I didn’t go to Sterling’s house with the intention of sleeping there. But after the two orgasms he gave me back to back, I was completely spent. He was my first and I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way. I would do it over again and again if I could.
I want him to be my first when it comes to everything.
When I wake up in the morning, the sunlight is shining brightly through his window. Rolling over in bed, I see that Sterling is already awake. He’s lying beside me, a lazy grin on his lips as he watches me from where he’s laying.
“You know, you snore a lot,” he muses out loud with a look of amusement in his eyes.
My eyebrows tug together and I roll my eyes at him. “No, I don’t.”
Sterling chuckles as he slides his arm underneath my neck and pulls me closer to him. He rolls onto his back, pulling me flush against his side. Our naked bodies are once again pressed together. I can’t help but want to explore more of him, but after last night I’m fairly sore. Sterling was a perfect gentleman and tended to me afterward, making sure that I was comfortable and not in any pain.
I like this sweet side of him—the one that is reserved for only me.
“What do you have to do today?’ he questions me, his voice soft as he traces invisible patterns on my naked back with the tips of his fingers.
“Nothing,” I answer him as I wrap my arm around his torso. My face is pressed against his chest and I feel like I could spend an eternity in his arms. Even though the future is completely unpredictable, I like these moments with him. I’m content with this, even if this is all I will ever get from him. “Do you have anything going on?”
“I actually have a game later tonight, but I was wondering if maybe you would want to come back over afterward.” There’s a nervousness in his voice that I’ve never heard before and it makes me smile. I like the vulnerable side of Sterling. It shows that there’s more to him than what meets the eye and I love every single one of his layers, regardless of how rough they might be around the edges.
“I would love that,” I tell him, turning my head to face him as I rest my chin on his chest. “I should probably get home and get a shower and everything. I’m sure you have a lot to do to get ready for your game.”
Sterling’s lips part slightly like he’s about to say something, and there’s a part of me that wishes he would invite me to his game. Then again, why would he? It’s not like we have anything definitive between us, and that means he would be inviting me into his world even more. He might not be ready for that and if he isn’t, then I’m not going to push anything either.
I only want to be a part of his world when he’s ready to let me in completely.
If that ever happens…
“I’ll take you back to your dorm whenever you’re ready,” he says gently as if he’s tiptoeing around me. I swallow back the disappointment and nod as I move away from him.
“I’ll get dressed and then I’m ready to go when you are.”
Sterling flashes me that smile he keeps hidden from the rest of the world as he climbs out of bed. We both get dressed in silence and he hands me my coat as he takes my backpack and leaves the bedroom. I follow after him, walking down the hallway. Thankfully, I don’t have to do the walk of shame in front of his roommates because neither of them are anywhere to be seen.
I follow Sterling out into the cold air, which is a stark contrast to the bright sun shining from above. Pausing by his car, I close my eyes and tilt my head back to soak up the warmth. The sun is one of my favorite things about life. Mainly because it brings everything around us to life. You can’t help but smile when you feel the warmth of its rays soaking into your soul.
As I open my eyes and move my head, I catch Sterling watching me from his side of the car. There’s an unreadable expression on his face and emotion swirls in his irises. He doesn’t say anything as he gets in behind the wheel and I follow suit, climbing into the passenger’s side.
We’re both quiet and lost in our thoughts as we head back to campus. It feels like the car ride is shorter than I’ve ever experienced. Suddenly, he’s pulling up in front of the building and it’s time for us to go our separate ways. There’s an awkwardness that settles heavily in the air around us and I shift nervously in my seat before turning toward the door.
“Thanks for last night and the ride home,” I tell Sterling, glancing at him over my shoulder as I reach for the door handle. Just as I’m about to pull it, I feel his hands on my shoulders, pulling me back to face him.
Sterling releases my shoulders as I’m now facing him and he cups the sides of my face. “Don’t go like that, sunshine,” he murmurs, stroking my cheeks. “Never leave me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Without a kiss,” he says softly, his face dipping down to mine. He kisses me with a tenderness, his tongue gently caressing mine as he effectively steals the air from my lungs. Releasing me, we break apart as we both come up for air. I’m left breathless, with his mark left on my soul.
