“I’m baaaaack!” Noah singsongs into the phone when I answer it.
“About goddamn time! Do you know how long two weeks is? You were gone forever!”
“I know! I’ve never been disconnected for so long, and although it was so nice, I feel like I’ve missed so much.”
That’d be an understatement.
“I can’t wait to see you! I have so much to share,” I say as I stare at the boxes of pregnancy tests on my counter. After being sick all weekend and having a bad reaction to the smell of eggs, I need to double-check I’m not knocked up for my own sanity before I see Tripp again. “Speaking of, have you heard about the robberies in town?”
“Yeah, I came back to a dozen texts from my brothers about it and some random car explosion. What the fuck was that about? I hope they catch him soon because now that everyone’s on alert, they’ll be keepin’ their shotguns close by and loaded.”
I chuckle because it’s true. “Hittin’ stores at night is one thing because you’re racing against time before the cops show up, but doing it in broad daylight when people are shopping is just askin’ to get shot.”
“Exactly what I said!” She laughs. “I can’t wait to show you all the photos I took. Even ran into a group of hot college guys and showed them my single bestie’s photos. Might’ve gotten some numbers for ya.”
I snort, picturing her doing just that. “And were any of ’em local?”
“From France, but their accents…” Her dreamy sigh has me giggling.
“You just want me to marry a French man so you can listen to him talk all day.”
“Duh.” She laughs and then continues telling me about a few of the things they did on their honeymoon. As much as I missed her and want to talk, the possibility I could be pregnant has my mind too distracted.
Considering Tripp and I only had sex three days ago, I know it wouldn’t be his.
And that would be fucking devastating.
My birth control is for a three-month supply at a time, and I take them religiously on time every morning before work. The only times I’ve taken them late are when I was sick and slept in. And since that was after Travis and I had sex, that’d mean the condom Travis used either broke or was expired. Even though the pill isn’t a hundred percent effective, the condom should’ve been a solid backup. Knowing how irresponsible and cheap he is, he probably got a condom from a quarter vending machine.
“Mags? You there?” Noah’s voice beams in my ear, and I snap out of it.
“Yep, sorry. Just, uh…cleaning and watching Hart of Dixie.” I lean back on the couch and prop my feet up on the coffee table.
She gasps. “Without me? How dare you?”
“As if we haven’t seen it eighty million times. Plus, it’s just on in the background while I get shit done around the house.”
“Forever Team George.”
I scoff. “You mean Team Wade. I know you like ’em older and all…but no. Bad boy underdog for the win.”
“Oh my God. George ain’t old.”
I snicker at how offended she sounds. “Guess I shouldn’t tell you I was blastin’ a Taylor Swift playlist earlier and baking muffins.”
“Magnolia Sutherland! You’re doing all our favorite things without me.” Her sad, pouty voice makes me laugh.
“Well, I gotta get shit done! Not all of us can go on a two-week honeymoon to the island of bumfuck nowhere. Plus, when I’m home, it gets lonely, so I needed Taylor and Wade to keep me company.”
“Are you at least rememberin’ to feed yourself?”
The thought of food makes me want to throw up. “Mm-hmm.”
“More than girl dinner snacks?”
“Froot Loops is totally an acceptable dinner,” I say, knowing she’s going to scold me. “Oh, and Hot Cheetos.”
She snorts. “Glad nothin’ changed while I was gone.”
“Hey, cookin’ for one person is hard.”
“You can eat at The Lodge on the days you’re workin’ there.”
“By myself?”
“I’m sure you could convince Landen to go with you. He eats like eight times a day.”
“He really does! And where does it all go?” The man has muscles for days.
“No clue. Have you seen him lately? How’s he doing since Sydney?”
“I haven’t seen him since that night, and he’s not replying to my text messages. So I don’t think very well.”
“I feel awful that I wasn’t here. He loved her so much. Tripp said he went into the woods and just started chopping wood.” The sadness in her voice mimics how we all felt when it happened.
“He usually visits me when I’m at the retreat, so I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow. Speaking of, when do I get to see my best friend again?”
