‘Flo, you coming?’ Benji asks, stopping on his way out of the classroom. It’s Monday and most of the students have already left for lunch. I was about to reach for my current read.
‘Yeah, flower girl. Quit letting us wait!’ Jamie says from somewhere outside the room.
‘What are you talking about?’ I ask, genuinely confused.
‘Lunch, Lorence. Ever heard of it? You’re coming with us,’ Orion adds helpfully.
‘I am?’ When blondie just arches an eyebrow, my brain finally catches up and I scramble out of my seat. I have nothing better to do so why not grab a bite?
In my hurry, I manage to hit my knee on a chair, causing me to stumble a few feet away from Orion. He’s obviously amused but not in a mean way. At least I made Elsa smile.
Oh my god, did I just come up with the perfect nickname for Orion? Hair color, check. Cold attitude, check. I’ve never felt smarter.
‘What are you grinning about?’ Orion asks suspiciously.
‘I just found the perfect nickname for you,’ I tell him sweetly as I walk out of the classroom with him on my trail. On my way, I lock eyes with Elija for a beat. He smiles but I avert my eyes too quickly to return it. Don’t blame me for not knowing how to act towards a guy I kind of like but kind of don’t know but that has also kind of held me through the night after helping me deal with a panic attack.
‘What’s that?’ Orion asks.
‘Elsa!’ I announce proudly. Jamie bursts out laughing and throws an arm around my shoulders as the group walks through the halls of the academy. Orion simply mutters something behind my back but I’m not about to worry about it.
The guys and I ended up getting Chinese takeaway and settled in the grass of the academy’s campus park. I love our school’s premises. They’re stupidly enormous but most of the space is taken up by the park. There are a few trees to sit beneath in summer and otherwise just a lot of mowed grass. All of that is surrounded by the beige buildings our classes are being held.
The more time that passes, the more relaxed I become. Even whatever awkwardness I felt towards a certain black-haired guy has vanished by the time Jamie finally manages to flip his chopsticks with his elbow.
Don’t ask. All you need to know is that Benji challenged him and Jamie spent a lot of time trying to finish his task rather than accept defeat.
Surprisingly, Liam hasn’t made a single inappropriate or rude comment. Nor has he mentioned a certain girl that used to go out with Elija.
I suspect Jamie has talked to him. Whatever the cause of Liam’s change in behavior, I appreciate it. He even told me he liked my shoes.
My heart swelled a bit at the compliment. It has nothing to do with who said it, but with the fact that I spend a lot of time picking out outfits. Therefore, whenever someone notices it or says something positive it makes my day.
Our break is over way too quickly and I’m soon back in the stuffy classroom, daydreaming about the park outside and the ways I’ll spend my last day home alone.
–
‘Florence, we’re home. Help your mother with her bags, please.’ That’s the greeting I get from my father after ten days of not seeing or hearing from him. I shouldn’t have expected anything else but the bitter taste of rejection settles in my throat like a lump of cotton.
Nevertheless, I get up from my bed and go to help my mother.
‘Hey honey, take these for me, will you? Thank you,’ she says while shoving all sorts of things into my hands. Only when I’m barely able to see past the bags stacked on my arms does she lead me back towards the house. Mind you, all she’s carrying is her purse.
Whatever, I tell myself. They had a long trip home and must be exhausted. The thought makes me feel a little better the way every excuse I’ve ever made up for them has. I’m not the problem, they just had a rough day at work. Or it’s not my fault, they just didn’t get much sleep.
I set everything down as soon as I’m through the door, unable to hold the weight any longer. My mother makes a sound behind me, reminding me uncomfortably of Ms. Umbridge from Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix.
‘I guess they’re fine here,’ she says before looking over me once. ‘Have you been eating enough, sweetie? You’re starting to look a little boney.’ Pressing my lips together is all I can do not to stare at the woman open-mouthed.
I’m hurt more than I am surprised. There’s never been a time when my mother didn’t comment on my appearance. It was either ‘Florence, sweetie, are you sure you want another plate?’ or ‘Honey, we’re no longer in the nineties. We don’t need to be able to count your bones from afar.’
Whatever, I repeat to myself. She just wants me to be healthy.
I have my smile back in place in no time. ‘I missed you guys. Do you want to get dinner at that Italian place you like so much?’ I ask my parents when my dad’s in the corridor with us. It’s eight pm and I’m starving but I wanted to wait for them so we could eat together again. My parents have this obsession with having dinner together. They say families share meals but since they work all day, dinner is all we get. Besides, I’m sick of eating whatever snack I can find alone at that big dinner table of ours. Why we have it? No idea. It’s always just the three of us.
I snap out of my thoughts and take in the way my dad keeps an appropriate distance from my mom like he always does. Their postures are both straight to the tee and they smile pleasantly. It might not be a warm family reunion but at least it’s familiar.
‘I’m sorry honey but we grabbed a bite at the airport,’ my mom tells me, her smile turning sympathetic.
‘I’ll call the restaurant to get us a table for tomorrow,’ my dad promises.
‘Right. Of course.’ I try to shoo the oncoming feeling of rejection away by telling myself that it’s late and traveling makes hungry.
I tell them a quick excuse and head to my room before my smile falls. Just when the door is shut firmly behind me and the lights in my room are off do I let the first tear fall. I curl in on myself on my bed, trying to be quiet as I cry.