“I’ll call you after my game, okay?” he says, his eyes bouncing back and forth between mine like he’s searching for my approval.
“That sounds perfect.” I smile at him as I open the door. “Good luck tonight,” I say as I get out of the car.
“Get some rest because I plan on showing you some new things tonight,” he says with a wink as I shut the door. Clenching my thighs together, I attempt to feign off the friction that builds. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else and it honestly scares the hell out of me.
What happens when this all goes up in flames?
I’ll be left to pick up the ashes myself…
After taking a hot shower and a nap, I’m lying on my bed reading when my phone goes off. Glancing at the alarm clock on my nightstand, I notice it’s only four o’clock in the afternoon, so it isn’t Sterling. His game probably hasn’t even started yet.
Grabbing my phone, I pick it up and look at the name on the screen.
Noah.
My stomach sinks as memories of last night bombard my mind. The last conversation I had with Noah, he asked about Sterling and I told him that Sterling was just a friend. And then I went and ended up in bed with him last night. I need to tell Noah the truth and let him go. He’s the safer option but it isn’t fair to him. I can’t lead him on, stringing him along as a second option when everything with Sterling goes south.
“Hello?” I answer the phone with my stomach in knots. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to tell him.
“Hey! How are you, Olivia?”
I practically choke on the air that I attempt to exhale. “I’m um, good. How are you?”
“I’m good. I was just wondering if you wanted to do something this evening. I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve hung out and I wanted to see you.”
My stomach sinks as dread rolls in the pit of my stomach. I want to hang out with him as friends, but nothing more. I feel terrible thinking about what I need to tell him and saying it to him now on the phone. I should just meet with him and have a real conversation face to face, instead of through the phone.
“I have plans later tonight, but I’m not doing anything this evening if you wanted to get together.”
“That sounds perfect.” I can hear the smile in his voice and it only makes me feel worse. “I’ll pick you up at six and we can go do something.”
I can’t help but feel terrible already and have instant regret. “That sounds good to me. I’ll see you then.”
After ending the call, I set my phone back on my nightstand before rolling over onto my stomach. I bury my face in my pillow and fight the urge to scream. Sterling won’t be happy if he knows I’m hanging out with Noah before seeing him, but he should be happy when he finds out I’ve told Noah that there can’t ever be anything between us.
I spend the next hour in bed staring at my ceiling before it’s time for me to get ready. I put on a light layer of makeup and dress in something warm with the way the temperature drops here at night. I don’t know what Noah has planned, but I want to make sure I’m warm enough.
And I need to figure out when exactly I’m going to break the news to him tonight.
Noah, being himself, is promptly waiting outside at six o’clock on the dot. With my scarf wrapped tightly around my neck, I shove my gloved hands into the pockets of my coat as I walk through the brisk air toward his car. He gets out and opens the door for me as I reach the vehicle.
I climb inside, regret building within me as I put on my seat belt. Noah slides in behind the wheel, turning to face me with that damn bright smile on his face.
“I’m glad you wore something warm,” he tells me as he puts on his own seat belt and puts the car in drive.
My eyebrows pull together and I tilt my head to the side. “Why’s that?”
Noah’s smile is warm. “We’re going to go watch a hockey game tonight.”
My stomach falls to the floor as dread consumes me. No, this can’t happen. We can’t go to the hockey game. We can’t go there because Sterling will be there and if he sees us together, this isn’t going to go well at all.
“I don’t really care for sports,” I tell him, shrugging as I attempt to be dismissive.
Noah’s face falls. “My brother plays on the opposing team and I told him I would come tonight. If you don’t want to come to the game with me, that’s okay. I would never make you do something you don’t want to do.”
Damn Noah and his moral code.
Plastering a smile to my face, I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go with you.”
I instantly regret the words as they fall from my lips, but it’s too late now. I already agreed to go with him because I don’t want to disappoint him. I’m already going to be telling him that we can’t be anything more than friends. The least I can do is go to a game with him…
And pray to God that Sterling doesn’t see us.
