Before our group’s hideout comes into view, a foreign voice makes me stop in my tracks. It’s a female voice which was the last thing I expected to hear.
After convincing myself I was fine and taking some time to collect myself, I decided to stop wallowing in self-pity and pick Jamie up on his offer. I also felt like I owed him an apology for my rude behavior earlier. It was unlike myself and he didn’t deserve that. Besides, I kind of wanted to check up on Elija, make sure I didn’t make him uncomfortable or anything, and see if we were okay.
Now here I am, spying past a tree to see who’s at our place. After all, we did choose it to be away from others right? Not that I mind hanging out with strangers but the guys said it was for Marcus’ sake. I hope no one followed them here. Marcus would probably be upset and I’m sure no one wants to look for a new spot to hang out the last two nights. Not with Liam.
What I didn’t expect to see was the guys hanging out with a girl I’ve never seen before while Elija sits apart from them, laughing with another girl. I hate the way my stomach tightens uncomfortably. I have no right to feel jealous. Elija is my friend so I should be happy to see him have fun, even when it’s not with me.
With that, I slowly turn back to where I came from. I can accept that Elija doesn’t see me as more than a friend or that he has a date or whatever with another girl but I won’t force myself to witness it unless I have to. Nope, I’ll just go back to my tent and call it a night. Might be best to just go to sleep.
Taking the first step away from the guys, I curse myself when a twig snaps beneath my boot.
‘Hey, who’s there?’ I hear Orion yell. They clearly haven’t been able to make me out in the dark and I seriously consider making a run for it. ‘Show yourself, Creep!’ Elsa adds.
With no doubt red cheeks, I turn once more and finally walk up to my friends. Although I do take care not to look at Elija, even as I feel his eyes on me.
‘Hi,’ I say sheepishly. ‘Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I changed my mind about coming but I think it was a mistake. I’m kind of tired,’ I tell them with a smile.
For the first time ever, I hate it. I hate the stupid smile on my face because with every second I avoid meeting Elija’s eyes my heart seems to sink a little more. I felt better before coming here but now I’m barely able to smile at my friends. Especially knowing Elija can tell I’m wearing a mask makes it that much less appealing to wear. It’s useless and certainly adds to his impression of me. That I’m a sensitive, ingenuine wimp. A liar, even.
‘Nonsense, Flo. You’re here now, stay a little,’ Benji tells me, patting the ground next to him. Groaning inwardly, I sit down next to him.
‘Hi, I’m Florence,’ I finally introduce myself, looking at the girl closest to me before quickly glancing at the blonde girl next to Elija. Even in the dark and with the short second I looked at her I can tell she’s really pretty. Full cheeks and awake, upturned eyes framed by gold curtain bangs.
Comparing myself to her I can’t help but notice we’re opposites. Her features are soft and easy on the eyes while mine are sharp. Too sharp.
No wonder Elija fled my tent.
‘I’m Miley. Nice to meet you,’ the darkskin girl tells me, a warm smile taking up her whole face. She’s just as beautiful but I refuse to beat myself up any further. Without trying, she makes me feel welcomed in my own friend group. It doesn’t matter what I look like, these are my friends. They’ve seen me before and they obviously don’t care. I’m just tired, that’s why I’m acting so unlike myself.
‘I’m Joe,’ the other girl says. I smile at the two of them before Benji picks up a conversation with me and everyone starts doing their own thing.
As the night drags on I’m barely able to sit upright. Honestly, it’s more exhausting than you’d think to ignore a person you’ve gotten used to paying attention to. Especially when his loud laughter mocks me every time I try to relax, reminding me I’m not the cause for it.
‘Flo, did you hear what I said?’ Jamie asks. I smile at him apologetically and shake my head.
At some point, my friend sat down on the other side of me and started talking.
‘I was just telling you about the time I stuck a Hello Kitty sticker on Orion’s skateboard. He chased me with it afterward, threatening to smash it over my head,’ he tells me wistfully before zoning back. ‘Come here, why don’t you lay down?’ he asks, motioning to his legs expectantly.
‘That sounds nice,’ I tell him, getting ready to lie down even though I’d rather go back to camp.
‘There’s no need for that,’ a voice interrupts me, successfully making me meet the dark eyes I’ve been trying not to think about. ‘I’m walking Joe back to camp. Come on, Flo,’ Elija says. Flo. He called me Flo, not Florence.
It’s my nickname, I know. It really shouldn’t bother me but my tired mind and exhausted heart both protest at the sound of it from his lips. The grim expression on his face doesn’t help either.
Averting my eyes, I get up and mutter a quick goodbye to Miley and the guys. Joe’s already a few feet ahead and Elija catches up with her effortlessly, leaving me to trail behind them like a beaten dog. The two of them have a fluent conversation but I’m too tired to listen to it, much less engage in it.
Halfway back I decide I’ve had enough. This isn’t me. I’m not some pushover to order around and treat like dirt. I’m Florence fucking Lite and even though I’m tired I won’t let myself sink that low. With that in mind, I stop in my tracks. As expected, the two people in front of me keep walking, unaware of my change in attitude and I gladly watch them go.
It’s best they didn’t turn to talk to me since I’m sure I would have regretted speaking my mind right now. Elija might have been rude tonight but that’s not a reason for me to be as well. I just need to cool off. Alone.