“I’m unpacking and doing laundry today, and then I train in the morning, but I’ll stop by to see you in the afternoon when you aren’t as busy. Plus, I miss my specialty Magnolia coffee.”
“You better not have been cheatin’ on me while you were away.”
“Never! It was a strict diet of alcohol and greasy foods.”
At the mention of greasy food, my stomach rolls, and I swallow down whatever just threatened to come up. Either I suddenly have an aversion to food or something is making me nauseous all the damn time.
“Hey, my dad’s calling, and I wanna make sure everything’s okay,” I say.
“No problem. I’ll see ya tomorrow!”
“K, love you.”
“Love you, bye!”
I quickly click over to the other line. “Hey, Dad. You alright?”
“I was callin’ to ask you the same thing.”
I sit up straighter on the couch. “What’d ya mean?”
“I just heard on the scanner that a bunch of cars got broken into this afternoon off Second and Sheboygan.”
That’s only a few blocks from me.
What the fuck is happening around here?
“No, I haven’t heard anything. But I can see my car from my front window…” I walk over and peek through the blinds to double-check. “Yeah, looks fine from here. Not that they’d find anything except some empty coffee cups and like twenty-three cents in change.”
“Good. Don’t leave anything valuable inside. You might wanna consider getting extra locks for your trailer.”
My heart drops at the thought of someone breaking into it. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll grab a couple from the hardware store after work tomorrow.”
I hate that I can’t park it in my apartment complex lot, so I have to trust leaving it parked downtown for now.
“So anyway, how’re you and Mama doing? I was thinkin’ of visiting on Sunday. Would that be okay?”
Even though Thanksgiving is this Thursday, we haven’t celebrated together in years. I always go with Noah to The Lodge with her family, where they host a feast for the staff and guests.
“That’d be great, sweetie. I can make us lunch. Fried catfish, extra crispy how ya like it, and a side of asparagus and slaw.”
Oh no.
Rushing to my kitchen, I dry heave in the sink until I finally get it out of my system and empty my stomach. I really need people to stop talking about food. If I’m pregnant, there’s no way I’m going to survive nine months of this.
“Magnolia? Sweetheart?” I hear my dad’s voice echoing from my phone.
I put him on speaker. “Sorry! Dropped ya.”
“You okay? It sounded like you were at death’s door.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Totally fine.”
The line’s silent for a beat as if he’s contemplating asking again, but when he doesn’t speak up, I make up an excuse to get off the phone.
“I gotta finish up my laundry, Dad. I’ll see you Sunday?”
“You got it, kiddo. See ya then.”
After we say goodbye, I down a glass of cold water and swish out the bad taste in my mouth.
The boxes of pregnancy tests stare at me, and I can’t take it anymore. I bought three different brands but grab the digital one first since it’ll tell me a simple yes or no instead of trying to decipher one or two faint lines. Although it suggests waiting to test first thing in the morning, I’m doing it now because at this point, I just want confirmation.
In the odd turn of events that I’m not pregnant, then I most definitely have some kind of rare parasite living in my body because I’ve never felt this on-and-off sickness before in my life.
Grabbing a paper coffee cup I brought home, I go to the bathroom and pee. I’ve been sucking down water all day, so hopefully I’m not somehow over-hydrated.
Once I’m finished, I dip the stick in the cup for a few seconds and then set it upside down on the counter. The box says it can take one to five minutes, so I wash my hands and set a timer on my phone.
Since it’s Monday, I worked downtown and didn’t get to see Tripp at the retreat. I didn’t yesterday either since I came home to sleep and clean up my apartment. He worked in the morning and then had Sunday night supper with his family, so we’ve been texting. That’s how I found out his brothers know about us, which means I need to tell Noah as soon as I see her. I know she’ll be happy for us, but I have a feeling I’ll be telling her even bigger news.
