretton? You’re a Harrington! We hire, we don’t—” Thankfully the answering machine let out a long beep and cut her mother off before she could go on berating her.
As if I’m sixteen again, Faith thought, and shook her head.
“See you soon!” Faith called to April and headed out before the other woman could open a conversation about Faith’s mother.
Outside and alone, Faith decided it was time to deal with her own demons. She opened her cell and dialed her mother, who answered on the first ring.
“Hello, Mother.”
“Faith!”
“I’m in a rush, so I only have a minute.” Unwilling to be subjected to a lecture by a woman who’d yet to accept the fact that she was not, and had never been, in a position to judge others, Faith spoke quickly. Before her mother could. “Since I can’t talk now, come by my shop tomorrow morning at ten. Thanks, Mom. Have to run. I have an appointment with Ethan Barron. Bye,” she said, and clicked off, the little devil on her shoulder compelling her to torture her mother a bit in return.
Tomorrow was soon enough to begin dealing with her own family drama. Right now she was headed to Ethan’s, where she was certain another kind of drama awaited her.
Rosalita answered the door to Ethan’s house. An eerie feeling of déjà vu settled over her, but she reminded herself this was the bright light of day and she was here to meet Nick on business, not Ethan.
“Is Nick here yet?” Faith asked Rosalita.
“No, he called and said to tell you he can’t make it. He’s busy on another project,” Rosalita said.
Faith frowned. “Why didn’t he call me before I came here?”
“No sé.”
Swell, Faith thought.
“Come in anyway. You look skinny. I give you a piece of cake I just finished making.” Rosalita placed her firm arm around Faith’s shoulders, reminding her of when she’d come home from school and the older woman would lead her to the kitchen for milk and cookies.
Faith smiled at the memory. “Thanks, but it’s not my house anymore, remember? I can’t just come to your kitchen for meals and snacks.”
“Bah.” Rosalita waved away that notion. “You said it yourself. My kitchen. You eat.”
Maybe she would gauge the lay of the land first. “Is Tess here?” Faith wanted to see how the teenager was doing.
“She in the den with Mr. Ethan. They playing.”
“Playing?” She had to have heard wrong.
“Sí. Come.”
Faith followed Rosalita to the large den in the back of the house. The closer she got, the louder the rock music sounded. Hard rock and guitar sounds.
Faith paused in the entry to the room, stunned to see Ethan and Tess standing in front of a huge flat-screen TV that would wreak havoc with her plans for this room. Ethan held an electric guitar in his hands, playing to the music and beats on the screen, Tess shouting distracting words at him trying to get him to mess up. Apparently they had some kind of competition going.
Faith wasn’t sure if she was more shocked by their interaction, the fact that they were having fun, or that both Ethan and Tess were smiling and laughing. For real. The sound came from the depths of their being and they were enjoying themselves and each other. Faith’s heart soared at the sight. She realized Rosalita had quietly slipped away, leaving her alone to watch.
Faith couldn’t tear her gaze away.
The teenager wasn’t wearing her army jacket. Instead, her thin arms stood out beneath her short sleeves and cargo pants. She hopped up and down, more animated and excited than Faith had ever seen her. The transformation permeated Tess both inside and out. She glowed, her eyes sparkling with delight, and a lump settled in Faith’s throat at the amazing change.
Like his sister, Ethan looked different too. His careful control had been stripped away, revealing a younger-looking man, more impossibly handsome and carefree in a way he’d obviously never been. If she’d been drawn to his darker intensity before, his charm and magnetism were impossible to resist now.
Both were so engrossed in the game, neither noticed her. When the song finally ended, Faith couldn’t stop herself. She clapped her hands, applauding his efforts.
Both Ethan and Tess turned her way.
“Faith!” Tess acknowledged her first, excitement in her flushed cheeks, her guard completely down. “Want to play? I’ve been kicking Ethan’s butt!”
Ethan’s dark gaze met Faith’s. “I just showed you up, Twerp,” he said to Tess, but he never broke eye contact with Faith.
“Ha! That’s because I haven’t taken my next turn yet. Hand over the guitar and I’ll show you both what I can do.”
Ethan handed the guitar over and Tess grabbed the instrument and swung the strap over her head and shoulder.
“If I win this round, you have to take me to the beach tomorrow,” Tess said.
Ethan narrowed his gaze. “And if I win this round, you have to ditch the heavy dark clothes and let Faith take you shopping.”
He met Faith’s gaze and she gave him an imperceptible nod. Of course she’d take the teenager shopping. She didn’t blame him for offering up her services. Who else could he ask?
Tess stopped her fidgeting and paused, obviously thinking over his end of the deal.
No way will she agree, Faith thought.
A mischievous smile lifted the corners of Tess’s mouth. “You’re on,” she said at last.
Faith swallowed hard. Something was going on here, some major change between these two she didn’t understand or fathom.
“Ready?” Tess asked.
“Do me a favor and practice, okay? I need to talk to Faith for a few minutes. I’ll be right back and the competition is on.”
As soon as Tess nodded and started the music, Ethan grabbed Faith’s hand and pulled her toward his office, not giving her the chance to think or argue.
