I GIVE COOPER A SHOVE. He slides out of the booth so I can escape.
“You okay?” he asks quietly, glancing at Richard.
I nod. “Yeah. I just need a second.”
I wind my way through the restaurant, side-stepping our server and a woman with a little dog in her purse. Out on the sidewalk, I lean against the building and take a deep breath.
It’s not the talk of the money, or the prospect of the work ahead. I don’t know what it is, exactly, but something is making my insides twist like they’re caught in a vise. I sink into a crouch, fisting my hands together and pressing them to my mouth. If it was just baseball, just swinging the bat and making plays, it would be so different. But you can’t have one without the other, without all this shit about contracts and comparisons and stat lines and endorsements, and sooner or later, I’m going to need to come to terms with that. It’s a game, but it’s also a business, and once I sign a contract, I’m agreeing to become an employee, not just an athlete.
It’s not fear. I shut my eyes, internally checking my gut. I’m not afraid of being unable to perform my future job well; I know I can handle the level of competition. It’s this deep, dragging anxiety that won’t leave me the fuck alone. A part of me, increasingly loud, that wants to say no thank you.
I laugh shortly. What would the Andys of the world say to that? What would Richard say? Or James and Cooper, for that matter? Our respective sports have always bound us together, and if I walked away from that, it would be like Andy insinuated. The two of them, Richard’s true sons, and then me.
Mia has a meeting with Alice this morning—right now, exactly, if I remember the time correctly—but I can’t help texting her. I type out a mini essay, a rambling run-on of a sentence, then delete it all. I’m not ready for this conversation with anyone, not even her. I delete it all and just ask how she’s doing. When it delivers, I stare at my phone, waiting for those three little dots.
“Sebastian?”
I look up at Richard. He’s frowning at me as he shields his eyes from the sun, his watch glinting in the light. “Son, what’s the matter?”
I shove my phone into my pocket and stand. I brush down my shirt and adjust my collar. “I’m sorry, sir.”
His frown deepens as he clasps my shoulder, his hand squeezing tightly. “Sorry for what?”
“Leaving, I guess.” I bite my lip. “I know it was rude.”
“Do you feel okay?” He presses the back of his hand to my forehead. I blink rapidly; the touch makes my eyes burn. “Are you coming down with something?”
I shake my head, leaning away. “No. It’s just… it’s a lot.”
“Is this about whatever’s going on with you and Cooper?”
I feel bad throwing Cooper under the bus, but it’s easier to talk about that than the jumbled thoughts running through my mind whenever I think about baseball, so I nod. “It’s been this whole thing with Mia.”
Richard sighs deeply.
“I suppose I’ve been lucky with you two,” he says. “Same age, and you became friends, not adversaries. I see so much of myself in Cooper, and so much of Jacob in you. Jake and I had our fair share of scuffles, you know.”
“Yeah?”
He laughs softly at some far-off memory. “I miss him.”
It takes me a moment to reply. “I miss him too.”
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s wrap things up with Andy. Then you and Cooper will sort this out. I want to hear about Mia, too. From what I remember, that girl wears a lot of black.”
I smile at the thought of her in one of her trademark dark outfits. “I’m not signing with him.”
He snorts as he claps me on the back. “Absolutely not. The guy’s a scumbag. He makes some good points about contract structuring, though.”
“THIS REALLY ISN’T NECESSARY,” Cooper says.
“Yeah,” I say. “We’re fine.”
Richard leans through the open backseat window, fixing each of us with his most serious gaze. Cooper refuses to blink, but I look away. “I’ll be outside. Take your time. Roll up the windows, Anderson.”
The minute we’re alone in the car—locked in to “figure out our shit,” as Richard put it when we pulled up to the house—Cooper peers into the front seat, a scowl on his face.
“The car’s still running,” he says. “Want to make a break for it?”
I flop against the seat with a groan. “That would make things worse.”
“We don’t have to talk.”
“No.” I rub my temples. Even though I’m a little less pissed at him now, thanks to the conversation with Andy, that doesn’t mean I’m thrilled by the prospect of chatting with him about Mia. He didn’t have the right to stick his nose in our business, regardless of the result. If he pushed, and Mia had reacted by breaking everything off completely, rather than agreeing to give me a chance—well, we’d have way bigger issues than our dad locking us in a car together to chat.
Cooper glances at his phone. “I could text Penny and see if she’ll rescue us. She’s not afraid of Dad.”
I snort. If there’s one person Richard Callahan doesn’t intimidate, it’s Penny. “No. I don’t want this getting back to Mia.”
“You scared of her?”
“No, dumbass.” I kick him. “I don’t want her to feel bad.”
He kicks me back. “You really planned a whole date, and she ghosted you? That’s the big thing you refused to tell me?”
“It’s ancient history now.”
“That doesn’t mean she didn’t hurt you.”
I sigh, leaning my head against the seat. Even though the air conditioner is still running, I feel warm, my collar stiff and choking. I undo the top few buttons of my shirt. “I’m not saying that she didn’t. Both of you were right, I guess. I was keeping how I felt bottled in rather than rock the boat.”
“And you let her drag you along in the process.”
I shake my head. “She wasn’t doing it to be malicious. I know that. She just has her own shit to deal with.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I don’t know the specifics, but I’m certain that there’s something else going on. Something that made her think twice about whether she wanted to get involved with me on a deeper level when she realized that she had feelings for me. It’s not like I’m not scared shitless too. I just have to hope that together, we’ll be able to make it work. There’s no one else I’d want to try it with, after all. “I was trying to be patient, at least until you came along.”
“Then I don’t regret it.”
I roll my eyes. “You could have been nicer about it.”
“You deserved more than she was giving.”
“And like I said before, it’s not your job to defend me. I can handle my own shit.”
“I know you can, but you’re my brother. You’re family. Speaking of, what the hell was wrong with that douche?”
I can’t keep myself from laughing. “He’s not going to be my agent, that’s for sure.”
“Good. Because I can accept the Mia thing, but that? No way.”
“I like her, Cooper.” He meets my eyes. I swallow, pushing past the awkwardness that comes along—always—with honesty. “I like her a hell of a lot. You fell for Penny from the first moment you saw her, right? Something felt different. I think—I think the same thing has been happening with me and Mia. I need you to apologize to her.”
After a moment, he nods. “I will. When did you hook up for the first time, anyway?”
“January. Right after winter break.” I smile as I remember her scowl, and the way it softened once I got her alone. “But we started talking before then.”
“You kept it secret that long?”
“It’s how she wanted it.”
“So at my birthday party, you were together?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“Huh.” He scratches at his beard. “You know what? We should do a double date.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “Words I’d never have expected to hear from your mouth.”