It’s not even the being pregnant part that scares me. I’d be more excited about the prospect of being a mom if it didn’t come with a lifelong sentence of dealing with Travis. Assuming he wants to be involved, there’s no way Tripp’s gonna be cool with the idea of his girlfriend being pregnant with another man’s baby. If the roles were reversed and some chick showed up saying she was pregnant with Tripp’s baby, I’d be devastated. Knowing she’d be in his life for the next eighteen years and he’d experience all the parent firsts with her and not me would make me an emotional wreck.
The timer goes off, and I jump. I was so lost in thought I almost forgot I set it.
My heart hammers in my chest so hard that I can feel it beating in my ears. My palms sweat with nerves and it takes me a moment to catch my breath. I don’t know why I’m so nervous, considering deep down, I already know what it’s going to say.
Instead of drawing it out, I grab the stick, flip it over, and read the screen.
Pregnant.
“Oh God.” I stare at the one word that’s just turned my life upside down. “I’m gonna be sick.”
I turn toward the toilet and throw up for the third time today. What the hell is even left in my stomach at this point? Considering I vomited first thing this morning before I ate breakfast just proves it doesn’t matter if there’s food in there or not. Soon I’ll be throwing up my organs.
Once the sickness settles and I brush my teeth again, I grab the other two boxes of tests and dip them in the cup of pee just to double-check. Even though the digital test is supposed to be ninety-nine percent accurate, so should’ve been my birth control and condom combo. I’m not trusting just one test.
Ten minutes later, I have two more positive tests staring at me.
I’m not really sure how to feel, but at least I know for certain.
And now, I need to decide how I’m going to tell my boyfriend and crush his heart.
As it gets colder out, I stay bundled up as I work. A hat, two layers on top, and insulated boots. Even though the trailer blocks out most of the cold, it’s the wind that sends a chill to my bones.
Tripp already stopped by early this morning with Landen, and I hate that I had to act like nothing was different. It feels like lying, but I’m not going to tell him through text or while we’re both preoccupied with our jobs.
Landen seemed better than he was last week and even teased me for looking like a hibernating bear while he was just in a long-sleeved shirt. But I teased him back that he works up a sweat and I stay in one spot for hours.
NOAH
I’m coming over now!
As soon as I read her text, I start making her coffee. She’s a basic bitch like me and is how I came up with the Basic Witch Spice latte name, which is just pumpkin syrup with extra whip and nutmeg on top.
When I see her walking up, I rush out of the trailer, and she sprints toward me. I burst out laughing when she crashes into me and we wrap our arms around each other.
“I’m so happy you’re back!” I squeal into her hair.
“Me too.”
“I have a lot to tell you,” I say, going back behind my counter to finish her drink.
“Oh God, that sounds serious.” Noah stands close, waiting for me to elaborate, but the pounding in my chest is making me feel like I’m going to pass out.
“I fucked up,” I begin.
She arches a brow. “With what?”
I blow out a breath, trying to calm my racing heart. She’s going to be so pissed with me.
“I might’ve hooked up with Travis a month ago…”
Four weeks and three days, to be exact.
Her jaw drops as she gasps. “Magnolia Sutherland! You did not! And why am I just now hearin’ about it?”
“Because I knew that’d be your reaction,” I tell her honestly. And it’s embarrassing as hell.
“Well…” She shrugs unapologetically.
“I was drunk and horny. And very, very, very stupid,” I try to explain, but honestly it was more than that. Stupid Lydia and her annoying ass being all over Tripp is also to blame. Might as well blame Landen too for making Tripp hang out with her in the first place.
“The start to every country song.” She snorts as if she’s trying to hold back laughter. “Okay, so are y’all back together now or what?”
I shudder and nearly gag at the thought of his hands on me.
“God, no. I told him to lose my number and blocked him. Drunk Magnolia ain’t makin’ that decision again.”
“Good. You deserve better.” It’s comforting hearing that because Travis tried so hard to tear me down and make me believe I wasn’t worthy to be loved or respected. Not to mention, took advantage of me when I was drunk and drugged me.
I finish her drink with a healthy dose of whipped cream, then hand her the cup.
“I took a pregnancy test, Noah.” Well, technically three.
When I see her expression, reminding me just how much I’ve truly fucked up, tears fall down my cheeks.
“It was positive,” I confirm.
“Aw, sweetie.” She walks around to the side, opens the door, and engulfs me in a hug. “I’m not sure if I should say congratulations or not but—”
“I dunno either,” I admit as I continue to cry with her arms wrapped around me.
Pulling back, I wipe my face and fidget before I tell her the rest. “That’s not the worst of it.”
Her brows lift. “What’s worse than being knocked up by your ex?”
I swallow hard and try not to word-vomit the hardest part about all of this.
“I slept with someone I really like after him, and now I’ve ruined any chance at a relationship.” Well, a long-lasting one. “He’ll never want me once he finds out I’m havin’ another man’s baby.”
Her eyes widen and her jaw drops.
Yep, just how I thought she’d react.
“Magnolia! I leave you for a couple of weeks…” She laughs but in a sincere way. “You’re sure he ain’t the father? What happened to those Magnum XL condoms I gave you last year? Surely you didn’t go through an entire pack already.”
“Trust me, Travis doesn’t need XL, but we did use one. It was either expired or it broke,” I explain with a scowl. “And yes, I’m sure. I track my period and ovulation cycles on an app. By the time I slept with the other guy, I woulda already been pregnant. I just obviously didn’t know.”
“Alright, so who is it?”
Nervously, I lower my gaze to the floor. “It was Tripp.”
“Wait…” She scratches her head as if she needs a moment to compute the words I just said. “My brother, Tripp?”
I wince at her raised voice.
She clears her throat as if she hadn’t meant to sound so harsh. “Tripp, as in the guy you’ve crushed on for nearly a decade and has never shown interest in you, Tripp?”
Sucking in my lips, I nod. “Yep. Turns out he does kinda like me.” A lot if his words and actions are any indication.
She takes a moment to process and then says, “If he truly does, he’ll accept you and the baby. But he might not be ready for that, so you’ll need to prepare yourself for that possibility.”
“Oh, I am. I’m expectin’ him to push me away and never speak to me again.”
That’s what I’d do if I were him.
She pulls me in for another hug. “Well, I’ll be here for you no matter what. My little niece or nephew will be spoiled as hell.”
I tighten my grip around her. “Thank you.” And then, to lighten the mood, I bring up something we’ve joked about since we were in high school. “I can’t believe you get to sit behind me and chant push, push, push durin’ my labor before I get to do it for you. My hot girl summer just turned into fat girl winter.”
“Oh my God.” She bursts out laughing as we pull apart. “First, that was never gonna happen. Second, summer was over before your little one-night stand mishap, but if it makes you feel any better, we’ll at least be fat together.”
It takes me a second to understand what she’s saying, and then I lower my gaze to her stomach. “What?”
No freaking way.
She nods with a contagious smile. “Yeah. Just found out this mornin’.”
My jaw drops, and I smash her into another hug. “Holy shit! I never thought we’d be pregnant together!”
“Me neither. We weren’t even tryin’!”
“Damn.” I step back with a smirk. “Daddy Fisher sperm workin’ double time.” I waggle my brows at the nickname I gave him last year, and she smacks my arm.
“I swear it was the water at that place. Either that or honeymoon sex works faster.”
I lean against the counter and grin. Her being pregnant with me makes this so much better. “What if our kids grow up and marry each other? We’d be in-laws!”
She giggles. “You’re nuts, you know that?”
“I do. These hormones are about to make it worse, too.”
“Now we can annoy Fisher and my brothers together.”
She grabs her cup of coffee and takes a sip. Considering we’re going to have to limit our caffeine intake now, I don’t blame her for taking advantage one last time.
“About that. I need you to keep this a secret, at least until I can tell Tripp myself.”
“Yeah, of course. Are you gonna tell Travis?”
My top lip curls as I groan. “Eventually. I wish I didn’t have to, but if he finds out before I tell him, he’ll be even more immature about it. If it were up to me, he wouldn’t exist at all.”
“You know that ain’t fair, though. He deserves a chance to be a father; if he chooses not to be, you can cut him out completely. Just don’t let him back into your life, if you know what I mean.”
It’ll be an icy cold day in hell before that happens. I cross my arms and sigh. “Yes, Mother. I don’t wanna anyway.”
“Good. Then all you need to focus on right now is eatin’ healthy, stayin’ stress-free, and gettin’ enough sleep.”
“What ’bout you? Are you still gonna ride?” I ask.
“Yes, but I won’t do tricks or stunts. I’m sure Fisher will try to ban me from all trainin’, but it’s literally my job, so he’ll just have to deal with it. But otherwise, I’m gonna make sure I don’t overdo it, either. We can be accountability partners.”
My whole body warms at that idea. I won’t have to go through this new scary journey alone.
“I love that idea. This is much more excitin’ now that you’re knocked up, too.” I giggle and take out my phone.
“Happy to have forgotten my birth control for you,” she deadpans.
“I downloaded this pregnancy app. You should get it, and then we can track our progress and milestones. It says my baby is the size of a lentil.” I hold up my hand and make a tiny circle.
Once she’s downloaded it, she inputs the date of her last menstrual cycle, and it reveals she’s four weeks along.
“Mine is the size of a poppy seed.” She shows me the photo. “Hm, Poppy. That’s a cute name.”
I shoot her a look of concern. “Sorry, but I’m not namin’ mine Lentil.” If that’s where she’s going with it, I’d choose Chatty or Willow first.
At the thought of Tripp’s baby name idea, tears threaten to fall again.
Noah bursts out laughing. “Fair enough.”
Per the app, I’m six weeks along, which means we’re only two weeks apart and we’ll go through a lot of our milestones together.
“I’m excited to go through my first pregnancy with you. Even if the circumstances aren’t what you’d hoped for, you’re gonna be a mom, and that’s somethin’ to celebrate,” she says as I stare at the screen.
I nod. “You’re right.”
At the end of the day, regardless of the shitty situation I got myself in, a new life will be born in nine months and I’ll be responsible for them. A baby that’ll change my life forever.
“We’ll plan a dinner and sleepover at my house this weekend. Whaddya say? I’m sure Mallory and Serena would love to come to a dance party.
I actually love that idea. We’ve been doing them for years, and when the girls came into our lives, we recruited them to join us. Even in our twenties, we act like we’re back in high school again and have the time of our lives.
“Can you still have slumber parties when you’re married?” I tease, and when the tears I try holding back fall, I quickly wipe them.
“Um, duh. Fisher knows who he married. If he wasn’t prepared for Taylor Swift sing-alongs and pajama nights, he shouldn’t have proposed.”
I’m so envious of their relationship but am so happy she has him. She deserves a great guy like him. That’s the future I envisioned with Tripp, but now, that might be gone.
“You’re so lucky to have each other. You won the husband lottery,” I say.
“And you will find someone equally lucky to have you. I promise.”
I already have…but he might not want me after he finds out the truth.
We chat for a few more minutes as she drinks her coffee. When a customer approaches, we hug goodbye and make plans to see each other on Thanksgiving in a couple of days.
For the next two hours, I have a steady line of people, so I don’t have time to overthink, but as soon as three hits and I close up for the day, my brain spirals out of control again.
Maybe I should only focus on my business and pregnancy.
Maybe being in a relationship right now isn’t the best idea.
Maybe I should let him go so he can be happy with someone else.
Tripp doesn’t deserve the shitstorm I’m about to lay on him. Especially once Travis knows, he’s going to be insufferable about us getting back together.
No matter what he says, promises, or does—that’ll never happen. I’m stronger and have more self-respect for myself than when I was in high school. Plus, it’s not only me I have to think about now. Another human is going to depend on me for everything and that alone is scary. How am I supposed to juggle dating into the mix?
I can’t even fathom being with someone who’s having a kid with someone else, so I can’t expect that kind of understanding from Tripp. As much as I’ve wanted him for years and have been insanely happy these past few weeks, my life’s about to flip upside down.
And that’s not fair to him.
By the time I get home, I’ve made my decision.
Our now perfect little bubble is about to burst because I’m about to destroy everything we made.
